A/N Hello my fellow fan fiction buddies! I have had writer's block for absolutely ages, but after watching an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, I got some inspiration. I hope you like it! I know that I have used some modern things in this story (songs movies etc) so don't bother telling me!
This fic is written in honour of Comic Relief. Go red noses!
A Highly Predictable Lily/James Fic
"Well-" Lily said again, "'m not going with anyone yet, sooo, okay!"
"Great," James said, a small smile playing on his lips.
After that everyone went to bed.
The next two weeks passed quite quickly, with many people asking others to the dance. Lily got asked by a lot of people, worst of all, Severus Snape. She was disgusted to find that Severus "Slimeball" Snape had a crush on her.
On the 20th of the month, as you already know if you remember from last time, it was an open day when the students of Hogwarts could go and buy clothes to wear to the dance.
Again, as you already know, they were allowed to go to either Hogsmeade or a neighbouring Muggle village. Lily, Henna and Rosie decided to go to Sutton Coldfield town centre, which was neither Hogsmeade nor a neighbouring Muggle village, but regardless of the rules as they were, they didn't care.
They used Floo-powder to get there and stepped out of a fire in the back room of Druckers Patisserie. They walked as casually as they could through Druckers, trying not to attract any attention, which they didn't manage, because who wouldn't notice three beautiful, vivacious teenagers?
Although it was only October, all the customers of Druckers were wearing red noses, in aid of comic relief, or red nose day as it is more popularly known. Blaring out of the antique speakers at the back of the shop was the re-done-by-westlife-absolutely-rubbish-version-of-uptown-girl. Because all three girls detested Westlife and all their songs (I mean how many cover versions have they had?), they hurried out of Druckers as quickly as they possibly could.
They decided to look around the clothes shops then, seeing as that was why they had come in the first place. They shopped non-stop for the next three hours, and when that time was up, they had all bought some clothes.
They were all pleased with their purchases, so went back into Druckers to use the fire. Surprisingly, Uptown Girl was still playing on the stereo, and they had just announced that it had reached number one in the Pepsi Chart on BRMB! The girls could not see how this was at all possible as every member of Westlife were ugly, especially Mark "fishlips".
Henna sprinkled some floo powder into the fire and the three girls stepped through it each shouting "Gryffindor Common Room". They couldn't wait to get away from the annoying lyrics of Uptown Girl. When they arrived back in the common room, they found that no-one else was there. So they sat down and waited for everybody to arrive back. Annoyingly, though not surprisingly, Lily found that the words of Uptown Girl were running through her head. Uptown Girl, she's been living in her uptown world, I bet she's never had a backstreet guy, I bet her mama never told her why.
"Stop it!" Lily cried out loudly.
"Stop what?" said a voice from behind her. She jumped and looked around.
"Sirius! Don't do that!"
"Stop what?" he repeated again.
"The lyrics of Uptown Girl keep repeating themselves over and over again in my head." Lily said, "it's really annoying!"
"I know what you mean!" Rosie said, "the lyrics keep running through my head too! Stupid Westlife!"
"Well, it's all for a good cause." James said reasonably, "red nose day rocks!"
"Yeah I suppose, but I mean they could have chosen a better song!" Henna exclaimed.
* * *
Not much happened in the next ten days before the ball, although Sirius did set McGonagall's hair on fire.
On the 31st, the day of the dance, it was a Saturday, so there were no classes and plenty of time to get ready.
At five thirty, an hour and a half before the dance was to start, the girls went up to their dorm to get ready.
They got ready, and at quarter to seven went down the stairs. The boys weren't there yet, so they sat down and tried not to mess up their hair or make up.
Ten minutes later, Sirius, Remus and James came down (Peter had already gone to meet his date). Sirius was wearing leather *Sirius in leather! Yay!* trousers, and a white T-shirt. James was wearing blue jeans and a white T-shirt, and Remus was wearing black trousers and a white T-shirt. When they saw the girls, their mouths fell open in surprise (as usual!), though this was to be expected as the girls did look pretty stunning.
Lily was wearing a long close fitting strapless white dress, with a split in the side. On her feet she wore dainty white sandals, and her hair was left flowing over her shoulders. Henna was wearing a very short red dress and thigh length red platform boots. Her hair was tied up in a high pony tail. Rosie was wearing a lilac dress made of a satin material. The bodice was tight fitting and low cut, but the skirt flared out. She had piled her hair onto the top of her head, letting a few caramel curls fall over her face.
The boys each took the arm of the girl they were escorting to the dance, and escorted them.
Now, shall we listen in on the couples conversations? I think we should. Firstly, Henna and Sirius.
* * *
"Henna?" Sirius asked.
"What?" Henna replied.
"If you saw me walking down the street, staring at the sky and dragging my feet, would you just pass me by? Would you miss my cry? Even though you could make me whole again?" Sirius said.
"Of course not, stupid," replied Henna.
* * *
Secondly, Remus and Rosie.
"Rosie, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," Rosie said smiling, "fire away."
"Well, what would you say if I told you that I was a wild thing? That I could make your heart sing? That I could make everything groovy?"
"I'd say Wild thing I think I love you!" Rosie exclaimed.
* * *
And finally, Lily and James.
"Lily, I hate you so much right now, I hate you so much right now!" James said.
"Okay, okay, I already know that, but I think you're caught out there, and I'm so sick of your games, James." Lily replied.
"I still hate you so much right now!" James said.
* * *
Finally they reached the great hall. The dance was about to start, and to Lily's, Rosie's and Henna's horror, it was opened by Westlife and Uptown Girl. They refused to dance to it, just like many other couples. When it was almost the end of the song (she'll say I'm not so tough, just because I'm in love...), the whole dance floor had cleared, and many people were being sick in the punch bowls.
Dumbledore could see that the dance was not going to be a success if Westlife kept on playing, so he sent them back to the year 2001, and magicked a massive stereo system onto the stage instead. The stereo system began to play good songs, and people stopped being sick and got up to dance.
About half-way through the dance, Lily and James went to sit outside.
They sat on a bench, and talked for a bit. After a while, Lily began to shiver, after all, her dress was strapless and it was October. Very un-subtly, James put his arms around her, and when he did, lightning shaped sparks flew over them.
They sat there that way for a few minutes, then James leaned over to kiss Lily. His lips met hers, and a flow of electricity passed between them. More sparks flew overhead, and when they pulled away from their kiss, Lily found herself staring at a frog. Then, without any warning she felt herself being lifted off the ground and transported somewhere. It made her feel dizzy, as if she was using Floo powder.
She landed with a thump in a place that looked like a doctors surgery, but with lots of doors.
Next to her was the James-Frog. She stood up shakily, wondering what had happened. As if to answer her unasked question a lady, with blonde hair pulled back in a bun, and Dame Edna style glasses walked into the room.
"Ah, Lily Evans, I've been expecting you." she said, "Good evening. I am Dr. Slater. I take it that this is James Potter?"
Lily nodded, then asked a question.
"Where am I, how did I get here, and why is James a frog?" I know I said a question, but Lily's tongue ran away with her.
"First things first," said Dr. Slater, "you are at the love clinic. Secondly, you came here because you need my help, and thirdly James is a frog because he kissed you."
"But why would he turn into a frog just because he kissed me?" Lily asked.
"Because what you have is special, there were sparks flying, surely that tells you something?" Dr Slater replied.
"Okay," Lily said slowly, "but how do I change him back?"
"Well, you must prove that what you have together is true love by undergoing three tests. If you should fail any of the tests at any time, you too will be turned into a frog."
"Well that doesn't seem fair! I didn't even like him five months ago!" Lily exclaimed.
"Well dear, as someone once said, life isn't fair. Now, are you ready to take the first test?" Dr Slater said.
"I suppose. What do I have to do?" Lily replied.
"Go through that door. You'll see what to do when you get there." Dr Slater explained.
Lily took a deep breath and walked through door number one, wondering what was on the other side.
A/N I know, lame place to stop, but I don't feel like writing any more today. Sorry if this was a bit crappified. And sorry for the long delay in it being posted. And I'm also deeply sorry to those people who like Westlife and who feel offended by the content of this story. It's just that I'm peed off that they got to number one over Shaggy, so I thought I'd take it out on this poor unsuspecting fic. Once again I'm sorry to all those poor people who actually like Westlife. Okay, now for all the disclaimer rubbish:
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Harry Potter Books, though I wish I did. I don't own Westlife or Uptown Girl and I'm glad I don't. I don't own Whole Again by Atomic Kitten, Wild Thing by The Troggs or Caught Out There by Kelis. I don't own Druckers or Sutton Town Centre.
Claimer: I own James-Frog and Dr Slater. Henna is based on me. Rosie is based on a friend. I belong to myself and Rosie (who isn't called Rosie in real life) belongs to herself.
Friendship, fidelity, faith
This fic is written in honour of Comic Relief. Go red noses!
A Highly Predictable Lily/James Fic
"Well-" Lily said again, "'m not going with anyone yet, sooo, okay!"
"Great," James said, a small smile playing on his lips.
After that everyone went to bed.
The next two weeks passed quite quickly, with many people asking others to the dance. Lily got asked by a lot of people, worst of all, Severus Snape. She was disgusted to find that Severus "Slimeball" Snape had a crush on her.
On the 20th of the month, as you already know if you remember from last time, it was an open day when the students of Hogwarts could go and buy clothes to wear to the dance.
Again, as you already know, they were allowed to go to either Hogsmeade or a neighbouring Muggle village. Lily, Henna and Rosie decided to go to Sutton Coldfield town centre, which was neither Hogsmeade nor a neighbouring Muggle village, but regardless of the rules as they were, they didn't care.
They used Floo-powder to get there and stepped out of a fire in the back room of Druckers Patisserie. They walked as casually as they could through Druckers, trying not to attract any attention, which they didn't manage, because who wouldn't notice three beautiful, vivacious teenagers?
Although it was only October, all the customers of Druckers were wearing red noses, in aid of comic relief, or red nose day as it is more popularly known. Blaring out of the antique speakers at the back of the shop was the re-done-by-westlife-absolutely-rubbish-version-of-uptown-girl. Because all three girls detested Westlife and all their songs (I mean how many cover versions have they had?), they hurried out of Druckers as quickly as they possibly could.
They decided to look around the clothes shops then, seeing as that was why they had come in the first place. They shopped non-stop for the next three hours, and when that time was up, they had all bought some clothes.
They were all pleased with their purchases, so went back into Druckers to use the fire. Surprisingly, Uptown Girl was still playing on the stereo, and they had just announced that it had reached number one in the Pepsi Chart on BRMB! The girls could not see how this was at all possible as every member of Westlife were ugly, especially Mark "fishlips".
Henna sprinkled some floo powder into the fire and the three girls stepped through it each shouting "Gryffindor Common Room". They couldn't wait to get away from the annoying lyrics of Uptown Girl. When they arrived back in the common room, they found that no-one else was there. So they sat down and waited for everybody to arrive back. Annoyingly, though not surprisingly, Lily found that the words of Uptown Girl were running through her head. Uptown Girl, she's been living in her uptown world, I bet she's never had a backstreet guy, I bet her mama never told her why.
"Stop it!" Lily cried out loudly.
"Stop what?" said a voice from behind her. She jumped and looked around.
"Sirius! Don't do that!"
"Stop what?" he repeated again.
"The lyrics of Uptown Girl keep repeating themselves over and over again in my head." Lily said, "it's really annoying!"
"I know what you mean!" Rosie said, "the lyrics keep running through my head too! Stupid Westlife!"
"Well, it's all for a good cause." James said reasonably, "red nose day rocks!"
"Yeah I suppose, but I mean they could have chosen a better song!" Henna exclaimed.
* * *
Not much happened in the next ten days before the ball, although Sirius did set McGonagall's hair on fire.
On the 31st, the day of the dance, it was a Saturday, so there were no classes and plenty of time to get ready.
At five thirty, an hour and a half before the dance was to start, the girls went up to their dorm to get ready.
They got ready, and at quarter to seven went down the stairs. The boys weren't there yet, so they sat down and tried not to mess up their hair or make up.
Ten minutes later, Sirius, Remus and James came down (Peter had already gone to meet his date). Sirius was wearing leather *Sirius in leather! Yay!* trousers, and a white T-shirt. James was wearing blue jeans and a white T-shirt, and Remus was wearing black trousers and a white T-shirt. When they saw the girls, their mouths fell open in surprise (as usual!), though this was to be expected as the girls did look pretty stunning.
Lily was wearing a long close fitting strapless white dress, with a split in the side. On her feet she wore dainty white sandals, and her hair was left flowing over her shoulders. Henna was wearing a very short red dress and thigh length red platform boots. Her hair was tied up in a high pony tail. Rosie was wearing a lilac dress made of a satin material. The bodice was tight fitting and low cut, but the skirt flared out. She had piled her hair onto the top of her head, letting a few caramel curls fall over her face.
The boys each took the arm of the girl they were escorting to the dance, and escorted them.
Now, shall we listen in on the couples conversations? I think we should. Firstly, Henna and Sirius.
* * *
"Henna?" Sirius asked.
"What?" Henna replied.
"If you saw me walking down the street, staring at the sky and dragging my feet, would you just pass me by? Would you miss my cry? Even though you could make me whole again?" Sirius said.
"Of course not, stupid," replied Henna.
* * *
Secondly, Remus and Rosie.
"Rosie, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," Rosie said smiling, "fire away."
"Well, what would you say if I told you that I was a wild thing? That I could make your heart sing? That I could make everything groovy?"
"I'd say Wild thing I think I love you!" Rosie exclaimed.
* * *
And finally, Lily and James.
"Lily, I hate you so much right now, I hate you so much right now!" James said.
"Okay, okay, I already know that, but I think you're caught out there, and I'm so sick of your games, James." Lily replied.
"I still hate you so much right now!" James said.
* * *
Finally they reached the great hall. The dance was about to start, and to Lily's, Rosie's and Henna's horror, it was opened by Westlife and Uptown Girl. They refused to dance to it, just like many other couples. When it was almost the end of the song (she'll say I'm not so tough, just because I'm in love...), the whole dance floor had cleared, and many people were being sick in the punch bowls.
Dumbledore could see that the dance was not going to be a success if Westlife kept on playing, so he sent them back to the year 2001, and magicked a massive stereo system onto the stage instead. The stereo system began to play good songs, and people stopped being sick and got up to dance.
About half-way through the dance, Lily and James went to sit outside.
They sat on a bench, and talked for a bit. After a while, Lily began to shiver, after all, her dress was strapless and it was October. Very un-subtly, James put his arms around her, and when he did, lightning shaped sparks flew over them.
They sat there that way for a few minutes, then James leaned over to kiss Lily. His lips met hers, and a flow of electricity passed between them. More sparks flew overhead, and when they pulled away from their kiss, Lily found herself staring at a frog. Then, without any warning she felt herself being lifted off the ground and transported somewhere. It made her feel dizzy, as if she was using Floo powder.
She landed with a thump in a place that looked like a doctors surgery, but with lots of doors.
Next to her was the James-Frog. She stood up shakily, wondering what had happened. As if to answer her unasked question a lady, with blonde hair pulled back in a bun, and Dame Edna style glasses walked into the room.
"Ah, Lily Evans, I've been expecting you." she said, "Good evening. I am Dr. Slater. I take it that this is James Potter?"
Lily nodded, then asked a question.
"Where am I, how did I get here, and why is James a frog?" I know I said a question, but Lily's tongue ran away with her.
"First things first," said Dr. Slater, "you are at the love clinic. Secondly, you came here because you need my help, and thirdly James is a frog because he kissed you."
"But why would he turn into a frog just because he kissed me?" Lily asked.
"Because what you have is special, there were sparks flying, surely that tells you something?" Dr Slater replied.
"Okay," Lily said slowly, "but how do I change him back?"
"Well, you must prove that what you have together is true love by undergoing three tests. If you should fail any of the tests at any time, you too will be turned into a frog."
"Well that doesn't seem fair! I didn't even like him five months ago!" Lily exclaimed.
"Well dear, as someone once said, life isn't fair. Now, are you ready to take the first test?" Dr Slater said.
"I suppose. What do I have to do?" Lily replied.
"Go through that door. You'll see what to do when you get there." Dr Slater explained.
Lily took a deep breath and walked through door number one, wondering what was on the other side.
A/N I know, lame place to stop, but I don't feel like writing any more today. Sorry if this was a bit crappified. And sorry for the long delay in it being posted. And I'm also deeply sorry to those people who like Westlife and who feel offended by the content of this story. It's just that I'm peed off that they got to number one over Shaggy, so I thought I'd take it out on this poor unsuspecting fic. Once again I'm sorry to all those poor people who actually like Westlife. Okay, now for all the disclaimer rubbish:
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Harry Potter Books, though I wish I did. I don't own Westlife or Uptown Girl and I'm glad I don't. I don't own Whole Again by Atomic Kitten, Wild Thing by The Troggs or Caught Out There by Kelis. I don't own Druckers or Sutton Town Centre.
Claimer: I own James-Frog and Dr Slater. Henna is based on me. Rosie is based on a friend. I belong to myself and Rosie (who isn't called Rosie in real life) belongs to herself.
Friendship, fidelity, faith