Can of Peanuts

A/N: The OLS crew hasn't had a job in a while, and are almost on the brink of starvation. They discover a can of Planter's Peanuts in the cargo hold...who gets it? Don't flame me for the stupid plot, please. ^_____^ I'm avoiding Math homework.

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Jobs were short, days were long, and in teenage terms, everyone was pissed off. Jim doodled on the corner of a newspaper Gene was reading, Suzuka was, of course, calmly sipping tea, Melfina was sitting across from her hoping for someone to say something, and Aisha was playing her game. The sound of "I want you! I love you! I need you!" coming from the handheld game drifted across the room as Aisha rejected every single one of them. Suddenly above all of the noise of the game, a low rumble was heard, as Gene put his hand on his stomach.

"Lord, I'm hungry." Gene groaned.

Jim shot up out of his chair and banged his fist on the table. "Well if we're all so hungry, why are we SITTING AROUND AND NOT LOOKING FOR JOBS?!" Everyone stared at Jim. They all knew he was serious, but they never expected him to do something like THAT. Jim scowled, "I'm going to the cargo hold..." he mumbled, and took his tiny computer with him.

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When Jim arrived in the cargo hold, he was even a bit more mad because everything was so cluttered and he had nowhere to sit. His plan was to get down there and cool off trying to find a job. If he had to clean up in order to be comfy...no way he was going to do that...He thought he saw a patch of floor in the corner that was somewhat agreeable, so he went and sat himself down. But no sooner than he sat down and TRIED to open up his mini-laptop - "OW!" Jim jumped up and stared wildly down at where he just sat. Expecting to see something like a mad, rabid, rat that just bit his butt, he looked down to a now slightly dented can of Planter's Peanuts. Jim's ticked off expression turned to that of a blessed one, as he thanked the heavens that they had sent a savior for his troubled stomach.

"Hey, Jim, are you okay?" Jim looked up to see the entire crew standing there looking at him. "We heard a yelp," Suzuka said, "so we came to see if you were okay." Thoughts raced through Jim's mind as he quickly snatched the can of peanuts and hid them behind his back.

"Oh yeah guys, everything's fine!" he grinned painfully, trying to get them to leave him and his heaven-sent peanuts in peace.

"Hey, is something fishy going on?" Gene questioned, quirking an eyebrow. "Are you stoned or something?" Everyone stared silently at Gene as to where he would get an idea like that, while all Gene did was shrug. "I know a weird feeling when I get one...and I've got a weird feeling. Jim, what're you hiding?" Jim protested and shook his head, insisting he didn't have anything, although it was quite obvious it was the opposite. Suddenly, Aisha smelled something.

"Jim...what are you hiding behind your back?", she asked suspiciously. Jim smiled like nothing was wrong, but as if almost on reflex, Gene and Aisha tackled Jim trying to pry his hands into view to see what he had. After a few minutes of struggling, and many sweatdrops from Suzuka and Melfina, the fight was over and Gene stood dominantly with the peanuts in his hand.

"You were just going to EAT these without offering any to your starving crewmates?" Gene asked. " You weren't even going to TELL US about them!? Why, if I had found them, I would have..."

"Eaten them all in a minute." Jim finished, snickering. Gene glared.

"You leave us no choice Jim." Gene stated. "We will have to..." he paused dramatically, "DIVIDE THE PEANUTS!"

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The members of the OLS crew sat around a table with the can of peanuts in the middle. They all looked at each other, then Gene slowly reached toward the can and began to divide them. "Okay...one for me, one for you." he said giving each crew member one peanut each. He then said "Two for me, two for you." Giving himself two peanuts and everybody else one. This went on for a while, and nobody noticed much because themselves starving were staring at their own peanuts rather than Gene's extraordinary large pile. Then Suzuka, looking up said,

"Hey, Gene, you aren't counting them right!"

"Yeah," Jim and Aisha chimed in, "You trying to cheat us or something!?" In fear of getting beaten up, Gene nervously poured all the peanuts back into the can and began to count all over again. This time he was being fair about it and gave everyone an equal amount. Everyone seemed to be getting along in the Outlaw Star. No wonder, the McDougall Brothers found it the perfect time to perform a sneak attack. Their ship collided with the Outlaw Star, and the peanuts that were so far equally divided on the table all rolled around, mixing together, luckily only a few falling on the clean floor of the ship.

Gene immediately got on the radio. "Hey, thanks a lot McDougall, you got the peanuts ALL MIXED UP!" Harry and Ron McDougall, in which receiving this message, decided this wasn't the time to go into combat, whatever was going on in the Outlaw Star, and turned their ship to RAISE SOME HECK elsewhere! (A/N: BOO YA! RAISIN' HECK!) Gene grinned at making them go away and, hopefully for the last time, began to divide the peanuts.

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Jim sighed happily as Gene nearly finished equally dividing the peanuts, and he looked at all the neat, equal piles on the table. The can was empty, or so everyone thought, when Gene pulled out one last peanut. An uneven number. Jim better start praying again...