***Misted Reality: Part 2***
Ask anyone. They'll all tell you the same thing. Don't take your dreams seriously. After all, it's not as if they're real. They're just a product of your subconscious trying to have a good time while you're asleep. You shouldn't take them to heart. It's a waste of time.
Why then, did Seifer's nightmares scare the living Hell out of him?
Seifer Almasy walked anxiously towards the cafeteria to join his friends for breakfast. Since it had been another fun filled night, he was running a little late, and looked like he had just gotten out of bed. Actually, that wasn't too far from the truth. After waking up from his less than desirable dream the night before, Seifer just hadn't been able to get back to sleep. Visions of his horrid acts continued to flash through his mind. The entire notion of it all haunted him. Killing his friends? Killing innocent people? And...........enjoying it? No. That wasn't Seifer. It wasn't. It was all just a dream. Just a damn nightmare. It could never be real. At least, that's what Seifer had been trying to tell himself ever since he'd woken up.
"Hey, Seifer! You better hurry up before Zell eats all the scrambled eggs!" Selphie called. She was sitting on Irvine's lap, picking at his plate of food. She never seemed to order anything of her own, but that certainly didn't stop her from a getting a good meal.
"Scrambled eggs? He could eat us out of house and home!" Seifer laughed in reply.
Zell, who had a mouth full of food at the time, had to swallow before he could respond.
"Ha ha. So what if I have a healthy appetite? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know?"
Those around the table laughed at Zell's comment, and Seifer took his seat between Quistis and Squall. Rinoa was there as well, seated on the other side of Squall, and they were all enjoying their own forms of breakfast. Quistis had toast and a glass of water, Rinoa had a rather large cinnamon roll, Squall had his coffee, Irvine and Selphie were sharing a plate of waffles and sausage links, and Zell had scrambled eggs.........along with just about everything else. Like Squall, Seifer really wasn't much of a breakfast person, so he ordered his usual: coffee, black, plain and simple.
"You alright?" Quistis whispered, leaning over to Seifer. "You seem a bit.....frazzled."
Seifer self-consciously ran a hand through his blonde hair. (I bet I look like Hell....) he thought shamefully.
"Uhh.....yeah. I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night, that's all,"
Quistis looked at him worriedly, but returned to her breakfast. Seifer stared into his coffee cup as he brought it up to his lips.
"Damn you, Seifer!"
**Flash**
/ "Damn you, Seifer!" Zell cried, and Seifer could feel the hatred and fear emanating from his supposed friend, nearly blinding him with its intensity. He was back within that horrid dream for a split second, staring into Zell's frightened, blue eyes as he backed away from him in fear for his life./
**Flash**
Seifer gasped as the vision faded, bringing him back to the cafeteria, and he nearly spilled his coffee onto the table.
"Wha.....what?" he stuttered, looking over at Zell across from him at the table.
"Damn you, that's what," Zell replied with a goofy grin. "Quistis was showing off the results of your SeeD test, you know, and dangit if you didn't blow *my* scores out of the water,"
Seifer laughed nervously. (I gotta stop being so jumpy)
"Well," Seifer stated, composing himself. "It's not like it was that hard to do,"
Everyone laughed. Well....everyone except Zell.
"Real funny," Zell grumbled sarcastically. "Just don't be gettin' no big head about it,"
Seifer had finally completed and passed his SeeD exam only a few days before, and they were all very proud of him, especially Quistis. She'd stuck by him from beginning to end.
Seifer smirked at Zell's last comment. Imagine it; Seifer Almasy getting a big head? Like *that* could ever happen. :-)
Seifer put down his coffee cup, fingering the handle.
"Irvy!!"
**Flash**
/ "Irvy!!" Seifer heard Selphie scream as she ran towards him. He stared at her, confused at first, until he looked down to find Irvine bleeding and dying in his arms, and then dropped him with the shock of it. He was in the dream again......../
**Flash**
This time Seifer did knock over his coffee cup, spilling its contents onto the table. He stared at the mess with stricken features, unable to move.
"Irvy!!" Selphie cried again. "Urrg! Irvine Kinneas! I'm warning you!"
Selphie was desperately trying to reach for the last sausage link as Irvine dangled it with his fork just above her head. They were just doing a little friendly teasing, that's all. The others were getting such a kick out of it, that Quistis and Squall were the only one's to notice Seifer's mishap.
"Seifer....?" Squall whispered, touching his hand to Seifer's shoulder. "Are you ok?"
Seifer could only tremble, trying to clear his head.
"Seifer....."
**Flash**
/ "Seifer........" Quistis' voice called hauntingly. "Oh, Seifer. Why?"/
/Seifer turned to her, seeing those pained azure eyes looking back at him unbearably. His gunblade was in his hand, bloody and deadly, having just taken care of Squall. Seifer could feel the urge in him to do the same to Quistis. He wanted to kill her......../
**Flash**
"......no......" Seifer breathed. "NO!!" He sprung up from his chair, knocking it over backwards. The others all stared at him in shock and concern.
Quistis stood up, placing her hands on Seifer's shoulders to soothe him. He was visibly shaking and staring blindly at the floor.
"Seifer, what is it? What's wrong?"
Seifer slowly lifted his head to look at her. He was so frightened, so terribly frightened of........himself.
"....I......I don't.....I can't explain......I just........I......." He couldn't get it out. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. He just felt so lost.
"Come on," Quistis urged. "I have to get to my first period class. Walk me there?"
Seifer cherished Quistis so much for her understanding. She knew how he hated to appear weak in front of others. He just needed to get away.
".......yeah," he whispered softly. "Let's go," He turned and started for the door, with Quistis rushing after him.
"See you all later!" she called, trying her hardest not to sound as worried and desperate as she felt.
The others were left with many unanswered questions as their friends disappeared through the door.
------------
"Seifer, what was with you back there?" Quistis demanded, tugging on his arm for him to slow his pace.
"It......it was nothing," Seifer lied, pulling his arm away as they entered the elevator. He pushed the button for the second floor. "I'm just tired.......shaken,"
Quistis looked to him desperately, sensing his apprehension to tell her the truth. He couldn't even look at her.
"You had another one of those dreams, didn't you?" she stated knowingly.
Seifer cringed, escaping the elevator as it landed on the second floor.
"Seifer, please," Quistis pushed, following him down the hallway. "Don't push me away. Talk to me about this. Tell me what you see in those nightmares of yours...."
"No!" Seifer snapped, whirling around to face her. "You wanna know what's been haunting me? What makes me such a monster? You have no idea........you......you'd never look at me the same if you knew......." Seifer clenched his eyes closed, falling back against the wall.
"How can you think that?" Quistis asked, hurt by his words. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. You can always talk to me, about anything," She reached out a gentle hand to stroke his face. Seifer gasped slightly from her touch, lifting his own hand up to hers. He didn't open his eyes.
".......I'm sorry. It's just so horrible......those dreams......the things I do......."
"Tell me," Quistis pleaded, stepping closer to him. Seifer lowered Quistis' hand to his chest, holding it close to his heart, still with his eyes closed.
".....I'm....not.....myself in the dreams," Seifer began with much difficulty. "I'm *me*, but I'm so different,"
It was difficult for Seifer to tell Quistis all of this. He didn't want anyone to think of him as that monster from his dreams, especially not Quistis.
"I'm a million times worse than the traitor I was before," Seifer continued. "I'm a killer. I go around slaughtering innocent people, children even, and all of *you* have to try and stop me! But......." he swallowed hard. ".......you can't. I kill all of you, too..........and I enjoy it. I love it. I......" Seifer choked down the tears he stubbornly was fighting to let fall. He let go of Quistis' hand and felt her carefully pull it away from him.
(She hates me now......)
"Open your eyes, Seifer," Quistis called. "Look at me!"
Seifer slowly opened them, but was too afraid to look at her. She grabbed hold of his shoulders, forcing him to do just that.
"Listen to me! They're only dreams, Seifer. They're not real," she stated forcefully. "Whoever it is in your dreams that's killing us, it isn't really you. You are wonderful, and caring, and compassionate. You're not a killer,"
She pulled Seifer to her, wrapping her arms tightly around his waste. He wanted so much to just melt into those arms, but......
"It's worse than you think," Seifer whispered, pushing her away. "Just now, in the cafeteria, I kept getting these flashes from the dream I had last night. It was like I was right there again. It was *so* real, and.......I wasn't just some villain in a dream, I was me! I was me........and I *still* wanted to kill you......."
Seifer hated what he saw in Quistis' eyes now as he looked at her. They were filled with confusion and pain, and he kept expecting them to fill with disgust and revulsion at any minute. But......they didn't.
"Don't you understand? Don't you see?" she questioned fiercely, grasping him by the shoulders again. "The fact that this hurts you so much, that you hate who you are in those dreams so much, proves that it isn't really you."
They were interrupted by the sound of the 5 minute warning chimes clanging over the intercom. It was almost time for class.
Quistis looked up at the familiar sound and grimaced. She didn't want to leave Seifer now.
"Dammit," she cursed under her breath. "I have to go. Are you alright? Are you going to be ok?"
Seifer took a deep breath, mustering a smile from her support.
"..I....I'm fine. Really," he replied, meaning it more now than he had all morning. "I just need to get my mind off of those dreams. Don't worry about me. Just have a good morning, and I'll see you at lunch. Ok?" He bent down and kissed her softly on the cheek. She smiled, reaching up to stroke his face again.
"Ok," she answered. "I love you, you know that?"
"I know," he grinned back at her. "I love you," He bent down again, this time kissing her on the lips. After reluctantly pulling away, Quistis turned to continue down the hall, and disappeared into her class room.
Seifer sighed deeply, heading back to the elevator.
(I'm not gonna think about it) he thought to himself. (They're just dreams. Just.......dreams) he stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for the first floor. (Tonight, I'm gonna have a peaceful, good night sleep. Simple as that.........yeah.......) The door to the elevator closed in front of him, leaving him with his hopes for freedom.
He had no idea what was in store for him.........
**********
Ask anyone. They'll all tell you the same thing. Don't take your dreams seriously. After all, it's not as if they're real. They're just a product of your subconscious trying to have a good time while you're asleep. You shouldn't take them to heart. It's a waste of time.
Why then, did Seifer's nightmares scare the living Hell out of him?
Seifer Almasy walked anxiously towards the cafeteria to join his friends for breakfast. Since it had been another fun filled night, he was running a little late, and looked like he had just gotten out of bed. Actually, that wasn't too far from the truth. After waking up from his less than desirable dream the night before, Seifer just hadn't been able to get back to sleep. Visions of his horrid acts continued to flash through his mind. The entire notion of it all haunted him. Killing his friends? Killing innocent people? And...........enjoying it? No. That wasn't Seifer. It wasn't. It was all just a dream. Just a damn nightmare. It could never be real. At least, that's what Seifer had been trying to tell himself ever since he'd woken up.
"Hey, Seifer! You better hurry up before Zell eats all the scrambled eggs!" Selphie called. She was sitting on Irvine's lap, picking at his plate of food. She never seemed to order anything of her own, but that certainly didn't stop her from a getting a good meal.
"Scrambled eggs? He could eat us out of house and home!" Seifer laughed in reply.
Zell, who had a mouth full of food at the time, had to swallow before he could respond.
"Ha ha. So what if I have a healthy appetite? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know?"
Those around the table laughed at Zell's comment, and Seifer took his seat between Quistis and Squall. Rinoa was there as well, seated on the other side of Squall, and they were all enjoying their own forms of breakfast. Quistis had toast and a glass of water, Rinoa had a rather large cinnamon roll, Squall had his coffee, Irvine and Selphie were sharing a plate of waffles and sausage links, and Zell had scrambled eggs.........along with just about everything else. Like Squall, Seifer really wasn't much of a breakfast person, so he ordered his usual: coffee, black, plain and simple.
"You alright?" Quistis whispered, leaning over to Seifer. "You seem a bit.....frazzled."
Seifer self-consciously ran a hand through his blonde hair. (I bet I look like Hell....) he thought shamefully.
"Uhh.....yeah. I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night, that's all,"
Quistis looked at him worriedly, but returned to her breakfast. Seifer stared into his coffee cup as he brought it up to his lips.
"Damn you, Seifer!"
**Flash**
/ "Damn you, Seifer!" Zell cried, and Seifer could feel the hatred and fear emanating from his supposed friend, nearly blinding him with its intensity. He was back within that horrid dream for a split second, staring into Zell's frightened, blue eyes as he backed away from him in fear for his life./
**Flash**
Seifer gasped as the vision faded, bringing him back to the cafeteria, and he nearly spilled his coffee onto the table.
"Wha.....what?" he stuttered, looking over at Zell across from him at the table.
"Damn you, that's what," Zell replied with a goofy grin. "Quistis was showing off the results of your SeeD test, you know, and dangit if you didn't blow *my* scores out of the water,"
Seifer laughed nervously. (I gotta stop being so jumpy)
"Well," Seifer stated, composing himself. "It's not like it was that hard to do,"
Everyone laughed. Well....everyone except Zell.
"Real funny," Zell grumbled sarcastically. "Just don't be gettin' no big head about it,"
Seifer had finally completed and passed his SeeD exam only a few days before, and they were all very proud of him, especially Quistis. She'd stuck by him from beginning to end.
Seifer smirked at Zell's last comment. Imagine it; Seifer Almasy getting a big head? Like *that* could ever happen. :-)
Seifer put down his coffee cup, fingering the handle.
"Irvy!!"
**Flash**
/ "Irvy!!" Seifer heard Selphie scream as she ran towards him. He stared at her, confused at first, until he looked down to find Irvine bleeding and dying in his arms, and then dropped him with the shock of it. He was in the dream again......../
**Flash**
This time Seifer did knock over his coffee cup, spilling its contents onto the table. He stared at the mess with stricken features, unable to move.
"Irvy!!" Selphie cried again. "Urrg! Irvine Kinneas! I'm warning you!"
Selphie was desperately trying to reach for the last sausage link as Irvine dangled it with his fork just above her head. They were just doing a little friendly teasing, that's all. The others were getting such a kick out of it, that Quistis and Squall were the only one's to notice Seifer's mishap.
"Seifer....?" Squall whispered, touching his hand to Seifer's shoulder. "Are you ok?"
Seifer could only tremble, trying to clear his head.
"Seifer....."
**Flash**
/ "Seifer........" Quistis' voice called hauntingly. "Oh, Seifer. Why?"/
/Seifer turned to her, seeing those pained azure eyes looking back at him unbearably. His gunblade was in his hand, bloody and deadly, having just taken care of Squall. Seifer could feel the urge in him to do the same to Quistis. He wanted to kill her......../
**Flash**
"......no......" Seifer breathed. "NO!!" He sprung up from his chair, knocking it over backwards. The others all stared at him in shock and concern.
Quistis stood up, placing her hands on Seifer's shoulders to soothe him. He was visibly shaking and staring blindly at the floor.
"Seifer, what is it? What's wrong?"
Seifer slowly lifted his head to look at her. He was so frightened, so terribly frightened of........himself.
"....I......I don't.....I can't explain......I just........I......." He couldn't get it out. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. He just felt so lost.
"Come on," Quistis urged. "I have to get to my first period class. Walk me there?"
Seifer cherished Quistis so much for her understanding. She knew how he hated to appear weak in front of others. He just needed to get away.
".......yeah," he whispered softly. "Let's go," He turned and started for the door, with Quistis rushing after him.
"See you all later!" she called, trying her hardest not to sound as worried and desperate as she felt.
The others were left with many unanswered questions as their friends disappeared through the door.
------------
"Seifer, what was with you back there?" Quistis demanded, tugging on his arm for him to slow his pace.
"It......it was nothing," Seifer lied, pulling his arm away as they entered the elevator. He pushed the button for the second floor. "I'm just tired.......shaken,"
Quistis looked to him desperately, sensing his apprehension to tell her the truth. He couldn't even look at her.
"You had another one of those dreams, didn't you?" she stated knowingly.
Seifer cringed, escaping the elevator as it landed on the second floor.
"Seifer, please," Quistis pushed, following him down the hallway. "Don't push me away. Talk to me about this. Tell me what you see in those nightmares of yours...."
"No!" Seifer snapped, whirling around to face her. "You wanna know what's been haunting me? What makes me such a monster? You have no idea........you......you'd never look at me the same if you knew......." Seifer clenched his eyes closed, falling back against the wall.
"How can you think that?" Quistis asked, hurt by his words. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. You can always talk to me, about anything," She reached out a gentle hand to stroke his face. Seifer gasped slightly from her touch, lifting his own hand up to hers. He didn't open his eyes.
".......I'm sorry. It's just so horrible......those dreams......the things I do......."
"Tell me," Quistis pleaded, stepping closer to him. Seifer lowered Quistis' hand to his chest, holding it close to his heart, still with his eyes closed.
".....I'm....not.....myself in the dreams," Seifer began with much difficulty. "I'm *me*, but I'm so different,"
It was difficult for Seifer to tell Quistis all of this. He didn't want anyone to think of him as that monster from his dreams, especially not Quistis.
"I'm a million times worse than the traitor I was before," Seifer continued. "I'm a killer. I go around slaughtering innocent people, children even, and all of *you* have to try and stop me! But......." he swallowed hard. ".......you can't. I kill all of you, too..........and I enjoy it. I love it. I......" Seifer choked down the tears he stubbornly was fighting to let fall. He let go of Quistis' hand and felt her carefully pull it away from him.
(She hates me now......)
"Open your eyes, Seifer," Quistis called. "Look at me!"
Seifer slowly opened them, but was too afraid to look at her. She grabbed hold of his shoulders, forcing him to do just that.
"Listen to me! They're only dreams, Seifer. They're not real," she stated forcefully. "Whoever it is in your dreams that's killing us, it isn't really you. You are wonderful, and caring, and compassionate. You're not a killer,"
She pulled Seifer to her, wrapping her arms tightly around his waste. He wanted so much to just melt into those arms, but......
"It's worse than you think," Seifer whispered, pushing her away. "Just now, in the cafeteria, I kept getting these flashes from the dream I had last night. It was like I was right there again. It was *so* real, and.......I wasn't just some villain in a dream, I was me! I was me........and I *still* wanted to kill you......."
Seifer hated what he saw in Quistis' eyes now as he looked at her. They were filled with confusion and pain, and he kept expecting them to fill with disgust and revulsion at any minute. But......they didn't.
"Don't you understand? Don't you see?" she questioned fiercely, grasping him by the shoulders again. "The fact that this hurts you so much, that you hate who you are in those dreams so much, proves that it isn't really you."
They were interrupted by the sound of the 5 minute warning chimes clanging over the intercom. It was almost time for class.
Quistis looked up at the familiar sound and grimaced. She didn't want to leave Seifer now.
"Dammit," she cursed under her breath. "I have to go. Are you alright? Are you going to be ok?"
Seifer took a deep breath, mustering a smile from her support.
"..I....I'm fine. Really," he replied, meaning it more now than he had all morning. "I just need to get my mind off of those dreams. Don't worry about me. Just have a good morning, and I'll see you at lunch. Ok?" He bent down and kissed her softly on the cheek. She smiled, reaching up to stroke his face again.
"Ok," she answered. "I love you, you know that?"
"I know," he grinned back at her. "I love you," He bent down again, this time kissing her on the lips. After reluctantly pulling away, Quistis turned to continue down the hall, and disappeared into her class room.
Seifer sighed deeply, heading back to the elevator.
(I'm not gonna think about it) he thought to himself. (They're just dreams. Just.......dreams) he stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for the first floor. (Tonight, I'm gonna have a peaceful, good night sleep. Simple as that.........yeah.......) The door to the elevator closed in front of him, leaving him with his hopes for freedom.
He had no idea what was in store for him.........
**********