***Misted Reality: Part 7***
Waiting. What ceaseless wonders pass through a person's mind while waiting for an event or action that may never come. Of course, the person waiting may consider such wonders a million times better than actually having to face that event or action which they're waiting for........especially if they happen to be Zell Dincht, waiting outside the dorm room of a frighteningly disturbed Seifer Almasy.
"Damn man!" Zell grumbled to himself, hoping from foot to foot as he shadow-boxed clumsily outside the room he was guarding. "How long they gonna make me stay here? I can't stand this!"
A sudden crash coming from inside Seifer's room caused Zell to pause mid-punch. Every so often his thoughts would be interrupted by some strange shuffling or noise sounding from behind the wall. But, everytime he called through the steel to ask what had happened, he'd get no reply. Zell was certain Seifer was alright......in most sense of the word anyway, but it still bothered him to be left wondering.
"Seifer.....you ok in there?" Zell called, stepping right beside the cold, metal door.
No answer.
"I know Rinoa's a helluva lot better at this stuff than I am......" he continued. "...but you can talk to me, too, you know? I mean, we're friends, right? I'm on your side...."
(....I think....)
Another crash echoed through the wall, louder than the last. Zell was really worried by now; so much had happened in the past few days. At first, everyone had been taken by complete surprise by the sudden murders. Some of the other students even pointed fingers at Seifer immediately, since it had been a gunblade used as the murder weapon. Of course, no one from the team would even think of letting those rumors reach Seifer. They knew he would never do anything......like.....that. But......he had. Seifer *was* the killer. There was no getting around it; it was the truth. And Zell hated it. He may not have as much faith in Seifer as Rinoa, but he certainly wasn't going to turn his back on Seifer completely as Squall had. Zell Dincht did not abandon his friends. Not even ones that used to call him Chicken-Wuss.
"Please, Seifer," Zell tried again. "Don't shut us out, man. Talk to me...."
Zell waited a moment for a reply, but when none came he discouragingly returned to his recent assault on the air. After only a few punches, however, Zell was stopped once again by a noise coming from inside Seifer's dorm. Only this time, it was a voice.
"Help!" Zell heard Seifer call out. "Zell, help me! Hurry!"
Zell's bodied stiffened with fear. "What is it, Seifer? What's wrong?" he yelled back, too afraid to simply go busting on inside. Squall had checked back not long after Rinoa's departure, and had left strict instructions that Zell was *not* to go back inside that room alone. Zell did have to admit that he hadn't minded the order all that much. A part of him was terrified of who.....or what.....might be behind that door.
"Help, Zell!" Seifer cried again, offering no more of an explanation than his straining voice. "Help me! Please!"
Zell could clearly hear the desperation in the former knight's tone, presenting him with a very difficult decision. Go in, help Seifer, get out. Stay, pray nothing's really wrong, remain safe. Stay, something is really wrong, and you hate yourself for the rest of your life. Go in, get mutilated by Seifer, and then miss out on that upcoming hotdog eating contest you just *know* you're going to win at the next Balamb carnival. *Sigh* What a dilemma.
(Damn....) Zell cursed to himself. (...well....I can't just stand here!)
"Alright, man, I'm comin' in!" Zell decided finally, preceding to punch the override unlock code into the key panel by the door. Zell was certain he was making the right decision, until.....
The door opened before Zell, and as he took that initial, unthinking step inside, he was met by the business end of a revolver. The gun was being held in the steady hand of a stern faced Seifer Almasy, standing only a few feet from him.
"Shit...." Zell breathed, paralyzed in place.
Seifer grinned wickedly. "Zell...." he purred. "I was hoping you'd help me make sure this thing worked properly. Care to find out.....?" He smiled devilishly at the wide eyed boy in front of him, preparing the gun to fire.
Zell stood frozen for a dangerously long time, blankly watching what seemed to happen in slow motion as Seifer began to pull back on the trigger.....
Bang.
A bullet wedged itself in the wall across from Seifer's dorm, having just barely missed Zell as he dashed at the last second to the side. Hitting the ground hard, Zell frantically recovered himself, reaching up on his knees to punch at the key panel.
"Lock, lock, lock, lock, lock!" Zell cried, miraculously punching in the right code, causing the door to close rapidly beside him. Zell flinched at the sound of Seifer crashing into the other side of the door.
"Let me out, you worthless fuck!" Seifer bellowed through the steel. He was kicking and slamming on the door in a blind rage. "I'll do more than shoot you when I get out of here! You hear me, Chicken-Wuss?!"
Zell fell back away from the door, scrambling to get away as he scooted himself along the floor to reach the safety of the opposite wall. He'd never been so frightened. All he could do was breathe, and even that proved difficult.
Seifer's curses and resounding pounds against the door continued for some time. They rose and rose in intensity, until.......they unexpectedly stopped, like Seifer had become a video tape put on pause.
Zell's gasps for breath calmed as the stillness droned on, making one wonder if there had ever been a threat at all. Zell inched hesitantly forward, straining to hear any sound he might make out from inside the room. But, it had grown completely silent. Eerily silent.
(...what the hell....?) Zell thought, trembling slightly as he got to his feet. (He hit his head too hard ramming into that door, or what?)
Zell took a faltering step forward, listening intently for any signs of life. As he listened, he soon realized that he could here something, though very faint. Stepping closer to the door, Zell tentatively pressed his ear against the cold metal. There was no mistaking the sound now, Zell realized. Someone was crying. Seifer.......Seifer was crying.....
".....Ze....Zell......" a quivering and strangely small voice called from just behind the door. "......Zell.....are you ok....? I didn't.....hit you, did I....? Please....tell me I didn't...."
Zell pulled his ear away from the door, looking from side to side and then back at the door in front of him quizzically.
"....Zell...." Seifer called again, more urgently. "....God....Zell....please say you're ok......please......"
Frozen outside Seifer's door, Zell couldn't believe his ears. How could Seifer truthfully go from being some twisted psychopath ready to blow Zell's brains out, to a whimpering, little boy concerned for his friend's safety? It didn't seem possible.
(Is he kidding....?) Zell wondered, scratching the back of his head in thought. (I don't like this, but.......guess I better answer him.....)
"Uhhh......I'm......fine, Seifer," Zell mumbled, confused about the odd situation. "You....didn't hit me. The bullet went in the wall."
An audible sigh of relief was clearly heard from the other side of the door, and something that could've been, "....thank God...."
(Am I dreaming, or somethin'....?) Zell thought, placing a slightly shaky hand on the door frame. (This is all totally screwed up............unless......)
"Hey, Seifer.....?" Zell questioned, his forehead wrinkling with accusing wonder.
".....yeah.....?" a pitiful voice answered him.
"You just tryin' to trick me, or what?" he demanded cautiously. "Cuz this whole personality, mood swing thing is kinda hard to buy. Know what I mean? I wanna believe ya, it's just......"
"I know what you're saying, Zell," Seifer interrupted.
Zell was beginning to notice that Seifer's voice seemed to be coming from about half way down the door, closer to the ground. He must have been sitting with his back up against it.
"....why should you trust me......after all I did.....?" Seifer continued. "But, I swear it's me right now.....the real me. Those times when I......act all....crazy......it's like I'm someone else.......I can't explain....." He sounded so suffering and sincere, it would have pained anyone to hear him.
Zell's look of accusation turned to one of utter sympathy in a second. Whether it was foolish or not, whether it was just some damned trick or not, he couldn't help but feel sorry for his friend. As far as Zell was concerned, Seifer was not the one who had killed those people. He was not the one who had attacked Quistis. Whatever monster had found its way inside of Seifer, that was the killer. The monster, not the man.
"I believe ya, Seifer," Zell stated kindly. "You just gotta have faith, ok? We'll figure this all out, and......"
"How can I have faith in anything after what I've done!?!" Seifer screamed suddenly, slamming a fist into the door. The loud bang made Zell cringe, and he flinched his hand away from the door frame.
".....you may believe me.......when I say it doesn't *feel* like I'm.....myself when I........" Seifer paused, shaking the thought away. "....but.....that doesn't change what I've done. Maybe *you* have faith in me, but......I'm still......a killer......"
"No..." Zell breathed, placing both hands back against the door, to feel as close as he could to being in there with Seifer. "You're not a killer, Seifer......you're just.....messed up somehow. It's not your fault. I mean, you just tried to shoot me and I'm still on your side. Doesn't that tell ya anything?" Zell smiled a little, hoping his comment might get a laugh, or something out of Seifer.
"......it tells me I've got a really good friend....." Seifer replied, sad and serious. ".....one I don't deserve......"
"Don't say that. You...."
"No, Zell...." Seifer cut in. "...I don't deserve anything. I.....I've killed people...Zell......I ran my gunblade....through Quistis' body......Quistis.......my Quisty.......I tried to kill her, Zell......"
Zell could hear the strain in Seifer's voice. He could almost feel the tears streaming down his friend's face. No....wait.....those were his own tears.
"Stop it....Seifer.....please....don't...." Zell tried, his voice breaking as he spoke.
"......that's all I want, Zell......to stop....." Seifer replied. "......I just want to stop myself....so I can't hurt anyone.....ever again......"
Zell heard the sound of metal dragging across a wooden floor. He stiffened, unbelievably worried by what Seifer seemed to be saying, and by that odd sound......
"Seifer....."
"I have to stop myself....Zell...." Seifer said, barely above a whisper. "I've tried to beat this.....to fight it......but I can't. I can't let myself hurt anyone else, Zell....and *this* is the only to be sure I won't......."
Zell's heart stopped. (....Oh, god.....) his mind cried. (...please no....no, no, no, no, no!)
"Seifer, what are ya sayin', man?" Zell asked frantically. He'd noticed that Seifer's voice hadn't come from closer to the ground like before, but higher, like he was standing. On his feet to face his fate.
".....I'm sorry, Zell.....I have to do this....." Seifer's voice answered him.
Zell couldn't breathe. "Seifer....what are ya doing, man? What are ya talkin' about?!" he practically screamed through the door. His palms were sweating as they pressed into the metal. He wanted to go busting right in there like he had before, but considering how *that* had turned out, he couldn't help but be a little more skeptical this time.
".....tell everyone....I'm sorry, Zell......" Seifer sniffled. The cocking of a gun was heard sounding through the wall. ".....tell Quisty I love her........I love her *so* much......."
Zell's mind was racing, panicking, struggling for an answer to a course of action.
(Shit, shit, shit.......what do I do?!) Zell's mind screamed. (What if I go in and it's just another trick? What if I don't and he......oh, shit! I gotta do something!)
Taking a deep breath to gain courage, Zell punched in the unlock code, determination settling over his features.
(I'm gonna regret this......)
As before, the door parted in front of Zell, and taking that first step inside.........he saw Seifer, standing a few feet away. The same gun was in his hand, but with his eyes clenched shut, Seifer wasn't pointing it at Zell, but had it pressed to his own temple.
"Seifer! No!" Zell cried, leaping towards his friend. Seifer's eyes shot open just as Zell tackled him to the ground, sending the gun flying from his hand. They landed roughly, with Zell practically on top of Seifer as they hit the ground. As soon as the initial impact wore off, Seifer pushed Zell forcefully off of him, sitting up as he cast Zell a very angry, tear-filled glare.
"Why did you do that?!" he screamed at the smaller, young man. "Don't you know what I've done?! Don't you understand......I'm a killer.....a monster.......a murderer......"
Seifer collapsed into his hands through his words, sobbing in agony.
Zell lifted himself from the ground, rubbing his back painfully. He didn't generally make contact with the ground that many times in one night.
Registering what Seifer had said, Zell closed the gap between them with a step, overcome with a million emotions himself by the sight of Seifer crying. It seemed almost surreal to Zell.
"Seifer......" Zell began, crouching down beside the fallen knight. "I understand you're goin' through hell here, but.......killing yourself is *not* the answer!"
Seifer lifted his head from his hands to look at Zell there beside him. His face was red and streaked with tears, and the pain behind his eyes could've withered a rose.
"....how can you understand....?" Seifer breathed, narrowing his gaze. ".....you're not the one who.......God......" Seifer's eyes seemed to unfocus as he remembered, shaking his head slowly at the guilt he felt. "I kept dismissing those dreams like they were nothing........but they......there was something more to them.....something I wasn't willing to see......."
"Dreams.....?" Zell wondered out loud. "What dreams, Seifer?"
"......that's how it all started....." Seifer answered him vacantly. ".....I kept having these dreams where I'd.......kill people......I'd......I'd slaughter innocent people.......sometimes I'd even be killing all of you......" Seifer looked up at Zell again with those words, making Zell's eyes widen a little fearfully. "......when I killed Ashton and the others......it felt like it was just another one of those dreams.......like it wasn't real........but.......it was......I did kill him.....I hurt Quisty......I......killed those children....."
Zell stared on helpless as Seifer retold his horrors, hating the pain emanating from his friend, hating what had happened and how hopeless everything felt.
".....they were just kids...Zell....." Seifer continued, turning his head to stare blankly forward. "....just little kids......and.....and they were so scared....screaming.....not understanding why I wouldn't stop when they begged me to......why I'd laugh right in their faces.......why I loved hurting them....." Eyes closing at the memory, new tears fell streaking down Seifer's cheeks. ".....I loved it.....I *did* love hurting them.....how could I......how could I be so fucking heartless!"
Zell flinched at the fury in Seifer's final phrase, watching as the former knight drowned more and more into his tears. It was one of the oddest and most heart-breaking sights he'd ever seen.
Inching closer to Seifer, Zell reached out a trembling hand, placing it tenderly on Seifer's shoulder. Seifer looked over at him, at that gentle hand, and seemed like he was about to say something more, when suddenly.......
"AHHH!" Seifer cried out, clutching his hands to his head. He began breathing heavily, moaning with pain.
Zell's hand pulled away from Seifer in fear, not understanding the young man's unexpected anguish.
"Seifer...." Zell began, filled with worry and confusion. "Seifer, what is it? What's wrong!?"
The older SeeD, still grasping his head tightly, could not answer him, but continued to groan in agony. Zell watched on, not sure what he should do, but just when he was about to run for help, Seifer's pain seemed to subside. His breathing slowed once again, and whatever had caused the strange episode appeared to be passing.
"Are you alright?" Zell asked, concerned, as Seifer began to slowly pull his hands away from his recently throbbing head.
Seifer turned towards Zell at the question, his expression blank. Soon, however, that subdued disposition faded to a frightening grin.
"Never better...." Seifer breathed menacingly.
Time paused for an excruciatingly long time, with Seifer and Zell frozen in place as they sat unmoving on the floor. Time does, nevertheless, have to move forward.
Before Zell had time to react, Seifer charged him, lifting the smaller boy from the ground and ramming him back against the wall. Zell could feel himself panicking again, only this time, there was no way out.
"Seifer....please...." Zell tried, his breathing becoming irregular and filled with fear.
"Oooo, are you going to beg?" Seifer sneered back at him, pressing Zell painfully into the wall.
(Not happening.....not happening......) Zell thought, hyperventilating. (He wasn't kidding.......it's like he became someone else in a split second.......unless......was it all just some sick way of tricking me.......?)
"Come now, don't hold me in suspense," Seifer continued with a smirk. "I'd love to hear you grovel, Chicken-Wuss. Hehe. Go on. Beg for your life......"
Zell almost couldn't look Seifer in the eyes, his gaze was so terrifyingly penetrating. He knew he'd have more than a good chance against Seifer if he fought back, but......he couldn't move.
"Please....Seifer.....this isn't you......it can't be...." Zell began, searching for signs of hope, and praying he could at least buy himself some time. "...You were just telling me how much you hated yourself for what you've done......you don't wanna hurt me....."
Seifer threw his head back, letting out a powerful, brutal laugh that froze the blood in Zell's veins. After containing his amusement, Seifer pulled himself closer to Zell, his cheek almost brushing against the younger man's.
"You know what....Zell...." Seifer whispered beside the young, blonde's ear. "I lied....."
Pulling himself away abruptly, Seifer suddenly took one of his arms from holding Zell against the wall, and bringing it back, it suddenly flew forward, hitting Zell fiercely across the face. Seifer let go of the younger SeeD completely then, and Zell fell limply to the floor. He was out cold.
"Idiot...." Seifer said with a cruel smile. His demeanor had completely distorted to that of the killer he'd become.
Trailing his gaze along the floor, Seifer's eyes soon rested on the gun he'd had before, now lying a few feet away. He grinned wider, striding over to the weapon and snatching it from the ground. Stalking back to Zell's fallen form, he cocked the revolver, extending his arm to aim directly at Zell's head.
"I doubt those chicken feathers will save you from this...."
Seifer slid his finger unto the trigger, pulling it back......
"Come on, Squall, don't be so judgmental!" A voice echoed down the hallway. Seifer froze, turning towards the still open door.
"You won't change my mind, Irvine," another voice answered the first. "I'll do what Rinoa asked and tell Seifer that Quistis is going to be fine, but I will *not* take his side!"
Seifer inched towards the door, listening to the approaching voices. They were just around the corner. He glowered at the thought of not getting to finish with his fun; he had to find a way out.
"Listen, Squall, I see where you're coming from, but Seifer's not like that. So like, give him a chance. I'm sure he...."
"Wait...." Squall's voice interrupted. "Where's Zell....?"
They had turned the corner, Seifer was sure of it, and they had to be only a few feet away. Taking his chances, nonetheless, the former knight sprinted from the room, knowing they'd see him and make chase, but risking it anyway.
"He's out! Shit!" Squall cried, racing after the fleeing Seifer without a second thought. "Irvine, check in the room, I'm going after him!" he yelled over his shoulder, wasting no time as he dashed through the hallways of the Dormitory.
Irvine would no doubt discover the unconscious Zell and get help, but as for Squall....well, catching Seifer's one thing, dealing with him is another.
(Why wouldn't they listen to me?!) Squall's mind raced as he ran. He was far enough behind Seifer to loose him for a moment every time they turned a corner. (Imagine what he might have done to Zell........damn him! I'll rip him apart!)
Seifer knew that his former rival was right on his heels, but he wasn't worried one bit. He grinned mischievously, tightening his grip on the gun still in his hand.
(That's it.....come and get me, Squall.....)
Squall watched as Seifer disappeared around another corner, but when he turned it to follow, Seifer didn't reappear into view. That last turn had taken him outside of the Dormitory, and he spun around, searching for the unseen Seifer. It was late, and most of the other students were in bed. This meant that the walkway was deserted.......and very, very dark.....
(Where'd he go......) Squall thought, feeling the panic climb up his throat and grab hold of him harshly. (Damn.....where did he go?!)
Squall backed up against the side railing, looking from side to side. "Where the hell are you, Almasy?!" he screamed.
"Right here....."
The voice had come from behind Squall, and as he turned frantically to face it, he caught a slight glimpse of fierce, turquoise eyes.....before something struck the side of his face, and everything went black.
**********
Part 7 already! Woohoo! Hope you liked. Can you tell I enjoy cliffhangers? hehe. Well, for your information, I wrote the part coming up before I was finished with most preceding parts, being it's my fave, so you won't have to wait long for more. All I have to do is type it up. Part 8 will be the best part in the whole fic in my opinion. You get to find out everything. Yep, every last detail about why Seifer's turned psycho boy. Happy reading, and PLEASE REVIEW...........or I might not ever post again! j/k Love you all!
Waiting. What ceaseless wonders pass through a person's mind while waiting for an event or action that may never come. Of course, the person waiting may consider such wonders a million times better than actually having to face that event or action which they're waiting for........especially if they happen to be Zell Dincht, waiting outside the dorm room of a frighteningly disturbed Seifer Almasy.
"Damn man!" Zell grumbled to himself, hoping from foot to foot as he shadow-boxed clumsily outside the room he was guarding. "How long they gonna make me stay here? I can't stand this!"
A sudden crash coming from inside Seifer's room caused Zell to pause mid-punch. Every so often his thoughts would be interrupted by some strange shuffling or noise sounding from behind the wall. But, everytime he called through the steel to ask what had happened, he'd get no reply. Zell was certain Seifer was alright......in most sense of the word anyway, but it still bothered him to be left wondering.
"Seifer.....you ok in there?" Zell called, stepping right beside the cold, metal door.
No answer.
"I know Rinoa's a helluva lot better at this stuff than I am......" he continued. "...but you can talk to me, too, you know? I mean, we're friends, right? I'm on your side...."
(....I think....)
Another crash echoed through the wall, louder than the last. Zell was really worried by now; so much had happened in the past few days. At first, everyone had been taken by complete surprise by the sudden murders. Some of the other students even pointed fingers at Seifer immediately, since it had been a gunblade used as the murder weapon. Of course, no one from the team would even think of letting those rumors reach Seifer. They knew he would never do anything......like.....that. But......he had. Seifer *was* the killer. There was no getting around it; it was the truth. And Zell hated it. He may not have as much faith in Seifer as Rinoa, but he certainly wasn't going to turn his back on Seifer completely as Squall had. Zell Dincht did not abandon his friends. Not even ones that used to call him Chicken-Wuss.
"Please, Seifer," Zell tried again. "Don't shut us out, man. Talk to me...."
Zell waited a moment for a reply, but when none came he discouragingly returned to his recent assault on the air. After only a few punches, however, Zell was stopped once again by a noise coming from inside Seifer's dorm. Only this time, it was a voice.
"Help!" Zell heard Seifer call out. "Zell, help me! Hurry!"
Zell's bodied stiffened with fear. "What is it, Seifer? What's wrong?" he yelled back, too afraid to simply go busting on inside. Squall had checked back not long after Rinoa's departure, and had left strict instructions that Zell was *not* to go back inside that room alone. Zell did have to admit that he hadn't minded the order all that much. A part of him was terrified of who.....or what.....might be behind that door.
"Help, Zell!" Seifer cried again, offering no more of an explanation than his straining voice. "Help me! Please!"
Zell could clearly hear the desperation in the former knight's tone, presenting him with a very difficult decision. Go in, help Seifer, get out. Stay, pray nothing's really wrong, remain safe. Stay, something is really wrong, and you hate yourself for the rest of your life. Go in, get mutilated by Seifer, and then miss out on that upcoming hotdog eating contest you just *know* you're going to win at the next Balamb carnival. *Sigh* What a dilemma.
(Damn....) Zell cursed to himself. (...well....I can't just stand here!)
"Alright, man, I'm comin' in!" Zell decided finally, preceding to punch the override unlock code into the key panel by the door. Zell was certain he was making the right decision, until.....
The door opened before Zell, and as he took that initial, unthinking step inside, he was met by the business end of a revolver. The gun was being held in the steady hand of a stern faced Seifer Almasy, standing only a few feet from him.
"Shit...." Zell breathed, paralyzed in place.
Seifer grinned wickedly. "Zell...." he purred. "I was hoping you'd help me make sure this thing worked properly. Care to find out.....?" He smiled devilishly at the wide eyed boy in front of him, preparing the gun to fire.
Zell stood frozen for a dangerously long time, blankly watching what seemed to happen in slow motion as Seifer began to pull back on the trigger.....
Bang.
A bullet wedged itself in the wall across from Seifer's dorm, having just barely missed Zell as he dashed at the last second to the side. Hitting the ground hard, Zell frantically recovered himself, reaching up on his knees to punch at the key panel.
"Lock, lock, lock, lock, lock!" Zell cried, miraculously punching in the right code, causing the door to close rapidly beside him. Zell flinched at the sound of Seifer crashing into the other side of the door.
"Let me out, you worthless fuck!" Seifer bellowed through the steel. He was kicking and slamming on the door in a blind rage. "I'll do more than shoot you when I get out of here! You hear me, Chicken-Wuss?!"
Zell fell back away from the door, scrambling to get away as he scooted himself along the floor to reach the safety of the opposite wall. He'd never been so frightened. All he could do was breathe, and even that proved difficult.
Seifer's curses and resounding pounds against the door continued for some time. They rose and rose in intensity, until.......they unexpectedly stopped, like Seifer had become a video tape put on pause.
Zell's gasps for breath calmed as the stillness droned on, making one wonder if there had ever been a threat at all. Zell inched hesitantly forward, straining to hear any sound he might make out from inside the room. But, it had grown completely silent. Eerily silent.
(...what the hell....?) Zell thought, trembling slightly as he got to his feet. (He hit his head too hard ramming into that door, or what?)
Zell took a faltering step forward, listening intently for any signs of life. As he listened, he soon realized that he could here something, though very faint. Stepping closer to the door, Zell tentatively pressed his ear against the cold metal. There was no mistaking the sound now, Zell realized. Someone was crying. Seifer.......Seifer was crying.....
".....Ze....Zell......" a quivering and strangely small voice called from just behind the door. "......Zell.....are you ok....? I didn't.....hit you, did I....? Please....tell me I didn't...."
Zell pulled his ear away from the door, looking from side to side and then back at the door in front of him quizzically.
"....Zell...." Seifer called again, more urgently. "....God....Zell....please say you're ok......please......"
Frozen outside Seifer's door, Zell couldn't believe his ears. How could Seifer truthfully go from being some twisted psychopath ready to blow Zell's brains out, to a whimpering, little boy concerned for his friend's safety? It didn't seem possible.
(Is he kidding....?) Zell wondered, scratching the back of his head in thought. (I don't like this, but.......guess I better answer him.....)
"Uhhh......I'm......fine, Seifer," Zell mumbled, confused about the odd situation. "You....didn't hit me. The bullet went in the wall."
An audible sigh of relief was clearly heard from the other side of the door, and something that could've been, "....thank God...."
(Am I dreaming, or somethin'....?) Zell thought, placing a slightly shaky hand on the door frame. (This is all totally screwed up............unless......)
"Hey, Seifer.....?" Zell questioned, his forehead wrinkling with accusing wonder.
".....yeah.....?" a pitiful voice answered him.
"You just tryin' to trick me, or what?" he demanded cautiously. "Cuz this whole personality, mood swing thing is kinda hard to buy. Know what I mean? I wanna believe ya, it's just......"
"I know what you're saying, Zell," Seifer interrupted.
Zell was beginning to notice that Seifer's voice seemed to be coming from about half way down the door, closer to the ground. He must have been sitting with his back up against it.
"....why should you trust me......after all I did.....?" Seifer continued. "But, I swear it's me right now.....the real me. Those times when I......act all....crazy......it's like I'm someone else.......I can't explain....." He sounded so suffering and sincere, it would have pained anyone to hear him.
Zell's look of accusation turned to one of utter sympathy in a second. Whether it was foolish or not, whether it was just some damned trick or not, he couldn't help but feel sorry for his friend. As far as Zell was concerned, Seifer was not the one who had killed those people. He was not the one who had attacked Quistis. Whatever monster had found its way inside of Seifer, that was the killer. The monster, not the man.
"I believe ya, Seifer," Zell stated kindly. "You just gotta have faith, ok? We'll figure this all out, and......"
"How can I have faith in anything after what I've done!?!" Seifer screamed suddenly, slamming a fist into the door. The loud bang made Zell cringe, and he flinched his hand away from the door frame.
".....you may believe me.......when I say it doesn't *feel* like I'm.....myself when I........" Seifer paused, shaking the thought away. "....but.....that doesn't change what I've done. Maybe *you* have faith in me, but......I'm still......a killer......"
"No..." Zell breathed, placing both hands back against the door, to feel as close as he could to being in there with Seifer. "You're not a killer, Seifer......you're just.....messed up somehow. It's not your fault. I mean, you just tried to shoot me and I'm still on your side. Doesn't that tell ya anything?" Zell smiled a little, hoping his comment might get a laugh, or something out of Seifer.
"......it tells me I've got a really good friend....." Seifer replied, sad and serious. ".....one I don't deserve......"
"Don't say that. You...."
"No, Zell...." Seifer cut in. "...I don't deserve anything. I.....I've killed people...Zell......I ran my gunblade....through Quistis' body......Quistis.......my Quisty.......I tried to kill her, Zell......"
Zell could hear the strain in Seifer's voice. He could almost feel the tears streaming down his friend's face. No....wait.....those were his own tears.
"Stop it....Seifer.....please....don't...." Zell tried, his voice breaking as he spoke.
"......that's all I want, Zell......to stop....." Seifer replied. "......I just want to stop myself....so I can't hurt anyone.....ever again......"
Zell heard the sound of metal dragging across a wooden floor. He stiffened, unbelievably worried by what Seifer seemed to be saying, and by that odd sound......
"Seifer....."
"I have to stop myself....Zell...." Seifer said, barely above a whisper. "I've tried to beat this.....to fight it......but I can't. I can't let myself hurt anyone else, Zell....and *this* is the only to be sure I won't......."
Zell's heart stopped. (....Oh, god.....) his mind cried. (...please no....no, no, no, no, no!)
"Seifer, what are ya sayin', man?" Zell asked frantically. He'd noticed that Seifer's voice hadn't come from closer to the ground like before, but higher, like he was standing. On his feet to face his fate.
".....I'm sorry, Zell.....I have to do this....." Seifer's voice answered him.
Zell couldn't breathe. "Seifer....what are ya doing, man? What are ya talkin' about?!" he practically screamed through the door. His palms were sweating as they pressed into the metal. He wanted to go busting right in there like he had before, but considering how *that* had turned out, he couldn't help but be a little more skeptical this time.
".....tell everyone....I'm sorry, Zell......" Seifer sniffled. The cocking of a gun was heard sounding through the wall. ".....tell Quisty I love her........I love her *so* much......."
Zell's mind was racing, panicking, struggling for an answer to a course of action.
(Shit, shit, shit.......what do I do?!) Zell's mind screamed. (What if I go in and it's just another trick? What if I don't and he......oh, shit! I gotta do something!)
Taking a deep breath to gain courage, Zell punched in the unlock code, determination settling over his features.
(I'm gonna regret this......)
As before, the door parted in front of Zell, and taking that first step inside.........he saw Seifer, standing a few feet away. The same gun was in his hand, but with his eyes clenched shut, Seifer wasn't pointing it at Zell, but had it pressed to his own temple.
"Seifer! No!" Zell cried, leaping towards his friend. Seifer's eyes shot open just as Zell tackled him to the ground, sending the gun flying from his hand. They landed roughly, with Zell practically on top of Seifer as they hit the ground. As soon as the initial impact wore off, Seifer pushed Zell forcefully off of him, sitting up as he cast Zell a very angry, tear-filled glare.
"Why did you do that?!" he screamed at the smaller, young man. "Don't you know what I've done?! Don't you understand......I'm a killer.....a monster.......a murderer......"
Seifer collapsed into his hands through his words, sobbing in agony.
Zell lifted himself from the ground, rubbing his back painfully. He didn't generally make contact with the ground that many times in one night.
Registering what Seifer had said, Zell closed the gap between them with a step, overcome with a million emotions himself by the sight of Seifer crying. It seemed almost surreal to Zell.
"Seifer......" Zell began, crouching down beside the fallen knight. "I understand you're goin' through hell here, but.......killing yourself is *not* the answer!"
Seifer lifted his head from his hands to look at Zell there beside him. His face was red and streaked with tears, and the pain behind his eyes could've withered a rose.
"....how can you understand....?" Seifer breathed, narrowing his gaze. ".....you're not the one who.......God......" Seifer's eyes seemed to unfocus as he remembered, shaking his head slowly at the guilt he felt. "I kept dismissing those dreams like they were nothing........but they......there was something more to them.....something I wasn't willing to see......."
"Dreams.....?" Zell wondered out loud. "What dreams, Seifer?"
"......that's how it all started....." Seifer answered him vacantly. ".....I kept having these dreams where I'd.......kill people......I'd......I'd slaughter innocent people.......sometimes I'd even be killing all of you......" Seifer looked up at Zell again with those words, making Zell's eyes widen a little fearfully. "......when I killed Ashton and the others......it felt like it was just another one of those dreams.......like it wasn't real........but.......it was......I did kill him.....I hurt Quisty......I......killed those children....."
Zell stared on helpless as Seifer retold his horrors, hating the pain emanating from his friend, hating what had happened and how hopeless everything felt.
".....they were just kids...Zell....." Seifer continued, turning his head to stare blankly forward. "....just little kids......and.....and they were so scared....screaming.....not understanding why I wouldn't stop when they begged me to......why I'd laugh right in their faces.......why I loved hurting them....." Eyes closing at the memory, new tears fell streaking down Seifer's cheeks. ".....I loved it.....I *did* love hurting them.....how could I......how could I be so fucking heartless!"
Zell flinched at the fury in Seifer's final phrase, watching as the former knight drowned more and more into his tears. It was one of the oddest and most heart-breaking sights he'd ever seen.
Inching closer to Seifer, Zell reached out a trembling hand, placing it tenderly on Seifer's shoulder. Seifer looked over at him, at that gentle hand, and seemed like he was about to say something more, when suddenly.......
"AHHH!" Seifer cried out, clutching his hands to his head. He began breathing heavily, moaning with pain.
Zell's hand pulled away from Seifer in fear, not understanding the young man's unexpected anguish.
"Seifer...." Zell began, filled with worry and confusion. "Seifer, what is it? What's wrong!?"
The older SeeD, still grasping his head tightly, could not answer him, but continued to groan in agony. Zell watched on, not sure what he should do, but just when he was about to run for help, Seifer's pain seemed to subside. His breathing slowed once again, and whatever had caused the strange episode appeared to be passing.
"Are you alright?" Zell asked, concerned, as Seifer began to slowly pull his hands away from his recently throbbing head.
Seifer turned towards Zell at the question, his expression blank. Soon, however, that subdued disposition faded to a frightening grin.
"Never better...." Seifer breathed menacingly.
Time paused for an excruciatingly long time, with Seifer and Zell frozen in place as they sat unmoving on the floor. Time does, nevertheless, have to move forward.
Before Zell had time to react, Seifer charged him, lifting the smaller boy from the ground and ramming him back against the wall. Zell could feel himself panicking again, only this time, there was no way out.
"Seifer....please...." Zell tried, his breathing becoming irregular and filled with fear.
"Oooo, are you going to beg?" Seifer sneered back at him, pressing Zell painfully into the wall.
(Not happening.....not happening......) Zell thought, hyperventilating. (He wasn't kidding.......it's like he became someone else in a split second.......unless......was it all just some sick way of tricking me.......?)
"Come now, don't hold me in suspense," Seifer continued with a smirk. "I'd love to hear you grovel, Chicken-Wuss. Hehe. Go on. Beg for your life......"
Zell almost couldn't look Seifer in the eyes, his gaze was so terrifyingly penetrating. He knew he'd have more than a good chance against Seifer if he fought back, but......he couldn't move.
"Please....Seifer.....this isn't you......it can't be...." Zell began, searching for signs of hope, and praying he could at least buy himself some time. "...You were just telling me how much you hated yourself for what you've done......you don't wanna hurt me....."
Seifer threw his head back, letting out a powerful, brutal laugh that froze the blood in Zell's veins. After containing his amusement, Seifer pulled himself closer to Zell, his cheek almost brushing against the younger man's.
"You know what....Zell...." Seifer whispered beside the young, blonde's ear. "I lied....."
Pulling himself away abruptly, Seifer suddenly took one of his arms from holding Zell against the wall, and bringing it back, it suddenly flew forward, hitting Zell fiercely across the face. Seifer let go of the younger SeeD completely then, and Zell fell limply to the floor. He was out cold.
"Idiot...." Seifer said with a cruel smile. His demeanor had completely distorted to that of the killer he'd become.
Trailing his gaze along the floor, Seifer's eyes soon rested on the gun he'd had before, now lying a few feet away. He grinned wider, striding over to the weapon and snatching it from the ground. Stalking back to Zell's fallen form, he cocked the revolver, extending his arm to aim directly at Zell's head.
"I doubt those chicken feathers will save you from this...."
Seifer slid his finger unto the trigger, pulling it back......
"Come on, Squall, don't be so judgmental!" A voice echoed down the hallway. Seifer froze, turning towards the still open door.
"You won't change my mind, Irvine," another voice answered the first. "I'll do what Rinoa asked and tell Seifer that Quistis is going to be fine, but I will *not* take his side!"
Seifer inched towards the door, listening to the approaching voices. They were just around the corner. He glowered at the thought of not getting to finish with his fun; he had to find a way out.
"Listen, Squall, I see where you're coming from, but Seifer's not like that. So like, give him a chance. I'm sure he...."
"Wait...." Squall's voice interrupted. "Where's Zell....?"
They had turned the corner, Seifer was sure of it, and they had to be only a few feet away. Taking his chances, nonetheless, the former knight sprinted from the room, knowing they'd see him and make chase, but risking it anyway.
"He's out! Shit!" Squall cried, racing after the fleeing Seifer without a second thought. "Irvine, check in the room, I'm going after him!" he yelled over his shoulder, wasting no time as he dashed through the hallways of the Dormitory.
Irvine would no doubt discover the unconscious Zell and get help, but as for Squall....well, catching Seifer's one thing, dealing with him is another.
(Why wouldn't they listen to me?!) Squall's mind raced as he ran. He was far enough behind Seifer to loose him for a moment every time they turned a corner. (Imagine what he might have done to Zell........damn him! I'll rip him apart!)
Seifer knew that his former rival was right on his heels, but he wasn't worried one bit. He grinned mischievously, tightening his grip on the gun still in his hand.
(That's it.....come and get me, Squall.....)
Squall watched as Seifer disappeared around another corner, but when he turned it to follow, Seifer didn't reappear into view. That last turn had taken him outside of the Dormitory, and he spun around, searching for the unseen Seifer. It was late, and most of the other students were in bed. This meant that the walkway was deserted.......and very, very dark.....
(Where'd he go......) Squall thought, feeling the panic climb up his throat and grab hold of him harshly. (Damn.....where did he go?!)
Squall backed up against the side railing, looking from side to side. "Where the hell are you, Almasy?!" he screamed.
"Right here....."
The voice had come from behind Squall, and as he turned frantically to face it, he caught a slight glimpse of fierce, turquoise eyes.....before something struck the side of his face, and everything went black.
**********
Part 7 already! Woohoo! Hope you liked. Can you tell I enjoy cliffhangers? hehe. Well, for your information, I wrote the part coming up before I was finished with most preceding parts, being it's my fave, so you won't have to wait long for more. All I have to do is type it up. Part 8 will be the best part in the whole fic in my opinion. You get to find out everything. Yep, every last detail about why Seifer's turned psycho boy. Happy reading, and PLEASE REVIEW...........or I might not ever post again! j/k Love you all!