Tuon laid flat on the floor staring up at the grimy ceiling of her prison. In that moment as she lay there she forgot herself and plunged into a fit of remorse. She missed the streets of Seandar and her home at the Court of the Nine Moons. She felt a pain that was almost physical out of longing for the sight of Seanchan shore, to look once more upon her homeland. it seemed so long ago that she had come to this land blown by Kidron's sails; since she had joined the Corenne.
Tuon desperately wanted to scratch her scalp. She felt shame and embarrassment every time she thought about the hair that she knew was growing in under her hideous wig. it itched fiercely but with her hands tied firmly to the chair she was helpless to do anything about it. Tuon felt herself shiver at the thought of being helpless, she calmed herself, she had promised to show no fear. She would not lower her eyes in the face of adversity, even if the situation seemed beyond bleak. No, she would do what she knew best, what she had always done. She would keep her bearing, hold herself up high before her enemies and look them in the eye! Let them dare to harm her then, a daughter of the Empress herself, may she live forever.
Tuon took an inward breath and let out a long sigh. She always was one to out do herself when honor was at stake. She had always given all her heart to the struggle against her kin for the Empress's , may she live forever, favor. And she had been a natural, plotting incidents against her brothers and sisters, setting them up to lose face in public. Oh how they would have laughed could they see her now, where it seemed her skills offered her no escape. Captured and at the mercy of other's will in a foreign land. Tuon had wanted so badly to be the first of Luthair Paendrag's heirs to set foot on the land that was rightfully theirs. She had had so much confidence in herself. She dreamed of being the first Empress to rule the empire at its fullest glory. An empire that she herself would have helped grow. Things never work out perfectly, Tuon knew that, and perhaps her dream was to full of self ambition, a quality tuon could hardly praise in others and didn't like seeing in herself. She couldn't have even imagined how bad events really were to turn. She felt like the biggest failure in the world. All her work was to come to this. All her maneuvering to propel herself to the forefront of the Corenne dispite her age and unspoken doubts from the Blood that were as obvious as day. Her great victories, being the Empress's, may she live forever, unquestionable favorite; being assigned the most important task in all the empire, to bring the Dragon himself to kneel before the Crystal Throne. All this honor gone, so it seemed replaced by promises of a future rife with abuse, physical and emotional. Lidya's predictions had been disturbing, but they were nothing to prepare her for the shock of total loss. She was all alone now. She had been positive that she would be rescued. She was guarded by a small army of the most deadly fighters in all Seanchan. And yet her captors had escaped with her hidden away among them, nothing but an abondoned girl without the force of her position to back her up. Nothing but an abandoned girl perhaps never to be seen again. Soon even the small protection she had from their need of secrecy would be at an end. She was scared to her very soul. She had overheard that Cauthon's party would disband from the menagerie when they were halfway to " Lugard". Tuon didn't know this place but she knew that it would be soon. Halfway to Lugard, that was when she would be totally at the mercy of Mat Cauthon. She cursed at him till her lungs burned with the effort, but she was really cursing her own fear. She didn't know exactly what he had planned for her, and she didn't want to think about it. She had marveled at the mystery that was Mat Cauthon while in the Tarasin Palace. Who was this man with all his secrets?; Why did men follow him?; Where had he gotten such a weapon?; Why did the former Aes Sedai look at him that way? Tuon had not solved these mysteries, she had been ignorant and that had cost her her life. When they were halfway to Lugard she would escape or she would die trying, most likely she would die. She would not, could not stay with this man who would force his every will on her the moment he was free to. " She is my wife"; his voice echoed in her mind magnifying till her head felt like it would explode and her heart raced with the pent up urgency to flee, flee at any cost. As the day faded into night Tuon allowed herself one solitary tear for the future that was lost to her.
Tuon desperately wanted to scratch her scalp. She felt shame and embarrassment every time she thought about the hair that she knew was growing in under her hideous wig. it itched fiercely but with her hands tied firmly to the chair she was helpless to do anything about it. Tuon felt herself shiver at the thought of being helpless, she calmed herself, she had promised to show no fear. She would not lower her eyes in the face of adversity, even if the situation seemed beyond bleak. No, she would do what she knew best, what she had always done. She would keep her bearing, hold herself up high before her enemies and look them in the eye! Let them dare to harm her then, a daughter of the Empress herself, may she live forever.
Tuon took an inward breath and let out a long sigh. She always was one to out do herself when honor was at stake. She had always given all her heart to the struggle against her kin for the Empress's , may she live forever, favor. And she had been a natural, plotting incidents against her brothers and sisters, setting them up to lose face in public. Oh how they would have laughed could they see her now, where it seemed her skills offered her no escape. Captured and at the mercy of other's will in a foreign land. Tuon had wanted so badly to be the first of Luthair Paendrag's heirs to set foot on the land that was rightfully theirs. She had had so much confidence in herself. She dreamed of being the first Empress to rule the empire at its fullest glory. An empire that she herself would have helped grow. Things never work out perfectly, Tuon knew that, and perhaps her dream was to full of self ambition, a quality tuon could hardly praise in others and didn't like seeing in herself. She couldn't have even imagined how bad events really were to turn. She felt like the biggest failure in the world. All her work was to come to this. All her maneuvering to propel herself to the forefront of the Corenne dispite her age and unspoken doubts from the Blood that were as obvious as day. Her great victories, being the Empress's, may she live forever, unquestionable favorite; being assigned the most important task in all the empire, to bring the Dragon himself to kneel before the Crystal Throne. All this honor gone, so it seemed replaced by promises of a future rife with abuse, physical and emotional. Lidya's predictions had been disturbing, but they were nothing to prepare her for the shock of total loss. She was all alone now. She had been positive that she would be rescued. She was guarded by a small army of the most deadly fighters in all Seanchan. And yet her captors had escaped with her hidden away among them, nothing but an abondoned girl without the force of her position to back her up. Nothing but an abandoned girl perhaps never to be seen again. Soon even the small protection she had from their need of secrecy would be at an end. She was scared to her very soul. She had overheard that Cauthon's party would disband from the menagerie when they were halfway to " Lugard". Tuon didn't know this place but she knew that it would be soon. Halfway to Lugard, that was when she would be totally at the mercy of Mat Cauthon. She cursed at him till her lungs burned with the effort, but she was really cursing her own fear. She didn't know exactly what he had planned for her, and she didn't want to think about it. She had marveled at the mystery that was Mat Cauthon while in the Tarasin Palace. Who was this man with all his secrets?; Why did men follow him?; Where had he gotten such a weapon?; Why did the former Aes Sedai look at him that way? Tuon had not solved these mysteries, she had been ignorant and that had cost her her life. When they were halfway to Lugard she would escape or she would die trying, most likely she would die. She would not, could not stay with this man who would force his every will on her the moment he was free to. " She is my wife"; his voice echoed in her mind magnifying till her head felt like it would explode and her heart raced with the pent up urgency to flee, flee at any cost. As the day faded into night Tuon allowed herself one solitary tear for the future that was lost to her.