Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, however I do own the 'lovely' song lyrics used!
The 'Sincerest Friendship' Trilogy - part 2.
Living Between Dreams and Reality.
"We are now arriving at Odaiba airport, please remain in your seats..." the voice of the air stewardess causes me to stir from my doze. I rub my eyes, then look out of the window. Automatically I feel my hands tighten around the armrests of my seat nervously, I look at them and my knuckles are white. I still can't believe I'm here - it's been about six years; six long, exciting but wonderful years since I last set foot in my childhood home. I'm feeling very worried right now, it feels like there's butterflies in my stomach, and they're fluttering so hard that it feels like they're trying to escape. I can't help but wonder just how much has changed as the airplane begins its decent.
I have to wear shades and a hat as I walk through the airport; can you imagine it? I try to imagine what would happen if I took them off, probably nothing as everyone wouldn't be expecting to see me here. But what if someone did recognise me? Would they suddenly yell 'Oh my God it's Mimi Ishida!'? Would a huge crowd of fans stampede towards me waving cameras and pieces of paper, begging for pictures and autographs? Would a news crew magically appear and ask why I was there? More importantly - would they ask where Matt is? Or would they just jump to the conclusion that we were having problems? I just shake my head and leave; a limo's parked outside waiting for me, but I don't want it - I just want to be normal for the day! I tell the chauffeur my plan, and pay him to take my luggage to my hotel. Then I jump into a taxi and ask the driver to take me to the park - and to take the long route.
As the taxi drives along, I look out of the window. Funny, it only seems like yesterday since I was last here, yet back at the airport it felt like centuries had passed. We finally reach my destination and I thank the cab driver and give him a large tip. I take in a deep breath of fresh air as I jump out and begin to walk. I know exactly where to go - the bench, our bench. To my amazement it's still here after all this time. I sit on it and close my eyes, recalling what could've been my last moment with Matt, for this was the bench where we were found making out after we'd been banned from seeing one another. I begged her to keep it secret, but she refused and dragged me home. I remember screaming to Matt as she dragged me away; he was sat here looking broken. I cried and cried as he got further away, pouring out all the anxiety in my heart. I really thought that I'd never see him again; never get to touch that warm face or kiss those sweet lips again. However fate's a funny thing, and whatever will be, will be. I take a photo out of my purse - it's my favourite. It's a recent picture of myself, Matt and Taichi. Taichi is in Matt's arms, giggling, and Matt's grinning proudly; one of his arms is around my waist, holding onto me tightly, almost protectively. I look very happy - I was. It wasn't one of those fake posed magazine pictures, this one's very natural. A tear rolls off of my cheek and onto the picture, I wipe it away quickly. This is the first time I've been away from my son, and the first time in years I've been away from Matt. I miss them so much, but I wanted to do this alone and I feel Taichi's too young to fly. I put the photo away and take in the surroundings. It's so peaceful here, that's what I always loved about it. When I was younger I could come here to escape from the stresses of my life and just drift away into one of my daydreams. Also it reminds me of the DigiWorld in a way...I miss Palmon, I wonder what she's doing and if she misses me? I've not seen her for ages. I'd like to go back someday, but I don't know if I could face her and explain my absence. I stand up, suddenly feeling the urge to run, act like a child again. So, following my instincts, I do. I run around wildly, my shoulder-length hair flies back off of my face. There's the pond, I stop directly in front of it and kneel down, peering into the water. I look at my reflection and for one brief moment I don't see Mimi Ishida - one half of duo Sincerest Friendship; loving mother and wife. I see little Mimi Tachikawa, eyes sparkling with excitement; chestnut hair just touching the water. I honestly thought I'd never see her again, but there she is, smiling up at me. I sit up and recall a scene from years ago. I was about eleven, and sat in the same position, daydreaming of the future when someone placed their hand on my shoulder and used the other to thrust a pink flower in my face.
"I wanted to get you a rose, but I couldn't find one as pretty as you." that someone's voice said gently. I turned and looked up at him - Matt; he was blushing slightly, a sheepish smile played on his lips. That is one of my fondest memories; his face, the way he spoke - everything. I sigh, stand up, then continue walking.
*~*~*
How ironic. I walk past a record shop and they happen to be playing one of our songs. There are two girls stood outside chatting, I suddenly hear one say:
"I love this song! Sincerest Friendship rule!"
"Yeah," says the other one. "That Yamato is a real babe!"
"Shame he's married, oh well they make a fab couple, don't ya think?"
"Totally! Have you seen their baby he's so adorable!"
I smile, then just stand and listen to the song, singing the words in my head:
Forgiveness is not a choice
It's something I cannot do
If I had a chance, to turn back time
It'd be a risk I wouldn't take
My world is fine, I'm peaceful and content
It may sound strange, but it's true
I'm living between dreams and reality
Somewhere you'll never go
I wrote that song just an hour after I told the woman I once regarded as my mother that I couldn't forgive her on live TV. I humiliated her - just like she let that man, once known as 'daddy', humiliate me. I still have nightmares about it, he was so cold, so violent. Everyone told me I should've pressed charges against him but i just wanted him to go away, so I didn't. People often come up to me and ask what I meant by 'living between dreams and reality' - well let's face it, it's the truth! I'm rich, famous, have a gorgeous husband and child, not to mention I was chosen to go on a journey to another world to save it and our own - aren't these the kind of things dreams are made of? Then there's the reality - I lost my parents through their own foolish behaviour, I ran away from home and was on the run with my one true love, plus we both lost touch with our closest friends, and brother in Matt's case. Poor TK, I keep wishing that he could meet his nephew, so does Matt, but we've all been so busy that we haven't had a chance to meet up. I know TK and Kari were both sad that we didn't get to go to their wedding, but they sent us photographs and it looked like a wonderful day. I always knew they'd end up together, and I know Tai must be as proud of Kari as Matt is of TK. Taichi would just love his uncle and aunt, and the others. He's such a good kid, I know he's only two but I just know that he's going to grow up to be just like his parents - a successful survivor.
I finally reach my hotel about 2 hours later. It's very fancy and expensive. I sign under my usual (fake) name of Rose Tachikawa (Matt's idea). I'm led to my extremely fancy room - there's a huge basket of flowers waiting for me; compliments of the hotel probably. I open the card:
'To Mimi (or Mommy),
Hope you're having a nice trip, get lots of rest and don't worry about a thing!
Missing you,
Lots of love and kisses,
Yamato and Taichi.'
I smile; how sweet of Matt. Uh oh here come the tears again...I collapse onto my bed and sob - how I miss them!
*~*~*
The phone's ringing. I open my eyes, I must've fallen asleep. I sit up and answer it.
"Ms. Tachikawa? There's a phonecall for you." the receptionist tells me.
"Urgh, ok thank you, put them through." I groan sleepily. There's a click then another voice.
"Hello honey, did I disturb you?" suddenly I feel more awake.
"Yama, you woke me up, but I'm glad you did!" another voice pipes up the in the background.
"Mommy! Me talk!"
"Taichi, my angel. How is he?"
"He's just fine." Matt says reassuringly.
"And how about you? Not missing me too much I hope."
"I miss you more each moment you're away." I roll my eyes at that comment.
"You sound like one of our songs."
"Ooh, maybe I should write one about it!" he jokes. "Oh, did you get the flowers?"
"Uh huh, thank you sweetie." there's a silence for a second.
"Mimi?"
"Yes, Matt?"
"If you see the others, give them my love."
"I will."
"And don't worry about anything."
"I won't. Give Taichi a big kiss for me and tell him I'll be home soon."
"Sure - Taichi be careful! I'd better go..." I smile as I hear a loud crash. "Taichi! Argh he's knocked over a plant! Love you Meems."
"Love you too, Yama." I murmur just before he hangs up. Matt's a brilliant father, very patient with his son. I remember his face when I told him I was pregnant, I wasn't sure whether he was going to burst with pride or faint! My stomach begins to growl, so I pick up the phone again and dial room service. I'm going to have a huge dinner; then unpack some of my cases; have a long hot bath then finally get some more sleep.
*~*~*
Is it morning already? No, it can't be it's still dark. Wait, what's that? It's a light. I walk towards it, but it seems to move backwards as I move to it; so it's always equidistant to me. There's a noise, it sounds like...someone whispering my name again and again - creepy. It sends shivers down my spine as it echoes around me; sometimes loud, sometimes barely audible. I stop walking, and the light flickers then begins to move towards me. There's someone there, trapped in the brightness.
"Mimi, Mimi, Mimi..." it continues to echo around me, filling my head. I want to block it out but it gets louder as the light gets nearer.
"Mimi, Mimi, Mimi, Mimi...forgive, forgive, forgive..." the words change, and the figure's beginning to come closer.
"Forgive, forgive, forgive, Mimi, forgive, MimiforgiveMimiforgive..." the words are starting to get faster and get stuck together. I now realise what they're saying...
"Mimi forgive me, Mimi forgive me..." I still can't see who the figure is, it's a woman, but who? "Mimi forgive me, Mimi forgive me..." the words are so loud now that I'm finding it hard to even think. Suddenly the room begins to spin, or is it me?
"Mimi forgive me, Mimi forgive me, MimiMimiMimiMimi..."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
I scream and sit up, gasping for air. It was all a dream, a dream. I can feel sweat running down my face mixed with tears. The sun shines brightly through my window and I check my clock - it's 10.24am. I jump out of bed and go to the bathroom for a shower, hopefully it will clear my head of that awful nightmare. As I shower I decide what to wear. The weather's pretty good so I think I'll wear my new white shirt and my favourite pink skirt.
I love walking. Strange, isn't it? Back in the Digital World I despised it but now I'd rather walk than drive or cycle. Here I am, wandering along the streets not caring where I go when suddenly I realise I'm stood outside Odaiba Elementary! Now this place brings back memories! I remember coming here to go to the Digital World when Davis, Yolei and Cody first discovered they were DigiDestined. I was over for a visit when I noticed the school gates open so I thought I'd take a look around. When I got to the computer room I found them there with TK and Kari, ready to go on a picnic. That was a fun day. How strange, the gate's open...no way, it couldn't be, could it? Only one way to find out! I walk through and head into the school. To my absolute joy I find the computer room open and on one of the computers...an open Digiport! It's a good thing I always carry my Digivice! I grab it from my waist and point it at the computer - here we go again!
*~*~*
I land in a heap on a pile of sand. The beach. I'm here, I'm really here! I once again feel tears in my eyes, but I blink them back. I stand up, brush the sand off my skirt, and walk along looking for a certain something, praying it's still here. I guess my prayers are answered because a little way along I see it - our tree. I run up to find a Gekomon sat in the shade. I laugh joyfully as I see it, he must have heard because the next thing I know he stands up.
"Princess!" he exclaims. "Princess I knew you'd return!" as I reach him I grab hold of his hands and spin his around and around.
"I missed you!" I'm grinning so much I swear it feels like my cheeks may burst.
"I have to get the others! We'll have a huge party to celebrate!" the little Gekomon sprints away to find his friends. I stand for a moment, staring at the tree. I reach out and trace the words engraved there 'Mimi and Matt - together forever'. Finally I let the tears I've been holding back fall free. I fling myself at the tree and hug it, I admit it must look rather strange but I can't help it. I'm clinging on the tree as if my life depends on it.
"Who's that?"
"What a strange lady, she's hugging a tree!"
"Oh my..."
Voices. The last one fades out as I turn to face them. Stood a little distance from me are 10 figures - 5 people and 5 Digimon. 8 of them I've never seen before, but two are very familiar - Tai and Agumon.
"Mi...mi...?" Tai stutters, obviously in shock.
"Tai?" I whisper. Suddenly he runs towards me, and I run to him. We meet in the middle and hold each other tightly.
"It's been so long!" he whispers in my ear. "I've missed you."
"Ditto." I whisper back. Soon we're both crying, I can feel Tai's tears soaking through my shirt.
"Where's Matt?" he asks.
"At home with Taichi. I'm in Odaiba for a few days."
"Oh, I see. Is everything ok?" I nod.
"Yes, thank you." I wipe a tear from his cheek and smile into those chocolate brown eyes. He grins, then turns to the group.
"Everyone this is my friend Mimi Tachika..." I nudge him with my elbow. "Sorry, Mimi Ishida. She's one of the original DigiDestined, like myself." the children all say hello. "Now the introduction's over let's go home! See ya soon Agumon!"
"Bye Tai, it was nice to see you again Mimi. Do you have a message for Palmon?" Agumon tilts his head on one side. I freeze for a second, then sadly shake my head.
"Please, don't tell her you saw me. She'd only get upset." I tell him.
"OK, bye everyone!" Agumon runs off, and we all head back to the Digiport.
Pretty soon myself and Tai are stood outside the school. The DigiDestined have gone home.
"I can't believe you're still helping them! I thought TK or one of the younger ones might have taken over." I exclaim. He smiles at the ground.
"No way! It's cool, I love helping them."
"That's ok then." I smile at him.
"So, do ya wanna drink? There's a nice little cafe nearby." he looks at me rather hopefully.
"Sure, just as long as you're paying!" I tease.
"Of course, actually I insist on paying!" he announces. I laugh, then take his arm as we walk.
*~*~*
When we got to the cafe we decided to have our drinks to go then head over to the park. So here we are, sat on a bench sipping our coffee.
"How long has it been?" Tai asks me.
"Since what?"
"Since you were last here?"
"Six years or so."
"Wow, that long?" I nod my head.
"You haven't changed much, have you?" I say honestly. He laughs.
"I guess not."
"Tai?" I turn to look at him. "How are the others? I haven't spoken to you all in ages." he looks up at me.
"They're all good. TK and Kari are really happy and really miss you guys. They were sorry you couldn't get to the wedding." Tai pauses for a second. "Hey how are Matt and Taichi?"
"They're wonderful." I smile, and hand him the photo.
"Wow he's got big." he smiles. "He looks just like you guys."
"You missed someone Tai." I say gently. He looks up at me in confusion. "What about Sora?" he suddenly looks pained at the mention of her name.
"I wish I knew..." he sighs sadly.
"What do you mean?" I inquire. He turns away from me as he continues.
"You know we were engaged, well we kinda hit a rough spot recently..."
"And?" I urge him on gently.
"She broke off the engagement and moved out."
"What? Oh no Tai, I'm so sorry!" he looks really upset. "What happened?!"
"She...she told me she didn't love me anymore." he suddenly blurts out. "It was a total shock. We were just sitting on the beach when she suddenly said it. She said she'd found someone new and that she was madly in love with him."
"That's terrible. Have you tried to talk to her?" I feel so bad about this, if I'd have been here perhaps I could've helped...he just shakes his head.
"I don't think I could if I saw her..." he breaks down, and I put an arm around his shoulder. "I really loved her Mimi I thought she felt the same!"
"Shhhh..." I try to comfort him but he's so distraught.
"What is it like Mimi? To be totally in love? I mean you and Matt have this perfect relationship..." I put a finger to his lips.
"It's not perfect Tai, nothing's ever perfect. We've had our ups and downs just like any relationships; ok so we've had more ups than downs recently but look at our past! I'd hardly call it perfect, would you?" he shakes his head.
"Sorry, I guess I was being selfish." he sighs. "Look, can I walk you back to your hotel?" I nod.
"On two conditions."
"Which are?"
"One - don't tell anyone that you saw me, I can't cope with anymore emotion at the moment. Two - the next time you see Sora, talk to her. Try and clear the air, or I'll never forgive you."
"Ok, it won't be easy, but I promise." we stand up and head back towards the hotel.
*~*~*
Almost as soon as I enter the hotel, I'm pounced on by the manager. He's an ok guy, he's the only one here who actually knows who I am because I spoke to him on the phone to arrange my room.
"Hello, Mrs. Ishida." he greets me quietly. "There's someone waiting for you in your room."
"There is?" he just nods. "Ok thank you." now I'm very confused. I head up to my room via the lift. I take a deep breath as I turn the key in the lock of the door and open it.
"Mommy!"
I don't know whether I should be happy or angry. As I enter my room I'm pounced on by a small chestnut haired boy. His blue eyes sparkle merrily as he holds his arms out to me.
"Taichi?" I exclaim as I pick my son up.
"Hello honey." a deep voice says sheepishly from the other side of the room.
"Yamato Ishida!" I say, half scoldingly and half laughing, "How dare you!"
"Sorry, but Taichi missed you!" he grins, those beautiful blue eyes of his glittering in the dying sunlight. I can't stay mad at him for more than two seconds. I walk over to him and put my spare arm around his neck and kiss him.
"My two favourite boys." I sigh. "I missed you both so much." Matt kisses the top of my head.
"What have you been doing today?" he asks.
"I went to the Digital World." I reply, he looks shocked. "You remember that Gekomon you told me about? He was still there, guarding the tree."
"Really? Wow!"
"And I also met the new DigiDestined...and Tai."
"Tai? How is he?" He seems a little...cautious? I don't know for sure, but there was just something in his voice that didn't seem right.
"He's pretty low at the moment, he and Sora have split up."
"Really, why?" His astonishment, or rather lack of it, surprises me, but I decide not to mention it.
"Long story, I'll tell you everything when Taichi's in bed."
"Ok." he says gently, and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I love you, Mimi Ishida. The real reason I'm here is because I want to be with you, I want to be by your side through everything and anything."
"Oh Yama." I whisper back. "I want you with me always and forever."
"Good, cos that's where I'm gonna be." I roll my eyes at him.
"You sound like a song again...hey where did you phone me from yesterday?"
"The airport, we were just about to depart."
"So Taichi didn't push a plant over?"
"Actually he did. There was a huge pot plant near the phone." I laugh, then notice Taichi has drifted off to sleep in my arms. I kiss his forehead then place him on the bed. He looks so peaceful and carefree, just as he should. Matt walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, I can feel his warm breath on my neck as he holds me tightly; I never want him to let go. I just know that I will sleep well tonight because he's here.
*~*~*
The next morning I wake up to discover Matt and Taichi already up. Taichi runs over to hug me as Matt stands solemnly at the window. I look into his eyes and nod, today's the day.
"Do you want some breakfast honey?" he asks me gently.
"No. I'm not hungry." I reply quickly. Actually my stomach's aching because I'm so hungry, but I really don't feel up to eating.
"You really ought to try and eat something, I had something at the cafe down the street because Taichi woke up at about 7 and I didn't want to disturb you." I shake my head.
"I can't Matt. I just need a shower then I'll be fine." I jump out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I'm not really in a talkative mood, there's too many thoughts going round in my head.
I hate black. It makes me think of bad things - darkness, evil, loneliness, misery...yet here I am, putting on a black dress. I guess it's appropriate. Matt's wearing a black suit, it goes so well with his hair and eyes. Taichi's dancing around, giggling. Lucky thing doesn't know what's happening. He's too little to understand sorrow.
"Mimi? It's time to go." I look up at Matt, and nod my head. As we walk out to the limo which he's ordered I feel those butterflies return to my stomach. Sometimes I hate reality, it sucks. I wish I could only live in my dreams, the good times. Unfortunately I have to do this, or it will stain my conscience forever...
Forgiveness is not a choice
It's something I cannot do
If I had a chance, to turn back time
It'd be a risk I wouldn't take
The words keep running through my head as we reach the cemetery. I hate these places more than black. We walk in silence, pushing Taichi in his buggy until we reach a grave. Slowly, almost reluctantly I walk up and fall to my knees in front of it, tears in my eyes.
"I...I'm sorry!" I suddenly wail, the pent up emotion within myself freeing itself at long last. "I wish I could have forgiven you but it was too difficult! I know he treated you badly, I know he walked all over you and I know you were only looking out for me, but the truth is I love Matt more than anyone in the world, even more than you!" I feel a lump in my throat, and I feel I can say no more. Then it dawns on me - the woman in my dream - it was her. The person who I had come to see, for today is exactly a year since the woman once known as my mother killed herself. It was about three months after Taichi's birth. I didn't realise it, but my father had left her for another woman and she was all alone in New York with no real friends to turn to. She returned to Odaiba in a deep state of depression and soon after she was found hanging from her apartment roof. A suicide note saying 'sorry' was all that was left. I cry and cry, but still I feel guilty. I now know that she truly cared, but still I can't forgive her for what she did, for letting her husband treat her the way he did, for standing by him when he hurt me. Taichi's bright voice suddenly breaks the deathly silence.
"Daddy?" he asks.
"No, I'm not your daddy." a male voice says gently. I look up and gasp. There, stood in front of Taichi, is his uncle Takeru...TK. He's not alone - stood with him are his wife Kari, Tai, Yolei, Cody, Joe, Davis and Izzy. Matt looks like he's seen a ghost, his face is so pale. I jump up and run to them, and practically throw myself into TK's arms.
"It's been so long." I sob. "I've missed you all." I make my way through them, hugging each one tightly. When I get to Tai he whispers something in my ear.
"I couldn't keep the promise, I'm sorry."
"It's ok, just make sure you keep the other one."
"I'll try, really I will." Taichi giggles. I turn and see TK holding him.
"Unca Teekay!" Taichi squeals. "Antay Kawi!" Tai grins.
"Cute, real cute." he remarks, then makes his way over to Matt, his best friend.
I'm glad Tai broke his promise. It made me realise just how much I need support from my friends and how much I really missed them. It was scary thinking about seeing them again, but now I have it just seems so...unreal. Perhaps it was all a dream, a beautiful dream? As dreams are a big part of my life I wouldn't be surprised if it was. However it wasn't - it was reality. Seeing the others again has made me realise that I've been separating my life into two things - dreams being the good stuff and reality the bad; but now I can see that reality isn't necessarily bad, and dreams aren't always good. Actually this whole experience has brought me to one huge conclusion - the most important things in life are trust, sincerity and friendship. If you take these things for granted then you're a bad person, which in a way makes me a bad person because I didn't trust and lied to the people most dear to me - my friends.
The 'Sincerest Friendship' Trilogy - part 2.
Living Between Dreams and Reality.
"We are now arriving at Odaiba airport, please remain in your seats..." the voice of the air stewardess causes me to stir from my doze. I rub my eyes, then look out of the window. Automatically I feel my hands tighten around the armrests of my seat nervously, I look at them and my knuckles are white. I still can't believe I'm here - it's been about six years; six long, exciting but wonderful years since I last set foot in my childhood home. I'm feeling very worried right now, it feels like there's butterflies in my stomach, and they're fluttering so hard that it feels like they're trying to escape. I can't help but wonder just how much has changed as the airplane begins its decent.
I have to wear shades and a hat as I walk through the airport; can you imagine it? I try to imagine what would happen if I took them off, probably nothing as everyone wouldn't be expecting to see me here. But what if someone did recognise me? Would they suddenly yell 'Oh my God it's Mimi Ishida!'? Would a huge crowd of fans stampede towards me waving cameras and pieces of paper, begging for pictures and autographs? Would a news crew magically appear and ask why I was there? More importantly - would they ask where Matt is? Or would they just jump to the conclusion that we were having problems? I just shake my head and leave; a limo's parked outside waiting for me, but I don't want it - I just want to be normal for the day! I tell the chauffeur my plan, and pay him to take my luggage to my hotel. Then I jump into a taxi and ask the driver to take me to the park - and to take the long route.
As the taxi drives along, I look out of the window. Funny, it only seems like yesterday since I was last here, yet back at the airport it felt like centuries had passed. We finally reach my destination and I thank the cab driver and give him a large tip. I take in a deep breath of fresh air as I jump out and begin to walk. I know exactly where to go - the bench, our bench. To my amazement it's still here after all this time. I sit on it and close my eyes, recalling what could've been my last moment with Matt, for this was the bench where we were found making out after we'd been banned from seeing one another. I begged her to keep it secret, but she refused and dragged me home. I remember screaming to Matt as she dragged me away; he was sat here looking broken. I cried and cried as he got further away, pouring out all the anxiety in my heart. I really thought that I'd never see him again; never get to touch that warm face or kiss those sweet lips again. However fate's a funny thing, and whatever will be, will be. I take a photo out of my purse - it's my favourite. It's a recent picture of myself, Matt and Taichi. Taichi is in Matt's arms, giggling, and Matt's grinning proudly; one of his arms is around my waist, holding onto me tightly, almost protectively. I look very happy - I was. It wasn't one of those fake posed magazine pictures, this one's very natural. A tear rolls off of my cheek and onto the picture, I wipe it away quickly. This is the first time I've been away from my son, and the first time in years I've been away from Matt. I miss them so much, but I wanted to do this alone and I feel Taichi's too young to fly. I put the photo away and take in the surroundings. It's so peaceful here, that's what I always loved about it. When I was younger I could come here to escape from the stresses of my life and just drift away into one of my daydreams. Also it reminds me of the DigiWorld in a way...I miss Palmon, I wonder what she's doing and if she misses me? I've not seen her for ages. I'd like to go back someday, but I don't know if I could face her and explain my absence. I stand up, suddenly feeling the urge to run, act like a child again. So, following my instincts, I do. I run around wildly, my shoulder-length hair flies back off of my face. There's the pond, I stop directly in front of it and kneel down, peering into the water. I look at my reflection and for one brief moment I don't see Mimi Ishida - one half of duo Sincerest Friendship; loving mother and wife. I see little Mimi Tachikawa, eyes sparkling with excitement; chestnut hair just touching the water. I honestly thought I'd never see her again, but there she is, smiling up at me. I sit up and recall a scene from years ago. I was about eleven, and sat in the same position, daydreaming of the future when someone placed their hand on my shoulder and used the other to thrust a pink flower in my face.
"I wanted to get you a rose, but I couldn't find one as pretty as you." that someone's voice said gently. I turned and looked up at him - Matt; he was blushing slightly, a sheepish smile played on his lips. That is one of my fondest memories; his face, the way he spoke - everything. I sigh, stand up, then continue walking.
*~*~*
How ironic. I walk past a record shop and they happen to be playing one of our songs. There are two girls stood outside chatting, I suddenly hear one say:
"I love this song! Sincerest Friendship rule!"
"Yeah," says the other one. "That Yamato is a real babe!"
"Shame he's married, oh well they make a fab couple, don't ya think?"
"Totally! Have you seen their baby he's so adorable!"
I smile, then just stand and listen to the song, singing the words in my head:
Forgiveness is not a choice
It's something I cannot do
If I had a chance, to turn back time
It'd be a risk I wouldn't take
My world is fine, I'm peaceful and content
It may sound strange, but it's true
I'm living between dreams and reality
Somewhere you'll never go
I wrote that song just an hour after I told the woman I once regarded as my mother that I couldn't forgive her on live TV. I humiliated her - just like she let that man, once known as 'daddy', humiliate me. I still have nightmares about it, he was so cold, so violent. Everyone told me I should've pressed charges against him but i just wanted him to go away, so I didn't. People often come up to me and ask what I meant by 'living between dreams and reality' - well let's face it, it's the truth! I'm rich, famous, have a gorgeous husband and child, not to mention I was chosen to go on a journey to another world to save it and our own - aren't these the kind of things dreams are made of? Then there's the reality - I lost my parents through their own foolish behaviour, I ran away from home and was on the run with my one true love, plus we both lost touch with our closest friends, and brother in Matt's case. Poor TK, I keep wishing that he could meet his nephew, so does Matt, but we've all been so busy that we haven't had a chance to meet up. I know TK and Kari were both sad that we didn't get to go to their wedding, but they sent us photographs and it looked like a wonderful day. I always knew they'd end up together, and I know Tai must be as proud of Kari as Matt is of TK. Taichi would just love his uncle and aunt, and the others. He's such a good kid, I know he's only two but I just know that he's going to grow up to be just like his parents - a successful survivor.
I finally reach my hotel about 2 hours later. It's very fancy and expensive. I sign under my usual (fake) name of Rose Tachikawa (Matt's idea). I'm led to my extremely fancy room - there's a huge basket of flowers waiting for me; compliments of the hotel probably. I open the card:
'To Mimi (or Mommy),
Hope you're having a nice trip, get lots of rest and don't worry about a thing!
Missing you,
Lots of love and kisses,
Yamato and Taichi.'
I smile; how sweet of Matt. Uh oh here come the tears again...I collapse onto my bed and sob - how I miss them!
*~*~*
The phone's ringing. I open my eyes, I must've fallen asleep. I sit up and answer it.
"Ms. Tachikawa? There's a phonecall for you." the receptionist tells me.
"Urgh, ok thank you, put them through." I groan sleepily. There's a click then another voice.
"Hello honey, did I disturb you?" suddenly I feel more awake.
"Yama, you woke me up, but I'm glad you did!" another voice pipes up the in the background.
"Mommy! Me talk!"
"Taichi, my angel. How is he?"
"He's just fine." Matt says reassuringly.
"And how about you? Not missing me too much I hope."
"I miss you more each moment you're away." I roll my eyes at that comment.
"You sound like one of our songs."
"Ooh, maybe I should write one about it!" he jokes. "Oh, did you get the flowers?"
"Uh huh, thank you sweetie." there's a silence for a second.
"Mimi?"
"Yes, Matt?"
"If you see the others, give them my love."
"I will."
"And don't worry about anything."
"I won't. Give Taichi a big kiss for me and tell him I'll be home soon."
"Sure - Taichi be careful! I'd better go..." I smile as I hear a loud crash. "Taichi! Argh he's knocked over a plant! Love you Meems."
"Love you too, Yama." I murmur just before he hangs up. Matt's a brilliant father, very patient with his son. I remember his face when I told him I was pregnant, I wasn't sure whether he was going to burst with pride or faint! My stomach begins to growl, so I pick up the phone again and dial room service. I'm going to have a huge dinner; then unpack some of my cases; have a long hot bath then finally get some more sleep.
*~*~*
Is it morning already? No, it can't be it's still dark. Wait, what's that? It's a light. I walk towards it, but it seems to move backwards as I move to it; so it's always equidistant to me. There's a noise, it sounds like...someone whispering my name again and again - creepy. It sends shivers down my spine as it echoes around me; sometimes loud, sometimes barely audible. I stop walking, and the light flickers then begins to move towards me. There's someone there, trapped in the brightness.
"Mimi, Mimi, Mimi..." it continues to echo around me, filling my head. I want to block it out but it gets louder as the light gets nearer.
"Mimi, Mimi, Mimi, Mimi...forgive, forgive, forgive..." the words change, and the figure's beginning to come closer.
"Forgive, forgive, forgive, Mimi, forgive, MimiforgiveMimiforgive..." the words are starting to get faster and get stuck together. I now realise what they're saying...
"Mimi forgive me, Mimi forgive me..." I still can't see who the figure is, it's a woman, but who? "Mimi forgive me, Mimi forgive me..." the words are so loud now that I'm finding it hard to even think. Suddenly the room begins to spin, or is it me?
"Mimi forgive me, Mimi forgive me, MimiMimiMimiMimi..."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!"
I scream and sit up, gasping for air. It was all a dream, a dream. I can feel sweat running down my face mixed with tears. The sun shines brightly through my window and I check my clock - it's 10.24am. I jump out of bed and go to the bathroom for a shower, hopefully it will clear my head of that awful nightmare. As I shower I decide what to wear. The weather's pretty good so I think I'll wear my new white shirt and my favourite pink skirt.
I love walking. Strange, isn't it? Back in the Digital World I despised it but now I'd rather walk than drive or cycle. Here I am, wandering along the streets not caring where I go when suddenly I realise I'm stood outside Odaiba Elementary! Now this place brings back memories! I remember coming here to go to the Digital World when Davis, Yolei and Cody first discovered they were DigiDestined. I was over for a visit when I noticed the school gates open so I thought I'd take a look around. When I got to the computer room I found them there with TK and Kari, ready to go on a picnic. That was a fun day. How strange, the gate's open...no way, it couldn't be, could it? Only one way to find out! I walk through and head into the school. To my absolute joy I find the computer room open and on one of the computers...an open Digiport! It's a good thing I always carry my Digivice! I grab it from my waist and point it at the computer - here we go again!
*~*~*
I land in a heap on a pile of sand. The beach. I'm here, I'm really here! I once again feel tears in my eyes, but I blink them back. I stand up, brush the sand off my skirt, and walk along looking for a certain something, praying it's still here. I guess my prayers are answered because a little way along I see it - our tree. I run up to find a Gekomon sat in the shade. I laugh joyfully as I see it, he must have heard because the next thing I know he stands up.
"Princess!" he exclaims. "Princess I knew you'd return!" as I reach him I grab hold of his hands and spin his around and around.
"I missed you!" I'm grinning so much I swear it feels like my cheeks may burst.
"I have to get the others! We'll have a huge party to celebrate!" the little Gekomon sprints away to find his friends. I stand for a moment, staring at the tree. I reach out and trace the words engraved there 'Mimi and Matt - together forever'. Finally I let the tears I've been holding back fall free. I fling myself at the tree and hug it, I admit it must look rather strange but I can't help it. I'm clinging on the tree as if my life depends on it.
"Who's that?"
"What a strange lady, she's hugging a tree!"
"Oh my..."
Voices. The last one fades out as I turn to face them. Stood a little distance from me are 10 figures - 5 people and 5 Digimon. 8 of them I've never seen before, but two are very familiar - Tai and Agumon.
"Mi...mi...?" Tai stutters, obviously in shock.
"Tai?" I whisper. Suddenly he runs towards me, and I run to him. We meet in the middle and hold each other tightly.
"It's been so long!" he whispers in my ear. "I've missed you."
"Ditto." I whisper back. Soon we're both crying, I can feel Tai's tears soaking through my shirt.
"Where's Matt?" he asks.
"At home with Taichi. I'm in Odaiba for a few days."
"Oh, I see. Is everything ok?" I nod.
"Yes, thank you." I wipe a tear from his cheek and smile into those chocolate brown eyes. He grins, then turns to the group.
"Everyone this is my friend Mimi Tachika..." I nudge him with my elbow. "Sorry, Mimi Ishida. She's one of the original DigiDestined, like myself." the children all say hello. "Now the introduction's over let's go home! See ya soon Agumon!"
"Bye Tai, it was nice to see you again Mimi. Do you have a message for Palmon?" Agumon tilts his head on one side. I freeze for a second, then sadly shake my head.
"Please, don't tell her you saw me. She'd only get upset." I tell him.
"OK, bye everyone!" Agumon runs off, and we all head back to the Digiport.
Pretty soon myself and Tai are stood outside the school. The DigiDestined have gone home.
"I can't believe you're still helping them! I thought TK or one of the younger ones might have taken over." I exclaim. He smiles at the ground.
"No way! It's cool, I love helping them."
"That's ok then." I smile at him.
"So, do ya wanna drink? There's a nice little cafe nearby." he looks at me rather hopefully.
"Sure, just as long as you're paying!" I tease.
"Of course, actually I insist on paying!" he announces. I laugh, then take his arm as we walk.
*~*~*
When we got to the cafe we decided to have our drinks to go then head over to the park. So here we are, sat on a bench sipping our coffee.
"How long has it been?" Tai asks me.
"Since what?"
"Since you were last here?"
"Six years or so."
"Wow, that long?" I nod my head.
"You haven't changed much, have you?" I say honestly. He laughs.
"I guess not."
"Tai?" I turn to look at him. "How are the others? I haven't spoken to you all in ages." he looks up at me.
"They're all good. TK and Kari are really happy and really miss you guys. They were sorry you couldn't get to the wedding." Tai pauses for a second. "Hey how are Matt and Taichi?"
"They're wonderful." I smile, and hand him the photo.
"Wow he's got big." he smiles. "He looks just like you guys."
"You missed someone Tai." I say gently. He looks up at me in confusion. "What about Sora?" he suddenly looks pained at the mention of her name.
"I wish I knew..." he sighs sadly.
"What do you mean?" I inquire. He turns away from me as he continues.
"You know we were engaged, well we kinda hit a rough spot recently..."
"And?" I urge him on gently.
"She broke off the engagement and moved out."
"What? Oh no Tai, I'm so sorry!" he looks really upset. "What happened?!"
"She...she told me she didn't love me anymore." he suddenly blurts out. "It was a total shock. We were just sitting on the beach when she suddenly said it. She said she'd found someone new and that she was madly in love with him."
"That's terrible. Have you tried to talk to her?" I feel so bad about this, if I'd have been here perhaps I could've helped...he just shakes his head.
"I don't think I could if I saw her..." he breaks down, and I put an arm around his shoulder. "I really loved her Mimi I thought she felt the same!"
"Shhhh..." I try to comfort him but he's so distraught.
"What is it like Mimi? To be totally in love? I mean you and Matt have this perfect relationship..." I put a finger to his lips.
"It's not perfect Tai, nothing's ever perfect. We've had our ups and downs just like any relationships; ok so we've had more ups than downs recently but look at our past! I'd hardly call it perfect, would you?" he shakes his head.
"Sorry, I guess I was being selfish." he sighs. "Look, can I walk you back to your hotel?" I nod.
"On two conditions."
"Which are?"
"One - don't tell anyone that you saw me, I can't cope with anymore emotion at the moment. Two - the next time you see Sora, talk to her. Try and clear the air, or I'll never forgive you."
"Ok, it won't be easy, but I promise." we stand up and head back towards the hotel.
*~*~*
Almost as soon as I enter the hotel, I'm pounced on by the manager. He's an ok guy, he's the only one here who actually knows who I am because I spoke to him on the phone to arrange my room.
"Hello, Mrs. Ishida." he greets me quietly. "There's someone waiting for you in your room."
"There is?" he just nods. "Ok thank you." now I'm very confused. I head up to my room via the lift. I take a deep breath as I turn the key in the lock of the door and open it.
"Mommy!"
I don't know whether I should be happy or angry. As I enter my room I'm pounced on by a small chestnut haired boy. His blue eyes sparkle merrily as he holds his arms out to me.
"Taichi?" I exclaim as I pick my son up.
"Hello honey." a deep voice says sheepishly from the other side of the room.
"Yamato Ishida!" I say, half scoldingly and half laughing, "How dare you!"
"Sorry, but Taichi missed you!" he grins, those beautiful blue eyes of his glittering in the dying sunlight. I can't stay mad at him for more than two seconds. I walk over to him and put my spare arm around his neck and kiss him.
"My two favourite boys." I sigh. "I missed you both so much." Matt kisses the top of my head.
"What have you been doing today?" he asks.
"I went to the Digital World." I reply, he looks shocked. "You remember that Gekomon you told me about? He was still there, guarding the tree."
"Really? Wow!"
"And I also met the new DigiDestined...and Tai."
"Tai? How is he?" He seems a little...cautious? I don't know for sure, but there was just something in his voice that didn't seem right.
"He's pretty low at the moment, he and Sora have split up."
"Really, why?" His astonishment, or rather lack of it, surprises me, but I decide not to mention it.
"Long story, I'll tell you everything when Taichi's in bed."
"Ok." he says gently, and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I love you, Mimi Ishida. The real reason I'm here is because I want to be with you, I want to be by your side through everything and anything."
"Oh Yama." I whisper back. "I want you with me always and forever."
"Good, cos that's where I'm gonna be." I roll my eyes at him.
"You sound like a song again...hey where did you phone me from yesterday?"
"The airport, we were just about to depart."
"So Taichi didn't push a plant over?"
"Actually he did. There was a huge pot plant near the phone." I laugh, then notice Taichi has drifted off to sleep in my arms. I kiss his forehead then place him on the bed. He looks so peaceful and carefree, just as he should. Matt walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, I can feel his warm breath on my neck as he holds me tightly; I never want him to let go. I just know that I will sleep well tonight because he's here.
*~*~*
The next morning I wake up to discover Matt and Taichi already up. Taichi runs over to hug me as Matt stands solemnly at the window. I look into his eyes and nod, today's the day.
"Do you want some breakfast honey?" he asks me gently.
"No. I'm not hungry." I reply quickly. Actually my stomach's aching because I'm so hungry, but I really don't feel up to eating.
"You really ought to try and eat something, I had something at the cafe down the street because Taichi woke up at about 7 and I didn't want to disturb you." I shake my head.
"I can't Matt. I just need a shower then I'll be fine." I jump out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I'm not really in a talkative mood, there's too many thoughts going round in my head.
I hate black. It makes me think of bad things - darkness, evil, loneliness, misery...yet here I am, putting on a black dress. I guess it's appropriate. Matt's wearing a black suit, it goes so well with his hair and eyes. Taichi's dancing around, giggling. Lucky thing doesn't know what's happening. He's too little to understand sorrow.
"Mimi? It's time to go." I look up at Matt, and nod my head. As we walk out to the limo which he's ordered I feel those butterflies return to my stomach. Sometimes I hate reality, it sucks. I wish I could only live in my dreams, the good times. Unfortunately I have to do this, or it will stain my conscience forever...
Forgiveness is not a choice
It's something I cannot do
If I had a chance, to turn back time
It'd be a risk I wouldn't take
The words keep running through my head as we reach the cemetery. I hate these places more than black. We walk in silence, pushing Taichi in his buggy until we reach a grave. Slowly, almost reluctantly I walk up and fall to my knees in front of it, tears in my eyes.
"I...I'm sorry!" I suddenly wail, the pent up emotion within myself freeing itself at long last. "I wish I could have forgiven you but it was too difficult! I know he treated you badly, I know he walked all over you and I know you were only looking out for me, but the truth is I love Matt more than anyone in the world, even more than you!" I feel a lump in my throat, and I feel I can say no more. Then it dawns on me - the woman in my dream - it was her. The person who I had come to see, for today is exactly a year since the woman once known as my mother killed herself. It was about three months after Taichi's birth. I didn't realise it, but my father had left her for another woman and she was all alone in New York with no real friends to turn to. She returned to Odaiba in a deep state of depression and soon after she was found hanging from her apartment roof. A suicide note saying 'sorry' was all that was left. I cry and cry, but still I feel guilty. I now know that she truly cared, but still I can't forgive her for what she did, for letting her husband treat her the way he did, for standing by him when he hurt me. Taichi's bright voice suddenly breaks the deathly silence.
"Daddy?" he asks.
"No, I'm not your daddy." a male voice says gently. I look up and gasp. There, stood in front of Taichi, is his uncle Takeru...TK. He's not alone - stood with him are his wife Kari, Tai, Yolei, Cody, Joe, Davis and Izzy. Matt looks like he's seen a ghost, his face is so pale. I jump up and run to them, and practically throw myself into TK's arms.
"It's been so long." I sob. "I've missed you all." I make my way through them, hugging each one tightly. When I get to Tai he whispers something in my ear.
"I couldn't keep the promise, I'm sorry."
"It's ok, just make sure you keep the other one."
"I'll try, really I will." Taichi giggles. I turn and see TK holding him.
"Unca Teekay!" Taichi squeals. "Antay Kawi!" Tai grins.
"Cute, real cute." he remarks, then makes his way over to Matt, his best friend.
I'm glad Tai broke his promise. It made me realise just how much I need support from my friends and how much I really missed them. It was scary thinking about seeing them again, but now I have it just seems so...unreal. Perhaps it was all a dream, a beautiful dream? As dreams are a big part of my life I wouldn't be surprised if it was. However it wasn't - it was reality. Seeing the others again has made me realise that I've been separating my life into two things - dreams being the good stuff and reality the bad; but now I can see that reality isn't necessarily bad, and dreams aren't always good. Actually this whole experience has brought me to one huge conclusion - the most important things in life are trust, sincerity and friendship. If you take these things for granted then you're a bad person, which in a way makes me a bad person because I didn't trust and lied to the people most dear to me - my friends.