by Megan Auffart
I'm sorry. This story turned out remarkable anti-atheist. It's a really good story, though! It has a point to it and it reflects my personal beliefs. If you don't agree with them, fine. But realize that I really am not trying to push my religion onto you and maybe screwed up the message of the story so that it seems to say that if you aren't Christian, you're going to be miserable in the afterlife. That isn't the message I intended, but I'm not going to risk screwing up an otherwise really good story to change it. I have no idea how happy you'll be when you'll die. So if this story offends you, please forgive me. Thank you!
********************************
"Bus tours! Get yer bus tours here! Heaven or Hell! Your choice! Get 'em while they're hot!"
I snorted and looked at the man who was shouting. He wore a black top hat and a long coat that reached his knees. A long nose poked out from above his thick, spitty lips and below his rabbit eyes. I shivered to think of what his body must look like from underneath his coat, assuming it was as ugly as the rest of him.
Despite his appearance, however, I decided to walk over and see what he was talking about. There was nothing else to do, after all. The bus terminal was empty except for the two buses glowing in the corner.
"Hey." I said, trying to play it cool. He turned a looked at me and I almost gagged. He was even more revolting up close. His skin was covered with little pox marks that dotted over his cheeks and his eyebrows were in desperate need of plucking, even if he was a guy.
"Hello there, mister. Which bus are you interested in?"
I shrugged, then pointed to the one of the left. It was a huge bus, filled to the brim with people of various ages and ethnic groups. It had the word 'HEAVEN' written on it in big letters and it looked like it had really comfortable seats.
Chiron grinned, revealing crooked, yellow teeth. "Good choice, man. Wonderful accommodations, that one has!"
He stopped talking and looked at me expectantly.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Your ticket." He explained.
I shook my head. "What ticket? Am I supposed to have one?"
Chiron rolled his eyes. "Yes, of course. If you don't have a ticket to Heaven, you aren't allowed on the bus. Sorry."
I glared at him. "Okay. Fine, then. How about the other bus?"
I really didn't want to get on the bus on the right, though. There were a bunch of rather nasty looking characters on it and the seats looked like the kind that had gum on the bottom of them and no cushions. Plus, the bus driver looked a bit too much like Hitler for my tastes. Still, it was better than being stuck here.
Chiron's hand was held out and I snorted in disbelief.
"Are you serious?" I asked him. "I need a ticket to Hell, too?"
The engines revved and I looked up, alarmed. There were no other buses in the terminal that I could see. If they left without me....
"You need a ticket to get on any the buses. No exceptions. Sheesh, man! What'd you spend you're life doing, anyways?"
"Living." I answered back, calculating my chances of rushing onto one of the buses before anyone could stop me.
"No, no!" Chiron shook his head. "I mean, what religion were you? Maybe you're in the wrong line."
I looked at my feet. "I was an atheist. I didn't have a religion."
"Well," said Chiron, clapping me on my back. "That explains it, kid. You didn't believe in anything when you were alive, so why should we bother sending you to somewhere you claimed didn't exist in the first place?"
The bus horn honked and Chiron looked up.
"Whoops. Gotta go, kid. Good luck to ya!" Chiron jumped on a bus. I didn't see which one, but he seemed happy with it. Suddenly, there was a big flash of light and the buses disappeared. I was in the bus terminal alone.
"Hello?" I shouted, hearing my voice echo off the walls. No one answered.
"Dammit!" I swore and picked a random direction to start walking in. Maybe, eventually, I could find a bus that would take me. Maybe.
Feeling awfully alone, I began my search.