I was talking to friend about the game Paper Mario when I came up with the idea for this fic. I'd like to first say to Nintendo that I shall never apologize to them because of copyright. I CAME UP WITH NINTENDO! WHO CARES HOW MANY YEARS IT WAS AFTER YOU RELEASED IT! The Mario Brothers seek their revenge on Harry Potter for turning today's children away from video games and towards reading. Enjoy!
Harry couldn't believe it. He had actually stolen Dudley's SNES, complete with the original Super Mario Bros (apparently, magic wasn't enough for him). Dudley, being the idiot that he was, had taken a few hours to realize that that big thing wrapped in cords that Harry was tiptoing out of his room with was his beloved console, on which he had spent the better part of his life playing with. By then Harry had left for Hogwarts. He would worry about getting his butt kicked when he got back to Privet Drive. For now, he would just have to hook up the SNES into the outlet (who says that only Muggles can make use of electricty?) and play Super Mario Bros.
It was nighttime and Harry had snuck out of his dorm into the common room, while wearing his invisibility. He inserted the game into the console, and he turned it on. He could not wait to play.
But at the title screen, Mario and Luigi jumped out of the TV (don't ask me why Hogwarts has a TV, they just do).
"You shall a-pay for a-stealing our a-spotlight," proclaimed Mario in his obviously fake Italian accent, just before jumping on Harry's head. Luigi was silent, but he followed up Mario's performance by also jumping on Harry's head.
"HOW DARE YOU!" Harry yelled while pulling out his wand and pointing it straight at Mario. "Avada kedavra!"
But nothing happened. Harry then realized that Mad Eye Moody (or Barty Crouch, who cares which one?) told his class that their death spell would be utterly useless at this point. So he did the next best thing. The Cruciatus Curse. Harry had forgotten the magic words to go along with it, and the author of this story is too lazy to look it up for him, but he pulled it off anyway.
Mario fell on the floor and was twitching histerically. "YOU A-SHALL A-NOT A-DO THAT TO MY A-BROTHER!" Luigi shouted. And at that he pulled a fire flower from... um... out of his pocket... yeah, that's right... out of his pocket. He ate it and his overalls turned from green to white. "DIE!" Luigi screamed as he hurled a fireball at Harry.
Harry dodged the fireball, but in doing that he lost his concentration and Mario's curse was broken.
"Now to finish you off!" Mario exclaimed at the top of his lungs (it would seem ironic that he would say such a thing considering so far he had barely started, but being put under one of the Unforgivable Curses even for only a few seconds can cause brain damage and memory loss. Read the Wizard General's Warning). Mario then took out his kazoo and played on it :insert Twilight Zone music here: the Super Mario Bros. theme :insert Super Mario Bros. theme here:.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Harry yelled, "ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And then, the unthinkable, except in the case of the Super Mario Bros. theme's case, happened. Harry Potter's head exploded.
"YAAAAAAAAHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" exclaimed the celebrating Super Mario Bros. as they were running back into the TV screen, in which they were thoroughly clobbered by Bowser afterwards.
Harry couldn't believe it. He had actually stolen Dudley's SNES, complete with the original Super Mario Bros (apparently, magic wasn't enough for him). Dudley, being the idiot that he was, had taken a few hours to realize that that big thing wrapped in cords that Harry was tiptoing out of his room with was his beloved console, on which he had spent the better part of his life playing with. By then Harry had left for Hogwarts. He would worry about getting his butt kicked when he got back to Privet Drive. For now, he would just have to hook up the SNES into the outlet (who says that only Muggles can make use of electricty?) and play Super Mario Bros.
It was nighttime and Harry had snuck out of his dorm into the common room, while wearing his invisibility. He inserted the game into the console, and he turned it on. He could not wait to play.
But at the title screen, Mario and Luigi jumped out of the TV (don't ask me why Hogwarts has a TV, they just do).
"You shall a-pay for a-stealing our a-spotlight," proclaimed Mario in his obviously fake Italian accent, just before jumping on Harry's head. Luigi was silent, but he followed up Mario's performance by also jumping on Harry's head.
"HOW DARE YOU!" Harry yelled while pulling out his wand and pointing it straight at Mario. "Avada kedavra!"
But nothing happened. Harry then realized that Mad Eye Moody (or Barty Crouch, who cares which one?) told his class that their death spell would be utterly useless at this point. So he did the next best thing. The Cruciatus Curse. Harry had forgotten the magic words to go along with it, and the author of this story is too lazy to look it up for him, but he pulled it off anyway.
Mario fell on the floor and was twitching histerically. "YOU A-SHALL A-NOT A-DO THAT TO MY A-BROTHER!" Luigi shouted. And at that he pulled a fire flower from... um... out of his pocket... yeah, that's right... out of his pocket. He ate it and his overalls turned from green to white. "DIE!" Luigi screamed as he hurled a fireball at Harry.
Harry dodged the fireball, but in doing that he lost his concentration and Mario's curse was broken.
"Now to finish you off!" Mario exclaimed at the top of his lungs (it would seem ironic that he would say such a thing considering so far he had barely started, but being put under one of the Unforgivable Curses even for only a few seconds can cause brain damage and memory loss. Read the Wizard General's Warning). Mario then took out his kazoo and played on it :insert Twilight Zone music here: the Super Mario Bros. theme :insert Super Mario Bros. theme here:.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Harry yelled, "ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!!!!!! IT'S SO ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And then, the unthinkable, except in the case of the Super Mario Bros. theme's case, happened. Harry Potter's head exploded.
"YAAAAAAAAHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" exclaimed the celebrating Super Mario Bros. as they were running back into the TV screen, in which they were thoroughly clobbered by Bowser afterwards.