Title: The Best Christmas Ever, part 7 of 7
Author: Depudor
Email: l_brew@email.msn.com
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Steven Antin and Columbia/Tristar Television. No infringement intended.
Summary: This is the sequel to Winter Wonderland. Jake and Hamilton spend Christmas together and compete to give each other the best present, but find their desires - and intentions - to be at odds with each other.
Thanks: To beta beauties Debi and Sue for their support and encouragement, and to Wonka for letting herself get roped into it.
Feedback: Please.
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With the pile of presents under the tree reduced to a heap of paper, ribbon, and bows, Jake began helping Hamilton gather up his gifts to take upstairs.
"I think we're going to have to make two trips," Hamilton said.
"At least." She followed him toward the stairs as Kate walked back in from the dining room.
"Don't run off, guys," Kate called. "Stay here and we can play a game or something."
"I think we've got enough stuff to play with," Hamilton replied, his arms full.
"No, I mean, altogether, as a family."
"Oh, um, maybe tomorrow, Mom. I'm kind of tired."
"Oh, come on, guys. I'll even let you put some brandy in your eggnog."
"Kate!" Dean Fleming called from the dining room. "We don't offer alcohol to students."
"Oh, Steven, it's Christmas."
"Lawsuits don't take holidays."
Hamilton shook his head. "Later, Mom," he called as he followed Jake up the stairs.
They hurried into Hamilton's room, dumped the gifts onto the trundle bed and closed the door. For a few seconds they just looked at each other, then sighed with relief that they were finally alone together. A huge smile broke out on Hamilton's face, prompting one from Jake.
"Merry Christmas, Jake."
"Merry Christmas, Hamilton." She shook her head. "You didn't have to do all that."
"I wanted to." He stepped up close to her and took her hands.
"But it was so much. Aren't your parents going to think-"
"That you're the most important person in the world to me?" He licked his lips and kissed her softly. "I think they already know."
Now it was Jake's turn for some thirst-quenching. It was the first time he had kissed her since they'd played in the snow the day before. And she was relieved that he seemed back to normal after the incident with his mother. She knew she should argue with him, tell him that they should be more careful not to draw his parents' suspicion, but all she could think about was kissing those lips again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought her lips to his, holding him as close as she possibly could, so close she could feel his quickening heartbeat through all their mutual layers of sweaters and shirts. She would have been happy to drown like that, never coming up for air, but Hamilton kept trying to say something...
"Don't --" He could barely get the word out, because she recaptured his lips before he could say more. He tried again: "Don't you--" Again she cut him off with another kiss. Finally he pulled away long enough to ask, "Don't you want to open the rest of your presents?"
She raised a curious eyebrow. "How many more presents are there?"
Hamilton disentangled himself from her arms and gave her a small, challenging smile. "Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?"
"For the best Christmas ever."
Jake looked down and shook her head, but came up grinning. She laced her fingers together and tried to crack her knuckles. "Let the games begin."
They backed away from each other slowly, cautiously, as if counting paces in a duel. Then they turned away quickly, each diving for their corner. Hamilton threw open his closet and pulled out two more wrapped packages. Jake, meanwhile, dropped to her knees in front of the large suitcase that she had warned him to stay away from. She rummaged around inside, keeping the top lowered so he wouldn't be able to see. She pulled out a large box.
Hamilton sat down cross-legged on the bed and patted the spot next to him. "Come here."
She sat down and carefully examined the present he handed her. "Nice, Ham. You wrap this yourself?"
"Just open it already."
She ripped away the gold paper, lifted the lid of the box, and pushed aside the tissue paper to see a strip of black leather with a silver buckle.
"A belt?" she said with surprise.
"Yeah. Don't you like it?"
"No, it's great. It's just... not what I was expecting."
"You were expecting something for Jacqueline."
"Well, yeah."
Hamilton shrugged. "I wanted to get something for Jake, too. Something you can wear to class, that'll make you think of me."
"I don't have to wear something from you to think about you in class. I do that anyway." She smiled and kissed him, then added, "But thank you, Hamilton. That's actually really sweet. And Jake will wear it every day."
Hamilton wrinkled his nose. "What if it doesn't match your shoes?"
Jake laughed and handed him the plain brown box she had pulled from her suitcase.
"You're not so much into wrapping, huh?" he observed.
"I didn't have any paper. And Jake's way too cool a dude to be buyin' that stuff."
But before Hamilton could even lift the lid off the box, there was a knock on the door. Jake grabbed the box back, got up from Hamilton's bed and sat down on the trundle.
"Yeah?" Hamilton called.
Kate opened the door and poked her head in. "Merry Christmas, guys. Hamilton, I want you ready for church by 10:30, so if you're not up by 10:00, I'm waking you."
"Fine."
"Jake, you're welcome to join us if you'd like."
"Sure, thanks."
"We'll see you in the morning. Good night."
"Goodnight, Mom. And thanks for everything."
"Yeah, thanks Mrs. Fleming. I wasn't expecting all the gifts. That was really great."
"You're welcome." Kate lingered again for a moment, then disappeared and closed the door after her.
Jake got up off the trundle bed and smiled with relief, but Hamilton's eyes lingered on the belt. He bit his lip and looked away, bothered by something. She sat down next to him again and put her hand on his knee.
"What?" she asked.
He turned back to her with eyes that wavered somewhere between sadness and guilt. "I'm sorry you didn't get to take a break from being guy."
Jake smiled and ran one finger along his lower lip. "I could take a break right now," she whispered.
She knew he wasn't going to object. Reaching under her sweater, she removed her corset and tossed it aside. Hamilton's eyes begged her to keep going. She grabbed the bottom of her blue sweater and pulled it up over her head, static electricity pulling up strands of her hair as it went. Underneath, she wore a charcoal gray turtleneck, one of several she'd brought with her to Hamilton's house since turtlenecks were handy for obscuring the fact that she didn't have an Adam's apple.
Jake looked at Hamilton. His eyes were eating her, gazing hungrily from her face down to her chest, where the gray cotton of the turtleneck curved and clung to breasts now free from the corset. His eyes climbed back up to her face. She gave him a small but inviting smile. He reached up to cup her breasts, his thumbs running back and forth until he could feel her nipples through her shirt and bra. She kept her eyes on him as her mouth slowly opened and her breathing grew deeper. Then his hands moved to grasp the hem of her shirt. She lifted her arms, and he pulled it up over her head. The long neck stretched and molded to her face and then begrudgingly released her head. Hamilton smiled teasingly at her as he tossed it to the floor.
"What?"
"Your hair's standing up."
"Oh, yeah, it's the gel," she said, feeling her head. "I should go wash my hair."
"No way."
"No?"
"No. That would involve me letting go of you for ten minutes, and I don't think I could handle that right now." He paused, reading her thoughts, then added, "And I don't think it's safe for us to sneak off to the bathroom together."
"Oh, *now* you worry about that."
Hamilton smiled just slightly, the intensity of his gaze not wavering. "I'll admit, sometimes when I'm thinking about you, I don't think." He reached out to her again and laid his hands on her bare shoulders, running his thumbs under the straps of her tan-colored bra. His eyes asked her if he could take it off. She nodded. He leaned forward, reached behind her. Unhooking it on the first try, he pulled the straps down and threw the bra aside, his gaze lingering for a moment, just taking her in.
He didn't have to cover much distance as he leaned to kiss her, his fingers creeping up again to run over her breasts. She slid her hands up his chest but pulled her mouth away from his.
"Hamilton, we seem to have a clothing inequality problem here."
She looked down to indicate his sweater. Here she was, half-naked, and he was still fully dressed. Hamilton just smiled and lifted his arms. She pulled the sweater over his head so that only a T-shirt stood between her and the chest that she'd been dying to see uncovered since he'd picked up a rolling pin that afternoon. She ran her hands underneath his shirt as Hamilton wrapped his arms around her and dipped his mouth into her neck. His lips quickly found the sensitive spot he had teased her about while lying in the snow the day before. Jake felt a jet of heat melt through her.
"Ooh," she gasped, not intending to make a sound but unable to avoid it.
That one syllable that escaped her lips was all it took to send Hamilton over the hurdle to full arousal. He sighed deeply into her neck and resisted when he felt her pulling away, until he realized that she just wanted to pull off his T-shirt. He beat her to it, and his shirt was on the floor in a heartbeat.
As much as Jake wanted to lean into him again and feel his bare chest against hers, she had to sit back for a moment just to stare at his crew-developed shoulders.
She didn't know why his shoulders did that to her.
But Hamilton couldn't take her being that far away. He reached around her and dug his fingers into her shoulder blades as he pulled her toward him. She crawled forward on her knees so that she was in his lap, straddling him, wool slacks against khakis. They kissed again, deeper, the passion building, hands groping everywhere. Jake finally pulled away for a calming breath, and they both opened their eyes to gaze at each other. Hamilton cradled her face, kissing her nose and then the space between her eyebrows.
"Hey, I've got an idea," he whispered.
"What?"
"What did you have on last night when you were coming downstairs?"
Jake smiled and climbed off of Hamilton's lap. Opening her other suitcase, she pulled out a very short silk robe, peachy-beige with lace trim. "Just this."
"Wow. Just that, huh?"
She slipped into it and then unbuttoned her slacks and stepped out of them. The robe was short enough to reveal her boxers but long enough that when she pulled the boxers down and stepped out of those, Hamilton couldn't tell if she had panties on underneath.
"Grrrr..."
They both froze as soon as he made the noise, then Hamilton just laughed and crooked a finger toward her. "Come here."
She crawled back onto the bed, but instead of cozying up to Hamilton, she stretched out next to him and propped her head up on one arm. "So, what do you think?" she asked.
Hamilton let his eyes travel the entire length of her, from her eyes to her lips, then down her lean body that was normally hidden under baggy clothes but was now so beautifully displayed in the negligee. His gaze passed over her slender hips, her legs, all the way to her toes... and then back to her legs. They were shaved, he noticed. Soft and smooth. Another Christmas present for him...
It reminded him that he still had another Christmas present for her. "I think," he said slowly as he got up, "I've got another gift for you." He picked up a tiny box and handed it to her.
"But it's your turn to open one," she protested.
"Yeah, but this one goes together with the last one. That was for Jake, and this is for Jacqueline."
Jake sat up and took the present. She tore off the wrapping to find a little velvet-covered box from a jewelry store. "Hamilton..." she started, almost afraid to open it. She looked up at him, and he cocked his head to the side and shrugged a shoulder like it was no big deal. She slowly cracked open the lid, and two diamond earrings sparkled out at her. "Hamilton!" she cried, almost scolding him.
"What?"
"Tell me these aren't real. No, never mind, I've seen enough diamonds in my mother's jewelry box to know that they're real."
"What's the problem?"
"You're spending way too much money on me."
"Jake, I'm not exactly in the poorhouse here. I've saved up a lot of money, and I've never had anyone to spend it on. Except my mom, and she doesn't like diamonds." He smiled and sat down next to her, then leaned in and playfully rubbed his nose against hers. "Besides, diamonds say 'I love you.'"
"I thought diamonds said 'forever.'"
"Maybe they say, 'I love you forever.'" With that, he kissed her softly on the lips.
But Jake shook her head. "Hamilton, jewelry doesn't tell someone you love them."
"So what does?"
His face was still right in front of hers, and as she opened her lips to form a response she found herself lost in his eyes. She had been in that same circumstance before, when all ability to think or speak eluded her and she was overwhelmed by the desire to kiss him. She laid a hand on his cheek and did exactly that.
His hands held her head as he returned the kiss. Soon she was in his lap again, straddling him again. She kissed him all over -- lips, chin, nose, cheek... Each kiss was an apology for reacting the way she did, when she knew he was just trying to make her happy. Each kiss was a thank-you that she had failed to utter.
Hamilton slid his fingers down her neck and pulled open the front of her negligee. He pushed it back off her shoulders. She lowered her arms and let the silk slide down her back to her waist. Her bare chest was against his again now, but she pulled away just enough to run her fingers down to his waist, where she started to undo his belt. A high-pitched noise escaped his throat, and she knew she was at last getting to the one place he most wanted her to touch. She unbuckled the belt and unbuttoned his pants, still kissing him all the while.
Not one to waste time, Hamilton slid Jake off of his lap and jumped to his feet. He dropped his khakis and stepped out of them, standing before her in nothing but his boxers. Jake smiled -- he was always so ready to take off his clothes. He'd spent half the summer with no shirt on, and even though his deep tan had finally faded away, his chest was just as chiseled and beautiful as it was in those afternoons she remembered at the lake, his legs still boyishly lean beneath wisps of dark hair.
Now she was the one who was overdressed, so she removed her negligee to reveal matching panties of the same peachy-beige silk. Hamilton's lips parted and almost trembled as he beheld her mostly-naked body, and that reaction immediately made her feel more at ease. He smiled and crawled back on the bed, lying down and gently pulling her down next to him.
They continued kissing deep, wet kisses. He tilted her head back and ran his tongue down to the place that sent shivers through her. Then his lips moved further down her chest to her breasts. She closed her eyes tight and exhaled, grabbing at his hair.
They'd been this far before, farther. But Jake felt a strange excitement that she'd never known before, because this time was different. She didn't know if it was the temperature in the room or just her, but she felt incredibly warm. Hamilton's breath was hot against her chest as he went from licking her nipples to gently sucking her breasts. His body came down against hers as his lips moved back up her chest to her neck and his fingers slid down over her panties and between her legs.
She felt the slightest tickle in her stomach. 'Don't get nervous,' she told herself. 'There's no reason to get nervous.'
And then suddenly there was a reason, because his fingers had slipped inside her panties, and her attention was diverted from the licks of his tongue on her neck.
"Hamilton--" she whispered, though she didn't really want to interrupt him.
"Sorry," he replied, pulling his fingers out and looking up at her like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"No, it's OK. I just..."
"What? Too fast?"
"No, but... We didn't finish unwrapping the presents."
Hamilton had to laugh. "Are you serious?"
"You're two up on me right now, racked up some major points. I get a chance to fight back, don't I?"
"You know, maybe we could just drop the whole contest thing."
"Chicken?"
"No, I -- Why? You got something better than diamonds?"
"You tell me."
She pushed Hamilton off of her and got up off the bed. He turned on his side and propped his head up on his elbow, watching her with mounting curiosity. She went back to her suitcase, shuffled a few things around, and pulled out a tiny box, a jewelry box just like the one he had given her.
"I was going to save this for last," she said, handing it to him. "But go ahead."
He smiled and lay down on his back. "I guess we were on the same wavelength."
"More or less," she replied. She sat down next to him and leaned back against the pillows.
"So, is this a ring, or do you want me to get my ear pierced?"
"Yeah, Hamilton. I want you to get your ear pierced. Because people need another reason to think that you're gay."
He smirked and shot back, "You're the one who wears the black leather jacket and the aviator shades. That's so George Michael."
Jake accepted that and directed his attention back to the gift. "Just think, what's the one thing you really want for Christmas?"
With a lusty smile, Hamilton looked up at her and replied, "You know what the one thing is I want for Christmas, and she doesn't fit in a little box." He turned over, his head level with her chest, and softly placed his wet lips on her breast, then gently nibbled her nipple. He looked up at her again and whispered, "I want you, Jake. That's all I want."
"I want you, too, Hamilton," she said softly, gazing back at him. "Open your present." With heightened curiosity, Hamilton sat up and cracked the lid of the ring box. His jaw slowly dropped, and he pulled out of the little box a gold-foil-wrapped condom. He held it in his fingers for a moment, then looked at Jake.
"Merry Christmas," she said with a smile.
Hamilton gazed at her with intense love and even more intense lust in his eyes, then looked back at the condom and asked, "Just one?"
Jake laughed. "For starters. The rest of the box is in my suitcase."
Hamilton fell on top of her and kissed her. Really kissed her. Deeply, passionately, thanking her with every ounce of his being and telling her that there was no one else he wanted more to share this experience with. When he came up for air he looked at her intently again.
"Jake, you don't have to do this." The words popped out of his mouth without any forethought, but he realized that he meant it. As desperate as he was to have sex with her, he could only enjoy it if he knew that she wanted it as much as he did.
"Hamilton, I've never in my life done anything because I had to. I told you that I've been wanting this just as much as you have." She took the condom from him. "And if you don't believe me, when do you think I got these? You've spent the last four days with me. I didn't duck out to go to the drugstore."
He realized. "You had them all along. In that suitcase."
She nodded, but the look on Hamilton's face made her nervous. He didn't look so happy anymore.
His eyes narrowed as he said, "You've been willing all this time, but you waited to tell me tonight so you could win a contest?"
"Well, Hamilton, I --"
He cut her off. "I would be so mad at you right now if it weren't for the fact that you're going to have sex with me." He flashed her a grin and then kissed her again. "Come on, get up." He sprang to his feet and pulled her up so he could throw back the covers.
Since she was up, Jake bent down and opened her suitcase again. "Do you want a different kind?" she asked. "I just picked the gold one 'cause it was Christmas-y."
Hamilton turned around to see what she was talking about, and now that the suitcase was fully opened, he could see four boxes of condoms. "You bought four boxes?"
"Well, there were so many different kinds, I just --"
"No, it's cool. Most girls would feel really weird buying all those."
"I didn't do it as a girl. I did it as Jake. And he felt like a total stud."
Hamilton laughed and plucked a box out of the suitcase and set it on the nightstand. Then he walked to the door and shut off the light. Jake went to sit down on the bed, but he stopped her. "Nah-ah," he whispered. He sneaked his fingers inside the waistband of her panties and pulled them down. Jake stepped out of them, then climbed quickly into the bed and pulled up the sheet. She watched Hamilton as he yanked down his boxers and threw them aside as if it were the most casual of afterthoughts. He climbed into the bed after her. He kissed her as he rolled forward and snuggled his naked body up to her.
And that's when she realized they were really going to do this. There he was on top of her, his whole body exposed. Her whole body exposed. Their two bodies rubbing against each other with no barriers and no restraints. Jake was still trying to adjust to this as Hamilton sat up on his knees and ripped the wrapper off the condom. She looked away as he put it on.
"Are you cold?" he asked.
"No."
"You're shaking."
"OK, maybe I'm cold."
He pulled a blanket up over them, and then he sank back down on top of her to keep her warm. He loved the feel of her naked body beneath him. Running his hands over her, he loved that he could let go. Finally, he wouldn't have to control himself but could give in to the warmth that ran like little rivers through his groin, the invisible hand on his lower back that seemed to constantly push him forward, the build-up of five months of desire, ramping up in three days of absolute torture where he thought he would explode, having her so close to him all the time but unable to...be with her.
The next several moments passed like a blur, because everything was suddenly new. She was still Jacqueline, and he was still Hamilton, but now they were two people having sex. Or, trying to have sex...
For Jake, the blur gave way to a burning pain. She gritted her teeth and grabbed onto him harder.
Hamilton wasn't expecting this. Why had he thought he could just slide right into her? Oh well, he could deal. He wanted to be inside her so badly... He squeezed his eyes shut tight and gritted his teeth, thrusting himself at her again.
Nothing. Nothing but resistance. Was he in the wrong place? He went again.
Again nothing. Was he doing something wrong? He opened his eyes, and what he saw frightened him. The look on her face... Her eyes were squeezed shut, too... not from exertion but from pain.
Frustrated, he decided that the best course of action was to ask her. After all, they were best friends, they could talk about anything, right?
"Am I... you know, where I'm supposed to be?" he asked.
"Yeah, feels like it to me. What's the matter?"
"Nothing. Nothing. You feel great."
"But you're not... inside me, are you?"
"No, but you... feel great on the outside."
"Oh, well, are you going to hang around out there? Cuz it's starting to sting a little bit."
"Hey, if you're hurting, I can --"
"No, I don't want you to stop. I just want you... inside me."
Hamilton gave her a small smile, but he knew something was wrong. He bent to kiss her, and she responded, but not with her usual fervor. He felt like he was losing her. That look in her eyes, like she had gone somewhere. She wasn't with him.
He tried again, and again he got nowhere. He had to keep his eyes closed, because he couldn't stand to see that look on her face. This wasn't the erotic moment he had fantasized about all for those months, and he knew it wasn't for her either. She was still as stone, lying there, and the thought finally crossed his mind that perhaps she wasn't ready after all, either mentally or physically. He had been thinking about how much he wanted her, how it would feel to be inside her. He had never really been thinking about *her* -- whether she was ready, or whether a suitcase full of condoms really meant that she wanted this.
He opened his eyes again; she was watching him.
"Don't stop," she whispered.
"Baby, I'm hurting you."
"I figured it would hurt. I don't care."
"I care."
Hamilton gazed at her, but she looked away. The muscles in her thighs felt like steel, and it flickered through his clouded mind - in a moment of clarity - that maybe the problem wasn't between her legs. 'She's tense,' he thought. 'She's nervous. That's why she's shaking.'
Hamilton struggled to calm himself. He was still in the throes of desire, still consumed by the thought of losing his virginity. But he would force himself to try to get a grown-up thought into all that hormone-induced mess. Because he loved her. Ultimately, this was just sex and that, on its own, wasn't going to prove anything to her. Because diamonds don't say I love you, and neither does sex.
He also knew that Jake wasn't like other girls, and not just because she dressed like a boy. But because the wall that he was failing to break through was around her heart, a million defenses it had built up over time to protect itself from hurt, from abandonment, and perhaps, in spite of itself, from intimacy. Hamilton struggled to sort it out, to think of what he could do to get her to relax and trust him.
"Hamilton, talk to me..." Jake begged. She was growing even more nervous as he hovered silently above her.
Hamilton looked down at her, at those beautiful green eyes that desperately searched his face for some answer to what was wrong.
Looking at her, all rational thought went out of his head. He couldn't stop wanting -- that was beyond his abilty. He kissed her, deeply, bathing her mouth with his tongue. His hands felt down her sides, over her smooth, gently curving hips, and back up to her breasts. He kneaded them with his hands -- soft, feminine flesh, nipples that hardened at his touch. And again he was overwhelmed by the single driving need to be inside her. Just one more push...
"No!" Hamilton cried, startling both of them. He was saying it to himself, hadn't meant for it to come out loud. He looked at her again, and there were tears in her eyes. She was horrified. She covered her face with her hands, unable to look at him anymore.
"Baby, I didn't mean..." he started to say, but he wasn't sure what he meant.
"I'm doing it wrong, aren't I?" she asked, her voice muffled by the hands that covered her face.
"No, you're not doing anything wrong."
"What do you want me to do?"
Hamilton was still on top of her, still looking down at her, and now she cautiously removed her hands and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.
"I want you to take this condom off of me," he said.
Jake looked up at him quizzically. Was he suggesting that the condom was the problem?
"No, I don't mean..." He shook his head, reading her thoughts again. "I just mean we should take a break."
Now the tears spilled out of Jake's eyes. "Oh, God," she groaned. "You don't even want to now."
"No, I do want to. But maybe we're rushing things, and this feels so good right now, just like this, feeling you naked underneath me. I want to get used to this feeling."
Jake didn't say anything but avoided his gaze and then closed her eyes. Hamilton sighed and kissed her forehead. He rolled off of her, trying to calm himself. She turned away from him, and he slid his arm over her side and around her protectively. "Jake..." he whispered. "I just want to take a break. I'm not going anywhere."
She turned back around to look at him, her anxiety easing. "OK. So what do we do now?"
Hamilton looked at her eyes that reflected the ethereal glow of the moon through the window, and then he looked out through the frost-painted panes. He saw something in the distance.
"Come on," he urged her. He got up and pulled the blanket off the bed.
"Where are we going?"
"Let's sit by the window."
"Won't it be cold?"
"I'll keep you warm." Hamilton wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and sat down sideways on the window seat, putting his feet up on the seat as well. He beckoned to Jake.
She hesitated, then got up, keeping the sheet wrapped around her. She sat down opposite him on the seat and leaned back against the other wall.
"You see that big star up there?" he asked, pointing.
She looked out at the night sky. "You mean Polaris?"
"That's the Christmas star."
"Actually, it's Polaris."
"Yeah, well, my mom always told me it was the Christmas star, the one the three wise men followed."
"Could be. Polaris is a fixed star, so it's used in navigation."
Hamilton smiled. This was the geek in the girl that he loved. "So, Jake, what would you and your mom do for Christmas?"
Her face contorted again. "Oh God, Hamilton, can we not talk about that?"
He nodded, then sat silently for a moment until his eyes wandered over to his bedside clock that glowed red in the darkness. "It's midnight."
"Yeah?"
"It's Christmas."
Jake sighed. Some Christmas. She felt very strange, still embarrassed, still confused. They'd sort of had sex, but... was she still a virgin? She stared out the window, avoiding Hamilton's eyes that tried to draw her back to the conversation.
Finally she looked at him, and she let him hear the disappointment she felt as she said, "This was supposed to be the best Christmas ever."
"Jake, even if we don't have sex tonight, this is still the best Christmas I've ever had. By far. And I know you know that." He lost her again as she looked out the window, so he sat up and reached out to her. "Baby, come here."
She needed that hug more than anything. She leaned forward between Hamilton's bent knees and let him wrap his arms around her. He held her for a moment and then motioned for her to turn around. He pulled her into his blanket and she leaned back against his chest and sighed.
"I should've given you the DVD player," she quipped.
Hamilton laughed and squeezed her. "I think your present was great."
"I thought I had the trump card. The ace of spades."
"It wasn't just a game. And if it were, that wouldn't have been the winning move."
"Really? Why's that?" She turned around to look at him.
"Jake, the thing I really want most for Christmas wasn't in that little box."
"Then what is it?"
"What I want is to see you happy."
She smiled. "But I am happy. I'm with you."
"No, your being here was a consolation prize, remember? Where did you want to be for Christmas?"
Jake looked down, her smile disappearing. She turned away and leaned back against his chest. "You know, Hamilton, if you want me to be happy, you gotta stop bringing up my mother."
Hamilton dropped his mouth against her bare shoulder and sat silently for a moment. Then he kissed her. "Get up."
She turned to look at him again, and he nodded. She stood up so that he could get out from underneath her.
"I wasn't supposed to show you these yet," he said as he went to the closet and returned with the FedEx envelope that had arrived that morning.
"What?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
Hamilton sat down next to her as he reached into the envelope. Jake looked down as he placed the contents in her hand. Two plane tickets.
"What's this?" she gasped, guessing but not believing.
"Tickets to Paris."
"Is this a joke?"
"You want to see your mom, don't you?"
"Yeah, but - two tickets?
"You. Me."
"B-- Wha-- You can't just run off to Paris."
"I can for four days. I told you that my parents are going to Houston for that educators' conference. They know I don't want to go, so I convinced them to let me stay here. Only, I won't be staying here. I'll be going to Paris, with you."
Jake wrinkled her brow and looked at the tickets, still not ready to believe this until she saw the names Jacqueline Pratt and Hamilton Fleming. She shook her head. "No, Hamilton, that's too much. I can't let you-- How could you possibly afford these?"
"I didn't buy them, actually. Your mom did."
"What?"
"This is your Christmas present from your mother, or one of them anyway. She invited me to --"
"When? When did you talk to her?"
"I called her, day before yesterday."
"Why?"
"Because I was afraid you wouldn't."
"How did you get ahold of her in Paris?"
"Her cell number is programmed into your phone." He raised his eyebrows at her smugly, letting her know that she wasn't the only one in the relationship who had brains. "So anyway, she said she missed you and felt bad about missing Christmas with you, but she didn't want you to have to hang out alone in Paris while she was working, so she asked me to go with you and keep you company. But I told her I'd have to check with my parents. Then her assistant called and left a message on the machine saying that she went ahead and sent me something, but I didn't get the message until after I opened up that FedEx and found the tickets."
Jake grew nervous. "Her assistant didn't mention me, did she?"
"No, I was worried about that, too. But your mom was totally discreet. I think she figured I might not have asked my parents yet."
Jake shook her head, still letting this sink in.
"Hey, it's only fair," Hamilton continued. "You got to see what Christmas is like in the Fleming household. Now I get to see what Christmas is like in the Pratt household."
"You mean, the Pratt hotel room du jour?"
"Yeah." He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling in the starlight.
She looked at him earnestly. "This is for real?"
"Yes."
"You're going with me?"
"Yes."
"My mother, you and me, together, in Paris?"
Hamilton suddenly grew nervous. "Ohhh... You're not going to do one of those things where you get mad at me because I'm moving too fast and didn't consult you before--"
But he couldn't finish the sentence because his lips were ripped apart by the voracity of her kiss. She knocked him back against the frosted window as she wrapped herself around him.
"Ow -- cold," he murmured between kisses as the back of his neck came in contact with the frozen glass. Jake got up and led him back to the bed, and they snuggled together under the covers.
She laughed. "You know what this means, don't you?"
"What?"
"My mom won our contest."
"That's good, because if either of us had won, we'd be impossible to live with."
Jake laughed again, her full, resonant laugh.
"Shh," Hamilton hushed her, holding a finger to his lips. "Don't wake up my mom and dad." He tickled her nose with his own and kissed her.
She kissed him back and pulled him to her tightly. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, feeling like she was in a dream. Even if it was just four days... For those four days, she could be a girl. And be with Hamilton. And be with her mother. The two people she loved. The two people she needed. This really was the best Christmas present she could imagine.
She looked up at her boyfriend again. "Hamilton, what did I do to deserve you?"
"Let's see. You dressed up like a guy, messed with my head, made me think I was gay... You know, all the typical girl stuff."
She laughed again, and Hamilton, giggling himself, covered her mouth until she quieted down. She rested her head back on his chest. He was right, it was nice to get used to the feeling of lying next to him naked. Somehow lying there together wrapped in the sheets, joking around with each other, was more intimate than sex. She could hear his heartbeat, and the slow rise and fall of his chest would have rocked her to sleep had she not been so excited. After a moment she lifted her head to look up at him. His eyes were closed, his jaw slack, his lips slightly parted. He looked like he was dozing off.
She knew that she should let him sleep. It had been a difficult day for both of them, and they needed to rest. But she wasn't ready for the day to be over. She wasn't ready to stop kissing those lips. She wasn't ready to stop running her hands over his remarkably defined shoulders and chest. She wasn't ready to lose that loving blue gaze. She wasn't ready to give up on the desire to feel his body fused with hers.
Suddenly, Jake realized that she had never felt more ready.
Maybe that was why she was rubbing herself against his hip. It was that motion that brought his eyelids fluttering open again. He turned on his side and looked at her. She licked her lips then kissed him, softly at first, then pulling his bottom lip between her own, then opening up further and licking his teeth with her tongue. He responded, pulling her to him as their mouths became one.
Without a word spoken, Hamilton could tell that something had changed. He didn't know exactly what it was. Maybe he would never know. But when his body so naturally settled over hers again it was like falling into place. And when he looked down and met her warm gaze, there was no hesitation there. Only love. And the simple response that those beautiful eyes gave to him.
Yes.
It was enough to bring him back to full arousal.
As if he needed any more prompting, she reached down between his legs as her other hand grabbed another condom from the box on the nightstand. They put it on together. And then she put him exactly where she wanted him to go, giving him a squeeze to let him know that she was comfortable with this part of his body now. He sank down on top of her, his chest to hers, and grabbed her hands, pushed them up over her head and down into the pillows. Their fingers intertwined. He fought the urge to close his eyes and managed to keep them open, so he wouldn't lose that affirming gaze. He squeezed her hands, locked her eyes, took a deep breath...
"I love you," he whispered.
"I know."
And then he broke through.
THE END
Author: Depudor
Email: l_brew@email.msn.com
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Steven Antin and Columbia/Tristar Television. No infringement intended.
Summary: This is the sequel to Winter Wonderland. Jake and Hamilton spend Christmas together and compete to give each other the best present, but find their desires - and intentions - to be at odds with each other.
Thanks: To beta beauties Debi and Sue for their support and encouragement, and to Wonka for letting herself get roped into it.
Feedback: Please.
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With the pile of presents under the tree reduced to a heap of paper, ribbon, and bows, Jake began helping Hamilton gather up his gifts to take upstairs.
"I think we're going to have to make two trips," Hamilton said.
"At least." She followed him toward the stairs as Kate walked back in from the dining room.
"Don't run off, guys," Kate called. "Stay here and we can play a game or something."
"I think we've got enough stuff to play with," Hamilton replied, his arms full.
"No, I mean, altogether, as a family."
"Oh, um, maybe tomorrow, Mom. I'm kind of tired."
"Oh, come on, guys. I'll even let you put some brandy in your eggnog."
"Kate!" Dean Fleming called from the dining room. "We don't offer alcohol to students."
"Oh, Steven, it's Christmas."
"Lawsuits don't take holidays."
Hamilton shook his head. "Later, Mom," he called as he followed Jake up the stairs.
They hurried into Hamilton's room, dumped the gifts onto the trundle bed and closed the door. For a few seconds they just looked at each other, then sighed with relief that they were finally alone together. A huge smile broke out on Hamilton's face, prompting one from Jake.
"Merry Christmas, Jake."
"Merry Christmas, Hamilton." She shook her head. "You didn't have to do all that."
"I wanted to." He stepped up close to her and took her hands.
"But it was so much. Aren't your parents going to think-"
"That you're the most important person in the world to me?" He licked his lips and kissed her softly. "I think they already know."
Now it was Jake's turn for some thirst-quenching. It was the first time he had kissed her since they'd played in the snow the day before. And she was relieved that he seemed back to normal after the incident with his mother. She knew she should argue with him, tell him that they should be more careful not to draw his parents' suspicion, but all she could think about was kissing those lips again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought her lips to his, holding him as close as she possibly could, so close she could feel his quickening heartbeat through all their mutual layers of sweaters and shirts. She would have been happy to drown like that, never coming up for air, but Hamilton kept trying to say something...
"Don't --" He could barely get the word out, because she recaptured his lips before he could say more. He tried again: "Don't you--" Again she cut him off with another kiss. Finally he pulled away long enough to ask, "Don't you want to open the rest of your presents?"
She raised a curious eyebrow. "How many more presents are there?"
Hamilton disentangled himself from her arms and gave her a small, challenging smile. "Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?"
"For the best Christmas ever."
Jake looked down and shook her head, but came up grinning. She laced her fingers together and tried to crack her knuckles. "Let the games begin."
They backed away from each other slowly, cautiously, as if counting paces in a duel. Then they turned away quickly, each diving for their corner. Hamilton threw open his closet and pulled out two more wrapped packages. Jake, meanwhile, dropped to her knees in front of the large suitcase that she had warned him to stay away from. She rummaged around inside, keeping the top lowered so he wouldn't be able to see. She pulled out a large box.
Hamilton sat down cross-legged on the bed and patted the spot next to him. "Come here."
She sat down and carefully examined the present he handed her. "Nice, Ham. You wrap this yourself?"
"Just open it already."
She ripped away the gold paper, lifted the lid of the box, and pushed aside the tissue paper to see a strip of black leather with a silver buckle.
"A belt?" she said with surprise.
"Yeah. Don't you like it?"
"No, it's great. It's just... not what I was expecting."
"You were expecting something for Jacqueline."
"Well, yeah."
Hamilton shrugged. "I wanted to get something for Jake, too. Something you can wear to class, that'll make you think of me."
"I don't have to wear something from you to think about you in class. I do that anyway." She smiled and kissed him, then added, "But thank you, Hamilton. That's actually really sweet. And Jake will wear it every day."
Hamilton wrinkled his nose. "What if it doesn't match your shoes?"
Jake laughed and handed him the plain brown box she had pulled from her suitcase.
"You're not so much into wrapping, huh?" he observed.
"I didn't have any paper. And Jake's way too cool a dude to be buyin' that stuff."
But before Hamilton could even lift the lid off the box, there was a knock on the door. Jake grabbed the box back, got up from Hamilton's bed and sat down on the trundle.
"Yeah?" Hamilton called.
Kate opened the door and poked her head in. "Merry Christmas, guys. Hamilton, I want you ready for church by 10:30, so if you're not up by 10:00, I'm waking you."
"Fine."
"Jake, you're welcome to join us if you'd like."
"Sure, thanks."
"We'll see you in the morning. Good night."
"Goodnight, Mom. And thanks for everything."
"Yeah, thanks Mrs. Fleming. I wasn't expecting all the gifts. That was really great."
"You're welcome." Kate lingered again for a moment, then disappeared and closed the door after her.
Jake got up off the trundle bed and smiled with relief, but Hamilton's eyes lingered on the belt. He bit his lip and looked away, bothered by something. She sat down next to him again and put her hand on his knee.
"What?" she asked.
He turned back to her with eyes that wavered somewhere between sadness and guilt. "I'm sorry you didn't get to take a break from being guy."
Jake smiled and ran one finger along his lower lip. "I could take a break right now," she whispered.
She knew he wasn't going to object. Reaching under her sweater, she removed her corset and tossed it aside. Hamilton's eyes begged her to keep going. She grabbed the bottom of her blue sweater and pulled it up over her head, static electricity pulling up strands of her hair as it went. Underneath, she wore a charcoal gray turtleneck, one of several she'd brought with her to Hamilton's house since turtlenecks were handy for obscuring the fact that she didn't have an Adam's apple.
Jake looked at Hamilton. His eyes were eating her, gazing hungrily from her face down to her chest, where the gray cotton of the turtleneck curved and clung to breasts now free from the corset. His eyes climbed back up to her face. She gave him a small but inviting smile. He reached up to cup her breasts, his thumbs running back and forth until he could feel her nipples through her shirt and bra. She kept her eyes on him as her mouth slowly opened and her breathing grew deeper. Then his hands moved to grasp the hem of her shirt. She lifted her arms, and he pulled it up over her head. The long neck stretched and molded to her face and then begrudgingly released her head. Hamilton smiled teasingly at her as he tossed it to the floor.
"What?"
"Your hair's standing up."
"Oh, yeah, it's the gel," she said, feeling her head. "I should go wash my hair."
"No way."
"No?"
"No. That would involve me letting go of you for ten minutes, and I don't think I could handle that right now." He paused, reading her thoughts, then added, "And I don't think it's safe for us to sneak off to the bathroom together."
"Oh, *now* you worry about that."
Hamilton smiled just slightly, the intensity of his gaze not wavering. "I'll admit, sometimes when I'm thinking about you, I don't think." He reached out to her again and laid his hands on her bare shoulders, running his thumbs under the straps of her tan-colored bra. His eyes asked her if he could take it off. She nodded. He leaned forward, reached behind her. Unhooking it on the first try, he pulled the straps down and threw the bra aside, his gaze lingering for a moment, just taking her in.
He didn't have to cover much distance as he leaned to kiss her, his fingers creeping up again to run over her breasts. She slid her hands up his chest but pulled her mouth away from his.
"Hamilton, we seem to have a clothing inequality problem here."
She looked down to indicate his sweater. Here she was, half-naked, and he was still fully dressed. Hamilton just smiled and lifted his arms. She pulled the sweater over his head so that only a T-shirt stood between her and the chest that she'd been dying to see uncovered since he'd picked up a rolling pin that afternoon. She ran her hands underneath his shirt as Hamilton wrapped his arms around her and dipped his mouth into her neck. His lips quickly found the sensitive spot he had teased her about while lying in the snow the day before. Jake felt a jet of heat melt through her.
"Ooh," she gasped, not intending to make a sound but unable to avoid it.
That one syllable that escaped her lips was all it took to send Hamilton over the hurdle to full arousal. He sighed deeply into her neck and resisted when he felt her pulling away, until he realized that she just wanted to pull off his T-shirt. He beat her to it, and his shirt was on the floor in a heartbeat.
As much as Jake wanted to lean into him again and feel his bare chest against hers, she had to sit back for a moment just to stare at his crew-developed shoulders.
She didn't know why his shoulders did that to her.
But Hamilton couldn't take her being that far away. He reached around her and dug his fingers into her shoulder blades as he pulled her toward him. She crawled forward on her knees so that she was in his lap, straddling him, wool slacks against khakis. They kissed again, deeper, the passion building, hands groping everywhere. Jake finally pulled away for a calming breath, and they both opened their eyes to gaze at each other. Hamilton cradled her face, kissing her nose and then the space between her eyebrows.
"Hey, I've got an idea," he whispered.
"What?"
"What did you have on last night when you were coming downstairs?"
Jake smiled and climbed off of Hamilton's lap. Opening her other suitcase, she pulled out a very short silk robe, peachy-beige with lace trim. "Just this."
"Wow. Just that, huh?"
She slipped into it and then unbuttoned her slacks and stepped out of them. The robe was short enough to reveal her boxers but long enough that when she pulled the boxers down and stepped out of those, Hamilton couldn't tell if she had panties on underneath.
"Grrrr..."
They both froze as soon as he made the noise, then Hamilton just laughed and crooked a finger toward her. "Come here."
She crawled back onto the bed, but instead of cozying up to Hamilton, she stretched out next to him and propped her head up on one arm. "So, what do you think?" she asked.
Hamilton let his eyes travel the entire length of her, from her eyes to her lips, then down her lean body that was normally hidden under baggy clothes but was now so beautifully displayed in the negligee. His gaze passed over her slender hips, her legs, all the way to her toes... and then back to her legs. They were shaved, he noticed. Soft and smooth. Another Christmas present for him...
It reminded him that he still had another Christmas present for her. "I think," he said slowly as he got up, "I've got another gift for you." He picked up a tiny box and handed it to her.
"But it's your turn to open one," she protested.
"Yeah, but this one goes together with the last one. That was for Jake, and this is for Jacqueline."
Jake sat up and took the present. She tore off the wrapping to find a little velvet-covered box from a jewelry store. "Hamilton..." she started, almost afraid to open it. She looked up at him, and he cocked his head to the side and shrugged a shoulder like it was no big deal. She slowly cracked open the lid, and two diamond earrings sparkled out at her. "Hamilton!" she cried, almost scolding him.
"What?"
"Tell me these aren't real. No, never mind, I've seen enough diamonds in my mother's jewelry box to know that they're real."
"What's the problem?"
"You're spending way too much money on me."
"Jake, I'm not exactly in the poorhouse here. I've saved up a lot of money, and I've never had anyone to spend it on. Except my mom, and she doesn't like diamonds." He smiled and sat down next to her, then leaned in and playfully rubbed his nose against hers. "Besides, diamonds say 'I love you.'"
"I thought diamonds said 'forever.'"
"Maybe they say, 'I love you forever.'" With that, he kissed her softly on the lips.
But Jake shook her head. "Hamilton, jewelry doesn't tell someone you love them."
"So what does?"
His face was still right in front of hers, and as she opened her lips to form a response she found herself lost in his eyes. She had been in that same circumstance before, when all ability to think or speak eluded her and she was overwhelmed by the desire to kiss him. She laid a hand on his cheek and did exactly that.
His hands held her head as he returned the kiss. Soon she was in his lap again, straddling him again. She kissed him all over -- lips, chin, nose, cheek... Each kiss was an apology for reacting the way she did, when she knew he was just trying to make her happy. Each kiss was a thank-you that she had failed to utter.
Hamilton slid his fingers down her neck and pulled open the front of her negligee. He pushed it back off her shoulders. She lowered her arms and let the silk slide down her back to her waist. Her bare chest was against his again now, but she pulled away just enough to run her fingers down to his waist, where she started to undo his belt. A high-pitched noise escaped his throat, and she knew she was at last getting to the one place he most wanted her to touch. She unbuckled the belt and unbuttoned his pants, still kissing him all the while.
Not one to waste time, Hamilton slid Jake off of his lap and jumped to his feet. He dropped his khakis and stepped out of them, standing before her in nothing but his boxers. Jake smiled -- he was always so ready to take off his clothes. He'd spent half the summer with no shirt on, and even though his deep tan had finally faded away, his chest was just as chiseled and beautiful as it was in those afternoons she remembered at the lake, his legs still boyishly lean beneath wisps of dark hair.
Now she was the one who was overdressed, so she removed her negligee to reveal matching panties of the same peachy-beige silk. Hamilton's lips parted and almost trembled as he beheld her mostly-naked body, and that reaction immediately made her feel more at ease. He smiled and crawled back on the bed, lying down and gently pulling her down next to him.
They continued kissing deep, wet kisses. He tilted her head back and ran his tongue down to the place that sent shivers through her. Then his lips moved further down her chest to her breasts. She closed her eyes tight and exhaled, grabbing at his hair.
They'd been this far before, farther. But Jake felt a strange excitement that she'd never known before, because this time was different. She didn't know if it was the temperature in the room or just her, but she felt incredibly warm. Hamilton's breath was hot against her chest as he went from licking her nipples to gently sucking her breasts. His body came down against hers as his lips moved back up her chest to her neck and his fingers slid down over her panties and between her legs.
She felt the slightest tickle in her stomach. 'Don't get nervous,' she told herself. 'There's no reason to get nervous.'
And then suddenly there was a reason, because his fingers had slipped inside her panties, and her attention was diverted from the licks of his tongue on her neck.
"Hamilton--" she whispered, though she didn't really want to interrupt him.
"Sorry," he replied, pulling his fingers out and looking up at her like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"No, it's OK. I just..."
"What? Too fast?"
"No, but... We didn't finish unwrapping the presents."
Hamilton had to laugh. "Are you serious?"
"You're two up on me right now, racked up some major points. I get a chance to fight back, don't I?"
"You know, maybe we could just drop the whole contest thing."
"Chicken?"
"No, I -- Why? You got something better than diamonds?"
"You tell me."
She pushed Hamilton off of her and got up off the bed. He turned on his side and propped his head up on his elbow, watching her with mounting curiosity. She went back to her suitcase, shuffled a few things around, and pulled out a tiny box, a jewelry box just like the one he had given her.
"I was going to save this for last," she said, handing it to him. "But go ahead."
He smiled and lay down on his back. "I guess we were on the same wavelength."
"More or less," she replied. She sat down next to him and leaned back against the pillows.
"So, is this a ring, or do you want me to get my ear pierced?"
"Yeah, Hamilton. I want you to get your ear pierced. Because people need another reason to think that you're gay."
He smirked and shot back, "You're the one who wears the black leather jacket and the aviator shades. That's so George Michael."
Jake accepted that and directed his attention back to the gift. "Just think, what's the one thing you really want for Christmas?"
With a lusty smile, Hamilton looked up at her and replied, "You know what the one thing is I want for Christmas, and she doesn't fit in a little box." He turned over, his head level with her chest, and softly placed his wet lips on her breast, then gently nibbled her nipple. He looked up at her again and whispered, "I want you, Jake. That's all I want."
"I want you, too, Hamilton," she said softly, gazing back at him. "Open your present." With heightened curiosity, Hamilton sat up and cracked the lid of the ring box. His jaw slowly dropped, and he pulled out of the little box a gold-foil-wrapped condom. He held it in his fingers for a moment, then looked at Jake.
"Merry Christmas," she said with a smile.
Hamilton gazed at her with intense love and even more intense lust in his eyes, then looked back at the condom and asked, "Just one?"
Jake laughed. "For starters. The rest of the box is in my suitcase."
Hamilton fell on top of her and kissed her. Really kissed her. Deeply, passionately, thanking her with every ounce of his being and telling her that there was no one else he wanted more to share this experience with. When he came up for air he looked at her intently again.
"Jake, you don't have to do this." The words popped out of his mouth without any forethought, but he realized that he meant it. As desperate as he was to have sex with her, he could only enjoy it if he knew that she wanted it as much as he did.
"Hamilton, I've never in my life done anything because I had to. I told you that I've been wanting this just as much as you have." She took the condom from him. "And if you don't believe me, when do you think I got these? You've spent the last four days with me. I didn't duck out to go to the drugstore."
He realized. "You had them all along. In that suitcase."
She nodded, but the look on Hamilton's face made her nervous. He didn't look so happy anymore.
His eyes narrowed as he said, "You've been willing all this time, but you waited to tell me tonight so you could win a contest?"
"Well, Hamilton, I --"
He cut her off. "I would be so mad at you right now if it weren't for the fact that you're going to have sex with me." He flashed her a grin and then kissed her again. "Come on, get up." He sprang to his feet and pulled her up so he could throw back the covers.
Since she was up, Jake bent down and opened her suitcase again. "Do you want a different kind?" she asked. "I just picked the gold one 'cause it was Christmas-y."
Hamilton turned around to see what she was talking about, and now that the suitcase was fully opened, he could see four boxes of condoms. "You bought four boxes?"
"Well, there were so many different kinds, I just --"
"No, it's cool. Most girls would feel really weird buying all those."
"I didn't do it as a girl. I did it as Jake. And he felt like a total stud."
Hamilton laughed and plucked a box out of the suitcase and set it on the nightstand. Then he walked to the door and shut off the light. Jake went to sit down on the bed, but he stopped her. "Nah-ah," he whispered. He sneaked his fingers inside the waistband of her panties and pulled them down. Jake stepped out of them, then climbed quickly into the bed and pulled up the sheet. She watched Hamilton as he yanked down his boxers and threw them aside as if it were the most casual of afterthoughts. He climbed into the bed after her. He kissed her as he rolled forward and snuggled his naked body up to her.
And that's when she realized they were really going to do this. There he was on top of her, his whole body exposed. Her whole body exposed. Their two bodies rubbing against each other with no barriers and no restraints. Jake was still trying to adjust to this as Hamilton sat up on his knees and ripped the wrapper off the condom. She looked away as he put it on.
"Are you cold?" he asked.
"No."
"You're shaking."
"OK, maybe I'm cold."
He pulled a blanket up over them, and then he sank back down on top of her to keep her warm. He loved the feel of her naked body beneath him. Running his hands over her, he loved that he could let go. Finally, he wouldn't have to control himself but could give in to the warmth that ran like little rivers through his groin, the invisible hand on his lower back that seemed to constantly push him forward, the build-up of five months of desire, ramping up in three days of absolute torture where he thought he would explode, having her so close to him all the time but unable to...be with her.
The next several moments passed like a blur, because everything was suddenly new. She was still Jacqueline, and he was still Hamilton, but now they were two people having sex. Or, trying to have sex...
For Jake, the blur gave way to a burning pain. She gritted her teeth and grabbed onto him harder.
Hamilton wasn't expecting this. Why had he thought he could just slide right into her? Oh well, he could deal. He wanted to be inside her so badly... He squeezed his eyes shut tight and gritted his teeth, thrusting himself at her again.
Nothing. Nothing but resistance. Was he in the wrong place? He went again.
Again nothing. Was he doing something wrong? He opened his eyes, and what he saw frightened him. The look on her face... Her eyes were squeezed shut, too... not from exertion but from pain.
Frustrated, he decided that the best course of action was to ask her. After all, they were best friends, they could talk about anything, right?
"Am I... you know, where I'm supposed to be?" he asked.
"Yeah, feels like it to me. What's the matter?"
"Nothing. Nothing. You feel great."
"But you're not... inside me, are you?"
"No, but you... feel great on the outside."
"Oh, well, are you going to hang around out there? Cuz it's starting to sting a little bit."
"Hey, if you're hurting, I can --"
"No, I don't want you to stop. I just want you... inside me."
Hamilton gave her a small smile, but he knew something was wrong. He bent to kiss her, and she responded, but not with her usual fervor. He felt like he was losing her. That look in her eyes, like she had gone somewhere. She wasn't with him.
He tried again, and again he got nowhere. He had to keep his eyes closed, because he couldn't stand to see that look on her face. This wasn't the erotic moment he had fantasized about all for those months, and he knew it wasn't for her either. She was still as stone, lying there, and the thought finally crossed his mind that perhaps she wasn't ready after all, either mentally or physically. He had been thinking about how much he wanted her, how it would feel to be inside her. He had never really been thinking about *her* -- whether she was ready, or whether a suitcase full of condoms really meant that she wanted this.
He opened his eyes again; she was watching him.
"Don't stop," she whispered.
"Baby, I'm hurting you."
"I figured it would hurt. I don't care."
"I care."
Hamilton gazed at her, but she looked away. The muscles in her thighs felt like steel, and it flickered through his clouded mind - in a moment of clarity - that maybe the problem wasn't between her legs. 'She's tense,' he thought. 'She's nervous. That's why she's shaking.'
Hamilton struggled to calm himself. He was still in the throes of desire, still consumed by the thought of losing his virginity. But he would force himself to try to get a grown-up thought into all that hormone-induced mess. Because he loved her. Ultimately, this was just sex and that, on its own, wasn't going to prove anything to her. Because diamonds don't say I love you, and neither does sex.
He also knew that Jake wasn't like other girls, and not just because she dressed like a boy. But because the wall that he was failing to break through was around her heart, a million defenses it had built up over time to protect itself from hurt, from abandonment, and perhaps, in spite of itself, from intimacy. Hamilton struggled to sort it out, to think of what he could do to get her to relax and trust him.
"Hamilton, talk to me..." Jake begged. She was growing even more nervous as he hovered silently above her.
Hamilton looked down at her, at those beautiful green eyes that desperately searched his face for some answer to what was wrong.
Looking at her, all rational thought went out of his head. He couldn't stop wanting -- that was beyond his abilty. He kissed her, deeply, bathing her mouth with his tongue. His hands felt down her sides, over her smooth, gently curving hips, and back up to her breasts. He kneaded them with his hands -- soft, feminine flesh, nipples that hardened at his touch. And again he was overwhelmed by the single driving need to be inside her. Just one more push...
"No!" Hamilton cried, startling both of them. He was saying it to himself, hadn't meant for it to come out loud. He looked at her again, and there were tears in her eyes. She was horrified. She covered her face with her hands, unable to look at him anymore.
"Baby, I didn't mean..." he started to say, but he wasn't sure what he meant.
"I'm doing it wrong, aren't I?" she asked, her voice muffled by the hands that covered her face.
"No, you're not doing anything wrong."
"What do you want me to do?"
Hamilton was still on top of her, still looking down at her, and now she cautiously removed her hands and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.
"I want you to take this condom off of me," he said.
Jake looked up at him quizzically. Was he suggesting that the condom was the problem?
"No, I don't mean..." He shook his head, reading her thoughts again. "I just mean we should take a break."
Now the tears spilled out of Jake's eyes. "Oh, God," she groaned. "You don't even want to now."
"No, I do want to. But maybe we're rushing things, and this feels so good right now, just like this, feeling you naked underneath me. I want to get used to this feeling."
Jake didn't say anything but avoided his gaze and then closed her eyes. Hamilton sighed and kissed her forehead. He rolled off of her, trying to calm himself. She turned away from him, and he slid his arm over her side and around her protectively. "Jake..." he whispered. "I just want to take a break. I'm not going anywhere."
She turned back around to look at him, her anxiety easing. "OK. So what do we do now?"
Hamilton looked at her eyes that reflected the ethereal glow of the moon through the window, and then he looked out through the frost-painted panes. He saw something in the distance.
"Come on," he urged her. He got up and pulled the blanket off the bed.
"Where are we going?"
"Let's sit by the window."
"Won't it be cold?"
"I'll keep you warm." Hamilton wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and sat down sideways on the window seat, putting his feet up on the seat as well. He beckoned to Jake.
She hesitated, then got up, keeping the sheet wrapped around her. She sat down opposite him on the seat and leaned back against the other wall.
"You see that big star up there?" he asked, pointing.
She looked out at the night sky. "You mean Polaris?"
"That's the Christmas star."
"Actually, it's Polaris."
"Yeah, well, my mom always told me it was the Christmas star, the one the three wise men followed."
"Could be. Polaris is a fixed star, so it's used in navigation."
Hamilton smiled. This was the geek in the girl that he loved. "So, Jake, what would you and your mom do for Christmas?"
Her face contorted again. "Oh God, Hamilton, can we not talk about that?"
He nodded, then sat silently for a moment until his eyes wandered over to his bedside clock that glowed red in the darkness. "It's midnight."
"Yeah?"
"It's Christmas."
Jake sighed. Some Christmas. She felt very strange, still embarrassed, still confused. They'd sort of had sex, but... was she still a virgin? She stared out the window, avoiding Hamilton's eyes that tried to draw her back to the conversation.
Finally she looked at him, and she let him hear the disappointment she felt as she said, "This was supposed to be the best Christmas ever."
"Jake, even if we don't have sex tonight, this is still the best Christmas I've ever had. By far. And I know you know that." He lost her again as she looked out the window, so he sat up and reached out to her. "Baby, come here."
She needed that hug more than anything. She leaned forward between Hamilton's bent knees and let him wrap his arms around her. He held her for a moment and then motioned for her to turn around. He pulled her into his blanket and she leaned back against his chest and sighed.
"I should've given you the DVD player," she quipped.
Hamilton laughed and squeezed her. "I think your present was great."
"I thought I had the trump card. The ace of spades."
"It wasn't just a game. And if it were, that wouldn't have been the winning move."
"Really? Why's that?" She turned around to look at him.
"Jake, the thing I really want most for Christmas wasn't in that little box."
"Then what is it?"
"What I want is to see you happy."
She smiled. "But I am happy. I'm with you."
"No, your being here was a consolation prize, remember? Where did you want to be for Christmas?"
Jake looked down, her smile disappearing. She turned away and leaned back against his chest. "You know, Hamilton, if you want me to be happy, you gotta stop bringing up my mother."
Hamilton dropped his mouth against her bare shoulder and sat silently for a moment. Then he kissed her. "Get up."
She turned to look at him again, and he nodded. She stood up so that he could get out from underneath her.
"I wasn't supposed to show you these yet," he said as he went to the closet and returned with the FedEx envelope that had arrived that morning.
"What?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
Hamilton sat down next to her as he reached into the envelope. Jake looked down as he placed the contents in her hand. Two plane tickets.
"What's this?" she gasped, guessing but not believing.
"Tickets to Paris."
"Is this a joke?"
"You want to see your mom, don't you?"
"Yeah, but - two tickets?
"You. Me."
"B-- Wha-- You can't just run off to Paris."
"I can for four days. I told you that my parents are going to Houston for that educators' conference. They know I don't want to go, so I convinced them to let me stay here. Only, I won't be staying here. I'll be going to Paris, with you."
Jake wrinkled her brow and looked at the tickets, still not ready to believe this until she saw the names Jacqueline Pratt and Hamilton Fleming. She shook her head. "No, Hamilton, that's too much. I can't let you-- How could you possibly afford these?"
"I didn't buy them, actually. Your mom did."
"What?"
"This is your Christmas present from your mother, or one of them anyway. She invited me to --"
"When? When did you talk to her?"
"I called her, day before yesterday."
"Why?"
"Because I was afraid you wouldn't."
"How did you get ahold of her in Paris?"
"Her cell number is programmed into your phone." He raised his eyebrows at her smugly, letting her know that she wasn't the only one in the relationship who had brains. "So anyway, she said she missed you and felt bad about missing Christmas with you, but she didn't want you to have to hang out alone in Paris while she was working, so she asked me to go with you and keep you company. But I told her I'd have to check with my parents. Then her assistant called and left a message on the machine saying that she went ahead and sent me something, but I didn't get the message until after I opened up that FedEx and found the tickets."
Jake grew nervous. "Her assistant didn't mention me, did she?"
"No, I was worried about that, too. But your mom was totally discreet. I think she figured I might not have asked my parents yet."
Jake shook her head, still letting this sink in.
"Hey, it's only fair," Hamilton continued. "You got to see what Christmas is like in the Fleming household. Now I get to see what Christmas is like in the Pratt household."
"You mean, the Pratt hotel room du jour?"
"Yeah." He smiled at her, his eyes twinkling in the starlight.
She looked at him earnestly. "This is for real?"
"Yes."
"You're going with me?"
"Yes."
"My mother, you and me, together, in Paris?"
Hamilton suddenly grew nervous. "Ohhh... You're not going to do one of those things where you get mad at me because I'm moving too fast and didn't consult you before--"
But he couldn't finish the sentence because his lips were ripped apart by the voracity of her kiss. She knocked him back against the frosted window as she wrapped herself around him.
"Ow -- cold," he murmured between kisses as the back of his neck came in contact with the frozen glass. Jake got up and led him back to the bed, and they snuggled together under the covers.
She laughed. "You know what this means, don't you?"
"What?"
"My mom won our contest."
"That's good, because if either of us had won, we'd be impossible to live with."
Jake laughed again, her full, resonant laugh.
"Shh," Hamilton hushed her, holding a finger to his lips. "Don't wake up my mom and dad." He tickled her nose with his own and kissed her.
She kissed him back and pulled him to her tightly. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, feeling like she was in a dream. Even if it was just four days... For those four days, she could be a girl. And be with Hamilton. And be with her mother. The two people she loved. The two people she needed. This really was the best Christmas present she could imagine.
She looked up at her boyfriend again. "Hamilton, what did I do to deserve you?"
"Let's see. You dressed up like a guy, messed with my head, made me think I was gay... You know, all the typical girl stuff."
She laughed again, and Hamilton, giggling himself, covered her mouth until she quieted down. She rested her head back on his chest. He was right, it was nice to get used to the feeling of lying next to him naked. Somehow lying there together wrapped in the sheets, joking around with each other, was more intimate than sex. She could hear his heartbeat, and the slow rise and fall of his chest would have rocked her to sleep had she not been so excited. After a moment she lifted her head to look up at him. His eyes were closed, his jaw slack, his lips slightly parted. He looked like he was dozing off.
She knew that she should let him sleep. It had been a difficult day for both of them, and they needed to rest. But she wasn't ready for the day to be over. She wasn't ready to stop kissing those lips. She wasn't ready to stop running her hands over his remarkably defined shoulders and chest. She wasn't ready to lose that loving blue gaze. She wasn't ready to give up on the desire to feel his body fused with hers.
Suddenly, Jake realized that she had never felt more ready.
Maybe that was why she was rubbing herself against his hip. It was that motion that brought his eyelids fluttering open again. He turned on his side and looked at her. She licked her lips then kissed him, softly at first, then pulling his bottom lip between her own, then opening up further and licking his teeth with her tongue. He responded, pulling her to him as their mouths became one.
Without a word spoken, Hamilton could tell that something had changed. He didn't know exactly what it was. Maybe he would never know. But when his body so naturally settled over hers again it was like falling into place. And when he looked down and met her warm gaze, there was no hesitation there. Only love. And the simple response that those beautiful eyes gave to him.
Yes.
It was enough to bring him back to full arousal.
As if he needed any more prompting, she reached down between his legs as her other hand grabbed another condom from the box on the nightstand. They put it on together. And then she put him exactly where she wanted him to go, giving him a squeeze to let him know that she was comfortable with this part of his body now. He sank down on top of her, his chest to hers, and grabbed her hands, pushed them up over her head and down into the pillows. Their fingers intertwined. He fought the urge to close his eyes and managed to keep them open, so he wouldn't lose that affirming gaze. He squeezed her hands, locked her eyes, took a deep breath...
"I love you," he whispered.
"I know."
And then he broke through.
THE END