When Bad Things Happen To Good Scouts
"Ahh!" Serena and Darien jump in surprise. "You startled us," Darien comments. Then, the bushes start rustling again. Two more people come out: a Black guy followed by a Mexican girl.
"Shakira, wait for us you crazy idiot!" The Mexican girl pants to the first girl. The two people that just came out of the bushes are trying to catch their breath.
"I'm sorry, Andrea," Shakira says in a happy tone, while doing a little dance. "Look at me I'm doing the happy dance! Join in Vincent!"
The Black guy starts to join in, "Yeah, we're having fun!"
"Shut up you three! You're going to make them think we're crazy." Andrea yells, slapping her friends on the back of their heads.
Serena has a confused look on her face, "What do you mean three, there's only two of them?" Serena points to Vincent, then to Shakira to make sure she counted right.
"We don't know about you Andrea, but we're not crazy," Vincent explains.
"And neither is Shakira!" Shakira tells everybody, "Shakira thinks that Andrea is the one who's crazy."
"See what I mean, they are crazy," Andrea turns to Serena and Darien while holding up her index finger near her ear, and turning it clockwise.
"Why do they talk like that. He talks like there's two of him and she talks like she's not her, but her secretary or something?" Darien wonders.
"Vincent's got a sort of split personality, it's hard to explain," Andrea begins. "And her over there acts like she's not her, but someone talking about her. It's a shame, really, but I'm the only sane person in our little group."
Shakira walks up to Serena and stares at her, "Ooooh! What does this do?"
"OUCH!" Serena cries in pain because Shakira poked her in the eye. "That hurts! Why did you do that?"
"Because you're Sailor Moon, duh!" Shakira laughs maniacally.
"How does it feel to be Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask?" Vincent inquires, "We really want to know."
Both Darien and Serena have a shocked expression on their faces. "Uh…uh we don't know what you guys are talking about," says Darien.
"Oh please, everyone know you're Sailor Moon. It's a commonly known fact where we come from," Andrea says. "And everyone knows that Darien is rose boy."
"It's Tuxedo Mask!" Serena corrects her in a defensive voice. Darien slaps his forehead.
"Great Serena, you gave the whole secret away!" Darien sounds really mad.
"We knew you were Sailor Moon!" Vincent says getting excited that he jumps up and down repeatedly. "Can we see you transform? We've always wanted to do that."
Darien whispers to Serena," Let's make a break for it on three. One… Two… THREE!" Darien and Serena start running away from the group of three.
"AFTER THEM!" Shakira is getting angry; "Shakira isn't pleased." The three run after Serena and Darien. Just then Sailor Venus comes into view.
"You guys need to hurry up and change, we've got a monster sighting near the Statue of Liberty," Venus is accompanied by a white cat, Artimes, and a black cat, Luna.
"Oh the talking kitties!" The three stop dead in their tracks and run over to the two cats. "Hello Luna, hey Artimes!" Andrea exclaims.
Vincent looks up from the cats, "Hey look! They're getting away!" The three resume the chase, by now Serena and Darien have changed into Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. "They've changed into people with powers." The three strangers continue to chase them all the way to Manhattan Island. "We've got you cornered, nowhere to run now."
"Shakira wants your powers!" She yells, "Give them to her!" Out of thin air, the other Sailors join with their trapped friends.
"Girls thank goodness you're all here." Sailor Moon says out of breath.
"C'mon Sailor Moon, we've got to go. Say good-bye to your new friends," Sailor Mars says annoyed. "I swear you need to own up to your responsibilities.
"Sorry to disappoint you Mars, but we're running from them. They know who we are and who you all are. They are terrorizing us," Tuxedo Mask explains.
"You think they're from the Negaverse?" Sailor Mercury wonders aloud.
"Could be," Sailor Venus replies.
Sailor Mercury takes out a little handheld computer and a visor appears over her eyes. "I'll see if I can get a reading on them," Andrea stares intently at Mercury. "Hey!" Sailor Mercury screams.
"I got it, I got her little computer," Mercury's visor disappears. "Now I hold the power!" Andrea laughs wickedly. Andrea turns to an unsuspecting Tuxedo Mask, and pounces. She tackles him to the floor, and removes his hat, and strops his cane from him. She puts the computer in the hat and waves the cane around. "Look at me I can do magic." The cane extends, and becomes very large.
"That's good Andrea," Vince says. Vincent turns to Tuxedo Mask, who is still on the floor. He grabs his cape and rips it off. Then he reaches inside his coat and takes all the roses inside. "Look at me, I can throw roses," Vince throws a rose at Sailor Venus, and it sticks in the ground right in front of her feet.
"Hey!" Venus, "Venus Crescent Beam Smash!"
The attack misses its intended target. Just then, the monster jumps off a high building, and lands in the middle of the group. "Hey, aren't you guys the Sailor Scouts?" The monster asks. "Queen Barrel sent me here to destroy you and collect energy from unwary humans, but I think I'll destroy you all first." The monster's hand turns into a sharp pointy, metal rod. It jabs at the closest Sailor Scout, which happens to be Jupiter.
"Watch where you're sticking that," Jupiter pleas. "You might poke someone's eyes out, or worse."
"That's the point, duh." Shakira speaks up from behind Jupiter and kicks her in the rear. "That's what you get for being born on the same day that Shakira was born on!" Shakira kicks her again, "and that's what you get for having the same initials as Shakira. Sailor Jupiter, Shakira J. S.J, S.J., see the same letters."
"Someone help me!" Jupiter calls out to her friends, but they are in pain, because the monster has duplicated itself so everyone has a monster to fight with.
"Without my computer, I can't find its weakness." Sailor Mercury says. "Darn it."
Vince continues throwing roses at everyone, and jumping off of really tall poles, "So this is how you jump so high, and have really good balance, the cape does it for you. As for the roses, they're homing roses. We've always wondered how you could do all that."
Shakira runs over to Sailor Venus and her monster. "Venus Love Chain Encircle!" A mysterious wind picks up and Venus' hair flies upward, she creates a chain out of pure energy and throws it at the monster.
Shakira runs in front of the monster, and intercepts the chain. She grabs the chain out of mid-air. Venus is stunned that she caught her chain. "Ha, loser! Shakira has always wanted this little chain."
"No, give it back!" Bargains Venus, but it is no use. " Oh, wait I can just make another one."
Venus' monster tries to attack again, but Shakira gives it a good beating with the love chain, and the monster falls limp to the floor. Shakira turns to Venus, and notices she is trying to make another chain. Shakira acts on instinct and bops Venus over the head. She falls to the ground, rubbing her head. "Shakira Love Chain Snatch!" Shakira sends the chain flying at Venus. The Sailor Scout ducks her head low, and is bracing herself for the oncoming pain, but never feels it. She looks up and sees Shakira waving her bow and putting it on. "Andrea, toss me his mask!"
Andrea, who isn't beating up Scouts, but is testing her magic tricks on the two cats, stops and runs over to Tuxedo Mask. "Ahh, get away from me you demon child!" Here have the stupid mask." Tuxedo Mask hops off the ground and runs like there's no tomorrow.
"You big sissy, come back here and fight like a man!" Andrea bellows. She tosses the mask to Shakira, and she puts it on. She looks content. "Come back here, where do you think you're going?" Andrea grabs both cats by their necks, and shakes them violently. "Now get onto the rope over there. We're gonna see if you guys can play hangman. Or cat in this situation." Both Luna and Artemis have worried looks on their faces. "Don't worry this won't hurt me at all!"
Now fully dressed, Shakira does her happy dance. "Look at Shakira, Shakira's Sailor V!"
"Just because you've got a mask, my bow, and that chain doesn't mean you're Sailor V. It takes a lot more to be Sailor V. I should know, I've been her before I was Sailor Venus," Venus mocks.
"Yeah! Well…well…well take this you bimbo!" Shakira strikes at Venus again, and this time connects with her stomach. Venus tips over and clutches her side. "Ha, that'll teach you to mess with Shakira, you loser."
"I must do something to stop this madness," Venus silently thinks to herself. Venus starts to give off a weird glow. Then the chain in Shakira's hand starts glowing the same color.
"Wonder what's happenin'?" Shakira asks no one. The chain shakes and shakes, then is breaks apart. All the little heart-shaped links shoot out all over the place. Each one hitting one of the monsters. All the monsters vanish, except the original, which is still picking on Sailor Jupiter.
"Uh-oh!" The monster says, looking at its situation. "I think I'm in huge trouble." One-by-one each of the scouts gets up to reveal black eyes, bruises, and most likely, broken bones. They all look like crap.
Vince, Andrea, and Shakira all come and stand next to each other. They have sad looks on their faces. "We've got to go," Vince says solemnly.
"Yeah, our moms said we have to stop for today," Andrea takes over. "Hope we can play again real soon!"
"Here's your stuff back," Shakira says dropping the chain, the mask, and the bow on the ground. She takes the computer and hat from Andrea, and the cape and roses from Vincent. She them on the ground as well.
Andrea tosses keys to Sailor Moon. "You can untie the cats' chains with those."
"What do you think we should play tomorrow?" Vincent inquires.
They all get happy faces now, "Let's play Dragon Ball Z." Shakira answers back.
"Good, Trunks always looks cute when he's about to die." Andrea says. With that, the strangers glow bright, light blue, and fly off into the air, out of sight. The Scouts and the monster are horribly, horribly confused.
"What just happened?" Asks the monster. "This is way too much for me I'm outta here! I don't care what Barrel does to me anymore, I can't take much more of this." The monster continuously complains to itself as it walks away from the scouts. THE END.