Butterfly's Sleep copyright 1999 to L'Arc~en~Ciel.
Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu.
I. Birth
Itooshi hito no tame ni
Ima nani ga dekiru ka na?
Kanawanai yume wa nai yo
Massugu ni shinjiteru |
What can I do now
For the one I love?
There are no dreams that can't come true
I truly believe |
--Fushigi Yuugi, Itooshi Hito no Tame ni (TV opening theme)
The weather outside was perfect for a game of basketball or volleyball or a walk in the park or anything but a dreary three hours' wait in the airport. Anything.
Their flight had been scheduled to leave at nine o' clock that morning, but then the plane had had some problems with a temperature sensor, and rather than having them stay on board, the flight attendants had pushed all passengers off until further notice. Further notice being that the plane was now due to take off at more than three hours after it had been originally scheduled, and Yui was hungry.
It wasn't a feeling she usually associated with herself. Miaka was the hungry one, the one constantly on the hunt for food, but right now Miaka was looking quite content nestled in the arms of Taka, who was sleeping with his mouth open. Keisuke was reading the newspaper, his eyebrows going up and down at some unseen piece of new information. In his lap, he was trying to balance a discman and an open can of beer. Tetsuya had dozed off as well, following Taka's earlier, and probably wiser example. And Andy…
Andy was nowhere to be seen.
It had been Miaka who had pushed Andy to come to the airport with them anyway to see Yui and Tetsuya off, since he was in Tokyo for a movie shoot and decided to discreetly drop by. As discreetly as he could, anyway, with the hundreds of reporters and media gurus constantly on the search for news concerning Asia's new hot movie and pop star, Andy Wong.
It didn't matter that they knew him by a different name.
Yui's stomach growled and she rolled her eyes slightly, trying to contain her hunger pangs. It was ridiculous. She had eaten a semi-large breakfast, and it was only barely past noon. She was not turning into Miaka.
Moodily, she stared at the window at the passing planes. This should have been the trip of a lifetime. Receiving the scholarship for foreign study had made her parents so proud, and that in itself should have boosted her spirits. Her parents were never proud of her anything anymore. A travel scholarship to America for three months to study English and then a bonus two weeks' trip to England and Europe was more than she had dreamed of. The selection committee had praised her grasp of the language.
Yui didn't think she spoke English that well. At least not as well as the board had maintained. Tetsuya had gotten the same scholarship, minus the European trip, and his English was not nearly as good even as hers. She attributed her success more to the fact that one of Japan's newest and brightest professors had been on the selection board and had a special preference towards her.
It wasn't her fault that the young man once known as Suzaku seishi Chiriko had recognized her as Seiryuu no Miko.
"Fame changes everything," she muttered to the reflective glass. It rattled as, in the nearby distance, an airplane took off.
"So it does."
She looked up to see the smiling, almost unearthly beautiful face of Andy Wong above her, disguised though it was with sunglasses.
"Where have you been?"
Andy held up a few fast food bags. "Getting lunch."
"LUNCH!"
Yui snatched the bags before the blur moving past her could reach them. "Miaka, sit down."
"I'm-"
"Hungry. Me too. We'll share, ok?"
The row of worn airport seats sagged as Yui and Andy gingerly took their seats, eyeing a dozing Keisuke whose beer can was starting to tip precariously. "I'm surprised no one's recognized you by now."
Andy laughed. "No one expects to see anyone famous at an airport like this. Besides, I think the sunglasses are a rather good disguise, don't you?"
Yui groaned, gingerly extracting the semi-greasy burger from the silver wrapping. "I don't like Burger King."
"It was the only thing I could find. Gomen."
She smiled. "You don't have to apologize. I was just complaining." She sighed. "Maybe I should just forget about this trip-"
"Yui-chan! You've been talking about it for weeks! You can't just not go now! Besides, your parents would have a fit!"
"I was just kidding," Yui said. The burger tasted as greasy as it looked. She put it down and stared out the window. "I'm already at the airport, aren't I?"
Behind her there was a grunt. "The plane fixed yet?"
"Go back to sleep, Tetsuya," Miaka said. "It'll be a while."
A while yet. It was always a while yet. Her whole life, a series of whiles and laters passing her by. Okaasan, can you look at my homework? Later, dear. Tousan, when are we going to go somewhere as a family? Later, Yui. Okaasan, I made an A on my test! I'll have time to talk to you in a while, Yui. I'm busy.
"What's the matter, Yui-chan?" She looked up. Miaka had stopped eating and was looking at her with a worried look. "You don't look so good."
"I'm sure it's just the stress of the upcoming plane ride," Andy said, patting her shoulder.
"That must be it," Yui said quietly. Her stomach was churning now. "Excuse me. I have to use the restroom."
It wasn't that no one cared. Tetsuya cared, she knew. And Miaka and Taka cared, and Keisuke and Andy and a myriad of other people and faces that whirled through her mind like a wind. But still it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough.
She stumbled through the doors of the bathroom, where she threw up in the sink.
Tsuki no mukou aoi searchlight
Kasanaru
Totsuzen maiorita angel
Sou kimi wa dare? |
Beyond the moon, a blue searchlight,
One after another
Suddenly alighted an angel,
So, who are you? |
--Vision of Escaflowne, Mystic Eyes (TV ending theme)
When she arrived back at the waiting lounge, Taka and Tetsuya were awake. Tetsuya stood quickly when he saw her, half-running to catch her arm.
"Are you ok? Miaka said you looked a little sick…"
Yui waved him off with a small smile. "I'm fine. Just I don't like Burger King."
The look Andy gave her was more relieved than annoyed. "I know that now."
She sat down between her bags, feeling Tetsuya's arm slip around her shoulder. "She'll be fine when we board the plane," he said, squeezing her shoulders reassuringly. "Right?"
Yui nodded.
"Yui-chan, where are you going again? Did you give me the address? I have to write you, you know!"
"I did give you the address. I'm going to Philadelphia, remember?" She stumbled over the pronounciation of Philadelphia. "Though I'll be in New York for a few weeks, most likely. And maybe New Jersey? Is that near Philadelphia? I forgot."
"Ooh, New York!" Miaka's eyes grew wide. "You'll get me souvenirs, right?"
Yui managed a smile at that. "Of course. Souvenirs for everyone. If-" She nudged her boyfriend in the stomach, "someone helps me pay."
"Hey!" Tetsuya protested. "I'm not staying with the same host family as you!"
"You might as well be next door. You're two doors down from the family I'm staying with." Yui pulled out her travel slip to reread the information. She could never remember her host family's last name. "G-Grant?"
"I'm with the Jacobsen family." Tetsuya looked reflective. "I wonder if they have any good-looking daughters."
Yui smacked him.
"It's so nice outside," Taka said, his arms still around Miaka. "We could have gone out for lunch."
"Our genius emperor here decided not to," Tetsuya said, pointing at Andy, who had a look of self-righteousness plastered on his face.
"You were all asleep!"
"It's all right," Yui said quietly, stuffing the slips of paper back into her travel bag. "I don't mind. I'm not hungry anymore anyway."
Tetsuya wound his arms more tightly around her and she tried to relax for a moment as the group fell silent, staring out the big glass windows. It was funny. She'd been having trouble sleeping the past few months, even with Tetsuya beside her in the same bed, his breathing deep and even and hypnotic. It wasn't that she didn't feel safe. Maybe it was she felt too safe, that there was a duty she had not yet fulfilled and she was growing complacent.
Or something.
Seiryuu had been summoned, the world had been put back to normal. She wasn't Seiryuu no Miko anymore. It was over. The nightmares and the dreams had faded, and she'd put it all behind her, as Miaka and Taka and Andy and the rest had urged her to do.
Of course, it was easy for them. They'd had each other. She, on the other hand…
She had no one.
Her seishi were all dead.
"Yui?"
"Yes?"
"You're crying."
She hadn't even noticed.
Sekai-bun no ichi no yume wa itai yo
Honto wa kowai keredo
Donna ni naite mo ii
Ima shika dekinai tabi ga shitai |
My dreams, one part of the world, it hurts
Really it's scary but
It's all right however much I cry
I want to start a journey that can only be taken now |
--Rurouni Kenshin, 1/Sekai no Boku (Myoujin Yahiko)
"Passengers for flight 1352 to San Fransisco, USA, may now board."
"Yui-chan! That's you guys!"
"I know, Miaka. I'm not deaf."
"But-"
"Come on, Miaka," Taka said, taking her hand. "Yui's not feeling too well."
"Oh." Miaka's face fell. "I thought you said you felt better, Yui-chan."
"I-" Yui gave up trying to explain herself and decided it would be best to try and wake Tetsuya, who had somehow fallen asleep again between lunch and the announcement. "Tetsuya, wake up."
Her boyfriend wrinkled his nose and tried to turn the other way to avoid her pushing hand. Keisuke put down his newspaper and slapped his best friend on the head gently.
"Come on, baka, you'll miss your plane!"
"You have everything, Yui-chan?"
"Yes, mother."
Miaka laughed, but her eyes were filled with tears. Suddenly, she wrenched herself out of Taka's grasp, throwing skinny arms around Yui. "Yui-chan, I'll miss you!"
"It's not like I'm at the end of the world, Miaka…I'll write you, I promise."
"And we'll write you, of course," Taka said, smoothing Miaka's hair. "Both of you."
"If you need money, just call," Andy said. "You have my cell number."
"Funny," Tetsuya hoisted his backpack up on his shoulder. "Nuriko and Pedro both said the same thing when I told them goodbye."
"Anything to help friends." The movie star grinned and gently hugged Yui. "Have a safe trip."
"Remember to call us when you get there!" Miaka said.
"Yui, we have to go. They've called our row number."
"Just a minute." She was wrestling with her recalcitrant purse. Finally stuffing it into her backpack, she took a deep breath. "All right. Let's go."
"Don't pick up too many American guys!" Keisuke called after them with a smirk. Tetsuya touched her on the arm.
"You ok? You're awfully quiet."
"I'm all right. Maybe a little queasy. Remind me never to eat Burger King again."
"Will do."
And tell me again why I'm so lonely.
Tatoeba yume ni tsukarete mo
Uragirareta ai demo
Kokoro wa kuuhaku no mama de
Omoide sae mo nokosezu |
For my dreams are worn out
And I'm betraying love, but
My heart is like a blank
No matter the memories I'll leave them behind |
--Gundam Wing, Doukeshi (Trowa Barton)
"Yui-chan looked awfully sad."
"She didn't get enough sleep last night, packing, probably," Keisuke said, tossing his newspaper in the trash bin. Outside, the gate retracted and the big plane began its taxi out to the runway. Andy picked up Keisuke's half-finished beer and downed the rest of it in one gulp, grimacing at the taste. What kind of trash did Miaka's brother drink, anyway?
"Hey! That's my beer!"
"Still," Miaka said stubbornly, clinging to Taka's arm and pressing her nose against the glass. "It's not like her. She's always happy."
"Maybe that's just what she wants you to think," Andy said.
"Huh?"
Andy shook his head. "Nothing. Maybe I'm becoming a little morose too." Time to change the subject. "Fame and beauty will do that to you."
"Hotohori!" Taka said, casting a long-suffering look at the movie star with an emphasis on his seishi name. Andy grinned.
"I wish I knew what was wrong with her…I want to help her…"
"She's had a rough time," Keisuke said. "This vacation will be good for her. And she'll get to be with Tetsuya."
"What if that's not what she wants?"
Keisuke cast an incredulous glare at Andy. "What do you mean? They've been going out for almost two years!"
"I don't know. But-don't you think that after so long they'd look like more of a couple? Yui doesn't really seem to be as comfortable in the relationship as Tetsuya does. At least to me." Andy shrugged, beginning to take off his sunglasses to clean them before realizing that meant exposing his face to the airport. "What do I know?"
"You know a lot, old friend," Taka said. He sounded thoughtful. "You may be right."
Keisuke looked indignant. "Tetsuya's a good guy."
"I didn't say he wasn't," Andy snapped back in defense.
"Guys!"
"I think Yui needs a break, that's all." In the far distance there was a roar of engines. "Is that her plane?"
"I think so." Miaka pressed her face further into the glass. "Yui-chan! Goodbye!"
"Shhh!" Taka poked her in the back of the head. "This is the airport, for heaven's sake, not a stadium!"
Miaka bounced back from the glass as if she hadn't heard Taka's warning. "Come on, let's go home! I'm going to write her and Tetsuya a letter right now!"
Keisuke pocketed his headphones as he watched his sister drag Taka into the airport crowds. "There they go. Or rather, there she goes."
"We'll catch up." Andy waited until the other had collected his myriad belongings.
"Sorry my sister is such a brat sometimes."
"She's only sixteen. In this world, she's still considered a child. Besides, I fell in love with her, once."
"You did."
Skirting the crowds of people carrying cups of coffee and pearl milk tea and soft drinks and cheap fast-food paper trays of sushi and talking loudly on miniature cell phones.
"Maybe that's what Yui needs. Someone to fall madly in love with. Head over heels. Like Miaka and Tamahome."
Keisuke didn't look convinced. "I think all she needs is a good vacation. She's been studying too hard, that's all."
"If that's what you think." Andy tried to catch a glimpse of the two departed members of their group, but it was impossible through the thick of people. "Still, I wonder what would have happened if Yui had been Suzaku no Miko."
"Would you have fallen in love with her?"
Andy's expression didn't change. "Probably. But I was young and still naïve, then. Yui is mentally older than a lot of girls her age. I think she's still searching for something here that the Shin Jin Ten Chi Sho couldn't offer her."
Keisuke snorted. "It offered her a lot of things. And all of them sucked."
"You could put it that way." Andy stepped into the waiting elevator. "Maybe things will change for her. She's had a lot of bad experiences."
"At least her seishi didn't show up again reincarnated here." That statement earned some strange looks from the other passengers of the elevator.
The doors opened and they stepped out. "That's true. At least she has that."
His private car was at the other end of the private tunnel, and he could see Miaka and Taka waving at them from the entrance.
Or, he amended to himself as they crossed over to join them. She doesn't have that.
Holy lonely light
Iisoge jibun wo shinjite
Heavy lonely night
Yami no naka kara kotae wo mitsukedase |
Holy lonely light
Hurry, I must believe in myself
Heavy lonely night
To find a way out of the darkness |
--Macross 7, Holy Lonely Light
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