This is probably going to be the oddest (and most Yaoi/Yuri) fic I will EVER write. I'm not good at yaoi/yuri.
This is Duhgimon. It is a poem about a rip off of Digimon. With author interaction. The things I think up.
::shakes head::
The characters? Sly, Splatt, Lora, Bebe, T.J., Cori, Moe, and Dizzy. With gust appearances…
Duhgimon: What the F***?
Our heroes…. Do I have to say heroes? They technically haven't done anything.
Yes.
*sigh* Our heroes and their Duhgimon are STILL (no surprise) lost in the forest, trying to find their way home. They missed a sign that points to it, but they're too stoopid… You spelled 'stupid' wrong.
LOOK! I'm the author here. You're the narrator-type person that no one gives a crap about! Just read the card!
*sigh again* but they're too STOOPID to find it.
Very good
So here they are again, trying to attack trees, thinking they're Woodamon or something.
"Sly! Can't your puny Toromon do anything?!" Splatt yelled.
"Well if you're Dunymon would Duhgi-volve, too, then we could do something!" Sly said, kicking a rock.
"It's just building it's power! You should know that! The others do!"
"How could you know that? This is the first episode!"
"It just shows I'm smarter than you!" Splatt yelled.
"Boys. I don't care if our Duhgimon evolve, and I just think that they're the cutest!" Bebe said, being her old childish self. Lora nodded, then caught herself from staring at Bebe, and turned back to the 'fight'.
"Yeah?! Well you couldn't….. Hey! What's this strange feeling?" Sly looks at the author, puzzled.
"Yeah! I have it to!" Splatt turned to Sly. Sly turned to Splatt. They just stared for a while.
Silly! Everyone *knows* that you love each other!
Smiles creaked across both faces, and they ran off into the bushes. The Author started to follow, but then heard some odd sounds, and left it alone.
"What's my brother doing?" T.J. wondered.
I dunno. But I'm not going to check.
"Oh. Well, if you won't check, then I won't." The author smiled.
Dizzy sat away from the others, typing on his Palmtop. Actually, he was trying to, but kept poking himself on something. Moe came over and stared at Dizzy.
"Moron. How do you expect to type without a keyboard? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Moe laughed. His ass fell off.
Dizzy gave him an odd look, then raised his hands and started waving his fingers. Moe screamed like a girl as the word 'Jackass' imprinted itself on his head. Dizzy snickered.
"Hey, that is not funny!" Moe said. He then saw his ass lying on the floor. Some Ratamon started chewing it. He kicked them away and picked it up. "Do you have any glue?" Dizzy said no, and Moe tried to use mud to stick it back on. It worked. Cori came over and saw that Moe's pants were brown in the back. She tried to stifle a laugh, but it didn't work at all. She fell to the floor, hold her gut with laughter. Catomon just looked on, confused.
Hey! Something's missing!
"Like what?" Lora asked. She tried to take her eyes off Bebe. Unfortunately, it's hard to see if you're eyes aren't in your head.
Hmmm…. I dunno. What does Digimon have that Duhgimon doesn't?
"What's Digimon?" T.J. asked. His Duhgimon partner Pokomon was trying to bite air.
I know! A pun!
"What's a pun?" Pokomon asked, giving up on killing the air.
"It's hard to explain," Bebe said.
"Maybe when you're older," Lora said, still searching for her eyes. She thought she found them, but had instead grabbed Bebe's breasts. Both girls blushed. Bebe eyed Lora. Lora put in her eyes and eyed the inside of her head.
"AAHHH!!!!" she smacked her head a few times and her eyes turned around. Then she eyed a nearby tree. Then walked over to it, and tried to start a conversation. Bebe pouted.
What pun should we have?
"I'm smart!" T.J. announced for no good reason.
HAHA! That's good, T.J, but it isn't a pun.
T.J. scratched his head.
Suddenly, Sly and Splatt appeared out of no where, wearing each other's clothes. The author decided to leave that one alone, and went back to thinking. Cori came over and slapped T.J. T.J. slapped Splatt, and Splatt tried to slap the author, but instead wound up with his head in his pants. Sly stared after a few minutes, wondering if he was stuck.
No, that won't do at all.
The author took Splatt's head out of his pants, then put it in Sly's. Sly started to drag himself and Splatt back towards the bushes.
Lora finished her conversation with the tree, and walked back over to Bebe, sitting down on a phone booth that appeared out of nowhere. Lora watched the author think, annoying Bebe. The author started pacing back and forth, trying to think of a pun.
Those morons on Fox can make one, why not I?
"Um, watch out for that…." Cori started to say. But the author didn't watch, and stepped in some shit.
AUGH! Ok, who did this?!
Dunymon looked over. "Sorry. I was trying to Duhgi-volve, but my concentration went elsewhere."
The author sighed.
A vortex opened. Bebe tried to follow the swirling pattern, but got dizzy and fell over on her back. Her shirt started to fly up, exposing some of her torso. Lora turned her attention to that.
Two boys, one tall and the other short, stepped out of the portal. A girl followed her. The author instantly fell in love.
My, your BEAUTIFUL! What's your name, and how did you guys get into my story?
"I'm Musty, this is Crock, and that's Ass. We're from Pukemon, the Mad Magazine rip-off of Pokémon! We don't enjoy people like you being more intelligent than our authors. We challenge you to a Monster match!"
Sly suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and fell on top of the author. "You like me, too, huh?"
The author growled. NO! There is a drop dead sexy and gorgeous girl right in front of me. And you just pop out of nowhere! Where'd you go, anyway?
Sly just smiled in a sly way. "Come on Toromon! We can kick that little Freakahu!"
Ass yelled, "It's Peekachu!"
Hey… waitaminute. Where's Moe and Dizzy? We haven't seen them for some time….
The screen suddenly cuts to a shot of Moe trying to rip off Dizzy's shirt. Everyone gets a sweat-drop, and the author burns the film he was using to record it. There were shouts of fighting, and everyone though they were missing the battle. They all looked at Ass and Sly.
The battle hadn't begun. In fact, Ass and Sly were just trying to climb trees. The yelling was of Ass falling out and landing on his, well… ass.
"What are you two doing?" Bebe asked. She had finally gotten up, much to Lora's disappointment.
"Uh….." Ass and Sly stared at each other. They then stared at their respective monsters, who seemed to be indulged in each other's crap or something.
Okay, this is getting way out of hand. Just fight already!
"Right!" Ass said, and turned his pants backward. Splatt appeared out of nowhere, threw a stick at Bebe, and collapsed, turning into dust. The author stared.
"Ah! SPLATT!" Sly ran over to the dirt and hugged it. "NO!" Ass looked on, confused as ever. Suddenly he felt a tap on the shoulder, and swung around to around to see Splatt. Splatt gave Ass a huge kiss, and Sly got envious.
"NO WE'LL FIGHT! I WILL FIGHT FOR MY LOVE, SPLATT!" Sly yelled. Ass sighed.
"I don't want your boyfriend, just a battle! Peekachu, go! Thunderjack attack!"
Peekachu jumped into the air, and grabbed his Author here. Since I want to keep this at PG-13, I'll…. Ah, screw it. 'jack', which shot a lightning bolt out at Toromon. The bolt hit with uncanny accuracy, knocking Toromon down, taking out most of the energy. Toromon tried to get up, but instead concentrated too hard, and sent a turd flying toward peekachu. It hit peekachu in the gut, knocking him out. Toromon was no able to stand.
I declare Toromon the winner! Now to finish the STOOPID fic.
The author started writing his final paragraphs, then stopped and turned to Bebe and Lora, who were reaching up at each other's shirts. The author stared for a few minutes, then made them go into bushes, not one to really watch. Cori and T.J. had tried to use their Duhgimon as sword, but ended up hitting each other and both got knocked out. The author sighed and wrote the last word.
End.
What do I have to say? :P
This is just some retarded shit I thought up. Like it, like it. Don't like it, screw you.
J/k