Butterfly's Sleep copyright 1999 to L'Arc~en~Ciel.
Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu.
VII. Suspension
There's an ocean between us
You know where to find me
You reach out and touch me
I feel you with my whole heart
More than a lifetime, it seems like forever
But I'll always remember
You're only an ocean away |
--Sarah Brightman, Only an Ocean Away
It rained the day Yui left for England, and the flight was almost canceled.
She woke up looking at the gray sky. She had left the window open the night before, and the rain during the night had seeped into the room and was dripping down the sill and onto the wooden desk. The roads to the airport weren't much better, and the radio warned that storms would continue into the evening.
But the flight wasn't canceled, much to Yui's relief. It was delayed about an hour and a half until the skies were clear enough for the plane to be able to take off, but no other serious accidents befell and an hour and a half later, she was sitting and staring out the window at the rain clouds as the plane made its way towards England.
The flight there was not particularly long, compared to the flight from Japan to San Francisco, and she had gotten plenty of sleep the night before so she was not tired. Will and Barbara had given her a note before she had gotten on the plane. "Don't open this until you're well underway!" Barbara had warned.
Yui supposed that now was considered "well underway," so she carefully opened the envelope, pulling out a folded piece of paper and a picture. She placed the picture in her lap and unfolded the letter.
Yui,
Hopefully you're on the plane right now reading this. We just wanted to wish you a safe and happy trip to Europe. When you get back, Tom, Mary, and Steven might already be home, so we enclosed a picture for you to identify them before you come home so you won't be too confused. Tom is the one on the right, Mary in the middle, and Steven on the left.
Again, have a very safe trip! We'll be thinking of you. We've enjoyed having you stay with us and hope that you've enjoyed it too.
Will and Barbara
She smiled as she placed the letter back in the envelope and held the picture up to the light. It was a simple picture against a dark backdrop, from the quality of it taken very recently. Tom, the dark haired man, stood to the left, his hand on his sister's shoulder, smiling gently. Mary was sitting, hair arranged in waves over one shoulder. Her hands, folded in her lap, had dark red nails. And Steven was grinning happily from Mary's other side, longish blond hair flopping over one eye and lopsided smile infectious.
Yui glanced at the picture once more and then stuck it back in the envelope. There was something that tickled the back of her mind when she had looked at it…but she couldn't remember what it was. Shrugging it off, she placed the envelope back in her purse.
The plane landed in London in the late afternoon, and by the time Yui had made her way down to the baggage claim and made sure her luggage was all together, the sky was beginning to darken. The crowds were thinning and she stood, scanning the airport, hoping that the person who had been scheduled to come pick her up had not forgotten her.
"Are you Yui Hongou?"
The voice made her jump. The stocky man standing behind her smiled at her reaction, holding out his hand. "I'm Phillip Cartwright. Call me Phillip. Are you here for the exchange program?"
She had recovered enough to shake his hand, noting that Phillip Cartwright didn't have a British accent. He was a few inches taller than her, with dark brown hair cut short and an athletic physique. "Yes, sir. Pleased to meet you."
He shook her hand enthusiastically. "Great! You're probably wondering about the lack of British accent," he continued, releasing her hand and lifting two of her bags. "I'm actually from the States. I'm a captain in the US Air Force stationed over here at Mildenhall Air Force Base, and I'm in London on leave."
"I see," said Yui, following him down to the entry doors.
"I actually lived in London for about seven years of my life before I went back to the United States for college, so I know my way around pretty well. And you're from-"
"Japan."
Phillip nodded. "Ah. That's right. Slipped my mind."
His car was a small red Mustang and he slipped her suitcases inside the trunk. "I think you'll like where you're staying. It's a small bed-and-breakfast, and I have a room next to yours. You're staying how long?"
"About four days, sir."
He nodded absently, revving up the engine and backing the car out of the parking space. "Great. I'll have lots to show you. Maybe we could even catch a train up to Scotland for a day or so and see some old Celtic ruins."
"That sounds fun," Yui said, watching the scenery outside the window. She could see the large clock tower-Big Ben?-above the city horizon. London was not at all like any American city. It was ancient and forbidding and warm all at the same time, and she craned her neck, trying to take in everything at once.
Phillip laughed. "Don't worry, you'll get plenty of tours. I'll see to that. There's so much to do in London…pity you're only staying four days."
"I'm sure your tours will be wonderful, sir."
He laughed again. "Buttering me up, are you? I don't know this city as well as some, but I'd like to think that I know it pretty darn well."
The cur purred through the winding narrow streets, slowing and then stopping at a larger building on a street corner. "Toast of Britain Bed and Breakfast," the sign swinging outside read. Phillip eased the car into one of the few empty parking spots and turned it off.
"Here we are. I've already registered us, so I'll just give you your key right now." A small piece of metal settled in her outstretched hand and Phillip stepped out of the car, walking around to open her door and then digging her luggage out of the small trunk.
"I believe your room is number 20. Mine is 19, next to yours, so just walk over and knock real loud if there's a problem."
"Thank you, sir."
"Just call me Phillip," he said easily, carrying her suitcases to the door and bracing them open with his foot. "I get kind of nervous if people besides the ones that work under me call me sir."
Yui smiled. "I see."
The bed and breakfast was small but cozy. The furnishings inside Yui's room were comfortable, though a bit worn. She pushed her suitcases inside the door, noting that Phillip looked like he had already settled in.
She arranged the luggage by the wall, mentally reminding herself to write Will and Barbara later. Her stomach growled. Walking outside in the hallway, she listened at Phillip's door for a moment, then knocked softly.
The door opened and gray eyes blinked at her. "You find everything to your liking?"
She nodded. "I was just wondering where I could find something to eat."
Phillip jumped. "Oh! I almost forgot. Hold on a minute while I change, and then we can go get some dinner. There's a nice little café down the street that's open late and cheap. I think you might like it."
Struggle with a child whose screaming dreaming
Drowned by the props all steely sunshine
Sick of you, sick of me
Lust for the free life
Quashed and maimed
Like a valuable loved one
Left unnamed
Seemed like another day
I could fly into the eye of God on high
|
--David Bowie, African Night Flight
The café Phillip took her to was small and quaint and based on a French design ("But these French copies of cafés are never as good as the real thing," said Phillip.) Yui ordered some soup and bread, and Phillip munched on a pastry.
"I've already had my dinner," he explained when she asked him. "I eat early, about four in the afternoon. Yeah, I know it's weird."
"I didn't say it was weird," Yui said, sipping her soup. It tasted faintly of exotic spices and warmed her stomach.
Phillip grinned. "So why are you over here anyway? Just decided to try it out?"
"I was offered a scholarship from the University of Tokyo to spend a summer in America. I was the first person on their list, so they offered me this European trip as well."
Phillip whistled. "Wow. You must be pretty good. I can tell you right now your English is fantastic."
"Thank you." She felt herself reddening.
"I wish Americans were as polite as you. They could sure learn a few things from people like you."
"What do you do in the Air Force?"
"Me? Oh, I'm a Fuels manager. I supervise refueling of planes when they come in and take off. Not a very hard job, but there's lot of paperwork…the people who work under me are great though." He took another bite of his pastry. White cream oozed out the middle. "I tell you, when you get a job later, make sure you have some good people working under you and with you. That's where it all counts."
Yui nodded. Good people…
I had good people, once. And I didn't know how to use them.
Suboshi…
"Did I say something wrong?"
Phillip's normally cheerful face was frowning as he looked at her. She blinked. "Oh. No, just thinking."
He looked relieved. "For a moment there I thought I offended you or something. Sorry. I offend people very easily. Not good for an Air Force officer…I have to learn to watch my tongue. Sometimes things slip out that I don't mean and they're hard to take back."
"I wasn't offended," Yui assured him hastily. "Just remembering things."
He nodded, taking a drink of his soft drink. "Memories…they're nice to go through once in a while. I have lots of memories of living in London when I was younger. It's a nice enough city, though I could never get over how old it was. It has an entirely different feel than an American city."
Yui nodded. "I noticed that when we were driving through today. I like it though."
"It's a great city."
The couple that had been eating at the next table paid the tab and left, and it had grown fully dark outside. Streetlamps lit the streets and the full moon shone down, its light mingling with the warmer lights of the shops and the streetlights.
"Thank you for the meal," Yui said.
"No problem. I'm here to treat you for the next four days, so if you need anything, just ask."
Gray eyes smiled in the darkness at her, and she found herself smiling back. His cheerfulness was infectious.
"I will."
Well you said substitute
Burn myself on your bed
Your crown of thorns
My crown of lead
I'll wake up before I drown
All my love, let's be free
|
--Bush, English Fire
At first she didn't know why she had awakened in the middle of the night. The room was dark and the moonlight poured in from behind the curtains.
As she lay there breathing softly, something tickled the inside of her nose. She sniffed. Was that…smoke? Sitting up to make sure, she saw a faint reddish glow under the door.
Fire!
Jumping out of bed, she ran to the bathroom, remembering all the fire safety they had emphasized when she was younger. Wet a towel. Wedge it under the door. Feel the door to see if it's hot. Her palm burned when she touched the wood, and she quickly drew her hand back. Going out the door was obviously not an option. Her glance flew to the window and quickly she ran to it, throwing back the bolt. There was no mesh screen, and she was on the first floor.
Throwing her purse out from the window and a smaller item of luggage, she climbed out the window herself, landing with a slight grunt. From her position on the ground she could see the red glow through some of the windows. Phillip's window was dark. She banged on it with her fist.
"Phillip? Phillip!"
No answer.
Yui ran to the front door of the inn, on the other side. There was a small crowd of people gathered there, standing in groups of two or three, some stumbling out the door coughing, some coming around the corner of the building. She could see the smoke billowing out.
Yui started to move forward, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. A chubby man moved her back, shaking his head.
"Don't go in there, lassie. The firefighters are coming, and they'll take care of it."
"But my friend-"
"He's probably out here-"
A sharp cry cut short the man's reply and Yui turned slightly to see a weeping woman being held back by a man, presumably her husband.
"Mother! Mother!"
The chubby man winced. "I guess they didn't all get out."
"There must be something we can-"
The man shook his head firmly. "You're going to get yourself killed. Now just wait here."
"Look!"
The shout pierced the silence. From within the burning building, a few shapes moved. The woman who had been crying about her mother rushed forward as an older woman staggered out of the smoke.
"Mother!"
There was a younger woman, doubled over and coughing, and an elderly man, who was immediately assisted by several others who had been standing around. Yui squinted, trying to see…
And then she saw him, carrying a figure in his arms, walking a bit unsteadily. His hair was singed and there were black smudges on his clothes, but he was alive.
"Phillip!"
one foot in front of the other, to a place on the grass, where he lay down the child in his arms. The little boy coughed and began to wail. Phillip collapsed on the ground next to him, choking and rubbing his eyes.
"Phillip! Are you all right?"
There was something on his neck. She lifted the collar of his dirty shirt and gasped, reaching out to touch the glowing kanji symbol.
Basket.
Miboshi…?
"Phillip? Phillip!"
He cracked open one eye, looking at her, and then both his eyes widened as he took in her features. She rolled him over on his back, brushing bits of ash from his face and clothes.
"I-I-"
"Don't talk."
"Seiryuu no Miko!"
"Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. Yui-sama-"
She managed a smile. "I must admit I would never have imagined Miboshi as an United States Air Force officer."
He coughed again, but it sounded better. There was a wailing in the distance. The fire station had arrived in full force.
"I never did, either," he said, once his coughing had subsided. He tried to lift his head, but dropped it with a sigh. "Damn…this is just too weird. I never thought-I'm not dreaming, right?" He blinked at her. "I really did have a past life…and all that?"
"Yes, you did."
"It all makes sense now," he whispered.
"What does?"
"The weird dreams I've been having…"
A tap on her shoulder. She looked up. A fireman was offering her his gloved hand, and two others were preparing to transfer Phillip to a stretcher.
"Ma'am, are you all right?"
She nodded. "I have some belongings outside in the grass over there-?"
The firefighter thought a moment. "It should be safe. I'll take you there."
Moving down an open road
Asking my heart for direction cause we're so close
I can see the faded signs leading to the same destination
But you're not there
We're dancing to the music that ended long ago
You've done everything that you can do
|
--BBMak, I Can Tell
The outside of the inn was still intact, but the inside had mostly been burned down. The firefighters couldn't say what had caused the blaze, but the inn's staff assured everyone that they would be compensated for losses.
Yui had rescued her purse and a small suitcase full of clothes, but all her other luggage had been destroyed along with everything else. It was a small loss, as things went. Her CDs, money, and valuables had been in her purse, so she had not lost anything important. Still, it was a setback. She had enough clothes to last the next few days, but not enough for a week. And she didn't think Phillip would like to go shopping.
Phillip was much better after some water and rest. They had been offered shelter at the local fire station, fifty people crammed into one large room, sleeping and talking and resting. Yui sat with him in a corner, waiting. He was pale, from, Yui guessed, shock at finding out his past as much as shock from the fire.
"I can't believe it," he said again, a phrase he had been repeating for the last few hours. "I can't believe I-damn, that-I can't believe it."
"I know," Yui said patiently. She didn't think he was feverish, but then again, what did she know?
"I'd been having dreams for the last couple of years, but I didn't know what they were. They were memories, I guess. I'm sorry…I must sound like a complete idiot to you, babbling. Did you know?"
"That you were Miboshi? No, I didn't. You don't look anything like him."
He grimaced. "That's understandable. I was a twisted bastard, wasn't I?"
"Uh…you could say that, I suppose."
"You can say that. I didn't like you much, and you didn't like me much. I remember."
"Well," Yui said, "I hardly knew much about you. None of us did."
"Be glad," Phillip said, leaning against the wall, closing his eyes. "Be very glad."
"You saved that child today from the fire. And those people."
"Oh, I know. The Air Force officer part of me would have never forgiven myself if I hadn't gone back to look for any others. Funny that I actually helped the child."
Yui said nothing.
"You're not angry at me, are you?"
"Angry?" She looked at him. "For what?"
"For being…what I am. I could tell you about the things I did before I met Nakago in Kutou…but I doubt you would want to hear them." He looked faintly sick. "I don't even want to think about them. I remember I didn't care about the other seishi much. I didn't care about you at all…"
Yui shook her head. "I didn't care, either. Not for any of you."
"That was the problem, I think," Phillip said softly. "We weren't a team…we kept wondering why the Suzaku seishi kept going despite such harsh circumstances. Because they were a team. They worked together and got the job done…for us, it was every man-or woman-for themselves. A bad plan."
"I know," Yui said. "Believe me, I've thought about it."
"We all schemed and plotted and used each other, and in the end it didn't even matter. I suppose it's rather funny…my profession now. Without teamwork, the military would get nowhere. Maybe an unconscious lesson learned from past experiences."
Yui smiled tentatively. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, Yui-sama."
"Just Yui is fine now."
Phillip smiled. His color looked a little better. "Just checking."
"Only three more to go…" she murmured, more to herself than to him.
"Three what?"
"Seishi. You were the fourth one that I found."
"Ah. You're actively searching."
She shook her head. "You just seem to come to me. I suppose seishi are still drawn to the miko in this world like it was in the last. It's strange…"
"I see. That would make sense."
"I don't think if I actively searched that I would find seishi any faster. There seems to be a plan in this, somehow. Seiryuu's destiny? I don't know."
"Suboshi."
She started. "What?"
"Suboshi," Phillip said. "That's who you really want to find, isn't it?"
Yui frowned at him. "What are you talking about?"
"It was rather obvious that the two of you were in love. Even to someone like me."
She shook her head violently. "No. No no. He might have had a crush on me for a while, but it surely wasn't anything permanent. I didn't feel anything for him…it wasn't anything."
"Are you sure?"
Yui-sama, I love you!
"Yes, I'm sure," Yui snapped, then instantly regretted her tone. Why was the subject making her so upset?
Phillip didn't look convinced. "If you say so. Maybe I'm imagining things…my memories are all jumbled together inside my head with my dreams and I can't sort them out quite yet."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be angry at you. It's all right."
"Teamwork," he said again, reflectively. "That's the key. Remember that, Yui. Trust in other people…know that the other person trusts you. That's the only way to accomplish anything."
"I've always had a hard time trusting people," she said softly.
"I know." Phillip's expression was serious, but his eyes were smiling, though a bit sadly. "So have I. But I found out that it's never too late to learn."
One hand reached out to touch her shoulder. She felt a surge of emotion for a reason she didn't understand, let it wash over her and subside, leaving only the face of the seishi who had once been faceless, nameless, looking at her solemnly. He had changed, just like the rest of them, and she suddenly felt very young, very vulnerable.
"Trust," he said. "Remember that. It's the answer…to everything."
And life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river and I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I want to be standing
At the beginning with you
|
--Donna Lewis, At the Beginning
|
