Disclaimer: *SIGH* I don't own Pocket Monsters or anything so don't sue me, lala, cuz if you sue me TRUST ME you will regret it. . .^^()()()()()
Okies, time for name translations for those of you who have no idea...
Mushashi = Jessie
Kojiro = James
Nyasu = Meowth
Satoshi = Ash
Takeshi = Brock
Kasumi = Misty
Jenusa = Jenny (as in Officer Jenny)
I dunno where this came from, but I needed to write something so this came out. I know so far everything up here I have is short, but I have another fic I'm going to put up soon that's nice and long so just wait a little while ^^()
Failure
I don't know if there's really any way of saying it. I've said it so many times, at least to myself - I'd never give up this kind of emotion to anyone, for God's sake - that all the ways of describing this more than common situation have clashed together and become one. Therefore, I have no idea what's going on.
It'd been two days. I was stuck out in the middle of the forest, as usual (well, kinda), waiting for that freaking kid to show up with that electric rat. And as far as I was, and am, concerned, twerp + Pikachu + me (or us, or whatever) = pain. So basically, I was sitting there with little bugs crawling up my skirt waiting for pain. It came of course, within due time.
And for some reason it took me *that* long to realize that there was really no point. I'd tried the motto once alone; I don't know why I took it upon myself to try it again.
"Ahem - Nanda kanda to kikare tara! Kotaete ageru ga yo no nasake SEKAI NO HAKAI o fusegu tame! Sekai no heiwa o mamoru tame, ai to shinjitu no aku o turanuku! Lovely charmy na kataki yaku, MUSASHI. . . "
And that was where I lost it.
At least, the last time I'd tried the motto alone Kojiro had eventually busted in and finished his part. But he wasn't there this time. Even so, why was it so hard for me to just say 'Musashi!' and not have to add 'Kojiro!' to the end?
Because it isn't *the* motto.
It's *our* motto.
Nyasu's, too.
God, Nyasu.
Having realized this and finding that there was no reason to continue with my - our - usual show of impeccible talent, I simply went for the Pika. I just. . .lunged for it. Maybe it was from lack of salary, maybe it was lack of sleep, maybe it was the throbbing vein in my head that doubles in size every time we loose, and maybe it was from the forlorn feeling - no, knowledge - that I'd never see him again. Or even that stupid cat.
This method proved effective. I leapt at the Pikachu while at the same time hurling one of my Monster Balls at Satoshi and those morons. As it hit Takeshi square in the face Arbok leapt out, and as though reading my mind turned around and launched a powerful poison sting unto an unfortunate Kasumi. The wild snake then coiled tightly and then suddenly leapt out, knocked the cringing Kasumi to the ground.
One look and not a split second more at me told Arbok that it was to continue. That thing can read my mind, I swear it. She turned to face Takeshi and Satoshi and glared at them. Her eyes began to glow, and soon the two found themselves unable to move.
It must have been her instinct that drove Arbok to coil around Pikachu and stare it down as it did it's trainer.
"Good job, Arbok." I said as I picked up the fallen rat. "And how many years did it take to do this?" I thought to myself as I headed to the Rocket Gundan Headquarters.
I couldn't believe it. It was too good to be true. I had actually gotten Pikachu with *no* help except for *my own* Pokemon!
But that thought made me cringe. I'd done it alone. I had actually accomplished my - our - goal. But I'd done it alone. And I remembered why I'd joined Rocket Gundan in the first place.
I hadn't wanted to do it alone.
You can probably guess what happened next. The effect of Arbok's attacks had worn off on Satoshi, and the little pest was hot on my heels.
All I actualy *care* to remember, though I *do* recall the entire event, was hearing "Go Lapras!" and being hauled off to jail by a Jenusa in a frozen lump.
And now I sit here wondering why I countinue. It's fate, I suppose, that has me stuck here for the next five years. I figure, I was supposed to learn to stop after what happened to them - to us.
It was mutual. I can only imagine that I felt just as much pain as he did.
At least, I hope I did.
I hope I felt more.
Because I deserved it.
And obviously someone thinks I deserve it now, too, as I lie in this dank and grimy cement cell. I don't know how they found out. But I guess they did.
They've left me alone.
I have no one.
Not even another cell next to mine, let alone one containing another person.
When I was first brought down, the guards jokingly referred to it as "The Hole."
I sit all day and hear nothing.
I get food sent down through a chute.
The slick sliding of the styrafoam plate on it's greasy pathway is the only thing other than my own voice that's kept my eardrums from going dead.
I wouldn't be surprized if I died down here.
And I'm starting to wish I do.
But I can't; they give me nothing - I don't even have anything I could kill myself with.
It's the one thing I'm afraid of more than anything else.
Being alone.
Which makes me sound even more like a fool. I always acted so independant. I *am* independant, it's just that I need someone just to. . .
Be there.
That's what Kojiro was.
Was.
God, why did it have to end?
He was more than *there*.
He was more than anything.
More than anything I'd ever had, or deserved, for that matter.
Sometimes I'd look at him and wonder why he put up with me.
And now, I suppose, he never did.
Well, he did, but only in front of my face.
I cried when I found it.
I cried for days.
I never thought it was possible for pent-up anger to release itself in the forms that it did for Kojiro. And I feel guilty that he was never able to fully vent them out on me.
A little book is all he felt he had. He could have clobbered me at any time. It's too bad he loved me so much that he felt he was never able to do so.
There were never times he wanted to kill me. But I am sure that there were plenty of times that he wanted to leave.
Confusion.
There could be nothing more that he felt.
There could be nothing more that I feel.
I want him back.
He wanted me gone.
I think.
I am a fool.
I failed.
At my - our - mission, at our relationship.
I failed.
There's no other way of putting it.
~~~
Author's Note: When I wrote this I intentionally didn't say what happened to Kojiro and Nyasu. That's what y'all have imaginations for! ^_^ I don't plan on making a sequel, but if you have an idea about what *might* have happened to them and you really want to see it written either write it yourself and send it to me, or email me @ firegal675@yahoo.com and maybe, just maybe, I'll make a sequel