Hello everybody and welcome to the long awaited debut of Too Many Tests.
(Actually it probably isn't long awaited, but it took me long enough to post it, so everyone give me a round of applause.) You would NOT believe the things the gremlins did to try to keep me from posting this. First I can't find it on my hard drive, then the stupid server at ff.net wouldn't let me upload it, something about a @#$% error message. Then when I finally think everything is going all right. I can't log on to ff.net because of some kind of bug.
And THEN my computer decides to crash on me.
Life isn't fair sometimes. Have you guys ever had a 15-page paper due and you can't turn it in because you're stupid computer looks at you and says. "HA! HA! I'm not going to work. And there's nothing you can do-oo."
So I had to trudge back to the computer lab, retrieve my rough draft from my back up disk and then use the meager three hours I had before class to make it look vaguely like what my final draft was supposed to look like.
So if anyone was wondering why it took me so long to post, that's why. I did have to rewrite parts of this, because the really smart computer guy could only get me about 90% of my files retrieved. And of course this was one of the corrupted ones.
After this I've decided not to trust my evil hard drive. I've started backing everything up on two different disks, as well as save it on my hard drive, and then I store those disks in two different spots.
Okay enough with my rambling. This story is probably different from my usual writing style, but I hope you enjoy it.
Mamoru is the main star of this story since he's the only one in college. And so I must disclaim any and all rights to our dearly beloved Mamo-chan....
(Analla grins wickedly as an absolutely delicious thought comes into her mind)
"That line is just too good to pass up. You guys hang on for a moment."
I quickly run to my author's bag of tricks, grab a surprised looking priest, a white dress, a transformed Tuxedo Kamen, sans mask, and all the frills needed for a first class wedding.
Mamoru is standing before the priest, there is a flash as I appear decked out in a to die for white dress. I hand the priest the little marriage book and then take Mamoru's hands.
The priest begins. "Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to witness the joining of this," he pauses for a moment and looks at Mamoru. "Anime character and author in holy matrimony."
"If there is anyone who objects to this union."
A glint of gold flashes in the air as a tiara knocks the book from the priest's hands.
I turn to see an enraged Sailor Moon entering, brandishing her moon scepter. I quickly dodge the slashing weapon and head straight for the cake.
I hide behind it. Hopefully Usagi will forget about attacking me and go after the cake.
Icing and crumbs fly through the air as Usagi takes a swipe for me and hits the cake instead.
Ummm...you guys go read the fic while I try to calm Usagi down.
"Usagi I swear it was just a joke. I didn't mean..."
Dodges scepter.
"YIPES."
"Kat-chan. HELP ME!!!
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Mamoru sat up and groaned as his alarm bleeped annoyingly. "8 o' clock. Why did I set my alarm so late? Oh yeah, the youma." He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and then glanced at the calendar.
"Monday." He thought yawning, it was his least favorite day of the week, it meant that he had to get up and go to schoo....
"Wait a minute." He looked back at his desk calendar; the date was circled in red, which meant that he had a day off from school. Mamoru quickly counted off the holidays in his head trying to remember which one was next. His brain wasn't fully functioning, thanks to the aforementioned youma. He'd been up until three helping Sailor Moon and the other Senshi fight it.
"At least it was the only youma attack we had last week. It gave me time to study for Finals."
"FINALS!!!" The thought hit him abruptly. It was Finals week, known affectionately to the college student body as the teacher's torture test session. Monday was set aside as a reading day and then the rest of the week was given over to the overzealous professors. Mamoru didn't understand how a teacher could lecture a full semester on one subject, then hand the tests out with questions that in no way matched the material that had been covered in class. On further exploration (namely asking the professor involved), he would find that yes the material had been covered; it was the one obscure book on the syllabus that the professor mentioned only once and that the students would just glance through because the material hadn't been covered in class. That's what the final had been on.
"Stupid teachers. They definitely know how to torture people." Right now Mamoru was running an informal inner survey. "Who's worse? Motoki or my college professors." If he ever had the chance to speak with the person in charge of recruiting the minions for the Dark Kingdom, he planned on having one solid nominee.
"Motoki or my teachers?" He wondered. "Definitely my teachers. Who else could think up multiple choice exams?"
Multiple-choice tests were the bane of college existence, the professor would see how long he could pontificate on any given subject. Then give 4-5 answers asking. Is it A)I BII C)III D)I and III or E)none of the above. Or else they would be given a word and then four different definitions and forced to choose between one of them; the catch was that there were only one or two words that set each definition apart. Those were just some of the ways that teachers chose to torture their students. True it did make the students work harder, and hopefully able to differentiate between the niggling little details that no one in the real world cared about. But at the end students would take one look at their C grades and think. "I'm glad I guessed, who knows what would've happened if I actually studied." Maybe a trip to a nice quiet white room with a crisp, freshly ironed straitjacket.
The only thing worse than a multiple-choice test was the dreaded essay exam.
{Analla shudders violently. I HATE essay tests. I LOATHE essay tests with a passion. I'm sorry, but I am not an essay sort of person. Unless I have about a week to look over the subject and then write something that if I'm lucky (and my teacher has a LOT of pity on me) then I receive a C)}
Essays could cover any topic in the entire course, the only problem was that instead of writing your own opinion. Somehow you had to mystically divine what the professor thought on the subject, give at least three concrete examples, refer to various works of literature verbatim, and tie it all nicely together in a five paragraph (or 5 pages) in the time allotted. Usually only a measly two hours. After that the evil professors would sit back to enjoy their summer vacations, leaving the TA's to grade the essays.
{Am I going on too much about tests? Well too bad}
Mamoru sat there in a daze. "Do I really want to face the day?" He pulled his pillow back over his head and tried to fall back asleep. Five minutes later he realized sleep was impossible and pulled a pillow over his head trying to decide how to spend his last day of sanity and freedom.
"No more studying, I overloaded on that last week. I can't cram anything else into my brain." He allowed his mind to wander. "If I don't have school, then I'll miss my daily run-in with odango." He sat up quickly flinging the pillow across the room. How could he actually consider missing his daily sparring with the blonde-headed klutz.
"I must be going crazy." He thought as he dressed quickly and ran out the door.
He made it to the corner only a few minutes before he heard the Usagi express.
"I'm late." The wailing would begin, then escalate in volume until it became a whining pitch. "So late. I don't know why...."
OOMPH!!!
"Watch it odango. Feeding time at the zoo isn't for another two hours."
Usagi glared up at her nemesis flushing brightly. She quickly dodged around him. "I don't have time for this baka." She called over her shoulder as she ran off to school.
Mamoru looked after her slightly offended. "She could have at least tried."
"Oh well, she was later than usual, at least I didn't miss her."
Mamoru continued down the street until he came to the Crown Arcade. He entered, waved to Motoki and ordered his cup of coffee. The one thing he HAD to have to wake him up in the morning.
"So are you ready for finals?" Motoki asked cheerfully.
Mamoru groaned as he set the cup of coffee down and then looked at his best friend, pain echoing in his eyes. "I don't think so. I've studied this past week, but as soon as the tests hit, I KNOW I'll just forget everything."
Motoki patted Mamoru on the back reassuringly. "Don't worry it will be over in five days. After that you're free."
"Yeah right." Mamoru thought. Motoki wasn't going to college he didn't KNOW. "The agony begins right after the tests. You have to wait for your grades, wonder if they'll be high enough, wonder if your teacher will let you take the test next year...."
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Mamoru left the arcade a half-hour later. He had the whole day free and nothing to do with it. "I guess I'll have to study. So he back to his apartment, grabbed his books and then went to the library to study. After ten hours of straight studying he went home and went to bed deciding that finals would be a breeze.
That's when it began.
~~~
He slept until 2 the next day. He woke up, stumbled out of bed, dressed quickly, made himself a cup of coffee and went to his first final
Mamoru had felt a tingling sensation halfway through his test. It was almost how he felt when Sailor Moon transformed, but vaguely different. He tried to shake the sensation off, but it wouldn't go away. It followed him home and decided to take root right in his frontroom.
Mamoru transformed three different times to try to make it go away, but it wouldn't.
~~~~~~~~~~
Usagi stared at the youma fearfully. She'd been running over to Rei's temple after school, when a window shattered and debris flew through the air. A youma popped out of the ice cream store and began draining anyone who was eating ice cream. Usagi reached for her brooch, but her hand only clasped empty air.
"Oh Kami!" She thought as the youma made its way straight towards her. Her head swiveled around looking for her brooch, there it was covered in purple ice cream. She dodged the youma and ran straight for the brooch. By now it was smothered in melted ice cream.
Luckily the Senshi arrived in time to distract the youma again.
Usagi ducked into an alley and said. "Moon Prism Power Makeup."
Nothing happened, no dazzling display of lights. Usagi glared at her brooch. "It's jammed." She cried out indignantly, realizing that the ice cream was probably muffling the sound. She sat down and quickly began to wipe and lick off as much as the ice cream as was possible. "This is the worst flavor I have ever tasted, I never want to see another grape ice cream cone as long as I live."
Finally the ice cream was off, she stood repeated her transformation phrase and then went out to face the youma. The Senshi weren't fairing very well. Makoto was the only one who wasn't covered in the purple goo.
Mercury looked at Sailor Moon, only her head was free of the purple goo. "Sailor Moon, the purple gel is an energy draining potion, don't get hit by it. The people who ate the ice cream are being drained by it. If you get hit you'll be drained but not as fast as those who ate it."
"Oh great." Sailor Moon thought as she fell to her knees.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Finally." Mamoru thought as the tingling sensation intensified and changed into a homing beacon so that he could find Sailor Moon. He was already transformed, he'd decided he couldn't study and welcomed this little distraction. He went out to his balcony and onto the rooftop and then quickly made his way to downtown Tokyo.
When he arrived at the battle site, he was amazed. The only Senshi he could see was Jupiter and she was doing her best to dodge a giant ice cream cone that kept shooting purple goo at her.
"Where's Sailor Moon?" He yelled as he threw a rose that hit the youma right in the eye. Jupiter quickly gestured towards a pile of goo and then jumped to dodge another blast.
"In the gel, it drains you if it comes in contact with your skin."
Tuxedo Kamen nodded as Jupiter waved her arms, gaining the attention of the youma. Mamoru made his way to the mini slush piles and quickly began scraping the goo away, careful to only let it touch his gloved hands and nothing else.
There some hair. He pulled on it only to find it was the color of midnight.
"Let go." Sailor Mars complained pulling her hair away. Tuxedo Kamen pushed her aside and then continued digging through the gunk. He finally found a head of blonde hair, he gently pulled on it.
"Sailor Moon." He whispered as he picked her up and pulled her away.
Usagi fluttered her eyes open. "Tuxedo Kamen." She smiled.
"Sailor Moon." He repeated urgently. "You have to destroy the youma." Mamoru tried to stand Sailor Moon up, but her legs wobbled fiercely.
"I'm too weak." Usagi murmured. "I didn't mean to eat it."
Mamoru held her up with one arm, and then used the other to guide her hand up to her tiara. "I'll help you throw it."
Sailor Moon nodded and grasped her tiara firmly. She called out, "Moon Tiara Action." and then let it fly, trusting Tuxedo Kamen to help her aim.
The tiara hit the youma directly on the forehead. It disappeared in a cloud of dust. The purple solidified and then disintegrated, leaving behind deep purple stains, where it had been.
Sailor Moon looked at her skin and her fuku. "I'm a grape. A big, purple grape. How will I explain this to my mom? What if it doesn't come off?"
Tuxedo Kamen realized that most of Sailor Moon's energy had come back, he let go of her gently and then jumped away.
The other Senshi watched in silence as he disappeared.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mamoru went to his apartment and took the hottest shower of his life. He scrubbed and scrubbed, he finally resorted to getting a scourer from the kitchen. When he was done, his skin was still faintly tinged purple, but it wasn't too noticeable.
.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mamoru didn't know how it started, or who was in charge, but he was beginning to get angry. Now every time when he had a test, he'd begin to get the tingling sensation. A forewarning that Sailor Moon would eventually be in danger. The only problem was that his new clairvoyant sense wouldn't tell him exactly when it would happen. It could be in five minutes or five hours. All that he knew for sure is that Sailor Moon would be attacked sometime before midnight.
It was as if some perverse imp, was watching over his life and as soon as he sat down to take a test, he would get zinged.
With the last youma he'd watched impatiently as Sailor Moon fumbled and kept missing it.
He stepped out of the trees.
"Just hit it." He called as he threw his obligatory rose impatiently. He had a final that had started five minutes ago, that he needed to get to pronto.
Sailor Moon looked at him, her mouth gaping openly. He glared at her. She sighed heavily, and then hit the youma with her tiara. It exploded and Tuxedo Kamen rushed off.
Mamoru raced for his final not even bothering to detransfrom. Somewhere on the way his hat flew off (Have you guys ever wondered how he actually keeps that thing on?) and he removed his mask just as he arrived at the building where the test was being held. Mamoru was about to open the door when he noticed the sign.
Final for Dr. Stewart's class has been moved to
Sci-Tech building.
Room 302
The Sci-Tech building that was all the way across campus. "At least this is something I can use my superhero abilities for." Still transformed Mamoru made several long leaps and arrived at the building in only 30 seconds, where if he had been running it would take about ten minutes.
He rushed in the door. The teacher looked at him in surprise, taking in the formal outfit.
"Ballroom dance final." Mamoru explained as he took his test. "I didn't have time to change. I also didn't realize that we switched buildings."
Dr. Stewart looked at his brightest student strangely. "I e-mailed everyone last night Mamoru. Didn't you check your e-mail?"
Mamoru shrugged helplessly. "I didn't have time." He thought. "Not with a youma to kill and a heroine to babysit. At least this is my second to last test and I refuse to let anything interrupt it."
For some reason the imp must've heard him and he didn't feel a sensation through the entire test.
Halfway through his test his tuxedo was replaced by his jogging suit.
The professor had glanced up and just stared at him. As all of the students were leaving Dr. Stewart pulled Mamoru aside. "How did you do that?" He asked amazed.
"Do what?" Mamoru asked, not even realizing what the professor had seen.
"Change your clothes. You didn't run out to the bathroom did you?"
Mamoru looked down at his jogging suit and groaned slightly. "What do you mean Dr Stewart? This is what I was wearing at the first of class."
Dr. Stewart merely shook his head and mumbled something under his breath.
"If you say so Chiba."
Mamoru left before his teacher could ask any more questions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"My last final." Mamoru wanted to shout with joy, it was almost over. "After this no more tests" He took the crisp paper eagerly and began to quickly fill in the answers. The test was a two-parter and they had three hours to finish. The first test was a multiple-choice test and the second was an essay test.
{Have you ever had a professor that does this to you? I say we ban them.}
Usually Mamoru would complain, but he was so eager to have finals over with that he didn't care anymore.
Just as Mamoru was finishing up with the first test he felt the all-familiar twinge.
"Not now." He thought refusing his last final to be ruined by an anxiety that wasn't even real. Most likely the attack would happen later that day, so he refused to worry about it.
He handed in the first part of his test and then took the second part from the professor. He was about to begin when a rose appeared in his hand and he felt Sailor Moon transform.
"NO!" He cursed under his breath and tried to hold the transformation back. "You've interrupted all my other tests, I refuse to let you do so again. Especially for a false alarm." He hid the rose away from the ever-questing eyes of his teacher and tried to finish his test.
Another rose appeared and he was assaulted by a sharp jab of pain. Agony assaulted his nerves.
Not caring, only wanting to stop the pain. Mamoru wrote down some gibberish, picked up his test, staggered to the front of the room, threw the test at his openly gaping professor and ran out to the hall.
Luckily the corridor was deserted; he gripped the rose and transformed, then hurried to join the fight.
He had almost arrived too late, three of the Senshi were unconscious and Sailor Moon was being held by the youma. Sailor Jupiter was trying to aim for the youma but couldn't hit it with her attack because Sailor Moon was in the way.
Tuxedo Kamen threw a rose to distract the youma. It had let go of Sailor Moon pitching her backwards. Mamoru didn't have time to catch her as she hit the ground. He tried to help her up, but Sailor Moon pulled away indignantly.
"We don't need your help." She informed him coldly. "You didn't help us with the last youma, you don't need to help us with this one." Sailor Moon threw her tiara, and then she let Jupiter and Mars finish the youma off.
"But I had a TEST." Mamoru had wanted to complain, but realized it wouldn't do any good.
That night he dreamed. The princess berated him for not being there to save Sailor Moon; he swore from then on that he would make her his first priority, no matter what. After his meeting with Sailor Moon he returned home and then fell asleep.
(You guys most of this part is described in Chapter 2 SAABIAM if you want to know exactly what happened.)
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His ringing telephone woke him up. Mamoru glared at it and then decided to just let it ring, they'd give up eventually. But it just kept ringing and ringing.
Finally Mamoru snatched the phone up. "What?" He yelled angrily, his voice sharp.
"Mr. Chiba this is Professor Lyells."
Mamoru groaned, she was the teacher who had given him his last final. "Gomen." He said apologizing for his sharp tone. "She's calling about the test, I know she is. Maybe I can retake it next year, I'll tell her my aunt died."
"Are you calling about my test?"
"Hai." Came the soft answer. "It's one of..."
"I'm sorry Professor Lyells," he interrupted smoothly. "I realize that the last half of the test wasn't up to your standards. Perhaps you could let me retake it next year."
"Retake it?" The Professor was stunned. "Mamoru, your work was excellent. I'm giving you an A. You have such a firm grasp on the principles, I think your understanding even exceeds my own in some areas. I was calling to congratulate you and offer you a position next year."
Mamoru had dropped the phone and was lying there in shock. He picked it up and mumbled something to the professor and then hung up.
"Thank you Princess. I should've realized you would be watching out for me."
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Okay that's the end, if you guys don't like it. Well too bad, because I'm not rewriting it again. But don't all of you wish you could have some of those powers. (I could use the leaping across campus in a single bound)
Oh, I finally managed to appease Usagi. (It took ten chocolate milkshakes and a promise) Usagi has already finished off the milkshakes and (clears throat)
I promise to Never Ever EVER try to marry myself off to Mamoru. Even as a joke.
There that should satisfy Usagi.
GUESS WHAT???
She invited me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. (little joyful dance) I suppose that's the next best thing. Although I still wish that I could have Mamoru.
::::IDEA HITS ME::::
Ooh, you guys, this is good. I can't have Mamoru, but I could have Mamoru Jr. I mean they have Chibi-Usa I'm sure they have at least one or two sons. I just need to figure a way to be there when they grow up.
I pull out my trusty computer and look under T for Time Ship.
Grin wickedly as I see I have three different designs to choose from. Click on the design I want and then watch as it is assembled before my eyes.
Stand in front of my timeship dressed in a pilot outfit (think Amelia Earhart) my scarf is blowing freely in the breeze. I climb up the ladder and pulled down the hatch and set the time destination.
Countdown to take off....
10...
9....
8...
7...
There is a tapping on the clear casing. I look up and see Kat-chan. I wave to her eagerly and then gesture for her to get off. I wouldn't want her hurt when I disappear after all.
6...
5...
4...
Kat-chan isn't moving. I stop the countdown and open up the timeship. I guess I do owe her a goodbye at least.
Kat-chan is standing there pointing a gun straight at my face.
"Kat-chan, what's the gun for?"
Kat-chan's voice is steely. "Get out of the ship Analla."
I get out quickly wondering if it's actually loaded. It looks an awful lot like the rifle from Chapter 3 and I know I specifically wrote that it had no bullets.
"It does now." Kat answers my unasked question. "I stopped at the rifle store before coming here."
She gestures and I step further away from the timeship. Once we are both a safe distance away. Kat-chan pulls out a remote and pushes a big red button. My timeship explodes, along with my computer.
"KAT-CHAN!!!" I complain. "Why did you do that?"
She points the gun at me. "You have a story to write, and I'm not letting you go until you finish that."
"But Kat-chan..." I protest feebly.
"I don't want to hear it. You're not going to the future, so start writing the next chapter."
I glare at her. "I would but you just made my computer explode."
Kat blushes fiercely then her look is replaced with steel again. "Well then you can use mine."
I mumble as she leads me to her apartment and then sits me down in front of the computer and waits for me to start typing.
Fine. I begin typing.
This chapter is being written under duress...