Title: In Retrospect...
Written By: Quality Paiges (aka Sailor Air)
Rating: PG-13 (for cussing but really not bad)
Genre: Implied Romance?? Regular type episode? (I guess I really couldn't place it)
Author's Note: This is my attempt at piecing together what happened between the time Relena caught Heero and held him in Endless Waltz and the time the Piolets started blowing up their Gundams. In my mind it takes place over a span of approx. 10 - 12 hours.
In retrospect she knew she should have known he'd be leaving as soon as he was able to. If not sooner. And she knew it was what she really wanted even if it didn't seem it. She'd actually been complimented by his staying at least as long as he was asked.... if you could call it a compliment. It was a form of respect anyway. Could she live without him? Of course. Was she sad now that he was gone? A little... Did she wonder if she should have said something differently? Definitely... But hey hindsight was 20/20, right? She'd live to see him again. She knew that much.
~*Flashback*~
"Miss Relena!" Lady Une cried out in half anxiousness and half surprise. She looked as if she thought she'd never live to see the day when anyone was holding an unconscious Heero Yuy in their arms. If she didn't know him better she'd have thought this was some perverted guys plot to be held and cuddled by Miss Relena. But that was so not Heero Yuy's style.
"Yes I know what you're thinking Lady Une...." Relena began.
Lady Une looked skeptical at this remark but she didn't say anything.
"We have to get Heero to a hospital as soon as possible but I don't think he's too bad off. At least not according to Heero's standards. I think this was trying on him and he needs to rest." Relena said this so nonchalantly, it was if she was convincing herself of it while she seemed to be convincing everybody else.
"Yes. You're right." She paused after she said this. "You." She said pointing to one of Dekim's soldiers who was gawking at the entire sight. "Get some medical personal." The soldier continued to stand there. "Now would be nice." She said prompting with the annoyance growing in her voice.
Relena continued to hold on to Heero not saying anything, not doing anything but holding him. She seemed to be a million miles away and totally grounded at the same time, if that was possible. She was there, she'd respond to the questions asked of her, and she was in perfect control of her faculties but she seemed somehow removed from the situation as if it wasn't affecting her. Une took full responsibility for Mariemaia taking the greatest care of Treize's daughter.
The ambulance came and Relena went in it with Heero. The paramedics attempted to stop her but she paid them no heed brushing them off with a simple wave of her hand. She only parted with him with they took him into the ER.
Noin came to see her then.
"Relena is everything okay?" She questioned her, but she knew she'd get the same answer either way.
"Everything is fine. It's all under control. The paramedics just took Heero into the ER. He's unconscious but he's fine I'm sure." Her voice was composed and one of the well rehearsed diplomat.
"What happened back there with Mariemaia and Heero, what went on inside? I saw you on the monitor for a moment but then you were gone." The tone of her voice this time was more inquisitive than worried.
"The moment just before I came on the monitor I realized Mariemaia was a child, of course I fully understood the fact before in my head. What I didn't see was that Mariemaia needed to grow up, fast. That sort of childness could not be tolerated in war, she didn't realize the affect she had. She knew she was playing with other people's lives but she didn't understand. In a way she reminded me of myself, naive concerning how what she did affected other people. She thought she was following her father's ideals just like I did. I slapped her before Miss Une could, I needed to be the one to do it. I think it's because we could empathize with each other." Relena paused here but before she could continue Noin interrupted.
"Relena that's not true, yes in ways your similar you both had prestigious fathers but she was affecting people's lives in a bad way. You wanted to lead them to peace. You did it because you knew it was right." She was insistent on this matter.
"What is right.... that is so subjective. Mariemaia knew she was right too, she thought she could end what she believed to be the never ending cycles of war, peace, and revolution. She thought she could change the world and so did I. So in a way I think yes we are very similar. But it's no great matter. That Mariemaia is dead now. Herro killed her with his invisible bullet and Mariemaia was lying down very close with Une and I, and I felt her die. Of course she's alive and well the wound she receive from Dekim did shed quite a bit of blood but it was only a flesh wound. It will hurt and she'll have a scar, she might need to take it easy for a while but nothing too permanent. The part of Mariemaia that died was the part that needed to hate, the part that didn't' really understand her father. After that Heero became unconscious. I don't know what he's thinking but it was too much even for him." Relena gave this information to Noin as if it was text book she felt at peace with herself. Very resolved.
"I see." Noin accepted all this quietly but unspoken words still hung between them. Relena brought them up.
"I hear my brother didn't rest too well in his grave." It was said rather flippitantly in jest.
"No. He was never one to be a heavy sleeper. But he questions what do next and he wants to look to you for answers." More was implied here than was said.
"I don't expect I'll be seeing him soon though." Relena's emotions slipped into a quiet descending sadness.
"No. I wouldn't expect it." Noin confirmed this without any trace of giving Relena false hope.
"I've been thinking about terraforming on Mars. It would be dangerous but it interests me. You should let him know."
"I think he'll appreciate that." Noin was already planning on how to tell him where they were headed.
"Oh Noin. When you leave do keep in contact. I'll miss you." Relena didn't need to explain any further.
"I will." This promise was sealed with a hug and Sally decided to make her entrance.
"Guys I got to talk to some of the doctors and everything is fine with Heero. Although I hear he's giving them a hard time in ICU. Man I can relate to that." Sally replied with the voice of experience.
Relena and Noin chuckled and Noin gave her goodbyes.
Sally was about to say goodbye to Relena. Nothing needed to be said between them. Relena gave her a warning before she left though. "Sally I think you need someone new on the Preventors. Noin will be transferring to another project soon."
Sally was puzzled for a moment but when she remembered Relena's unusual hug with Noin and Noin's happy goodbye instead of a c-ya she realized what she meant. "I understand Relena, we'll talk later."
Sally walked away passing the rest of the Gundam piolets on their way to see Relena for some sort of an update. Sally called out to Wufei in the corridor. "Wufei I need to talk to you about something. We need to talk."
Wufei chose to ignore this.
"Wufei!" She called again. Still no response.
"Miss Sally we need you right away. We want to ask your medical advice on something." A nearby male nurse told Sally, ignoring her one sided conversation with Wufei.
"Wufei I need to talk to you later." She yelled running backwards down the hallway trying to follow the nurse directing her through the corridors as the same time.
"Relena your knights in shining Gundams come to save you again, eh?" Duo asked laughingly.
"Well I still can't understand why everyone wants to kidnap me.." She just as teasingly responded even though it was very true.
"Is Heero alright Miss Relena?" Of course Quatre asked that question.
"Oh it's only a concussion. I'm sure a guy that could set his own broken leg can handle it." The statement was completely serious but people in passing would have thought it a joke.
"Feh. That guy never did know how to sit back and relax." Duo said indignantly with a slight grimace he remembered Heero's little leg stunt. Even repeating it as joke to Relena had been disgusting to him.
"I think you relax enough for all of us Duo." Trowa replied. This surprised Relena since she never had been sure if she had ever heard his voice.
"Well somebody's got to and it might as well be me." This is where everyone lapsed into silence. They had all grown and had more of an alliance with each other than a friendship.
"What do you plan on doing with your Gundams?" Relena asked with the interests of keeping peace in check.
"This time they will be destructed. Sending them off to the sun was silly. Poetic justice perhaps, like the cowboy heading of into the sunset but it was a ridicules idea. We'll just use the self-detonation devices this time." Quatre said this knowing full well he didn't' want another mission to Venus.
Relena only nodded and silence fell once more.
"I'd go and visit Heero but I have a feeling even my charms won't be enough to lift his spirts. I'll talk to him later. I know he doesn't want to see me right now." He looked towards Relena who was indifferent towards this remark. When did Heero ever feel like socializing? "Anyway Relena I'll keep in touch, I'm sure Hilde will want to see you soon." He concluded.
"I'd enjoy that Duo." Duo turned and left. Trowa and Wufei followed but Relena called after Wufei receiving the same sort of response as Sally had been given, she yelled her message down the corridor anyway. "Wufei make sure you don't leave Earth without talking to Sally!" She felt better making sure she said that even if she hadn't received any acknowledgment of her statement.
"I'm assuming you'll be making some sort of speech on what just happened Relena." Quatre said.
"Yes tomorrow probably. I'll see you there since you're the head of the Winner Corporation now and all."
"Yes I'm sure it's what my father would have wanted. He spent his life dedicated to working for others and now I want to help rebuild the lives that were hurt in the war." Quatre said this with a lot of conviction.
"I know Quatre. You really all do have kind hearts." She smiled the smile that said she had realized this fact long ago but hadn't said it out loud.
"I'd wish they realize that." Those were Quatre's parting words with Relena as he left the same way the other Gundam piolets had.
Relena left to visit Heero five minutes after her unusual goodbye to Quatre.
Relena entered the perfect soldiers room without knocking. He was awake and his eyes were completely open. His eyes were boring holes into the ceiling apparently he was very interested in the dots in the ceiling tiles. He didn't appear to have any outward injuries besides a few bruises and an IV inserted just above his right wrist. He wasn't wearing a shirt but the sheets on the bed covered up most of his chest. He saw Relena come in the room without responding to her visit. He was a stiff and stoic as ever.
Relena picked up the medical chart at the end of the bed even though she didn't know what she was looking at and put it down when she realized that she already knew Heero was fine and she didn't know what the hell and EKG was anyway.
"I'm glad you're all right Heero." She spoke genuinely.
"I want to leave." Heero told her, without grace.
"I know." Relena replied.
Nothing was said for a moment after that. Heero didn't have anything to say and Relena was waiting to finish her thought for dramatic effect.
"I also know you could leave if you wanted too. Don't bullshit me and say the doctors are preventing it or some crap like that because you've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. You don't need my permission but I would like you to stay at least till tomorrow to know your healed at least." Her voice started steady but before long it came out like an emotional catharsis.
He looked at her apparently unfazed by her outburst but he nodded just the same. Relena sighed in relief at the sight of this.
"What do plan on doing now Heero?" She was genuinely curious.
"I don't think war will rise again. The people saw too much with Treize to be any less unaffected and any blood thirst they had left was erased by Mariemaia. War was my purpose. The soldiers purpose. I thought I wouldn't know what was left when war was gone. I always found it ironic that eliminating war was my purpose and war my life. But now I know there's still something left to do."
Since Heero didn't continue, Relena didn't pursue the matter it was no use asking someone something they didn't want to tell you and even though she was curious as to what Heero would do next she thought it best not to ask.
"I will miss you Heero, I have missed you. But I'm not so possessive that I'll ask you to stay, I said it before but that would be wrong. We have our own life's it's best we part, even I have trouble accepting this. I hope to see you again though." Here voice held only a trace of sadness but was mostly cheerful and hopeful for the future.
Heero accepted this and found at least in one case Relena was completely right on every matter. To him at first it seemed that Relena and he had been on totally different levels of existence but over time he had learned their goals and their determination and passions for those goals was the same. It was their means to achieve those goals that they parted ways. It was in that way that they were opposite. Superficially they were as different it came but it went but the truth went deeper than that. What Relena had hoped was an undeniable fact and he stated as much in the most matter-o-fact way possible. "It seems that is inevitable."
Relena smiled thinking of this. "I hope by that time it won't be to kill me." Heero didn't respond well to this internally. Okay he had tried to kill the girl at least half a dozen times but really didn't he save her too? He didn't comment though he understood it was a joke. Relena continued. "Anyway if you'd like come to my speech tomorrow I'm sure you'll find a way to get in." She smiled at this and left.
~*End Flashback*~
In retrospect she knew nothing could have gone better. So now he was gone and even if she knew it was for the best and it was the way it still affected her. It didn't hurt, bother, or even annoy but it affected her. Her solace was in thinking the world was not so wide that they should not meet again.
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So what did you think? I really liked how this one turned out, it was origionally only supposed to be like 1 or 2 pages but once I started writing it just kept going for 7 so I'm really pleased. It was also a goal of mine to write something entirely in 3rd person so this fic worked out well for me. I tried to stay true to the characters and the actual plot of GW and the way things progress in the series but I'd appreciate some feedback either way. And I'd like to think of this as my rebirth at fanfiction.net and I hope to get more up soon!
One out of five gundam piolets agree giving response to a fanfiction writer is beneficical to your health. Two didn't say anything. One just sipped his tea and smiled and the other one muttered "Onna." and walked away. We like to think he mean "I'll get back to you on that."