THE SCARED WITCH PROJECT
CHAPTER 1 - Finding Forest
The camera turns on and we see Zelda adjusting the camera to get her in view. She is at a table in a library and
picks a book out of the bookshelf and opens it.
"Hi", she begins. "In our quest to find the Scared Witch who is said to be lurking in the Lost Woods, me and two
of my pals--"
Mario and Link comes in from the right and pushes Zelda to the side and smiles to the camera.
"That would be us!" Link says.
"Yeah, and this documentary will be terrific", Mario adds.
"I know", says Zelda, "but if you'd just get out of view now and let me continue..."
"Alright. Save the best for last, eh?" Link says and smiles.
"Yeah, in your dreams" Zelda says and continues. "Anyway, this book - 'Witches Now and Before' - will
hopefully help us on our way. So I'll just look in the index... 'S' 'Streisand, Barbra'... no, not the witch we're
looking for... 'Scared Witch, The'. Ahh, there we got it! Page 612."
So she browses to page 612, where the three of them reads the following:
"SCARED WITCH, THE
In the 18th Century, a woman lived in a small village called Hair. She used to bring children to her house to
read fairy tales for them. They were all very nice fairy tales about romance and friendship because she got too
scared when there were fighting and violence involved. The parents of the children thought she was very nice
to their kids and loved to let them go pay the old woman visits until that day when it all changed.
When the parents expected their kids to be back, they hadn't returned yet. 'So it is a longer fairy tale than
usual', they thought. 'Probably nothing to worry about'. So they waited another hour, but their kids still hadn't
returned.
Now they got worried and went over to the old woman's house, to find their children lying dead on the floor.
'What have you done to them?', they all yelled. 'You... you witch! You shall be burned! Burn the witch! Burn the
witch!' The old woman responded:
'No, it's been a mistake! I didn't kill them! I was just reading them one of my stories and suddenly they all fell
to the ground, dead! I swear to God!'
But the parents didn't care. 'That's very convenient, isn't it?', said one of the fathers.
'How dare you make use of the name of the Lord, you beast from hell?', said one of the mothers.
'I don't know what happened to them, I swear!'
'How are we expected to trust you? You shall be burned, evil woman!'
'NOOOOOOO!', the woman shouted and ran to the woods in fear of being burned.
That is why she is most known as 'The Scared Witch'. But her real name was in fact Koume. The villagers didn't
follow her, because they knew she'd get lost in the woods anyway. They *WERE* the Lost Woods after all..."
"Well, now we know THAT", says Zelda.
"I'm scared", says Mario. "What if we go into the woods and that witch starts hunting us?"
"Yeah, I'm scared too!" says Link.
"Shut up! We're going into that forest whether you want it or not, you hear me? We're gonna find that witch
and catch it on camera! Imagine all the rupees they'd pay us!"
"Alright... but only for the rupees", says Link.
"I don't know", says Mario. "They don't use rupees in my world."
"Then what do you use", asks Zelda.
"Uh... coins."
"Coins? Just coins? Don't you have any name for them?"
"No, they're just... coins."
"Sure. You'll get your...coins...too."
Link and Zelda try not to laugh, but Mario is too smart to be fooled.
"At least we don't let any Triforce fall in the wrong hands..."
Then they all shut up.
CHAPTER 1 - Finding Forest
The camera turns on and we see Zelda adjusting the camera to get her in view. She is at a table in a library and
picks a book out of the bookshelf and opens it.
"Hi", she begins. "In our quest to find the Scared Witch who is said to be lurking in the Lost Woods, me and two
of my pals--"
Mario and Link comes in from the right and pushes Zelda to the side and smiles to the camera.
"That would be us!" Link says.
"Yeah, and this documentary will be terrific", Mario adds.
"I know", says Zelda, "but if you'd just get out of view now and let me continue..."
"Alright. Save the best for last, eh?" Link says and smiles.
"Yeah, in your dreams" Zelda says and continues. "Anyway, this book - 'Witches Now and Before' - will
hopefully help us on our way. So I'll just look in the index... 'S' 'Streisand, Barbra'... no, not the witch we're
looking for... 'Scared Witch, The'. Ahh, there we got it! Page 612."
So she browses to page 612, where the three of them reads the following:
"SCARED WITCH, THE
In the 18th Century, a woman lived in a small village called Hair. She used to bring children to her house to
read fairy tales for them. They were all very nice fairy tales about romance and friendship because she got too
scared when there were fighting and violence involved. The parents of the children thought she was very nice
to their kids and loved to let them go pay the old woman visits until that day when it all changed.
When the parents expected their kids to be back, they hadn't returned yet. 'So it is a longer fairy tale than
usual', they thought. 'Probably nothing to worry about'. So they waited another hour, but their kids still hadn't
returned.
Now they got worried and went over to the old woman's house, to find their children lying dead on the floor.
'What have you done to them?', they all yelled. 'You... you witch! You shall be burned! Burn the witch! Burn the
witch!' The old woman responded:
'No, it's been a mistake! I didn't kill them! I was just reading them one of my stories and suddenly they all fell
to the ground, dead! I swear to God!'
But the parents didn't care. 'That's very convenient, isn't it?', said one of the fathers.
'How dare you make use of the name of the Lord, you beast from hell?', said one of the mothers.
'I don't know what happened to them, I swear!'
'How are we expected to trust you? You shall be burned, evil woman!'
'NOOOOOOO!', the woman shouted and ran to the woods in fear of being burned.
That is why she is most known as 'The Scared Witch'. But her real name was in fact Koume. The villagers didn't
follow her, because they knew she'd get lost in the woods anyway. They *WERE* the Lost Woods after all..."
"Well, now we know THAT", says Zelda.
"I'm scared", says Mario. "What if we go into the woods and that witch starts hunting us?"
"Yeah, I'm scared too!" says Link.
"Shut up! We're going into that forest whether you want it or not, you hear me? We're gonna find that witch
and catch it on camera! Imagine all the rupees they'd pay us!"
"Alright... but only for the rupees", says Link.
"I don't know", says Mario. "They don't use rupees in my world."
"Then what do you use", asks Zelda.
"Uh... coins."
"Coins? Just coins? Don't you have any name for them?"
"No, they're just... coins."
"Sure. You'll get your...coins...too."
Link and Zelda try not to laugh, but Mario is too smart to be fooled.
"At least we don't let any Triforce fall in the wrong hands..."
Then they all shut up.