CHAPTER 3 - Dude, where's my witch?
"Turn the camera on, so we can begin shooting our documentary", Zelda says and Mario grabs the cam
recorder out of his backpack.
"Now that the camera is on, we need to do a little improvised talk, like in those Tarantino movies", says Link.
"Okay. I'll start", says Zelda. "Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France?"
"No, I never been to France. What do they call it?"
"A Grand Royale with Cheese! Your turn, Link."
"Do you know what they call their money in Mario's world?"
"SHUT UP, LINK!" Mario yells and leaps at Link.
"Stop! Stop! Stop fighting! We're in this together, remember? Let's not fight!"
"You're right", Mario says. "Now it's my turn. Do you know what they call a brain in Hyrule?"
"No, what do we call it", asks Zelda while Link tries not to pull out his Master Sword and cut Mario's head off.
"A rarity!" Mario says.
"Alright, I'm gonna git you sucka!" says Link and pulls his Master Sword out and is just about to end Mario's life
when they hear someone scream in fear. It sounds like a very, very old woman.
"It must be the Scared Witch! You scared her!" says Zelda. "Now we lost what might have been our only
chance to catch her on tape thanks to you."
"Hey, don't blame me, he's the one with the lame joke", Link says.
"And he's the one who got upset about it", Mario replies.
"Hey, don't you start again", Zelda says. "It's getting dark and we need to go to sleep. We're in enough trouble
already. Let's set up our tents here."
"Alright, you win", says Mario.
They set up their tents and goes to bed. At night, they hear some weird noises.
"I have to go out and explore", Link says.
"Why? You might get killed", says Zelda.
"Yeah, but this IS a movie. If you hear a strange noise, you HAVE to check where it came from."
"Alright. But what will I do if you die? What will I do without you? What can I do?"
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
Link opens the tent and looks out through the opening.
"What do you see", asks Mario.
"I see dead people", replies Link.
"Yeah, right. In your dreams."
"No. All the time."
"That didn't fit."
"Uh... could we just move on to the next line? Please? This is getting embarrassing. Please? Thank you. No?
Oh. Sorry. I won't bother you anymore. Hello?"
"Shut up and get out to see what's going on!"
Link goes out from the tent to see a witch picking up an object from the ground. The witch turns around to look
at Link. Link thinks that this will be it, that he will die right at the spot. But as soon as the witch sees Link, her
eyes turn wide open and she runs away quicker than the wind. Link looks at the ground to see what object she
took.
"Oh no! She took my Lens of Truth! How will I now be able to cheat while we're playing poker?"
"What was that, Link", Mario asks.
"Uh... nothing."
We leave the three partners for now and turn over to the Scared Witch. When she saw the strange looking
youngster coming out from the tent, she would've screamed if she'd have any tongue. She escaped through the
woods and got to a place where she hadn't been before. As if it wasn't enough, she also caught a terrible cold.
"I'm so scared right now...", she begins. "Those three kids scare the living - if you can call anything in me alive -
crap out of me and I'm all alone in the woods in a place I never been to before! Help me someone! Isn't witch
hunts illegal?"
"Turn the camera on, so we can begin shooting our documentary", Zelda says and Mario grabs the cam
recorder out of his backpack.
"Now that the camera is on, we need to do a little improvised talk, like in those Tarantino movies", says Link.
"Okay. I'll start", says Zelda. "Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France?"
"No, I never been to France. What do they call it?"
"A Grand Royale with Cheese! Your turn, Link."
"Do you know what they call their money in Mario's world?"
"SHUT UP, LINK!" Mario yells and leaps at Link.
"Stop! Stop! Stop fighting! We're in this together, remember? Let's not fight!"
"You're right", Mario says. "Now it's my turn. Do you know what they call a brain in Hyrule?"
"No, what do we call it", asks Zelda while Link tries not to pull out his Master Sword and cut Mario's head off.
"A rarity!" Mario says.
"Alright, I'm gonna git you sucka!" says Link and pulls his Master Sword out and is just about to end Mario's life
when they hear someone scream in fear. It sounds like a very, very old woman.
"It must be the Scared Witch! You scared her!" says Zelda. "Now we lost what might have been our only
chance to catch her on tape thanks to you."
"Hey, don't blame me, he's the one with the lame joke", Link says.
"And he's the one who got upset about it", Mario replies.
"Hey, don't you start again", Zelda says. "It's getting dark and we need to go to sleep. We're in enough trouble
already. Let's set up our tents here."
"Alright, you win", says Mario.
They set up their tents and goes to bed. At night, they hear some weird noises.
"I have to go out and explore", Link says.
"Why? You might get killed", says Zelda.
"Yeah, but this IS a movie. If you hear a strange noise, you HAVE to check where it came from."
"Alright. But what will I do if you die? What will I do without you? What can I do?"
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
Link opens the tent and looks out through the opening.
"What do you see", asks Mario.
"I see dead people", replies Link.
"Yeah, right. In your dreams."
"No. All the time."
"That didn't fit."
"Uh... could we just move on to the next line? Please? This is getting embarrassing. Please? Thank you. No?
Oh. Sorry. I won't bother you anymore. Hello?"
"Shut up and get out to see what's going on!"
Link goes out from the tent to see a witch picking up an object from the ground. The witch turns around to look
at Link. Link thinks that this will be it, that he will die right at the spot. But as soon as the witch sees Link, her
eyes turn wide open and she runs away quicker than the wind. Link looks at the ground to see what object she
took.
"Oh no! She took my Lens of Truth! How will I now be able to cheat while we're playing poker?"
"What was that, Link", Mario asks.
"Uh... nothing."
We leave the three partners for now and turn over to the Scared Witch. When she saw the strange looking
youngster coming out from the tent, she would've screamed if she'd have any tongue. She escaped through the
woods and got to a place where she hadn't been before. As if it wasn't enough, she also caught a terrible cold.
"I'm so scared right now...", she begins. "Those three kids scare the living - if you can call anything in me alive -
crap out of me and I'm all alone in the woods in a place I never been to before! Help me someone! Isn't witch
hunts illegal?"