*Garnet sits in the throne room munching on potato salad

*Garnet sits in the throne room munching on potato salad. She looks around and wonders if there should be more to all of this.*

Garnet: Gaddamit, I have all the power and all the money, and yet I'm sitting here eating potato salad and watching Jerry Springer. I need to DO something with my life! What would my father say if he saw me like this?

*Zidane looks up from scrubbing the floors. He stands up and wipes his hands on his pink apron*

Zidane: Huh? Did you say something, honey?

Garnet: SAY something! Wait, did I say that, or just think it? What have I already said? They know too much...

Zidane: What are you talking about? ''They''? I'm the only one here. Everyone else left the kingdom. Remember that royal decree demanding that everyone surrender all of their belongings and property to the State and work in ''social workshops'' or ''collectives''?

*Garnet starts chuckling and chokes on her potato salad, then spits some of it all over the floor*

Garnet: (with her mouth full) Ha ha! That wath funny! You know who gabe me THAT idea? Thome thtupid guy named Karl and hith friend! What efer habbened to thothe two? They were funny guyth...

Zidane: You had them executed.

Garnet: (reminiscing) Oh yeeaaaah... Remember the time that we all went to Treno and tried to get the nobles to smoke pot with us? That was pretty cool...

Zidane: No it wasn't. They all knew that you were the queen and they did it willingly.

Garnet: Oh, speaking of which, I have some stuff I need you to sell for me.

Zidane: MORE? Jesus Christ, I'm not your F****ing drug-dealer! Where do you GET all of that stuff.

Garnet: It is grown specially in the Evil Forest. *Rummages around in her fat rolls and pulls out a bag filled with purple leaves* I only choose the best for my people...

Zidane: Isn't it supposed to be GREEN or something?

Garnet: It IS green, no wait, I can't see it. Will you tell me if it's green?

Zidane: I already told you it wasn't... NO! DON'T EAT IT!!!

Garnet: (With her mouth filled with purple leaves) MMMMMMmmm... thith ith goooode. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! STOP POKING ME WITH THAT DAGGER!

Zidane: I'm not doing anything! I'm way over here!

Garnet: Ouch! I told you to stop! AAAAAAAAAAAH the bats! Didn't I tell you to get rid of those vermin?! OUCH!

Zidane: THERE ARE NO BATS! Garnet! Calm down! Oh great. What do I do? What do I do?

Garnet: I feel like you're proking me! *flails arms around* Help me Steiner! Beatrix! Knights of Pluto! AAAAAAAhhhhaa haaaa haaaaaa...

*Garnet falls out of her throne and lies on the floor drooling. Zidane quietly walks out of the room and gets a sword. He walks back into the room and finds Garnet half-dead on the floor making gurgling noises. He plunges the sword into her heart with no remorse, then walks back out of the room. He steps out into the empty castle for a second thinking. He walks back into the room where the dead queen is lying and picks up the purple leaves on the floor.*

Zidane: Hmmm, this is pretty good stuff, it should fetch a pretty good price in Treno.

*exits*