*grin* You are about to start probably the longest fic I have ever written. Are you up to it? ^_^
I've decided to put some information at the top, to clarify some points that will come up within the fic.
Simulation: Similar to what Heero and Duo (not sure if any of the other pilots did this) tested when they were under OZ's control. Just a room where you are "transported" into feeling like you are on the battle field.
Battle Ground: Similar to what Trowa tested in when he was trying out to pilot the Vayeate.
Heero's extent of knowledge: He knows who Zechs' is, just not what he looks like.
Zechs' extent of knowledge: He knows who Heero is, just not what he looks like.
Takes place in the gundam world but separates from the plot line. Heero's self detonation has not happened, but Zechs and Heero have battled once. Lets just say after the first episode the fic separates from the timeline ^_^ That's about it! Still ready to read my latest Sap monster?
Heero:
"So this is the assigned high school?" Duo asked.
"Yes. It's not a high school. Boarding school," I replied.
"What's my alias this time?" Duo sighed. This is all routine for us.
"David Maxfield. And mine is Hiroki Yamato."
"Okay Heero!" Duo said bouncily.
"Hiroki," I snapped. I hate snapping at Duo but it could mean the difference between our life and death. "We are here to determine OZ control over this school and the surrounding area. One slip..."
"Sure thing," Duo agreed, and we entered the school.
***
"These will be your classes. You are both in very advanced classes for freshmen, are you sure both of you are going to be able to handle it?" The dean asked eyeing us over carefully.
"Yes. Where is our dorm." I spoke briefly.
"You're both in Dorm E with the seniors since many of your classes are with them. The room is number 419."
"Thank you." I said and we took our leave.
Zechs:
I watch as two seniors walk into the dorm room. But they don't look like seniors many of my fellow students stand, preparing to confront these new boys. Boys. I laugh at myself and stand, joining the others. After all I am an important social figure being one of the top OZ officials. Many of my friends are really my underlings.
The school was my idea. We were ordered to take over the alliance base and in order to organize our forces we applied to this school. Eventually OZ, being superior, won over. But we maintained our alias here. It is much more convenient and exciting that staying in a room all day waiting for orders. Perhaps this is even for my own purposes. Either way these two boys are in the wrong dorm. Any one of my men can easily overpower them.
"You two must be in the wrong dorm," I say cockily.
"Isn't this dorm E?" The boy with long hair asks.
"Yeah," Harris, one of the soldiers under my command, said. "But it's for men only."
"And you don't look like men," Frank said.
Then he looked up. Piercing prussian blue eyes glare stonily, like two lasers burning holes into Frank. Frank staggered back. I stare in amazement at the intensity in those eyes, far beyond his years, whatever they are. Perhaps a confrontation would not be wise. I narrowed my own light blue eyes, searching over the two boys.
"Are you looking for a fight?" The boy asks unemotionally. As if as if he could win.
"He- Hiroki, lets just get to our room. You know what you always say to me about drawing attention ne?" The other said bouncing off already, placing his had on Hiroki's shoulder to guide him along.
"Aa," Hiroki agreed leaving with the other.
Our room, the boy had said, our room. And for some reason it bothers me.
Heero:
What an unusual confrontation. Perhaps they are the soldiers we are to kill. If so destroying this building is easy enough.
They are very cocky, however. Is it that they simply under estimate us or are they fresh from battle?
Too many questions. My mind replays the scene. Those men are too relaxed to be soldiers aren't they? Too over confidant Except one. One was wary. The one with straw blond hair. He was confident at first but quickly recognized underlying danger. But he was one of many. My cold calculating mind could puzzle over it longer.
But it has other things to calculate.
Like the assignments given by Dr. J
Like my hidden reaction to Duo's innocent gesture of nothing more than a hand upon a shoulder.
But it can mean the world.
Focus! I am losing myself.
Zechs:
My men are restless. It appears our opposition, the run away gundam pilots have disappeared.
I'm still preoccupied.
The two from last night are in my class. Again. Some how the two have managed to get access to senior classes and are in 3 out of eight of my classes. Including Mobile Suit Training.
It turns out the boisterous boy is named David Maxfield. He's become an instant hit among the girls.
So has Hiroki. Hiroki Yamato. But he's more withdrawn. Mysterious. The girls' eyes follow him as well, but his only follow David. And when they do set upon another they seem to stare deep inside.
"Zachary!"
What? I turned. "Yes Ms. Hardinger?"
"I'd like you to demonstrate this battle technique since obviously you aren't paying attention."
"Of course," I agree. It bothers Ms. Hardinger that I am the top student yet I often preoccupy my mind with alternate subjects during her lectures.
"Class, I want you to watch this carefully. What Zachary is doing is taking part in a simulation in which objects will be coming in from all sides."
I climbed into the pilot seat and turned on the program. Immediately other simulated mobile suits zoom at me. The screen is filled with them. Target. Shoot. Dodge. Blast.
This would have been routine. Boring. I believe this particular simulation is number 174. I've been through all 200 several times over. I know the end result; I will not possibly keep up with all the simulated suits and eventually be blown up. No, I am energized for a particular reason. The two new boys.
The familiar voice of competition rages. I want to wipe that smirk off those boys' faces. Especially Hiroki. His silent face is so assured. I want to prove my superiority. I am going to be the victor.
Then, I blew up.
I step out of the simulation room into the class. A look of amazement adorns Ms. Hardinger's face. Most of the soldiers smile in admiration. Those in the class who aren't part of my unit act like the impossible had just happened.
All except Hiroki and David.
Heero:
He must be one of OZ's. He is much more advanced than the average person, let alone soldier. I smile. Found one.
"That was superb. Almost counter to the teamwork technique I am trying to teach." The teacher said.
"Hiroki could do better than that." Duo exclaimed.
"David, I do hope you understand that the score that Zachary just received is the highest ever for that particular simulation. He managed to destroy 35 of the 40 mobile suits."
I glance at Duo. What does he think he is doing? Drawing attention is not one of the requirements to the mission.
Duo caught me looking. "Hey we gotta participate in the class sometime!"
"All right we do have to determine your ability some time so lets put you in Hiroki. Punch in number 005." She said directing me.
"Wait." The straw blond boy interrupted. He smiled at me, not a kind one but a superior one. "He didn't get into this class by being able to complete simulation 5. Lets see if what David says is true. I request that we allow Hiroki to do number 174."
A challenge? I could easily live up to that. And take out all forty mobile suits. Simple enough.
"That that's the one you just did" The teacher protested.
"I will accept this challenge." I interrupt. "It is true. I did not get into this class through simulated battles."
I walk into the chamber, attached the proper devices and prepare for the onslaught. I know exactly what is going to happen.
Zechs:
He is so confident! It is truly annoying. Almost like I used to be
He rose to the challenge. He could very well be a potential OZ soldier. First I should determine where he stands on the issue of course, naturally with OZ where else could he stand?
Why is it that I care that he is so confident? Must be for my reputation. That boy is challenging my position as top student in this class.
The simulation starts. He is good very good David is relaxed; he isn't worried about if his claim that Hiroki can complete this simulation is true.
But Hiroki is doing well. Too well. Too good to have never done this sort of thing before. What did he say before? I did not get into this class through simulated battles.' There's more to this boy than I thought. A sudden hunger to uncover the mysteries struck me. What is it about Hiroki?
"Impossible." Frank whispered.
Hiroki just managed to wipe out 30 of the mobile dolls. I glanced at the suit meter. Smiling in satisfaction I wait for the next couple blows to finish Hiroki off. He can't take on all 10 of them with the condition his suit is in.
"Oh" The murmur spread through out the class.
Hiroki pressed the self-destruct button. And destroyed all 10 mobile dolls. A 40/40. He took out all of the dolls. Better than I. Better than any one ever. The screen flashed New High Score'.
"Your simulation doesn't take into account the lost life of the soldier. I suggest you change that." Hiroki detached the devices and left the simulation room.
And then he walked over to David.
And then I knew, I hate David.
And I knew true jealousy.
"Why didn't you do better? You could have at least taken out the 35 that Zachary did!" David asked.
I looked away but kept an ear on the conversation.
"They would suspect."
"Hiroki that was spectacular. But we have gone over the usage of the self-destruct button. Which is we don't press it." Ms. Hardinger said. "Excuse me, David, but considering you are with Hiroki I doubt your skill is average I will test your level in private. We will decide on a date later."
"I was taught that you do anything to complete a mission. Even self-sacrifice. Never get captured." Hiroki replied.
"Interesting. And you would sacrifice yourself for the sake of the mission?"
"Yes"
"You are very dedicated." Ms. Hardinger turned back to the class. "Well now that two students have contradicted today's lesson, we will be going over team work and why you need to be able to trust each other to take out the enemy. When you are surrounded a well trained team of two can take out up to 100 mobile suits."
I stopped listening, and looked at Hiroki. He fascinates me.
Heero:
What ease this class will be. Duo and I will ace it easily enough. So will Zachary. For some reason my thoughts keep drifting to him.
And my eyes. Why? His stunning eyes look at me as well. He smiles but I only look back with no response. He is trying to become friendly now? Now that I have stood up to his challenge he wants to be friendly? Not that I would greatly mind... But he is an OZ soldier. A target.
"Hiroki and Zachary! Since you two are OBVIOUSLY not listening to me you are automatically paired together for this project."
I snapped back to class. Duo is laughing at my expense while Zachary chuckles. Surrounding students frown in disappointment, probably due to the fact they cannot pair with Zachary, but still pick partners.
"Once you've got your partner get together and start the assignment."
Zachary stood making his way over to me. "It appears we got singled out."
"Indeed." I agreed, glancing at Duo. To my surprise Duo had partnered with one of the most annoying girls in the class. Hilde.
"Once we find out what the assignment is I am sure we can complete it."
"Of course."
"You must be a man of little words."
"Perhaps." I looked up at Zachary. A slight twinkle sparkled in his eyes, one of the friendship rather than the challenging one of less than an hour ago. "So what is the project on?"
"We have to come up with battle techniques as a team and are going to have them tested out in the training grounds." A student replied.
"Hn." I grunted. This would probably not be hard, especially working with a trained OZ soldier.
"All right." Zachary muttered. "Why don't we just begin with basic battle techniques."
"Shouldn't we be past that? Or do you need a review?" I countered, seeking some form of competition. Or just provoking him would be fun. I received both.
The sparkle of friendly competition arose as a flame will light and burn. "Well why don't we see just who needs a review." Zachary proposed. "Ms. Hardinger? Hiroki and I wish to battle each other in the simulators if you will allow."
"Sure." Came the consent.
"Tauruses? Are you comfortable with those?" Zachary queried.
"Perfect," I replied. "Space mode."
"Don't expect me to go so easy on you." His lips quirked in mock.
"Don't expect to win," I said stonily, but with underlying tones. What is making me be so jaunty with this OZ soldier? I enter the chamber.
"Oh by the way, no self-destructing."
"Agreed."
And the simulations began.
Zechs:
It should have bothered me, the fact that I am forced to work with a freshman.
Should have.
But didn't.
Hiroki actually appears to rival me. Surprise, surprise.
Our communication is cut but I can still see him and he see me through the small video in the upper right corner of the screen. And the look on his face is of intense concentration. Similar to that of a trained soldier.
We immediately enter a lone scenario, space all around and two Tauruses conveniently placed there.
He moves first, aiming the gun.
I easily dodge the blasts strategically approaching him. Perhaps I over estimated Hiroki. This is just too easy. In a sense I am relieved. Hiroki doesn't challenge my claim to top student. On the other side my disappointment grows. I admit- I wanted the challenge. And maybe more.
Close enough. I glance at Hiroki's face. It's not worried. Oh well I'll finish him off. My simulated arm reaches to grab the beam saber where it is hidden.
*Zing* Damn it! My eyes widen. Hiroki smiles smugly. I fell for his trap! Because I got so close Hiroki managed to cut part of my Taurus' arm with his own beam saber.
Yet I feel no rage. Chuckling, it is the friendly challenge. Hiroki is good. Very good. This will be fun.
We continue our sparring, neither of us gaining a major upper hand. Until the end.
Pieces of conversation made their way into the simulation room, Hiroki's as well- he became distracted.
For some reason, one I cannot quite figure out, he is being distracted. He fails to respond quickly, even when I get so close it would be simple to reenact his earlier tactic.
"Hilde, I told you to stop!" A playful voice shouted.
"Really? Are you sure you want me to?" Hilde taunted.
Giggling consumed the room and scraping chairs moved about.
"Since this project is going no where, would you like to move it to my dorm room?"
"Sure." Hilde giggled. "Maybe there you can prove to me your battle tactics because from what I've seen so far they don't impress."
The loud noise disappeared with the exit of Hilde and the boy. I turned my full attention back to the simulated battle.
By now, since Hiroki had been distracted to a rather full extent, Hiroki's Taurus is badly beaten. I had struck off one arm and the other hand, rendering it impossible to shoot or use a beam saber. The legs were malfunctioning due to some of my interference there as well. And the whole time Hiroki hardly made a move.
Something has changed from the beginning of this battle. Hiroki is bothered by something besides this.
I turned on the intercom.
"Enough. I forfeit." I declare.
Heero:
"Forfeit?" I repeated as if testing the worn on my tongue. "Why? You've obviously won."
But Zachary has already disconnected.
I stayed on. I lay my head on the panel, asking it questions that it could not answer. Duo and Hilde Hilde and Duo so natural a sound put together. Nothing like Heero and Duo, the one I prefer. It just rolls around my mind with the similar effect of a Tsunami, total wipe out.
What had the two been doing? But I dare not ask nor go to my dorm room. I'm afraid. Afraid to find out.
If Duo can affect me like this here, in a simulated battle what will become of me when I am in real battle? Will I pause as well? Dr. J would be disappointed in me if he knew if he knew I have fallen for another, fallen so hard Oh god What has happened to me? Duo Duo if only you knew
"Hiroki?" Zachary called. "Let's go class is over."
I slowly disconnect the sensors.
The door to the chamber slowly opens revealing Zachary's worried face. Such truthfulness adorns it, I feel warm, almost as if Zachary is promising consolation. No, he is an OZ soldier. I shake my head to myself. What am I thinking? That I submit to the feelings of care and love? Never I have lived with them these many years yearning for Duo. I would never do that with Zachary, even if Duo creates the hole in my heart I had never dreamed of. Never have weakness, never show weakness, that is what Dr. J said. Your heart means nothing in the end. It will only be broken again and again. And then Dr. J had shown me that it was not necessary to have a heart. His is mechanical like much of his body.
"Lets go." I agree. "No need to stay here."
"Are you alright?" Zachary inquired.
"Perfect." I say. Zachary doesn't accept this, knowing something he can not tell. But I have something of my own to clear. "Why did you forfeit?" I demanded.
"I felt it was unfair to continue."
"Why."
"You were obviously distracted."
I'm so obvious? I suppose not moving at all could be called so. Still. "That was my own weakness. You will not be able to do that on the battlefield. Real battles are different."
"Yes I agree, the real battle is different."
He is mocking me. While we walk towards E dorm in silence, I contemplate the matter. Duo always mocks me And is it for that I do love him? Do I love him? I must. Every time I am with Duo I am self-conscious. Every time he talks to me I savior the sweet movement of time. He does not realize my affections. Even I do not know their full extent. But I can feel my chances with Duo slipping away. Or is it my own feelings for him?
Perhaps it is because I am used to this. This rejection not rejection. Just Duo's utter ignorance of my well-hidden secrets he doesn't even suspect. And this is why I did not react as violently as last time. Last time
I approached him in the dim lighted room having just gone in. "Duo?" I had called. It was little more than two months ago. My pounding heart was finally nervous, never was it like this in battle. But it was ready, finally ready. To declare everlasting love.
But Duo was on the phone. Unknowing of my intent, destroying it without even encountering it. "My partner's here. Yeah I love ya too. Bye." He had said, hanging up the phone.
So I fled. No tears. No I would not cry about something like this. But a huge hole a huge emptiness of hope lost. You cannot even begin to imagine the death, the pain that comes with lost hope. Dr. J warned me about it, this sensation so named love. But it is inevitable. So I harbored the feeling still still hoping beyond true hope. It is impossible for me to admit my love for Duo now. It became impossible ever since I overheard Duo. The knowledge that it, we, us, would never become a reality hurt me, but I could not destroy the feeling. No matter what, I harbored the feeling and it wouldn't go away. And again, Duo affects me in ways I rather not make public
But for some reason I do not react as before. Is it because of experience? Or perhaps I changed?
I glance at Zachary. Our eyes lock.
"Why did you forfeit?" I ask again, bringing the topic back to life.
"As I explained, you were not fighting with full concentration." Zachary offered readily.
This doesn't make sense. Any OZ soldier would have quickly destroyed me given a chance like that.
"Where do you stand with OZ?" Zachary suddenly asks.
"Against." I gritted my teeth. "And you? For OZ?"
"Of course not."
I gasp in dismay. What had provoked me to say that? Me against OZ? I'm its near top official! But I can not take it back. Hiroki... Hiroki has already given his reaction. One I would rather not change. One of surprise and hidden pleasure.
Which almost compensates for the possible charge of treason and the ultimate consequence of death I could receive now.
So Hiroki dislikes OZ? What is he doing at a school so close to an OZ base?
"How many days do we get to complete this project?" Hiroki asked.
"5, I think," I respond, holding the door for Hiroki. We enter Dorm E.
"Zachary you're associating with the freshman!" Ashley exclaimed in surprise.
"His name is Hiroki and will be treated with the same respect given to me." I declare so all could hear. "Now they will hesitate to pick a fight with you." I say to Hiroki. Not that you would need this kind of protection
"Aa." He replied.
"Well then I'll see you around." I said heading towards me dorm room. "If you need anything I'll be in 321."
"Okay." He replied.
I turned, unlocked my door, and went in.
Heero:
I silently watched Zachary walk into his room. Should I even approach my room?
Admit it.
Admit what?
You're scared.
Of what?
Discovering Duo and Hilde.
I am not scared.
Yes. You are.
My eyes harden. I'm not scared.
Never the less it was after I spent several hours walking around campus and "exploring" until I approached me room.
By now it's 10:00. I better get some sleep. Or at least well Hilde shouldn't be there any more ne? A weak argument but nothing stronger can be expected from my deteriorated mind.
Approaching the door my apprehensions follow me. Thousands of situations and what ifs flit through my mind. Ignore them. I fit my key into the lock, only to easily turn the unlocked doorknob.
Slowly I open the door. Is Hilde still here? She shouldn't be... I wonder entering the cramped area. The lighting is dim and I hear voices in the back
I walk past the bathroom in the slim hallway and into my bedroom.
I don't know whether I should curse or praise these slim walls. I can hear everything said in Duo's bedroom right across.
They are still working on the project.
"Your friend, Hiroki, is pretty good for a freshman." Hilde remarked.
"Yeah well I'm just as good." Duo replied. I could just imagine Duo smiling uncannily with self-assurance.
I shake my head. I wont eaves drop on them. It's dishonorable against my morals I have morals? I do I must
Admit it.
What? Admit what? Hot-tempered blood rushes through my ears.
You don't want to know. You're scared. Again.
Not true not true! Duo should be able to have his privacy.
You just don't want to know what he thinks of you. Truly thinks of you.
No That's not true! I just can't stay here I'll interrupt Hilde and Duo I'll be a nuisance
You don't want to be here. That's all.
SHUT UP! I change into the oversized shirt that I slept in for most of my life. Odin Lows gave it to me. It may be worn but it is one of the few possessions of comfort that I allow. Or maybe it's one of the only things that reminds me. Before I became this. What I am now. After changing my boxers, I grab a blanket and quietly exit. Duo and Hilde never even knew I was there.
There is no one in the common room now. I should be able to sleep here all night, and wake up early enough.
Settling down, I feel thankful for the training Odin put me through. He taught my how to fall asleep in 15 minutes. Otherwise I fear I will be up all night.
Slowly I drift into the fitful sleep of a troubled man.
Zechs:
I lay around in bed unable to think of anything. But Hiroki. How does he affect me so much? My long tresses of hair sweep around the bed as I toss and turn. Perhaps it is just because of his ability. His skills as a soldier impress me. There is no doubt in that.
But how many times walking here just several hours ago, did I turn to look at him? How many times does his handsome face stare at me in my mind? The deep blue eyes and mussed rich brown hair are almost a direct contrast to my silky blond and bright blue eyes. But they seem to compliment me rather than oppose me.
I'll never fall asleep this way.
I'll just take a walk perhaps around the common room. I sweep my blankets back and leave me small dorm room.
This doesn't help any, I realize walking out. Chuckling at the irony, I approach Hiroki's sleeping figure on the couch.
Why is he here? He has a dorm room with David. I wonder what happened?
He looks immensely bothered, eyebrows knitted even though he is asleep. What did David do to him?
Then it stuck me, fierce as a lighting bolt. My eyes widen in sympathy, but also jealousy.
Hiroki is in love. With David.
But David doesn't see isn't interested He takes after Hilde Why else would David have volunteered to be partners with her?
It's just like Trieze
When I worked under him directly I had always thought we were destined to be together. Destined now I don't believe in fate.
Trieze enjoyed my company. He enjoyed the inside of me more. I was his plaything I didn't see that then. Then I was deeply in love. I say Trieze as my overlord, my lover, my god.
He controlled me. So thoroughly, it disgusts me what kind of things I've submitted to. Never again, I'd never do it again.
I finally broke away from his torturous grip. I faced reality when I met Lade Une. She was his true love, I the acting mistress. I refused to play that role and so was transferred out of Trieze's force of elite soldiers.
He said he would come back for me, I would go back to him. I would miss him so much he couldn't survive without me. So many lies I can't even remember them all. But in the end I was determined, and still am. I'm gone from his life leading my own here in the school. One day I will see him again and ignore him.
Silly dreams
Hiroki, too, is being held in the potent sways of love. I shall change all that. David will be sorry once he loses Hiroki.
It is like a challenge but more, for I realize I do have more than casual feelings for Hiroki. Perhaps he does as well. I will deter Hiroki's love from David to myself I will try. This new goal gives me more determination. Trieze will see I can get along without him and hardly think of him.
Meanwhile, I'll bring Hiroki into my room to sleep. He will get cold out here when the shut off the heat.
I picked Hiroki up, as one would handle a baby. He's so slim, light it's so easy to carry him across the room. My muscles flex with ease. The tank top shirt barely keeping me from him. His shirt is worn, well loved. The rich musk that is his scent alone does not do much to help my sudden lust.
Nor does the fact that his swinging leg hits me in all the wrong places.
I hurry to my room, contemplating my fortune. I will be up all night now. Isn't that good? Or bad? I'll just take a sleeping pill.
I scrambled into the room, laying Hiroki on my bed. Arranging his slim body on my bed almost shook my resolution at waking Hiroki. But I would never think of raping him. No matter what.
I think a cold shower is due. Along with several sleeping pills.
Heero:
Hm it's so beautifully warm I could drift in this bliss for eternity Wait what time is it?
I jolt awake, sitting up. My clock says 8:00! I've got to get going!
My clock? What? I should be in the common room Where am I? The room is similar to my own but catches the sun, which spreads a bright light around the cream room.
Then I glance at the floor. I am in Zachary's room? How did I end up here with Zachary curled up on the floor?
Inhaling, I smell Zachary's subtle cologne. It's sweet Like the brisk mornings dew with a touch of raciness.
I bend down next to Zachary. Is he okay? He appears drunk or drugged. I shake him slightly, not wishing to wake him anyway.
He's cold, I note. The tank top and silk pants fit well but don't do much to keep the heat. Nor keep my eyes on other places.
I pick Zachary up and put him on the bed, covering him with the blankets I have just discarded.
Slowly I exit the room to prepare for class.
Zechs:
I finally get up out of bed at 8:30. Hiroki is gone but I watched him leave, his waking an alarm for myself.
Lest Hiroki become alarmed, I decided to go back to sleep when he was arranging the blankets around me. Instead of waking, I snuggled into them, the warmth, as if they are Hiroki.
I get out of bed groaning with the cold. Hiroki gave me a look before he left what was it of? Puzzlement? Gratitude? Love?
It can't be love, yet. Probably more of lust if anything. Or my own imagination at that.
But do I love Hiroki? No, that too is only lust. Too early to be love right?
But when it isTrieze will be the first to know.
I smile grimly to myself.
Heero:
Class is so impossibly long! I can't concentrate on anything at all. Not that I need to, no, this class is also below my level.
Duo wasn't in the room when I went up so what had become of him? If I should not see him 8th period, the only class I've got with him, I will be alarmed.
This is a mission. Duo wouldn't do anything careless. I trust him. And hopefully he'll never find that out. During the course of one fatal day my life can change so drastically Duo is obviously out of my life so obviously gone
The realization hurts. It aches like a ton of bricks have deigned it right to fall upon my head. And unlike physical pain, I am not trained to deal with this.
Every time I see Duo's sweet, happy, full beautiful face clouding my view, Hilde's drifts along too turning it into a storming rain cloud of force.
Trying to drive me to hell.
Duo will always be with me, intimately or just as a partner I can never totally give him up, can I?
I try to imagine Duo without Hilde. The incapacity of my brain to do so finds me more and more upset.
And then it became impossible to see Duo.
Instead I see another, whose face is just as warm as Duo's, but somehow calmer more caring.
It's Zachary.
Zechs:
Class today couldn't be more boring. All I want to think about, all I can think about is Hiroki. May be I should have just skipped.
"The assignment today is to sketch something natural using the tones we have recently talked about." My teacher said.
The class tracked outside. The fall season is beautiful. The many colors make it the perfect picture.
But my sketch is to be black and white. And today life would not be stilled by such beauties as nature whence it is so preoccupied by private beauty.
Being one of the better students of the class I know my 10-minute sketch will fetch an A.
And I spent the next half-hour on Hiroki. I saw his sleeping face in my mind as bright as the morning sun. But his deep eyes and searching calculating look is one that I want to capture.
20 minutes pass and I began to expertly color Hiroki's face in. It's absolute perfection.
"That's beautiful! Whose face is it?" The teacher said, looking over my shoulder.
I gave it some finishing touches so his face looks exactly like the past day in Mobile Suit training when we stared at each other and I finally recognized true beauty.
"I made it up." I replied, not wishing to let her in on my personal life. No use hiding it, I concluded. The teacher has already seen it.
"It's beautiful. I can feel some deep feelings from this picture. But what about the assignment?"
"Here." I show her my sketch of a tree.
"Wonderful. Would you mind if I collected BOTH of these? I would really love to display this picture!"
"As long as you dont say who drew this one." I said indicating the one of Hiroki. My art teacher never failed to hang a picture up, especially one she liked.
"Deal." She said smiling kindly, and turned back to the class.
Heero:
It's lunch and I still have not seen Duo. It's been preoccupying my mind but no more than Zachary has. Oh god, it's tearing my up.
Is that the art teacher? There's only one, since the size of the school can't support another.
She is hanging up art pieces by her students. Many people go to look. Her students are truly talented.
I must get going, however. Not enough time to look for myself. Class calls. And more scouting out people for the mission.
Already I skipped a class for the mission to follow several suspects.
And to become more focused on the mission.
And to shake my preoccupation, Duo.
And to avoid making the other a preoccupation.
Zachary.
Zechs:
Where was Hiroki last period? I have class with him now too. My hunger to see him was not sated last period, no it only grew.
The teacher actually noticed Hiroki's absence. Not that he'll do anything; he hardly ever takes attendance anyway.
Here he is. My picture captured nothing! Nothing of Hiroki's subtle beauty, nothing of his eyes. And no picture ever will.
"Where were you last period?" I demanded approaching him.
"Had a problem to deal with." He answered assuming a formal air. Suggesting that I should not pry.
But I did not heed it. "What important problem? So important to miss Mr. Wood's lecture of boredom and sleep?" I jested.
"Yes, that important." A slight smile broke the formal mask.
"Well perhaps I can then offer you some notes on it so you aren't so totally unprepared for the history test Friday." I said, expecting a frantic reply.
"It's okay."
"Meaning the test or the notes or both?" I asked.
"Meaning everything."
"Really aren't we a bit cocky that we'll do well?"
"It doesn't matter."
"But isn't this your future, how well you do?"
"Not yours too?"
I smiled. He's trying to play with me the cocky boy. "Of course mine too."
"Just making sure."
My assertive position and inadequate humor doesn't get to him. And I felt an urge to look into his eyes.
I leaned down to press my forehead upon his. "Where were you then?"
"Why do you want to know?" Hiroki asked seriously.
"I just want to make sure you're safe. This school is full of OZ soldiers and someone who hates OZ could easily get picked on"
"What about you?"
"I can take care of myself."
Hiroki was about to make a sharp retort when the teacher yelled, "Zachary, Hiroki SIT DOWN!"
Heero:
The teacher lectures on and on. I keep glancing at the clock waiting for the class to end. And Zachary, who isn't entirely concentrating either.
I began to drift reliving the earlier conversation.
When Zachary leaned down on my and touched my forehead with his I could smell everything- his breath, cologne, shampoo. I could sense other things as well, such as a hint of longing, intimacy and most of all care.
It's sweet wonderfully so. It's been so long since I last felt true care.
BRRING!
The class bustles out. Zachary is in a conversation with a girl. And although he signals for me to come over, I ignore him. I feel as if Zachary will be the failing of my mission.
I check my schedule. I have 15 minutes break now. Enough to visit the dorm room and see if I can find Duo.
"Wow."
"He looks just like it!"
"Eek, it's scary!"
As I walk down the hallway, people make comments. Others take double looks at me. Still others stop and stare.
What's going on?
I stop a freshman, who is staring at me like I am a show.
"What's going on?" I demand.
"You're that guy right?"
"What guy?" I ask.
"The picture in the cafeteria, it's of you right?"
I let go of the boy and begin making my way to the cafeteria.
Is someone on to my trying to display my face to the world?
What if somebody knows who I am and trying to black mail me?
Is someone just toying with me?
Who ever it is I'm going to kill him.
A constant string of what ifs circle my mind. Whatever is the reason I must destroy the picture. Recognition will only serve to cancel my effectiveness on this mission.
I arrived at the cafeteria out of breath. Where is this picture? I ran towards the hanging portraits. Not here. Where?
I thought back. The art teacher was putting up new pictures! I push through other students.
"You- you're him!" A brown headed girl exclaimed pointing at me. And a picture of me.
Who would draw this? It's like staring into a mirror I rip it off. By now several people have crowded around.
"Who drew it?" The same mousy girl asked.
I glared at her. She is most probably a rich nosey girl who most always gets her way. "I don't know." But I intend to find out.
"When you find out ask whoever it is to draw one of me!" She yelled as I made my way towards the art department.
***
"Yes?" The art teacher asks, opening the door to her office.
"Who drew this?" I asked holding up the picture.
As is expected she took a look back and forth, a double look and a triple look. "And Zachary told me he made the face up"
"Zachary?" I repeated, surprised. Zachary drew this? Of me?
"Oh!" The teacher exclaimed. "I wasn't supposed to say"
"It's all right." I said, departing.
Zachary made this? I stared at the picture, so much like me.
It's scary. He is certainly a very good artist.
And then I felt the spreading warm feeling. Same as whenever Duo Duo was close by, only stronger. Zachary is he really for me? Me?
When did I start thinking this way? When when he told me he hated OZ. Before he was a soldier and now he is I don't know.
I can tell when someone is infatuated with another. Relena with me. I with not Duo. Not any more. Zachary.
Zechs:
Hn. Mobile suits training: No class. Assignment: Work on project.
Class is canceled today. I'll wait for Hiroki to come so we can start. The teacher promises a challenge for everyone. Hiroki and I will most likely be stuck into the hardest one the teacher can find.
I sigh in relief, however. It's the last class of the day and the week. A happy Saturday of leisure and rest is in store for me.
Eventually he comes. There's something different about him. In his body, the way he moves and his eyes. It's less guarded.
"Come, let's go to your dorm room." Hiroki says. All he has is a roll of paper in his hand. Is it our battle strategy?
***
"What is it?" I ask playfully closing the door to my room behind me. His newfound happiness and lithe movements are eyes capturing, yet I hesitate to ask what has caused such a happy change.
Oh god my picture! "Where did you get this?" I exclaimed grabbing the roll of paper Hiroki had unrolled upon my bed.
"The cafeteria."
"Hm I calmed down. Hiroki cannot know it is me. I set the picture back on the bed. "We'll have to find out who drew it."
"Zachary stop. I know. The teacher told me."
"She must be talking about another Zachary." I declared, knowing it would do no good. Hiroki isn't stupid.
He moved in closer and held the picture up. "Not tell me which Zachary is it whom I stared at long enough so he could put my face to picture?"
I stared deep into his eyes. "Some fool who didn't stare long enough."
Hiroki's eyes widen in slight surprise. He is on unfamiliar turf, it is obvious. But I stride ahead in confidence. I am his senior in the aspect of love.
"And the same fool who could stare forever and have it still not be long enough." I said. My hands moved upon their own will, but one I did not protest. My right hand cupped the side of his face as if examining the beautiful face for imperfections.
The other drew him closer. I descended upon him until all I could see were his eyes. Hiroki's eyes hold so much death and forbidden love, illicit emotions. So many things that are looked down upon where he comes from... So he hides them.
Uncertainty flickers through his eyes.
"Let it go." I whispered, shifting my mouth to his ear. "You've got too many inhibitions."
I withdrew from Hiroki's face and relocated. Directly on his lips.
And he responded.
The feel of absolute beauty under my control consumes me. I dominated and Hiroki submitted. Surprisingly he gave way quite easily, not truly understanding what is going on.
Slowly I pushed him on the bed, reluctantly breaking away for breath. "Hiroki" I whisper, gazing down at him. I'll never get enough of you. Ever.
"Zachary promise me."
"What?" I ask.
"That you won't ever expect a commitment from me."
"Never" I reply.
"Good." He smiles. Those luscious lips are content. I have never known real happiness, until now. I revel in the sensation of making another happy through simple words That I can affect Hiroki this much that I can have so much power over the emotions of this dark boy It's overwhelming.
Hiroki's hand pulls my head down again. My hair cascades around Hiroki and I, giving us a sense of privacy.
Hiroki is mine. My mind wanders to the near future and the possibilities it holds.
How ironic, I can think of the future when I am a soldier. But Hiroki wants no commitments. Which is good when I have the gundam pilots as my enemy.
Our lips mesh and saliva mingle. My body is heating up as quickly as Hiroki's. I look into his eyes, but they are closed.
Oh gods no I break away. This is exactly what Trieze did to me, luring me into a world that revolved around him. Hiroki looks up at me, breathing heavily and questioning my pause.
Oh why now? Why now must I remember the damage that Trieze afflicted to me? Am I afraid?
I am scared that I will inflict on Hiroki what Trieze did to me. Why? It feels like a mental block is put in my brain to prevent it. Clearly I am just having a reaction.
"I'm sorry." I whisper into Hiroki's ear and roll off his body.
There is no disappointment, only a questioning look that kills me A confusion, a possible rejection But if I tell him about Trieze what would Hiroki think?
The phone rang and I grabbed it.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Zachary?"
"Yes."
"His Excellency wishes to meet with you now. At the base."
Click.
"I must go." I said to Hiroki.
Go to see his Excellency.
Trieze.