Cheese Story 222 (Don't ask why I didn't do the original first)
(Parody of Toy Story 2)
Now a major motion picture from Swixar
Starring:
Ahnold Schwartzenager as Chex
Mr. Tobes as The Mozzarella Man
Jim Carey as Wheezy
Tom Hanks as Iwoody
Tim Allen as Buzz
Rich Little as Buzz Number Two
Rodney Dangerfield as Mr. Ommelate Head
Eminem as Stretchy
Rush Limbaugh as Hamm
Julia Roberts as Messie
Harpo Marx as Direct Hit
Weird Al Yankovic as Stinky Limburger
Dolly Parton as Tour Guide Barbie
Darth Vador as Emperor Ze-I-e-I-erg
Jake Lloyd as Handy
Scooby Doo as Mustard
"GRRRR! Buzz Cheeseyear, could you lend me a hand? I-Wood-if-I-couldie-but-I-can't-so-I-shantie (Iwoody for short) screeched. Buzz Cheeseyear pressed the button that proudly stated: "Buzz Cheeseyear to the rescue!" Unfortunately, this didn't help in the least, so Iwoody was stolen by 'Dr. Evilcheesy' otherwise known as the Mozzarella Man of Al's Cheese Barn! Buzz and the gang (Mr Ommelate Head, Chex, Stretchy String Cheese, Iwoody's canine frie-diddly-end, and Hamm Radio) planned to rescue Iwoody, forgetting that they were all just blocks of cheese and could barely walk. They jumped off the cutting board and out the window where hey started the LOOOONG walk! (All the way across the street)
As they approached the road, they could hear the cry of Wheezy in the middle of the street. Wheezy was an old stale piece of Cheddar cheese who had been placed in the fridge and forgotten about. Buzz was about to step in and rescue the poor cheese, but winced as a passing steamroller flattened it first.
"Oh well," he said. All right people! You can all go first and I'll just.. er.. watch out for traffic! Yeah, that's right, I'll look out for YOU guys! Heh Heh…"
"Nice try," Hamm said dryly. You get to go first for being so unselfish."
"Oh, no I couldn't impose! You go!"
"Ladies first, go ahead."
"Are you calling me a lady?"
"Only a woman could be scared of crossing the street!"
"I'm no lady!" Buzz cried and started across the street. WHIZZ! A car passed him, flattening the coke can in front of Buzz. "MOMMY!!!" he yelled, running back.
"We must cross," Chex said firmly. "I volunteer to go first."
"Oh no you don't!" Hamm said quickly. "I'm not going to be made out as a coward! I'll go first!"
"No I will!" yelled Buzz. "I'm no woman!"
"Are you all forgetting that I'm Iwoody's right hand cheese? I have to be seen as the hero willing to do anything for my friend in peril! For the sake of the plot, I must go first!" Stretchy explained.
"But what about me?" Mr. Ommelate Head complained. "I've hardly been mentioned at all! I need some character development here!"
Finally, they decided to all go at once, forgetting that cars can hit several blocks of cheese more easily than only one. Surprisingly successful, they walked into Al's Cheese barn.
Meanwhile, Dr. Evilcheesy shook his head to clear it. "I must be so excited about this deal that I'm seeing things!" He had just thought he saw a troup of cheese crossing the street. That wasn't as amazing as the fact that he saw a police car drive up and give them a ticket for jaywalking.
Meanwhile…
"Where am I?" Iwoody shouted. "Toto, I don't think I'm in Handy's room anymore!"
Just then, a cow patty in a red hat jumped up and hugged Iwoody. "IT'S YOU! ITCHYU ITCHYU ITCHYU!!"
"Er… Gesuindheit? Personal space PLEASE!" Iwoody yelled, more than a little nervous.
"The prospector! He'll wanna eat… I mean meet you!"
"AUGH!"
"Oh proooospecter!"
"Please don't let him eat me!" Iwoody begged.
"What in tarnation are you talking about?" said the girl.
In came a box.
"Er… It's a box."
"Not just any box! It's a grade-a transmogrifier! I stole it from some kid named Calv… Oops! That's Evilpants's line. I meant this is the prospector! He's lived in this box for 32 years, seven months, two weeks, three days, five hours, ten minutes, 38 seconds, and 9375 nanoseconds! You should see what it smells like in there!"
"Turn me around, Messie," came a soft voice from in the box.
The girl turned the box around.
"Ahh. The prodigital… er… prbigial… er… prodidital… He has returned!"
To be continued…