Disclaimer : No, as I stated before, I do not own Pokémon, or Fox. Don't sue me, I buy enough of your merchandise to make you slightly richer! So be kind! As for Fox, well, I'm hoping that the people in charge of that particular operation to dumb down the world are illiterate and don't know I'm bashing them.
A.N. There is some character bashing in this, mostly towards Ash, and a little towards the Cerulean sisters and Brock's behaviour is very exaggerated. And as always, responses are nice, PLEASE! *puppy dog face* So, without further review, here's…
The Quest for the Remote
Chapter 1
Under a brilliant sky of cobalt blue, Team Twerp trudged through yet another of the ridiculously numerous forests on Pokémon World (a variation of the planet Earth that exists in PokéDimension, one of the myriad dimensions of AnimeUniverse. It is inhabited by many species of creatures known as Pokémon. It is also populated by a humanoid race of beings having large eyes and strange hairdos that often don ugly clothing such as suspenders.) The forest in which the trio was, as usual, lost, had, like every other wooded area on their peculiar planet, a conveniently placed dirt path running through it that led to the next town, which, in this case, happened to be Cerulean City. Misty, who was understandably irate on having to once again deal with her vapid siblings, was nevertheless gladdened by the fact that she would be able to reclaim the Pokémon that she had, in a moment of sheer stupidity no doubt, lent to her not-even-close-to-being-half-witted sisters. Ash, on the other hand, had nothing on his mind except thoughts of Pokémon that were occasionally interrupted by his daydreams of food. Brock was reminiscing about all the ravishing Officer Jennys and exquisite Nurse Joys he had met in his still short life, his what-could-almost-be-called-eyes glazing (if such an act is possible for someone who doesn't seem to have eyes) over from the cherished memories. Their respective reveries were disturbed by the flash of white that dashed by them, holding a rectangular black object in its hands.
"What was that!" Misty inquired, still in shock.
"I hope it was food!" Ash quipped. "I'm hungry!"
"For the love of Goldeens," Misty muttered. "Why am I still with these stupid boys?" She glared at Brock, who had once again slipped into the wonderful world of identical animated women with unimaginative parents, then at Ash, who was ordering his Pikachu to chase down the potential food source. With an affirmative "Pika," the Pokémon began sniffing the air, hoping the catch the elusive snack's scent.
"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Ash guffawed. "We won't be hungry for long!"
Misty rolled her eyes. Suddenly, Pikachu started to tremble violently. "What's wrong Pika!" Ash beseeched his whimpering Pokémon.
"Pika Pi Pika Pikachu Chu Pi!"
"What did he say Ash?"
Ash scratched his head, then confidently replied "I think he said 'Pika Pi Pika Pikachu Chu Pi.'"
"I know that!" Screeched an angry Misty who had somehow managed to grow fangs. "What does it mean?"
Ash sweatdropped profusely. "Um, I don't know, maybe he's hungry…"
Before Misty could maim her thick-witted companion, the beginnings of an oft-repeated formula could be heard wafting from the trees.
"Prepare for trouble…"
"And make it double…"
Misty grunted. "It figures." She peered into the thick foliage, searching for the trio of antagonists. "Never mind the stupid motto, we all know it by heart anyway. Just carry on with your useless attempts to catch Pikachu so we can get on with our lives."
"You little brat!" Jessie's voice shrilled. "How dare you! I'll let you know that we are on an errand far more than important than capturing that little rat! We," she intoned grandly, gesturing to James and herself, "are on a mission to take down the evil Fox network!"
"And how do you plan to do that?" Misty snickered.
"By finding our lost remote, and changing the channel! That'll show them who's boss! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
"Huh?" replied Brock, whose woolgathering had been interrupted by the evil cackle.
"Seriously Brock, try to pay attention," Ash chided his friend. "I shouldn't always be the responsible one."
Upon hearing this rather unwitting remark, Misty seemed to spontaneously combust. But before she could inflict harm upon her empty-headed comrade with the flames shooting out of her head, she was once again thwarted.
"Could we please get back to our more important problem?" Inquired an almost seething Jessie. "I believe our remote is still missing! Did you see anything suspicious today?"
The trio of twerps racked their brains for a while. After a lot of hemming and hawing, they reached a conclusion. "No, we didn't see anything sus-pe-she-ous today," Ash announced, proud he had said a big word and sounded intelligent in front of Misty. "Now if you don't mind, we have food to catch! Go Pikachu!"
Ash pointed in the direction of the white blur's hasty retreat, but the still terrified Pokémon just shook his head and continued to tremble.
"What's wrong with your Pikachu?" queried Jessie as she jumped down from her leafy refuge.
"We don't know," Misty responded as she scrutinized the path in front of them. Suddenly, she let out a small cry.
"What is it?" Brock implored. Misty pointed towards the three figures that approached. "It's… it's us!" she declared, gaping at their doubles.
To Be Continued…
Will our mismatched band of heroes figure out why Pikachu is so frightened?
Will Team Twerp ever make any useful connections between the suspicious blur and the lost remote?
Who are these mysterious newcomers, and why do they look like Ash, Brock and Misty?
Will Brock and James get more lines in the next chapter?
Will Ash ever satisfy his hunger?
The questions to all this, and more, will be answered in our next exciting chapter
The Amazing Things You Can Do In Fanfics!
Or
My Name Isn't Connie!
PLEASE REVIEW!