Hello. In case any of you were wondering (and I'm sure that few of you weren't), Mr. Talmadge is my stupid technology teacher (no longer). I would call him a retard but I wouldn't like to insult those of you who are retards by saying such a thing. This will probably make little sense, but whatever.
The Sorting had just finished, and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had been introduced. His name was Professor (yeah right!) Talmadge. He had blond curly hair, with a big bald spot in back.
Harry had no idea how much torture that man would ensue upon him.
Harry came into his class the first day.
"Now," said Professor (may I say it again? Yeah right!) Talmadge, "Get in partners and I shall give you all a box of Legos."
Both Harry and Hermione became very angry at hearing this, while Ron just questioned, "What are Legos?"
Ignoring him, Hermione exploded. "What do you mean Legos?! This is a Defense Against the Dark Arts class!!"
"Yeah!" Harry chimed in, "When Voldemort comes to kill us all, how will we stop him?"
While everyone else in the class gasped upon hearing mention of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Professor (OK! Calling him 'Professor is making me sick to my stomach! From now on I'm just going to call him Talmadge!) Talmadge obliviously asked, "Who?"
"Oh my God!" Harry said to himself, "this guy is such an idiot!"
"Hey!" Talmadge (that's much better!) yelled, "You need to learn something about attitude! Your parents obviously didn't raise you right! When your flipping burgers or sitting in a cubicle, and you address your superiors that way, you're going to get fired!"
Upon hearing the term, 'flipping burgers', most of the kids in the class became confused, but Harry and Hermione, both being raised among Muggles, were deeply shocked and offended. It didn't help Harry's opinion of Talmadge when he mentioned his parents. He was about to shout something else back when Mr. Talmadge re-continued his lecture.
"I mean, what do you think is going to get you through life, magic?!"
"Uh, yeah," replied Harry and Hermione in unison at the obviously stupid question. Both were sent to the 'time-out room'.
"Can you believe that guy?!" Harmione complained to Harry and Ron while leaving the classroom.
"I know," Ron said in amazement. "He is so awesome! I love those little Lego things! I wonder if my parents can afford them so that I can play with them at home!"
Ron was obviously oblivious to the fact that Harry and Hermione loathed Talmadge, not liked him.
Well, time passed and Talmadge had become more of a jerk everyday. He would have the students play with Legos while he sat at his computer (which, they had learned, he wouldn't have taken the "teaching" job without) and looked at porn. Harry had finally had it when he threw an 'I Love Lego Party', in which they would bring food, but before every time they would take a bite, they had to say, "I Love Lego." He decided to take things into his own hands.
When Harry stepped into Talmadge's classroom the next day, he was angry.
"Mr. Talmadge!" he called out.
"Yeah Harry?" Talmadge replied.
"Eat Lego! Wingardium Leviosa!" Harry shouted pointing his wand at one of Ron's Lego pieces. He zipped it right down Talmadge's throat. He choked on it and died (yay!).
"I love Lego." Harry said before blowing on his wand, sticking it into his holster, getting onto his stallion, and riding off into the sunset.
Sorry if it ended in kind of westerny (is that a real word?). I know it sucked, but it was a way to blow off steam at Talmadge. But now I have Mr. Pizzo, and life is again worth living.
The Sorting had just finished, and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had been introduced. His name was Professor (yeah right!) Talmadge. He had blond curly hair, with a big bald spot in back.
Harry had no idea how much torture that man would ensue upon him.
Harry came into his class the first day.
"Now," said Professor (may I say it again? Yeah right!) Talmadge, "Get in partners and I shall give you all a box of Legos."
Both Harry and Hermione became very angry at hearing this, while Ron just questioned, "What are Legos?"
Ignoring him, Hermione exploded. "What do you mean Legos?! This is a Defense Against the Dark Arts class!!"
"Yeah!" Harry chimed in, "When Voldemort comes to kill us all, how will we stop him?"
While everyone else in the class gasped upon hearing mention of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Professor (OK! Calling him 'Professor is making me sick to my stomach! From now on I'm just going to call him Talmadge!) Talmadge obliviously asked, "Who?"
"Oh my God!" Harry said to himself, "this guy is such an idiot!"
"Hey!" Talmadge (that's much better!) yelled, "You need to learn something about attitude! Your parents obviously didn't raise you right! When your flipping burgers or sitting in a cubicle, and you address your superiors that way, you're going to get fired!"
Upon hearing the term, 'flipping burgers', most of the kids in the class became confused, but Harry and Hermione, both being raised among Muggles, were deeply shocked and offended. It didn't help Harry's opinion of Talmadge when he mentioned his parents. He was about to shout something else back when Mr. Talmadge re-continued his lecture.
"I mean, what do you think is going to get you through life, magic?!"
"Uh, yeah," replied Harry and Hermione in unison at the obviously stupid question. Both were sent to the 'time-out room'.
"Can you believe that guy?!" Harmione complained to Harry and Ron while leaving the classroom.
"I know," Ron said in amazement. "He is so awesome! I love those little Lego things! I wonder if my parents can afford them so that I can play with them at home!"
Ron was obviously oblivious to the fact that Harry and Hermione loathed Talmadge, not liked him.
Well, time passed and Talmadge had become more of a jerk everyday. He would have the students play with Legos while he sat at his computer (which, they had learned, he wouldn't have taken the "teaching" job without) and looked at porn. Harry had finally had it when he threw an 'I Love Lego Party', in which they would bring food, but before every time they would take a bite, they had to say, "I Love Lego." He decided to take things into his own hands.
When Harry stepped into Talmadge's classroom the next day, he was angry.
"Mr. Talmadge!" he called out.
"Yeah Harry?" Talmadge replied.
"Eat Lego! Wingardium Leviosa!" Harry shouted pointing his wand at one of Ron's Lego pieces. He zipped it right down Talmadge's throat. He choked on it and died (yay!).
"I love Lego." Harry said before blowing on his wand, sticking it into his holster, getting onto his stallion, and riding off into the sunset.
Sorry if it ended in kind of westerny (is that a real word?). I know it sucked, but it was a way to blow off steam at Talmadge. But now I have Mr. Pizzo, and life is again worth living.