Hi! Tael's back in town! This little ditty was supposed to be

funny, but I think I might've done a bad, bad job at it, and I

apologize ahead of time. I don't own the Labyrinth, or anything

in it, blah blah. I DO own Balthezar and her mere, and Mech,

actually Mechlemel, and Amanda the slut but go ahead and use 'em. Read on, gentle

reader. Peace, Ho! Tael speaks!







Jareth was having a very bad month. After Sarah had

left, the labyrinth had lost it's wonder. He didn't know where the

wonder had gone, but her figured it was hiding somewhere in

the Dream King's realms. Now, Wonder isn't cheap, and Goblin

kicking isn't exactly a thriving industry, so He just couldn't

afford it right now. He sighed and leaned his head up against the

stone wall, rubbing his temples to clear his head.

A small green was using the Goblin King's throne as a

podium. He was doing something no other goblin had done

before. Thinking for himself.

Mech, as was his name, raised his hands for silence. "I'm

Mech! Labyrinth is in ruins. King not takes care of it after Sarah

left. Why we serve Jareth?" His question was answered with

silence. Goblins need a little computation time.

"Fear??" One goblin called out doubtingly.

Mech smiled, "Good job. But is Jareth scary now? Sure
he wears tights and plays with riding whips, but is he really
really frightening?" Mech again waited for an answer.
"No!" Came the unanimous reply. Jareth raised his head
from the wall. The Goblins were up to something…
"Jareth lost his scariness! Now he's been beat. He's not
scary, but Sarah is!! We should serve scary Sarah, no? Don't we
deserve the scariest? Join me, on the other side!!!" and with
that, Mech used his limited goblin magic to blink into the Human
world, going to serve Scary Sarah. The goblins were in utter
confusion. They wanted to serve Sarah, but had pledged
themselves to Jareth. Luckily, Jareth came in and solved it for
them.
"Freeze!" He shouted above the ruckus. He had just
caught the end of Mech's moving speech, yet he was less than
impressed. "Everyone go back to your tasks! Or else you can
deal with me!!" He bent down so he was eye level with the
majority of the goblins. The cruel look in his eyes dared them to
threaten his judgment. They scattered out of the room, not
wanting to feel the wrath of his ire.
King Jareth ribbed his forehead fitfully as he paced the
throne room. A goblin mutiny? It was unheard of! His fore
goblins would look on him in utter dismay, and maybe even
change him back into the nasty Goblin he once was. Then he
would never fill out his tights! If he didn't get his subjects in line,
and soon, he was facing some pretty nasty changes, like losing
his kingship and his figure!
The only silver lining here was that Sarah was now stuck
with one of his goblins. He pulled out a crystal, and twirled it
into his palm.
Sarah awoke to something jumping on her midsection.
"AHHH!!!!!" She screamed.
"AHHH!!!!" It screamed.
Sarah kicked Mech of her bed, grabbing for a unicorn
statuette to throw at him. "What the hell are you?" she hissed,
keeping her voice low, so as not to wake her family.
Mech cowered, she was frightening. "I'm a
Goblin…..whhushhh!" He didn't even finish the word before he
dived aside to save himself from being unicorn food. "I'm your
humble servant!"
"Yeah, right. Why Did Jareth send you. I whooped his
arse like Brian Boytano! He has no right to harass me by
sending me freaks like you!" She said, calming down.
"Lady Sarah, he didn't send me. I came, of my own free
will. I wish to serve you, Sarah the scariest." Mech said, bowing
low. Sarah wasn't sure she liked being called Scary Sarah.
"Left Jareth? You rebelled against your king? Ha ha,
two points for the Sarahmeister!" She was amused by this
interesting development in the S/J saga. Too bad this
amusement wouldn't last.



Jareth watched grinning at his crystal ball. Sarah had
accepted Mech as her humble servant, and he was totally driving
"Scary Sarah" insane. He was constantly underfoot, and Sarah
was growing slightly annoyed. The King watched as Mech flew
across the room, for the second time. So Sarah had turned into a
goblin kicker too. She'd make a great front-liner on the Goblin
Ball team, but mortals weren't allowed. The fury on her face was
readable even in the blurry crystal vision. Jareth threw back his
head and cackled, as an evil person would. The goblins stared at
him quizzically. "Well? Laugh!" He shouted. Laughter echoed
through the Labyrinth.



There was no laughter in two weeks. Over ten goblins
had already blinked out, joining Mech in his servitude to their
new queen, Scary Sarah. Only by some great miracle sent from
the Great Gods had Sarah kept her subjects from being
discovered.
Jareth wasn't having too good of a time either. His
goblins grew more and more rebellious every day. No longer
was he cold and untouchable; it seemed like everyone had
power over him now. Since when was he a leader who could be
persuaded?
After fifteen goblins had blinked over into Sarah's world,
she was fed up. It was getting harder and harder for Sarah to
convince her goblins to stay home when she had to go to lycee.
When she finally had to tie them up in the closet (Karen flipped
over the disappearance of her bondage gear), Sarah knew it was
definitely time for drastic measures.



Since her parents had left her alone for the day, again,
Sarah was alone in the house with only the Goblins. Toby was at
their aunts, and her parents were watching dog racing. She had
kicked all of the goblins out of her room, threatening to dump
them in the bog of eternal stench (they didn't know she
couldn't), so she could contact Jareth. She wasn't sure exactly
how to go about contacting Jareth, seeing as she didn't have an
inter-dimensional cell phone, or crystal, or whatever they used
now. She only knew one way to do it, and it would require all of
her acting skill.
She took a deep breath and cleared her mind, trying to
picture the goblin king there without the feeling of bitter disgust
that usually went with it. She tried to get that mullet-ishius hair
cut, that wild makeup, and everything else the reminded her of
the goblins king unusual figure. She needed to summon him.
"Goblin King, I need you, all of you!" She cried, with all
of the usual feeling she used when calling her friends. "Damn."
She grimaced when she realized the extreme strangeness that
had sounded like. All of him? She was mental swearing at
herself for that when she felt him behind her.
"All of me?" He whispered in her ear. She twirled around
and almost hit him.
"Shut up. You know I didn't mean that." She growled
through clenched teeth. Jareth nodded in mock sorrow. " Heard
you're not so scary any more, Mr. I-wear-leggings."
Jareth was surprised by her cockiness. Since when had
this little human become scarier than he? She must've gained
some scariosity since her time with him.
" Actually, no…they, they are in love with you, Sarah."
He struggled for an answer.
Now he was on Sarah's turf. None of his magic even
worked except for his crystal throwing and bird-changing and
the like.
"The goblins love me?" she asked quizzically. She knew
he was reaching. "You want them back, right?"
Jareth sighed. "Yes, I'd appreciate it." He noticed Sarah
grinned cruelly at him.
She had an idea; an idea for revenge. If the goblin king
wanted his goblins back so badly, he could earn them back.
Sarah just had to think up the right thing…
"Okay, King, say 'I'd do anything to get back my little
goblins who, every night, I have…."
Jareth interrupted her almost definitely insulting
command. "Sarah, please, remember my generosity. You don't
even like them."
"Neither do you! What generosity? You were the one who
stole my baby brother in the first place!" she shouted, ready to
join in the argument again. Jareth sat down on her bed, face in
his hands.
Through his fingers, just audible above the racket the
goblins were making downstairs. "I'll do anything to get back my
goblins that I do nothing with every night." He looked at her
through his fingers in disdain.
Jareth could tell by the absolutely cruel look in her eyes
('your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel') that she
had something in mind even worse than what she suspect he
and his goblins did. Worse even than dancing around in
spandex tights surrounded by frightening Muppets, or living
inside a poorly made cardboard model. Much, much worse.