They arrived at the diner and discovered both Will and Scout just starting their evening shift. They sat at the counter to eat, talking to the guys when they were in between tables. By the time Jake and Hamilton were ready for ice cream most of the dinner crowd was gone and the two were able to sit down and take a break. Loud laughter from outside caused all four heads to turn.
Bella was outside the gas station and Sean was playfully chasing her around the pumps. Three of the heads turned back to their conversation. Scout alone was left staring at the scene outside. A moment later, Jake noticed that Scout hadn't rejoined the conversation. She followed his gaze and realized he was staring at Bella. The look in his eyes was unmistakable - love, complete, hopeless love.
{It must be nice to have someone look at you like that. He's so obviously in love with her.}
As Jake turned back to the conversation, she caught her reflection in the mirror on the wall. Running her fingers through her super short "boy" hair, she suddenly felt very self-conscious.
{I'm really starting to hate this haircut.}
Jake stared out across the street again and watched the interaction between Bella and Sean. Feeling more self-conscious and sad with each passing moment.
{Look at her, no wonder they're all crazy about her. She's beautiful. What guy wouldn't want long, blond hair and plenty of curves? How could someone like me ever compete with that?}
Jake turned to look at Hamilton. {This would be so much easier if you weren't so incredibly gorgeous.}
Hamilton dropped the uneaten spoonful of ice cream back into his dish, mild panic setting in. Whatever was going on between him and Jake was not something he wanted Will and Scout to witness. He wanted to be out of there - now.
"Guys, I just remembered, I promised my mom I'd help her with some art supplies tonight. I gotta run. Catch ya later." Hamilton took out his wallet and left money on the counter for his meal.
{What? Wait! Why is he leaving?} "Hamilton, wait! Don't you want a ride back?" Jake asked quickly.
"No, that's ok, you stay and finish. I can walk back."
{No...don't leave now. What happened?}
Jake watched Hamilton leave and couldn't help but feel like crying. She excused herself and went to the bathroom. She hated going into the men's room but with the diner empty, it should be safe. Carefully checking to be sure she was alone, she washed her face with cold water and stared at her reflection. "Suck it up girl, you're supposed to be a boy and boys don't cry," she told the face in the mirror.
Hamilton walked home slowly, trying to decide what he was going to do about Jake. He couldn't handle this wild ride of emotions forever. Sooner or later, he was just going to have to talk to Jake - about everything. By the time he reached his front door he had decided that tomorrow after practice was as good a time as any.
Walking past his father's study, his mother suddenly stepped out and shut the door quickly behind her.
"Hi Munchie, how was dinner?" She asked as she smoothed the tail of her shirt. {You weren't supposed to be home this early, Munchie. I hope he can't tell what we were doing.}
Hamilton just shook his head and continued towards the stairs. "Fine, Mom. Goodnight, Mom."
The next afternoon, Kate enlisted Hamilton to help get new girl settled in and he ended up missing Finn's class entirely. Worried that he wouldn't get the chance to talk to Jake before practice began, he raced back from the Girl's Campus. Hamilton slowed as he neared the docks, not wanting to appear too eager. Jake was leaning against the railing waiting with the others for Finn to arrive.
Taking a space next to Jake, Hamilton leaned in slightly and whispered. "Can we talk after practice? Alone?"
{What?} "Yeah, sure. What about?" {Is this good or bad?} Jake struggled to keep her expression neutral.
"I'll explain later." Hamilton was spared further questions by Finn's arrival.
Hamilton's request had obviously unsettled Jake. Jake's thoughts were normally focused on the team's rowing during practice, but today, her practice thoughts were outnumbered by personal ones. Hamilton tried to ignore Jake's voice in his head and concentrate on rowing. But as practice went on, he found them harder to ignore and even harder to understand.
{Will is still going into the water too soon. Why does Hamilton want to talk to me alone? Scout looks like he's been doing this his entire life. What did I do wrong now? Why does Finn insist on rambling about literature while we are supposed to be concentrating on rowing? Why does he want to talk to me today of all days? I need to get to Carson before the drugstore closes. I don't want to say no to him, but if this takes too long, I'm really going to be hurtin'. Can't Brian ever get his timing right? What does he want to talk to me about?}
Hamilton searched Jake's face, hoping for some sort of explanation for the thoughts. Jake was preoccupied and didn't even notice him staring. He continued to watch Jake, but found no answers. As they rowed up next to the raft in the middle of the lake, Jake looked somewhat apprehensive.
{Please god, don't let Finn give us another swimming lesson. Not today, please!}
When everyone was out of the boat and settled on the raft, Finn began reading the new poem. Hamilton tried to figure out Jake's sudden panic over swimming. Finn had made them swim the lake before and it was obvious that Jake could swim. So why was Jake praying they wouldn't have to swim today? What was the big deal?
{Come on already, it's a poem, not a novel. Read the damn thing and let's get out of here.}
Hamilton had to smile. Finn could be very, long-winded. None of Jake's thoughts gave him a clue as to what was really wrong though. 'Maybe he's worried I know he's really gay,' Hamilton thought.
Finn finally finished the poem and Will saved them all by answering the ensuing questions about it's meaning. Climbing back into the boat, Jake breathed a sigh of relief. {Thank you! I could not handle swimming today. It's hard enough to hide this without having to jump in the water unexpectedly.}
Hamilton looked at Jake. "Hide what?" He mumbled to himself.
Jake was back to business until they neared the Rawley docks. Realizing that practice was almost over, Jake's nervousness about Hamilton returned.
{What does he want to talk about? It's got to be a big deal or he wouldn't have asked that we talk alone. As much as I want to talk to him, I really don't need this today!}
Jake and Hamilton both waited until everyone else was out of the boat before climbing out. Hamilton looked at Jake; it was now or never. They were either going to talk about everything that had been bothering him and get this out in the open or they were going to be uncomfortable around each other forever. There was no way Hamilton could tolerate the latter for very much longer. As unpleasant as it may be, they had to talk.
"Can we go to your room?"
{Oh god...} "Sure." Jake tried to smile.
They walked to the dorm in silence, with Jake wondering what he wanted to talk about and how long this might take. She unlocked the door and ushered Hamilton into the room. There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment as they both just looked at each other.
{I'd never get tired of staring at that face. Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it.}
Jake's thoughts reminded Hamilton of his purpose. Not exactly sure how to begin he spoke slowly, putting the words together carefully.
"Jake...I wanted to talk about... what's happened..."
{Happened?}
"I think you know what I mean."
{Mean? OH MY GOD! Did it start already and it shows?} Jake fought the urge to check her backside in the mirror.
"There's something unusual here and I think we should talk about it and be honest with each other." Hamilton took the tiniest of steps closer to Jake.
Jake, however, was panicking. {Unusual? Talk and be honest? Oh god, it did start...there must be a spot on the back of my pants. He figured it out! Oh god, what if someone else saw and figured it out, too? What am I going to do now? Better yet...what's HE going to do now? Shit, this will not be a short conversation. There's no way I'm going to get to Carson before the drugstore closes now. Ok, think - you can either stay and have a very important conversation with the guy you're in love with or you can blow him off, possibly risking any hope of salvaging your relationship with said guy, and go to Carson anyway.}
Hamilton stared at Jake. He heard the frantic whirl of thoughts and the "guy you're in love with" part. But that still didn't explain why Jake needed to go to Carson and why it was so important. After all, there was a drugstore right here in town. Maybe he should tell Jake about the fall and his newfound ability to hear thoughts first. For a moment he debated which subject was better to start with.
{If I stay, where can I go so I won't run into anyone from school? Of course, if anyone else saw and figured it out, it won't matter. Damn, girl, you sure do know how to make things more complicated. If you hadn't been thinking about Hamilton so much for the last few days you would have realized how close you were and wouldn't be standing here starting your period with no tampons or pads. Think, Jacqueline, think!}
"WHAT?" Hamilton practically shouted at Jake, who jumped at the sudden sound and volume of his voice. Hamilton backed up a few steps, his face betraying absolute confusion. "What did you just say?"
Now it was Jake's turn to be confused. "I didn't say anything, Hamilton."
"Oh yes, you did. I heard you! What do you mean - period?" Hamilton was tactful enough to whisper the last word. They were after all in the dorm and someone might overhear him.
The color drained from Jake's face and she grabbed blindly for the bed to sit down. {How did he know that?}
"And 'Jacqueline'?" Hamilton stopped stalking around the room just long enough to question her, eyebrows arched high and azure eyes wide. His emotions were in an uproar - this was not the conversation he had planned.
"You know?" Jake whispered, not bothering with her "guy" voice this time. "How did you figure it out?" {And what are you going to do now that you know?}
Hamilton stopped pacing again and looked at Jake. That wasn't Jake's normal voice...
"Jake, I think you better tell me what's going on here."
Jake mustered every ounce of courage she had and stood to face Hamilton. She needed him to know that she was sincere. "I don't know how you figured it out, but you did. Yes, I am a girl, Hamilton." The absolute shock on his face caught Jake by surprise. {If he already knows, why does he look so stunned?}
"Are you ok, Hamilton?"
Now it was his turn to need to sit down. 'Jake is a girl? But this was an all boys school...what was a girl doing here? How the hell did I miss something like that?'
"You're...a...girl?"
"Yes. And I am so sorry, Hamilton, you've got to believe me. I didn't want to lie to you, but I didn't think I would be here this long. My mother was supposed to figure it out by now and I didn't know we'd get to be such good friends in such a short time. I just didn't know how to tell you. Not to mention that your father is the Dean and could easily have me arrested for this..." She gestured to her clothing.
"You...are...a...girl?" Hamilton still hadn't recovered from the shock.
"Yes... Why are you so surprised if you had already figured it out?" Now Jake was getting confused again, she sat in the desk chair across from him.
"I didn't know."
"But then...how did you know about my..." Jake's face flushed red with embarrassment and her eyes dropped to the floor. She just couldn't bring herself to say the last word aloud.
Hamilton took a deep breath. It was time for a confession of his own.
"Icanhearwhatyou'rethinking." He blurted out and then braced himself for the tidal wave of her reaction.
"What?" She asked in a way-too-calm voice. {What the hell did you just say?}
"I...can...hear...what...you're...thinking."
"You can hear WHAT?" The way-too-calm voice was gone.
"Your thoughts."
"What? How? When? Why?" Jake leapt up from the chair and paced frantically around the room.
Hamilton sighed, rubbing his temples. "Jake sit down and let's start over." Jake cautiously walked back to the chair and sat down. "I wanted to talk to you today about what been going on between us. How we really feel about each other. Ever since I met you, I've felt drawn to you, happy with you. And then when you kissed me, I should have been furious, but I wasn't. I was confused because deep down inside - I knew I liked it. I started to think I was gay. I wanted to talk to you and find out how you felt about me and what we should do about it."
Jake was stunned. "You liked it?" {He liked it? He liked it. You really liked it?}
"Yes, I did. But it scared the hell out of me, too. I've been avoiding my feelings ever since, but then when I heard how you felt about me..."
"Wait a minute - heard? I didn't tell anyone." {Who else knows? I haven't told anyone, not even Consuela.}
"I know. It's really hard to explain. Remember when I told you that I fell the other day?"
"Yeah, but you never gave me any details." {You haven't talked all that much in the last few days.}
"I was standing on a ladder. Looking for my old portfolio, actually, when I fell off the ladder and hit my head on the footboard of my bed on the way down."
"Ouch." Jake eyes filled with concern with the image of him getting hurt.
"Yeah, ouch. But the really freaky thing is that ever since then, I can hear what people think."
"You can hear what everyone is thinking?" Jake asked nervously. {You can hear what I'm thinking? What I've been thinking? What I'm thinking right now?}
"Yes, but...not exactly everyone. I could hear what girls were thinking and you. It's been really weird because I couldn't hear any other guys. Only you and I heard you say that you were in love with me. Now I know why I could hear you."
"Oh god!" Jake groaned and buried her face in her hands. {Oh god, oh god...my period... the guy I'm in love with...what else has he heard?}
"That's why I wanted us to talk. Today. Before I lost my nerve, but then we got here and I heard..." Hamilton blushed as his words trailed off.
"Oh god..." Jake groaned again still unable to look at Hamilton. "Is that how you figured it out?" {Please let lightening strike me down now.}
"Not really. It didn't all make sense until you came right out and said you were a girl. I didn't know until just now. I've spent the last few days trying to accept the fact that I was in love with another guy. I had no idea he wasn't really a guy." Hamilton couldn't resist smirking as he said the last sentence.
Jake stared at Hamilton with complete disbelief. {What did you just say?}
"I said I had no idea you weren't really a guy."
"No, just before that..." {The part where you used the word 'love'!} "Wait, you heard that, didn't you?" Jake buried her face in her hands again.
Hamilton thought for a moment. "I was trying to accept the fact that I was in..." he stopped, realizing exactly what he had said, "love with another guy."
Jake could barely speak; her voice came out small and timid. "Do you mean that?" {Please let him mean that...please let him mean that...please let him mean that...}
"Yes, I do." {Oh, boy.}
Hamilton stared into Jake's eyes, seeing the rush of emotions he was feeling reflected in them. For a long moment, they just looked at each other, really looking.
{Those are the most beautiful eyes on the planet. And those lips, my god, he's got incredible lips. I really want to kiss those lips again. The first time was not enough, way too short. He's just too gorgeous for words. And he's standing here, in my room, not running away screaming because he just found out I've been lying to him since we met. He's here.}
"I'm not going anywhere yet, Jake."
Hamilton studied Jake's face realizing that he had been an idiot to think she was guy. Her features were too delicate, her chin far too smooth and she looked adorable with her cheeks still rosy from blushing so much. As if his fingers had read his mind, they went to her face and gently traced her features. Her skin was smooth and silky; his fingertips tingled with delight. He had to kiss her.
Jake thought she was going to explode when he touched her, but nothing could have prepared her for the feeling of his lips gently pressing on hers. For a second, she simply enjoyed the contact, then the dam of pent up passion broke. {Oh my god, I just died and went to heaven.} She opened her mouth to his and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. I can't believe this is really happening. He eagerly responded, wrapping his arms around her waist and deepening the kiss, getting lost in his own flood of emotions.
{This feels so good. Can I do this forever?}
"Gets my vote." He answered without fully breaking contact with her lips. Jake gave him a little pinch for listening to her thoughts again and told herself to stop thinking so much.
It was several minutes later before they came up for air again.
"Wow." Hamilton looked a little dazed.
"Yeah, wow." Jake's smile stretched from ear to ear. {I think I need to sit down.}
"We still have a lot to talk about, Jake. Like the fact that your name isn't Jake and what exactly you're doing here."
"I know. It's a long story though." Jake looked at her watch. {I might just make it.} "Can we talk later?"
Hamilton smiled, remembering that SHE still had to get to Carson. "Yeah, sure. Call me when you get back?" A slight blush crept across his cheeks.
{Oh god, that's right he knows. This is so embarrassing.} "Thanks. I will, I promise." A deeper blush settled on Jake's face as she remembered something else. {He can still hear what I'm thinking!}
Hamilton looked at Jake with a sly grin as he opened the door and held it as she passed him. "Yes, I can."
"Oh god!" Jake groaned as they walked down the hall together. {Don't think about anything. Don't think about anything...} The deep sound of Hamilton's laughter echoed off the paneled walls.
Ninety minutes later she was back at Rawley and dialing Hamilton's phone number. With plenty of time to think during the ride to Carson, she had plenty of questions for Mr. Fleming and one really big concern.
"Hello."
"Hi, it's Jake."
"You're back?"
"Yep."
"Good. I'll be over in 10 minutes."
Jake smiled and thought of the mind-boggling kiss they shared earlier. 'With any luck, there will be more of those', she thought and then stopped abruptly.
"Wait, can you hear what I'm thinking now?"
Hamilton paused. "No, actually. I guess it's just when I'm close to the person."
Jake chuckled. "Maybe we should talk about this over the phone then."
"No way. I just found out that the guy I've been attracted to is really a girl and a phenomenal kisser. I'm coming over!"
Jake laughed again. "I'll see you in FIVE minutes then," she said and hung up the phone.
Jake opened the door and smiled brightly when Hamilton appeared in the doorway. {God, I love that face.}
"Thanks, yours isn't so bad, either." He chuckled as he entered the room.
Jake groaned with frustration and closed the door. "I don't think I like this 'gift' of yours at all. It gives you an unfair advantage."
"Unfair advantage, huh? Does that mean you want to know what I'm thinking?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact. I do." Jake crossed her arms and leaned against the door.
Hamilton crossed the room to stand in front of her. "I'm thinking that even with as many questions as I have for you right now, I really don't want to talk just yet." Hamilton had spent the last hour and a half going over the fact the Jake was really a girl. Lately, he had spent so much time thinking about his possible homosexuality - that right now - the only thing he wanted to do was reaffirm his heterosexuality.
Jake smiled and dropped her arms. Hamilton took that as an invitation and kissed her.
The kiss went on and on, Jake pressed herself against Hamilton's chest in an effort to be closer to him. {Mmmm, this feels so good. He has such a nice chest.}
Hamilton smiled without breaking the kiss, but then realized something and pulled back. "That reminds me," Jake blushed as she remembered he could hear her thoughts "where's yours?"
Jake had to laugh. She didn't know which was more embarrassing, Hamilton hearing her think about his chest or trying to tell him how she hid hers. Instead, she reached under her shirt and unfastened the corset. "With this." She said, pulling it out with a smile.
Hamilton looked from her chest to her hand and back to her chest. Smiling, he said, "I like this much better." And pulled her back against him for another kiss.
Feeling his chest against hers, without the corset, was a whole new world of sensations for Jake. {This is even better. I could get used to this.}
"Mmmm, me too. This is SO much better." He said between kisses.
"Damn!" Jake said, stepping back from him. "This is not fair. I don't like this at all." She stalked over to the bed and sat down to pout.
"I'm sorry." He smiled, clearly not sorry at all. This was fun, after days of being driven to distraction by unwanted voices, this was finally something he could enjoy hearing.
He went to the bed and sat down next to her. "Why don't you tell me what you're doing here in the first place then?"
Bella was outside the gas station and Sean was playfully chasing her around the pumps. Three of the heads turned back to their conversation. Scout alone was left staring at the scene outside. A moment later, Jake noticed that Scout hadn't rejoined the conversation. She followed his gaze and realized he was staring at Bella. The look in his eyes was unmistakable - love, complete, hopeless love.
{It must be nice to have someone look at you like that. He's so obviously in love with her.}
As Jake turned back to the conversation, she caught her reflection in the mirror on the wall. Running her fingers through her super short "boy" hair, she suddenly felt very self-conscious.
{I'm really starting to hate this haircut.}
Jake stared out across the street again and watched the interaction between Bella and Sean. Feeling more self-conscious and sad with each passing moment.
{Look at her, no wonder they're all crazy about her. She's beautiful. What guy wouldn't want long, blond hair and plenty of curves? How could someone like me ever compete with that?}
Jake turned to look at Hamilton. {This would be so much easier if you weren't so incredibly gorgeous.}
Hamilton dropped the uneaten spoonful of ice cream back into his dish, mild panic setting in. Whatever was going on between him and Jake was not something he wanted Will and Scout to witness. He wanted to be out of there - now.
"Guys, I just remembered, I promised my mom I'd help her with some art supplies tonight. I gotta run. Catch ya later." Hamilton took out his wallet and left money on the counter for his meal.
{What? Wait! Why is he leaving?} "Hamilton, wait! Don't you want a ride back?" Jake asked quickly.
"No, that's ok, you stay and finish. I can walk back."
{No...don't leave now. What happened?}
Jake watched Hamilton leave and couldn't help but feel like crying. She excused herself and went to the bathroom. She hated going into the men's room but with the diner empty, it should be safe. Carefully checking to be sure she was alone, she washed her face with cold water and stared at her reflection. "Suck it up girl, you're supposed to be a boy and boys don't cry," she told the face in the mirror.
Hamilton walked home slowly, trying to decide what he was going to do about Jake. He couldn't handle this wild ride of emotions forever. Sooner or later, he was just going to have to talk to Jake - about everything. By the time he reached his front door he had decided that tomorrow after practice was as good a time as any.
Walking past his father's study, his mother suddenly stepped out and shut the door quickly behind her.
"Hi Munchie, how was dinner?" She asked as she smoothed the tail of her shirt. {You weren't supposed to be home this early, Munchie. I hope he can't tell what we were doing.}
Hamilton just shook his head and continued towards the stairs. "Fine, Mom. Goodnight, Mom."
The next afternoon, Kate enlisted Hamilton to help get new girl settled in and he ended up missing Finn's class entirely. Worried that he wouldn't get the chance to talk to Jake before practice began, he raced back from the Girl's Campus. Hamilton slowed as he neared the docks, not wanting to appear too eager. Jake was leaning against the railing waiting with the others for Finn to arrive.
Taking a space next to Jake, Hamilton leaned in slightly and whispered. "Can we talk after practice? Alone?"
{What?} "Yeah, sure. What about?" {Is this good or bad?} Jake struggled to keep her expression neutral.
"I'll explain later." Hamilton was spared further questions by Finn's arrival.
Hamilton's request had obviously unsettled Jake. Jake's thoughts were normally focused on the team's rowing during practice, but today, her practice thoughts were outnumbered by personal ones. Hamilton tried to ignore Jake's voice in his head and concentrate on rowing. But as practice went on, he found them harder to ignore and even harder to understand.
{Will is still going into the water too soon. Why does Hamilton want to talk to me alone? Scout looks like he's been doing this his entire life. What did I do wrong now? Why does Finn insist on rambling about literature while we are supposed to be concentrating on rowing? Why does he want to talk to me today of all days? I need to get to Carson before the drugstore closes. I don't want to say no to him, but if this takes too long, I'm really going to be hurtin'. Can't Brian ever get his timing right? What does he want to talk to me about?}
Hamilton searched Jake's face, hoping for some sort of explanation for the thoughts. Jake was preoccupied and didn't even notice him staring. He continued to watch Jake, but found no answers. As they rowed up next to the raft in the middle of the lake, Jake looked somewhat apprehensive.
{Please god, don't let Finn give us another swimming lesson. Not today, please!}
When everyone was out of the boat and settled on the raft, Finn began reading the new poem. Hamilton tried to figure out Jake's sudden panic over swimming. Finn had made them swim the lake before and it was obvious that Jake could swim. So why was Jake praying they wouldn't have to swim today? What was the big deal?
{Come on already, it's a poem, not a novel. Read the damn thing and let's get out of here.}
Hamilton had to smile. Finn could be very, long-winded. None of Jake's thoughts gave him a clue as to what was really wrong though. 'Maybe he's worried I know he's really gay,' Hamilton thought.
Finn finally finished the poem and Will saved them all by answering the ensuing questions about it's meaning. Climbing back into the boat, Jake breathed a sigh of relief. {Thank you! I could not handle swimming today. It's hard enough to hide this without having to jump in the water unexpectedly.}
Hamilton looked at Jake. "Hide what?" He mumbled to himself.
Jake was back to business until they neared the Rawley docks. Realizing that practice was almost over, Jake's nervousness about Hamilton returned.
{What does he want to talk about? It's got to be a big deal or he wouldn't have asked that we talk alone. As much as I want to talk to him, I really don't need this today!}
Jake and Hamilton both waited until everyone else was out of the boat before climbing out. Hamilton looked at Jake; it was now or never. They were either going to talk about everything that had been bothering him and get this out in the open or they were going to be uncomfortable around each other forever. There was no way Hamilton could tolerate the latter for very much longer. As unpleasant as it may be, they had to talk.
"Can we go to your room?"
{Oh god...} "Sure." Jake tried to smile.
They walked to the dorm in silence, with Jake wondering what he wanted to talk about and how long this might take. She unlocked the door and ushered Hamilton into the room. There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment as they both just looked at each other.
{I'd never get tired of staring at that face. Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it.}
Jake's thoughts reminded Hamilton of his purpose. Not exactly sure how to begin he spoke slowly, putting the words together carefully.
"Jake...I wanted to talk about... what's happened..."
{Happened?}
"I think you know what I mean."
{Mean? OH MY GOD! Did it start already and it shows?} Jake fought the urge to check her backside in the mirror.
"There's something unusual here and I think we should talk about it and be honest with each other." Hamilton took the tiniest of steps closer to Jake.
Jake, however, was panicking. {Unusual? Talk and be honest? Oh god, it did start...there must be a spot on the back of my pants. He figured it out! Oh god, what if someone else saw and figured it out, too? What am I going to do now? Better yet...what's HE going to do now? Shit, this will not be a short conversation. There's no way I'm going to get to Carson before the drugstore closes now. Ok, think - you can either stay and have a very important conversation with the guy you're in love with or you can blow him off, possibly risking any hope of salvaging your relationship with said guy, and go to Carson anyway.}
Hamilton stared at Jake. He heard the frantic whirl of thoughts and the "guy you're in love with" part. But that still didn't explain why Jake needed to go to Carson and why it was so important. After all, there was a drugstore right here in town. Maybe he should tell Jake about the fall and his newfound ability to hear thoughts first. For a moment he debated which subject was better to start with.
{If I stay, where can I go so I won't run into anyone from school? Of course, if anyone else saw and figured it out, it won't matter. Damn, girl, you sure do know how to make things more complicated. If you hadn't been thinking about Hamilton so much for the last few days you would have realized how close you were and wouldn't be standing here starting your period with no tampons or pads. Think, Jacqueline, think!}
"WHAT?" Hamilton practically shouted at Jake, who jumped at the sudden sound and volume of his voice. Hamilton backed up a few steps, his face betraying absolute confusion. "What did you just say?"
Now it was Jake's turn to be confused. "I didn't say anything, Hamilton."
"Oh yes, you did. I heard you! What do you mean - period?" Hamilton was tactful enough to whisper the last word. They were after all in the dorm and someone might overhear him.
The color drained from Jake's face and she grabbed blindly for the bed to sit down. {How did he know that?}
"And 'Jacqueline'?" Hamilton stopped stalking around the room just long enough to question her, eyebrows arched high and azure eyes wide. His emotions were in an uproar - this was not the conversation he had planned.
"You know?" Jake whispered, not bothering with her "guy" voice this time. "How did you figure it out?" {And what are you going to do now that you know?}
Hamilton stopped pacing again and looked at Jake. That wasn't Jake's normal voice...
"Jake, I think you better tell me what's going on here."
Jake mustered every ounce of courage she had and stood to face Hamilton. She needed him to know that she was sincere. "I don't know how you figured it out, but you did. Yes, I am a girl, Hamilton." The absolute shock on his face caught Jake by surprise. {If he already knows, why does he look so stunned?}
"Are you ok, Hamilton?"
Now it was his turn to need to sit down. 'Jake is a girl? But this was an all boys school...what was a girl doing here? How the hell did I miss something like that?'
"You're...a...girl?"
"Yes. And I am so sorry, Hamilton, you've got to believe me. I didn't want to lie to you, but I didn't think I would be here this long. My mother was supposed to figure it out by now and I didn't know we'd get to be such good friends in such a short time. I just didn't know how to tell you. Not to mention that your father is the Dean and could easily have me arrested for this..." She gestured to her clothing.
"You...are...a...girl?" Hamilton still hadn't recovered from the shock.
"Yes... Why are you so surprised if you had already figured it out?" Now Jake was getting confused again, she sat in the desk chair across from him.
"I didn't know."
"But then...how did you know about my..." Jake's face flushed red with embarrassment and her eyes dropped to the floor. She just couldn't bring herself to say the last word aloud.
Hamilton took a deep breath. It was time for a confession of his own.
"Icanhearwhatyou'rethinking." He blurted out and then braced himself for the tidal wave of her reaction.
"What?" She asked in a way-too-calm voice. {What the hell did you just say?}
"I...can...hear...what...you're...thinking."
"You can hear WHAT?" The way-too-calm voice was gone.
"Your thoughts."
"What? How? When? Why?" Jake leapt up from the chair and paced frantically around the room.
Hamilton sighed, rubbing his temples. "Jake sit down and let's start over." Jake cautiously walked back to the chair and sat down. "I wanted to talk to you today about what been going on between us. How we really feel about each other. Ever since I met you, I've felt drawn to you, happy with you. And then when you kissed me, I should have been furious, but I wasn't. I was confused because deep down inside - I knew I liked it. I started to think I was gay. I wanted to talk to you and find out how you felt about me and what we should do about it."
Jake was stunned. "You liked it?" {He liked it? He liked it. You really liked it?}
"Yes, I did. But it scared the hell out of me, too. I've been avoiding my feelings ever since, but then when I heard how you felt about me..."
"Wait a minute - heard? I didn't tell anyone." {Who else knows? I haven't told anyone, not even Consuela.}
"I know. It's really hard to explain. Remember when I told you that I fell the other day?"
"Yeah, but you never gave me any details." {You haven't talked all that much in the last few days.}
"I was standing on a ladder. Looking for my old portfolio, actually, when I fell off the ladder and hit my head on the footboard of my bed on the way down."
"Ouch." Jake eyes filled with concern with the image of him getting hurt.
"Yeah, ouch. But the really freaky thing is that ever since then, I can hear what people think."
"You can hear what everyone is thinking?" Jake asked nervously. {You can hear what I'm thinking? What I've been thinking? What I'm thinking right now?}
"Yes, but...not exactly everyone. I could hear what girls were thinking and you. It's been really weird because I couldn't hear any other guys. Only you and I heard you say that you were in love with me. Now I know why I could hear you."
"Oh god!" Jake groaned and buried her face in her hands. {Oh god, oh god...my period... the guy I'm in love with...what else has he heard?}
"That's why I wanted us to talk. Today. Before I lost my nerve, but then we got here and I heard..." Hamilton blushed as his words trailed off.
"Oh god..." Jake groaned again still unable to look at Hamilton. "Is that how you figured it out?" {Please let lightening strike me down now.}
"Not really. It didn't all make sense until you came right out and said you were a girl. I didn't know until just now. I've spent the last few days trying to accept the fact that I was in love with another guy. I had no idea he wasn't really a guy." Hamilton couldn't resist smirking as he said the last sentence.
Jake stared at Hamilton with complete disbelief. {What did you just say?}
"I said I had no idea you weren't really a guy."
"No, just before that..." {The part where you used the word 'love'!} "Wait, you heard that, didn't you?" Jake buried her face in her hands again.
Hamilton thought for a moment. "I was trying to accept the fact that I was in..." he stopped, realizing exactly what he had said, "love with another guy."
Jake could barely speak; her voice came out small and timid. "Do you mean that?" {Please let him mean that...please let him mean that...please let him mean that...}
"Yes, I do." {Oh, boy.}
Hamilton stared into Jake's eyes, seeing the rush of emotions he was feeling reflected in them. For a long moment, they just looked at each other, really looking.
{Those are the most beautiful eyes on the planet. And those lips, my god, he's got incredible lips. I really want to kiss those lips again. The first time was not enough, way too short. He's just too gorgeous for words. And he's standing here, in my room, not running away screaming because he just found out I've been lying to him since we met. He's here.}
"I'm not going anywhere yet, Jake."
Hamilton studied Jake's face realizing that he had been an idiot to think she was guy. Her features were too delicate, her chin far too smooth and she looked adorable with her cheeks still rosy from blushing so much. As if his fingers had read his mind, they went to her face and gently traced her features. Her skin was smooth and silky; his fingertips tingled with delight. He had to kiss her.
Jake thought she was going to explode when he touched her, but nothing could have prepared her for the feeling of his lips gently pressing on hers. For a second, she simply enjoyed the contact, then the dam of pent up passion broke. {Oh my god, I just died and went to heaven.} She opened her mouth to his and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. I can't believe this is really happening. He eagerly responded, wrapping his arms around her waist and deepening the kiss, getting lost in his own flood of emotions.
{This feels so good. Can I do this forever?}
"Gets my vote." He answered without fully breaking contact with her lips. Jake gave him a little pinch for listening to her thoughts again and told herself to stop thinking so much.
It was several minutes later before they came up for air again.
"Wow." Hamilton looked a little dazed.
"Yeah, wow." Jake's smile stretched from ear to ear. {I think I need to sit down.}
"We still have a lot to talk about, Jake. Like the fact that your name isn't Jake and what exactly you're doing here."
"I know. It's a long story though." Jake looked at her watch. {I might just make it.} "Can we talk later?"
Hamilton smiled, remembering that SHE still had to get to Carson. "Yeah, sure. Call me when you get back?" A slight blush crept across his cheeks.
{Oh god, that's right he knows. This is so embarrassing.} "Thanks. I will, I promise." A deeper blush settled on Jake's face as she remembered something else. {He can still hear what I'm thinking!}
Hamilton looked at Jake with a sly grin as he opened the door and held it as she passed him. "Yes, I can."
"Oh god!" Jake groaned as they walked down the hall together. {Don't think about anything. Don't think about anything...} The deep sound of Hamilton's laughter echoed off the paneled walls.
Ninety minutes later she was back at Rawley and dialing Hamilton's phone number. With plenty of time to think during the ride to Carson, she had plenty of questions for Mr. Fleming and one really big concern.
"Hello."
"Hi, it's Jake."
"You're back?"
"Yep."
"Good. I'll be over in 10 minutes."
Jake smiled and thought of the mind-boggling kiss they shared earlier. 'With any luck, there will be more of those', she thought and then stopped abruptly.
"Wait, can you hear what I'm thinking now?"
Hamilton paused. "No, actually. I guess it's just when I'm close to the person."
Jake chuckled. "Maybe we should talk about this over the phone then."
"No way. I just found out that the guy I've been attracted to is really a girl and a phenomenal kisser. I'm coming over!"
Jake laughed again. "I'll see you in FIVE minutes then," she said and hung up the phone.
Jake opened the door and smiled brightly when Hamilton appeared in the doorway. {God, I love that face.}
"Thanks, yours isn't so bad, either." He chuckled as he entered the room.
Jake groaned with frustration and closed the door. "I don't think I like this 'gift' of yours at all. It gives you an unfair advantage."
"Unfair advantage, huh? Does that mean you want to know what I'm thinking?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact. I do." Jake crossed her arms and leaned against the door.
Hamilton crossed the room to stand in front of her. "I'm thinking that even with as many questions as I have for you right now, I really don't want to talk just yet." Hamilton had spent the last hour and a half going over the fact the Jake was really a girl. Lately, he had spent so much time thinking about his possible homosexuality - that right now - the only thing he wanted to do was reaffirm his heterosexuality.
Jake smiled and dropped her arms. Hamilton took that as an invitation and kissed her.
The kiss went on and on, Jake pressed herself against Hamilton's chest in an effort to be closer to him. {Mmmm, this feels so good. He has such a nice chest.}
Hamilton smiled without breaking the kiss, but then realized something and pulled back. "That reminds me," Jake blushed as she remembered he could hear her thoughts "where's yours?"
Jake had to laugh. She didn't know which was more embarrassing, Hamilton hearing her think about his chest or trying to tell him how she hid hers. Instead, she reached under her shirt and unfastened the corset. "With this." She said, pulling it out with a smile.
Hamilton looked from her chest to her hand and back to her chest. Smiling, he said, "I like this much better." And pulled her back against him for another kiss.
Feeling his chest against hers, without the corset, was a whole new world of sensations for Jake. {This is even better. I could get used to this.}
"Mmmm, me too. This is SO much better." He said between kisses.
"Damn!" Jake said, stepping back from him. "This is not fair. I don't like this at all." She stalked over to the bed and sat down to pout.
"I'm sorry." He smiled, clearly not sorry at all. This was fun, after days of being driven to distraction by unwanted voices, this was finally something he could enjoy hearing.
He went to the bed and sat down next to her. "Why don't you tell me what you're doing here in the first place then?"