"You have to get me a tape. A VCR tape. I won't tell you which one, but
you'll know." Sarah's smile was a sun compared to the pale moon of Jareth's
sour face.
" Sarah, I don't even know what a tape is! I'm not learned in terran
technology."
" Oh, well you seemed to use that riding whip well enough. Too bad."
Sarah said, mockery adding a dagger's edge to her smile. She reached for the
little bell by the side of her bed she used to call her goblin-slaves.
Jareth's look shot daggers. "I'll find my own way out, thank you. I don't
think the goblins would appreciate my being here. "Scary Sarah" can be
promenading with her arch enemy, you know." He said, brushing her cheek with
one gloved hand. She jerked away and slapped him. "Oooow!!! Now, Sarah,
that," his voice was high and screechy with pain," was uncalled for!"
Sarah grinned at him uncannily, yet he continued, regaining some
composure. " When I return, with this tape, I'll have my goblins, no matter
what." And with that dark comment, Jareth changed not an owl and flew away.



Jareth landed in a dark alley towards the middle of Sarah's suburban
town. After turning back into his dashing human form, Jareth realized he would
need to find some human cloths. He couldn't be waltzing around town in his
tights, causing car accidents and the like now could he! Unfortunately, last time
he'd been down here, he had asked a human for help in choosing some cloths.
She had informed him that he should wear nothing but something she called
boxers, and the results of that were quite interesting. He had spent a night in
jail. He knew his underground cloths weren't considered 'normal' per sae, so he
needed some aboveground ones.
Luckily, he was in a concealed alley, so he shed his cloths and went out
to find new ones. The door across from him seemed like a good place to start,
so he entered. The sign on the door had said 'no admittance, private property',
but how was he supposed to know that? Inside the door, he was in a large
unheated room. The breeze was quite uncomfortable, and so he decided to put
his tights back on. He searched around the room, and met only one person, a
young woman who blushed and then fainted at the sight of him. He often had
that effect on mortals.
This room was full of boxes, and inside of them he found cloths! "Well
that's helpful." He said to the unconscious woman. He started to search for
ones closer to his size. This was quite a complicated task, for mortal fashion,
like their technology, was quite beyond him. Men never wore skirts, that much
he knew. That was mainly all he knew.
Finally, the goblin king was happy with his outfit. He was dressed in a black
pair of pants (the bell bottoms had been too short. A fancy crimson shirt, from
which he had had to remove many annoying pins, just suited him. He had kept
on his expensive Italian-made high-heeled boots (what, do you think they make
everything in the underground?), because he had seen a pair or two like them
in boxes. He did not know they were for women. He finished this ensemble with
a long black fake trench coat, although the theory of fake leather was totally
confusing to him. Finally, dress to the best, Jareth walked out into the store.
If simply walking out of the employee door didn't get him in enough
trouble, there was also the fact of his face. Not the face itself, but the eye-paint
he wore, as well as his unusual hairstyle. The fact that he was in the ladies
undergarment section didn't help much either. Jareth tried confusedly to explain
his predicament, but the Mall Mounties paid him no heed as they threw him out
of the store. A particularly chubby one yelled at him, "Get out and stay out you
make-up mullet freak! The eighties are over!!"
Jareth understood none of this, but as he walked quickly away from the
store he tried to rub of his eye-paint, and flatten down his unruly hair. When
he'd done his best, he reviewed his surroundings. He was in a corridor of sorts,
but the openings of many stores surrounded him. He looked for a way out
confusedly, but everywhere were these force fields, cool and hard to the touch,
yet perfectly clear. He sensed they were somehow doors, but he couldn't figure
out how to open them. "Well, this is just wonderful. "He said to himself. "I'll
never navigate this labyrinth!"
Sarah was craftier than she appeared. Now he was trapped in a huge
crowded place, full of people who hated him. Not the best circumstances.
Perhaps he could exit form a store, like the one he had dressed in. He walked
into a store to his immediate right. He immediately ran out. The store had been
full of perfume!!! Jareth caught his breath, and prayed he would be rid of that
smell before he reentered the Labyrinth. He walked on meekly; fearful the next
store might be a dreadful as that one.
He tried his hardest to ignore the dirty looks he was getting. His pride
and temper got the best of him when an old woman walking with her two
grandkids, he supposed, stopped to lecture him.
"You shouldn't go out lookng that outrageous in public!" she said
crustily.
"You remind me of the babe." Jareth said politely.
"why…I….what babe?" she stuttered.
"The babe with the power." He answered. The old woman turned red in the
face.
She turned to walk away, but the little boy she dragged along cried out,
"What power?"
Jareth grinned at him and pointed his hand at him in common spell-casting
position 3.5, with a slight variation of the pointer finger. Anyway, he answers
"the power of voodoo!" the old woman had whisked away the kid, leaving Jareth
humming the rest of the song to himself. He unconsciously walked faster,
fearing the Mall Mounties.
The king needed some mortal to answer his questions about a Vcr tape,
what ever that was. He saw a girl sitting outside of a store, deliberately
coughing on people as they walked by. Something about her dark hair and eyes
reminded him of a more comic looking Sarah. She looked like the kind of person
who wouldn't be easily disturbed by him. She couched on him as he turned to
face her.
"Oh, sorry sir, I have this cold…." Her voice trailed off as she noticed
Jareth's 'unusual 'appearance. Apparently, his hair smoothing hadn't done the
trick.
"Miss, I kindly request your assistance." He said, bowing low to this girl,
who gazed on amazed.
"Well (sir weirdo," she muttered,) "I …um…what can I do for you. I'm
RrmoondeK." She said, with a bizarre Russian accent on her name.
"RRRmoon duck? What? That's not your real name…" Jareth started.
RrmoondeK laughed.
"No, it's actually Balthzar, prince of darkness and apprentice to eeevil."
she said, brushing her dark hair out of her eyes.
This calmed Jareth, who did not appreciate being tricked by mortals. Thank
the Great Gods he had found another immortal noble, like himself. "Well, I'm
Jareth, the king of goblins, I'm sure you've heard of me…"
"Oh, yes." Balthezar thought he was just playing along.
"Yes, well I'm on a quest for a mortal, yes, a lousy mortal, and she want
me to find her a tape." He finished; his nerves calmed now that he had found
someone like him.
Balthezar grinned at him, though she thought he had taken this joke too
far, "what kind of tape? Scotch tape, tape tape, video tape, duct tape?"
"Duck tape? Wouldn't that hurt?" Jareth asked truthfully. Balthezar
nodded sadly. "Well, Sarah said it was a veecee R-tape."
Balthezar cowered in the dawn of understanding. "Of, a video. Video and
vcr are the same thing." She added, seeing his disturbed look.
"Oh! You know what they are?" Jareth said amazed. "You must truly be
learned in the ways of humans. Here, take this, so you can find me in the divine
realms, the Underground." Jareth handed her a shimmering card, with a crystal
ball in which scrolling letters read "Jareth, ruling King of
goblins, and labyrinthine master; call for a good
time."
"Thanks…" she managed, amazed by this unique business card.
"Sorry, but I don't have mine on me…"
"That's fine, but…"
"GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" a dreadful voice said, from
behind them. Jareth shivered in his women's boots.