Hello everyone! It's me Amazonness Ryoga trying to bring you
a story you will enjoy! Some people will like this story and others won't. It's about Tasuki and Chichiri, and if
you're offended by homosexuality I suggest you stop reading now. Also, I don't own these characters, Yu
Watase does (All who thinks she's a goddess raise you're hand ~raises
hand~). Enjoy!!! * WARNING: Spoilers
from end of series!!!
Someone to Live For
I woke up slowly, pain throbbing through my
head. I kept my eyes pressed shut,
trying to block out the golden sunshine that was pouring in through my bedroom
window. All I felt like doing was
sleeping, I didn't want to get up and face the harsh reality of my life. A gentle breeze flowed onto my body, awakening
my senses.
I tried with all my being not to
remember what had happened the previous day, as I lazily gazed around the
room. It all seemed like a blur. So much of my world had fallen apart in the
last few days.
First of all, Nuriko died facing the
horrible creature Ashitare, who also happened to be one of the Seiryu Seishi. Nuriko
gave his life to protect us, and to help us reach the long awaited Shinzaho,
which happened to be stolen from us right after we came into possession of it.
Chiriko had committed suicide, and
yet that is not the right way to describe it. He died so bravely, fighting a Seiryu Seishi by the name of Miboshi. Killing himself was the only way to stop the
evil temple master. He cried, begging me
to use my tessen to murder him instantly, but I could not bring myself to harm
him.
Then, Miaka and Tamahome disappeared
right in the middle of the war between Konan and Kuto. No one knew where they were. They had literally vanished without a trace. We thought having our Seishi powers taken
away from us was bad enough, now our Miko was missing, and so were our hopes of
ever summoning Suzaku.
Also, Mitsukake gave up his life to
save the people around him. He
sacrificed his life, to help as many people as he could. He was truly a noble man. His sacrifice had saved hundreds, but in
saving others he could not save himself.
Lastly, Hotohori, the young,
handsome emperor of Konan, had died in battle.
I jerked myself out of bed as an
image of Hotohori danced across my eyelids. I could feel my face get hot, and my eyes start to burn as I roughly
pressed a hand to my face and painful tears ran down my face. My heart was racked with pain as I thought
of his beautiful face as he uttered his last words to the one he loved, Miaka.
The
intensity of Hotohori's love for Miaka was always very clear to me. I knew no one could ever love anyone more
than Hotohori loved Miaka. To be
able to die for someone, I thought to myself, that is true bravery. But do I have anyone to die for? No, the question is, do I have anyone to
live for? I have no one to love… and no
one to love me…
I slowly I walked to the large
mirror hanging on my wall and looked at my pathetic reflection. I felt completely useless to myself, let
alone anyone else. My tired eyes were bloodshot, and my complexion was pale. My bright orange hair was a complete
mess. I looked like I had been through
hell, and in all honesty, felt like it too.
As I looked at the tears falling
down my face the muscles throughout my body screamed, my knees bucked forward
and I fell weakly to the ground. My
body shook violently with sobs. The
bitter loneliness I felt was too much to bear. I felt there was nothing left to hope for, nothing left to dream about,
since all my dreams had been shattered.
I closed my eyes
and prayed to fall asleep and never wake up again.
I opened my eyes and rubbed them as
I blinked groggily. I felt pleasantly
refreshed. I looked around and my heart skipped a beat. I rubbed my eyes again because I couldn't
believe what I was seeing.
When I checked again I was still in
the same unfamiliar place. I was
standing in the middle of an open field filled with wild flowers. The warm sun poured over my face, making me
feel wonderful as the warm wind whipped around my body.
What is this place, I thought
to myself. Am I in heaven? Did I really die?!
All of my heartaches and pains were
gone, I felt as bright as the sunrays that shone down on me.
As I shut my eyes and faced the sun
I could hear a mysterious noise coming from behind me. I turned around in slow motion and faced the
man behind me.
"Ch-Chichiri!" I gasped, startled by
his presence. "Where are we?"
Chichiri slowly pulled his mask off
of his face and, ignoring my question said, "You need to pull yourself
together, Tasuki. Your life is not over
yet, no da."
"There is nothing in my life but
pain!" I yelled at him, frustrated by the thoughts of my agonizing life. "I don't want to live in that kind of pain
anymore, you don't understand anything I'm going through."
"You have to live on. There will be many more happy times in your
life, no da. Don't give up on
everything yet!"
I looked at the older man and, even
though he is very wise, glared at him like he was crazy. "You don't…" I started. "You don't know how I feel, so don't talk to
me like that! You don't know a goddamned thing."
"I understand," Chichiri said
gravely, moving closer to me. "I know
what your feeling."
I hung my head, irritated that my
former feelings had started to return, brewing over my heart like a stormy
cloud. I could sense Chichiri standing
next to me, but all I wanted was to be left alone.
"You need to live for those that
love you," Chichiri stated.
"No one loves me," I yelled
angrily. "I have no one to live for!"
"Live for me," he whispered before
gently lifting my face to meet his. He
tenderly placed his lips on top of mine. I opened my eyes wide, surprised by his actions. I had never imagined Chichiri would approach
me that way.
The wonderful feeling of Chichiri's
soft lips over mine brought emotions of bliss I could have never expected. I grabbed the blue haired man and pressed
his body against mine as I kissed him back.
I jerked up, startled. I looked down at myself, and saw that I was
lying in my bed again. It was all a
dream. It was all a beautiful dream. The vision of Chichiri standing in the field
was imprinted in the back of my mind. I
don't know if I couldn't get it out of my head, or if I didn't want
to get it out of my head. I laid against
pillow again as I brought my hands up and rubbed my face tiredly.
"I see you're up now Tasuki," a
familiar voice called out. I removed
one of my hands from my face, and glanced at the figure sitting on the foot of
my bed. It was Chichiri.
"What's up?" I asked him as
nonchalantly as I could, feeling my face blush as the image of him kissing me
came back into my mind, and wondered why I didn't notice him there in the first
place.
"I think I should be the one asking
you that, no da," Chichiri responded. "I found you unconscious on the floor. Are you alright?"
He got up and slowly moved closer to
me. I could feel myself begin to blush
again and looked in the other direction, embarrassed to look directly at
him. I had never had feelings like that
towards Chichiri.
"What happened?" he asked as he sat
next to me. He was so close that I felt
awkward. I was beginning to be aware of
how handsome Chichiri was, even with his mask on. To my surprise he put his hand on my forehead. "Your face is really red, no da. I think you may have a fever."
"No I'm fine," I assured him. "It's just everything lately."
"Yeah,
I know what you mean," he replied solemnly as he removed his mask. "I've been miserable lately. It seems like everyone is gone. Suzaku has been sealed. 4 of the Seishi are
dead. One is missing. We can't find our Miko. Life is just…"
"Shitty,"
I finished the sentence for him.
"No
da," he replied.
"I
can't believe Nakago killed the emperor," I mumbled mostly to myself. "I can't believe Hotohori's gone."
"You
seem to be taking this especially hard Tasuki," Chichiri remarked.
I
glanced at him quickly, my heart burning, wanting to confess my feelings
brought on mostly by the love Hotohori had shared for Miaka. I bit my lips, praying the words would not
come out of my mouth. But I had to
talk…and I needed someone to listen.
"He…"
I started unsurely. "He loved Miaka so
much. He even sacrificed himself for
her world's safety. He loved someone so
intensely, and I've never felt that before!!! Seeing him dying…seeing his life slip away, made me realize I have
nothing in this life, and if you have nothing in life, what is the point of
living it?"
Chichiri's
face showed his surprise in my last statement. I could see that he was trying to hide his surprise as best he could,
but it was plain to see he never expected me confess the deep secrets of the loneliness
I felt in my heart.
"I'm
sorry Chichiri," I apologized. "I
should have never bothered you with stuff like this."
"No
it's alright, I asked you what was wrong and you told me."
I smiled lightly as I realized how great of a
friend I had on my side. Of course
you could be more than friends, too. The
thought came unexpectedly into my mind, followed by the thought of my
dream.
I
looked over at Chichiri, fully aware of the awkward silence that was filling
the room. Now he was the one who looked
like he needed to confess something. He
had his back to me, his posture was horrible and he nervously played with the
beads of his necklace. I placed my hand
on his shoulder and turned him, so he was facing me.
I
gasped. To my surprise, a single tear
had fallen on his cheek. He looked at
me with his eye that had not been scarred painfully shut.
"Chichiri…"
"I've
had the same feeling of worthlessness too," he said solemnly. "My best friend, he betrayed my trust. I saw him kiss my fiancée…I saw them
kissing, no da. Later, she said she
could no longer marry me. I got so mad
at my friend…we fought and he fell into a river. I…" he said painfully, "I tried to save him. I reached for his hand… but a log…it came
and gouged my eye. My friend was swept
down the river."
"I'm
sorry Chichiri," I muttered.
"I
felt so hollow inside of my heart. I
felt I was no use to anyone, and the world didn't need someone like me
anymore. I jumped into the same river
my friend died in, and I swore never to love another woman again."
His
last words rang in my ears, as floods of questions roared in my mind. Never love another woman again? Does that mean? Could it be possible?
"Never love another woman again," I
repeated.
Without
knowing what I was doing I pulled Chichiri closer and embraced his small
body. To my complete and utter surprise
he held on to me too, his hands gently running through my messy hair.
"I
really wanted to die," Chichiri mumbled. "That time I jumped into the river, I really wanted to die."
My
dream flashed in my mind, and I knew exactly how to make things right again.
"Live
for me," I whispered in his ear as I placed my hand on his warm face. With my thumb I wiped a tear off of his
cheek, and gently placed my lips on top of his.
He
tenderly kissed me back, and I enjoyed the feeling of knowing I meant something
to someone…that I had someone to live for.
Heehee!!!
I've never written about two men before!!! I kinda like it. Why don't you
tell me what you think? Just remember I
warned you about the homosexuality issue before you started reading so I don't
want to hear "Yuck! Two guys?!". Anywayz, I believe love goes deeper than
gender…
Amazonness Ryoga