Author's note: This is my first fanfic. Kensuke
This is also a songfic. Please review. Flames start the fire for my place
Eternity. Ask my sister :) Also, I have taken everyone's age out of context
and made them all in High School. Sorry. Yaoi, baby!!!! This has been
reloaded.



Song: Breathing
Band: Lifehouse
Cd: No Name Face
Fic: J.S. Norris




[I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna
do when I get there]

Daisuke walked down the empty sidewalk, his normally wild hair flattened
by the rain. He had been walking for a couple of hours on the advice of
his sister, Jun. For once, she had put aside their squabbling long enough
to tell him that she loved him anyway, but he needed quiet time.

Lately, she and the rest of the DigiDestined had been kinder and more
patient with him. It might have something to do with his apology to Hikari.
He had told her at school that he was sorry for trying to step between her
and Takeru. Then he had surprised her even more by telling her what a cute
couple they made.

For Daisuke, this hadn't been too hard. They were all in their last year of
high school, and he figured that this was his last chance to amend his many
mistakes. That included apologies to all the others, even T.K.

[Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time and gracefully
fall back in the arms of grace]

He had taken care of that earlier in the week. The only person he had yet
to talk to was Ken. But that was the hardest of all. Ken was his best friend.
They knew almost every secret the other had. As far as Dai knew, Ken kept no
secrets, even if *he* did. And what a secret it was.

Jun knew. So did Hikari, and probably T.K. Which meant that Yamato and Taichi
probably knew, too. The only person he was certain didn't know was Ken. Some
best friend he had turned out to be. 'Should have done this sooner, Baka' he
muttered to himself.

"Done what, Daisuke?" He looked up to find the object of his thoughts standing
under an umbrella not a yard away. Ken's hair was dry and straight, his indigo
eyes brimming with warmth and curiosity. Daisuke's mouth went dry, and he
shook his head. "Okay, Dai. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine."

Ken looked a little hurt, and not without reason. In the years since their
friendship began, Daisuke had never refused to tell him anything that was on
his mind. Except the thought that he had set out to tell Ken anyway.

[I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
'cause I want nothing more than to sit outside
heaven's door and listen to your breathing is
where I want to be]

*POV Ken*

Ken looked at his comrade and felt disappointed. He knew that trust wasn't an
issue between them, but it still hurt when Daisuke woulnd't talk to him. He
knew that there was something going on lately, but he hadn't figured out yet
what it was. He had headed to Daisuke's house to wring it out of him, but now
that he had the chance, he couldn't bring himself to force his friend to talk.

Daisuke took a deep breath and looked up with chocolate-colored eyes. "Would
you like to spend the night tonight?" He sounded so uncertain that Ken didn't
hesitate saying yes. They agreed to meet later.

Ken went home and packed his things, then sent an email to Miyako, updating
her on the day's happenings. The reply was almost immediate.

From: boywatcher@genius.com
To: thenotsoevilone@genius.com
Re: Daisuke!!!

So! What are you going to do? Tell him! Then call me. Oh, this is
sooo exciting. Get going!

He knocked on the door to Daisuke's apartment and Jun opened it. She eyed
him for a moment, then let him in. "He's in his room, trying to figure
out how to make his hair look normal. And I don't mean normal by his
standards."

[I am looking past the shadows
In my mind into the truth and I'm trying
to identify the voices in my head
God, which one's you]

*POV Daisuke*

He heard Jun open the door and address Ken. His hair had dried into a
snarled mess that he was trying to tame. He finally gave up, deciding
that there wasn't much difference in the way it looked then and on a
normal day.

He opened the door just as the keeper of the crest of kindness raised
his fist to knock. They stood there looking silently at one another
for several seconds. Then Ken said softly, "Hi, Daisuke."

"Hi, Ken. Come in. You can set your bag by the desk." He felt awkward,
which should have been impossible, since they had spent every weekend
together for the past several years. But this time, tonight, it would
be different. If he got the courage to speak, which didn't look likely.

Ken gave him a worried glance as he shut the door. Without turning
around from his unpacking, he asked, "So, what game shall I beat you
at this weekend?"

It was an ongoing joke between them. They played video games until
their heads hurt, and then they fought over who had won the most. Ken
was normally the winner, but Daisuke never admitted defeat. He just
suggested another game as a tie-breaker.

"It doesn't matter. You know I'll kick your ass" Daisuke relaxed a
little. This was still his best friend.

[Let me feel one more time
what it feels like to feel and
break these calluses off me
one more time]

*POV Ken*

As Daisuke relaxed, Ken became more nervous. He had a secret to tell
his best friend, but he didn't know if he could spit it out. The
chance of their being friends afterwards were slim, as far as he
could tell.

Not that Daisuke would hate him. Never that. But he might not want
to be as good of friends as before, if he still even spoke to him.

He gave a mental shrug and threw back, "You haven't kicked my ass
since the time I had bronchitis. And then, you only won because I
was heavily medicated."

"Oh, whatever. Let's go. Marathon ass-whooping!!!!" They ran into
the living room, both relieved at not having to say anything. Yet.

They played until 2 a.m. Then they went back to Daisuke's room to
sleep, Dai on the bed, Ken in a sleeping bag on the floor. After
several minutes. Daisuke was asleep, and Ken lay next to the bed,
listening to the even sound of his friend breathing.

[I am hanging on every word you say
and even if you don't want to speak
tonight that's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more that to sit
outside your door and listen to
you breathing is where I want to be... I am]

*POV Daisuke*

Daisuke woke up a couple of hours later, surprised to be up before
the sun. He looked at the floor next to his bed to see Ken sleeping.
The light from a streetlamp through the window was the only
illumination.

He could feel his heart melt at the sight of Ken in slumber, his
face relaxed, a smile tilting the corners of his mouth. His breathing
was deep, the sound soothing to Daisuke.

He realized suddenly that the longer he drew this out, the harder it
would be later. The sooner he told Ken, the better. He reached out
and shook the other boy awake before he could stop himself.

[I don't want a thing from you
Bet your tired of me wainting for the
straps to fall off your table to the
ground i just want to be here now]

*POV Both*

They looked at each other, sleepy indigo to nervous brown. "Ken. For
the last couple of years, you've been my best friend. I've told
you everything. Everything except what has been eating at me for years.
I ignored it at first, but it's gotten too hard."

There was a pause, and Ken whispered quickly, "I'm sorry, Dai-chan.
There's something I've kept from you, too. It's so hard to say, but
if I don't do it now, I never will."

At the same time, they both said, "I'm gay and I'm in love with you!"

The silence that followed was long and filled only with the sound of
their breathing.

[I am hanging on every word you say
and even if you don't want to speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more that to sit
outside heaven's door and listen to you
breathing... is where I want to be, I am]

They looked at each other through the semi-darkness, shock written
on both faces. If they hadn't been so surprised, they would have
found each other's expressions comical.

Ken was the first to break eye contact. He sat up quickly and
reached up to turn on the lamp next to Daisuke's bed. They
blinked in the light, then looked at each other again.

Daisuke said quietly, "Did you, um, mean that?"

Ken nodded. "You?"

Daisuke nodded, a smile raising the corners of his mouth in a joyous
smile. "I didn't think you'd even want to be friends with me after
I told you. I mean, I knew better than to think you'd hate me,
but I was so uncertain of me, that it was hard to take the chance."

Smiling sympathetically, Ken nodded. "I know. It's taken a lot of
yelling at me from Yolie before I decided to tell you. I've been
trying to get up the courage all day, but I couldn't say it. When
you asked me to spend the night, it seemed like the perfect solution.
But I still couldn't tell you."

"I was hoping to tell you earlier, but I was so nervous that I used
the video games as a way of putting it off. But I'm glad now that I
did." Daisuke looked down shyly.

Ken reached up a hand to his cheek and lifted a his chin. "So am I."
And then he kissed him softly on the lips. It was so gentle and sweet
that they sighed against each other's lips. "Do you know, that I
even love the sound of your breathing when you sleep."0