[continued from Chapter 12]
Jade: Oh.. but we came such a long way!
Nancy: All of that for nothing!
Jade: And.. [starts to cry] I had my heart set on going home! To Mother... and... and everyone!
Ash: Don't cry, Jade! We'll get you to Tito! I may be a homosexual, but I know what I'm talking about!
Nancy: Yeah, and I maybe be a homophobe and overly obsessed with Tito, but we'll get to my lover no matter how far we have to go!
Jade: Thanks, you guys. [wipes her snot on her pretty sun dress] My mother was so good to me. I never showed appreciation. Running away and hurting her feelings like that... and she's sick. She may be dying, and it's all my fault. I'll never be able to forgive myself.. never!
Nancy: It is your fault Jade, but please... stop crying.
Doorman:Oh, for heavens sake! Don't cry anymore! I'll get you to the Wizard somehow! Come one... I had a mother myself once!
Misty: Oh... you guys. This is going to be great! I can't wait to get to sleep!
Nancy: Yeah... sleep. In Tito's bed. It'll be wonderful!
[They arrive in the room of Tito's headquarts]
Jade: Wow... he owns the Space Needle? Groovy.
Tito: I am THE Great and Powerful! Who are you? Why have you come here?
Jade: I, if you please, sir... I am Jade. I am small and meek. We've come to ask you-
Tito: SILENCE!
Jade: Oh, jiminy crickets!
Tito: The Great and Powerful knows why you have come. Step forward, Ash.
Ash: Oh boy...[gulp]
Tito: Dareth you come see me in the favor of a dirty magazine? With your thin, gay body... I usually don't work with such people, but for you I'll have an exception. You have been sent me Celie. All of you have, so I will fullfill your wishes. A dirty magazine of men, I have not.
Ash: Oh, that's quite all right. I'll just-
Tito: You, Nancy. You come for a night of sweet love making of me?
Nancy: You betcha!
Tito: Ugh... and you, Misty. You come for sedatives?
Misty: That's right, I have.
Tito: And last... young Jade. Travel all this way in persuit of going home... yet, you all must prove yourself worthy by performing a small tas. Bring me the keyboard of The Wicked Witch of the Wests computer.
Nancy: But we'd have to kill her and pry her cold little fingers off the desk to get her away from her computer!
Jade: Yeah, but that doesn't sound too bad. So, Sir. We accept your quest!
Ash: She might kill us!
Tito: Bring me the keyboard, and I'll grant your requests, now go.
Ash: But.. death!
Tito: GO!
[our friends go on a journey to Kristins lair in Bremerton]
Jade: Gee! The Ferry sure is expensive!
Nancy: For real!
[they get on the ferry]
Nancy: Let's get this seat.
Jade: Ok!
Nancy: Look! It's Celie!
Celie: Hello, my lovelies! Did you see Tito yet?
Nancy: Yes, we did! We have to perform a task.
Celie: A task, eh? What ever do you have to do.
Nancy: We have to get Kristins keyboard from her computer.
Celie: Oh my... come, children. Let me take you to the roof.
[they go to the roof]
Celie: Come, all! Stand right there on the edge.
Jade: Okay!
Celie: Now, Kristin doesn't like the smell of salt water, so this should help... [she pushes them all in the water]
All: [scream and shout]
Celie: Swim! Swim, my lovlies! Swim to Bremerton!
[when Jade, Nancy,and Misty reach the shore, they notice that Ash is not with them]
Jade: Where's Ash?!
Nancy: I bet he died. That water was pretty cold, and he was such a small, gay boy.
Misty: May God have mercy on his soul. Let's find Kristins house!
Jade: How? This city is so big!
Nancy: Maybe that's it.
Jade: How can you tell?
Nancy: Well, it's the only giant castle I see in town.
Jade: Good observation... let's go!
[they all hind behind some shrubs in front of the giant castle.]
Jade: How do you suppose we get past those guards?
Nancy: If only Ash's charm were still with us...
Misty: Aw schucks! What do we need him for? We were beautified, remember? Let's go charm them ourselves!
Nancy: Ok... it's worth a try.
Jade: I have a better idea... come here!
[all three grab a guard from behind the bushes and take their uniforms, and dress up as guards.]
Jade: Psst! And open window! Let's go in!
[they all go in]
Nancy: Good riddens! It's a dog!
Jade: It's Bitsy! She wouldn't hurt us! Come on! Let's take the stairs.
Nancy: Look! I found the computer!... but where's Kristin?
Jade: Look through that window! There's another computer! What do we do?
Nancy: I bet neither of these are the right one. She'd be on it, wouldn't she?
Misty: We should go up further! Come on!
[from behind a wall, whispering]
Jade: There she is! Would you look at that computer? Woowie! It's got to have at least 35 gigabytes, and a DSL modem at the least! How do you reckon we get that keyboard?
Nancy: I don't know. It's going to be tricky, but I know we ca-
Misty: RRRRAAAGH!
Jade: MISTY!
Kristin: What? Guards!
Jade: Oh schiznoodle! Run!
[they all run into a corner]
Jade: The window! GO! [they jump out and are in the forest again]
Kristin: Blazes! What am I to do... ah HA! You, little bird. Hold this monkey and go fly! FLY! FLY! All of you birds. Grab a monkey and Fly! Get me that girl and her Ruby Slippers!
[Back to the Trio]
Jade: Oh my! Flying monkeys!
Nancy: No, those are birds carrying monkeys!
Jade: They've got me! Help! Help!
Misty: JADE!
Nancy: Ah! We've got to find her!
[in Kristins room]
Kristin: What a pleasure to have you join me in my lonliness. Oh? What's this? [she snatches Jades pokeball]
Jade: What are you doing to do with my Magikarp? Give him back to me!
Kristin: All in good time, my pretty. All in good time.
Jade: Oh, please! Give me back my Pokemon!
Kristin: Certainly, certainly... when you give me your Pikachu slippers!
Jade: But the Good Bitch of the North told me not to!
Kristin: Very well! [hands the ball to the guard] Send this Pokemon into the river to drown!
Jade: [unenthusiastic] Oh, please.. no. DON'T drown THAT one. Oh! Fine! Here, take your Pikachu slippers! Just please, give me back Magikarp!
Kristin: Good little girl... [she pulls and tugs at the slippers that Jade put back on her feet a while ago, but they don't budge] Good grief!
Jade: I'm sorry! It's not my fault. Can I still have my pokemon?
Kristin: No! Fool that I am... I should have remembered. These slippers are so tight against your giant feet! They won't come off as long as you're alive!
Guard: Uh... huh doit! [Magikarp comes out of the ball and flies into Jades arms]
Jade: Oh, Magikarp! [she tosses the fish into the moat at the bottom of the castle.] Swim! Swim Magikarp, Swim away!
Kristin: Catch them, you fools!
Jade: Swim! He got away! [sniff] he got away!
Kristin: Which is more than you will! Drat you and your Pokemon! You've been more trouble than you're worth. One way and another, but it'll soon be over now! [she pulls out a Pokeball hour glass] You see this? That's how much longer you've got to be alive! And it isn't long, my pretty. it isn't long. I can't wait forever to get those shoes! [leaves]
Jade: [leans over to the computer monitor, where the keyboard is absent] I'm frightened, I'm frightened, Mommy! I'm frightened!
Mommy: [from the computer monitor] Jade? Jade! Where are you? It's me, your mother! We're trying to find you! Where are you?
Jade: Drat! Where's that microphone! Oh... here it is. I-I'm here, mommy! I'm here in Bremerton! I'm locked in some bitches castle! I'm trying to get home! Oh, mommy! I'm frightened! [mom starts to fuzz out] Don't go away! I'm frightened! Come back! Come back... [Kristins face starts to appear]
Kristin: Mommy! Mommy! Come back, mommy! I'll give you your mommy, my pretty!
[outside]
Nancy: There's Magikarp! Where did he come from?
Misty: More guards! Come! We need to run through!
Nancy: Noo!
Misty: [runs into the guards and they all attack her and she dies]
Nancy: Ah! My perfect oppurtunity to get through! how ironic... two people died in Chapter 13...
Jade: Oh.. but we came such a long way!
Nancy: All of that for nothing!
Jade: And.. [starts to cry] I had my heart set on going home! To Mother... and... and everyone!
Ash: Don't cry, Jade! We'll get you to Tito! I may be a homosexual, but I know what I'm talking about!
Nancy: Yeah, and I maybe be a homophobe and overly obsessed with Tito, but we'll get to my lover no matter how far we have to go!
Jade: Thanks, you guys. [wipes her snot on her pretty sun dress] My mother was so good to me. I never showed appreciation. Running away and hurting her feelings like that... and she's sick. She may be dying, and it's all my fault. I'll never be able to forgive myself.. never!
Nancy: It is your fault Jade, but please... stop crying.
Doorman:Oh, for heavens sake! Don't cry anymore! I'll get you to the Wizard somehow! Come one... I had a mother myself once!
Misty: Oh... you guys. This is going to be great! I can't wait to get to sleep!
Nancy: Yeah... sleep. In Tito's bed. It'll be wonderful!
[They arrive in the room of Tito's headquarts]
Jade: Wow... he owns the Space Needle? Groovy.
Tito: I am THE Great and Powerful! Who are you? Why have you come here?
Jade: I, if you please, sir... I am Jade. I am small and meek. We've come to ask you-
Tito: SILENCE!
Jade: Oh, jiminy crickets!
Tito: The Great and Powerful knows why you have come. Step forward, Ash.
Ash: Oh boy...[gulp]
Tito: Dareth you come see me in the favor of a dirty magazine? With your thin, gay body... I usually don't work with such people, but for you I'll have an exception. You have been sent me Celie. All of you have, so I will fullfill your wishes. A dirty magazine of men, I have not.
Ash: Oh, that's quite all right. I'll just-
Tito: You, Nancy. You come for a night of sweet love making of me?
Nancy: You betcha!
Tito: Ugh... and you, Misty. You come for sedatives?
Misty: That's right, I have.
Tito: And last... young Jade. Travel all this way in persuit of going home... yet, you all must prove yourself worthy by performing a small tas. Bring me the keyboard of The Wicked Witch of the Wests computer.
Nancy: But we'd have to kill her and pry her cold little fingers off the desk to get her away from her computer!
Jade: Yeah, but that doesn't sound too bad. So, Sir. We accept your quest!
Ash: She might kill us!
Tito: Bring me the keyboard, and I'll grant your requests, now go.
Ash: But.. death!
Tito: GO!
[our friends go on a journey to Kristins lair in Bremerton]
Jade: Gee! The Ferry sure is expensive!
Nancy: For real!
[they get on the ferry]
Nancy: Let's get this seat.
Jade: Ok!
Nancy: Look! It's Celie!
Celie: Hello, my lovelies! Did you see Tito yet?
Nancy: Yes, we did! We have to perform a task.
Celie: A task, eh? What ever do you have to do.
Nancy: We have to get Kristins keyboard from her computer.
Celie: Oh my... come, children. Let me take you to the roof.
[they go to the roof]
Celie: Come, all! Stand right there on the edge.
Jade: Okay!
Celie: Now, Kristin doesn't like the smell of salt water, so this should help... [she pushes them all in the water]
All: [scream and shout]
Celie: Swim! Swim, my lovlies! Swim to Bremerton!
[when Jade, Nancy,and Misty reach the shore, they notice that Ash is not with them]
Jade: Where's Ash?!
Nancy: I bet he died. That water was pretty cold, and he was such a small, gay boy.
Misty: May God have mercy on his soul. Let's find Kristins house!
Jade: How? This city is so big!
Nancy: Maybe that's it.
Jade: How can you tell?
Nancy: Well, it's the only giant castle I see in town.
Jade: Good observation... let's go!
[they all hind behind some shrubs in front of the giant castle.]
Jade: How do you suppose we get past those guards?
Nancy: If only Ash's charm were still with us...
Misty: Aw schucks! What do we need him for? We were beautified, remember? Let's go charm them ourselves!
Nancy: Ok... it's worth a try.
Jade: I have a better idea... come here!
[all three grab a guard from behind the bushes and take their uniforms, and dress up as guards.]
Jade: Psst! And open window! Let's go in!
[they all go in]
Nancy: Good riddens! It's a dog!
Jade: It's Bitsy! She wouldn't hurt us! Come on! Let's take the stairs.
Nancy: Look! I found the computer!... but where's Kristin?
Jade: Look through that window! There's another computer! What do we do?
Nancy: I bet neither of these are the right one. She'd be on it, wouldn't she?
Misty: We should go up further! Come on!
[from behind a wall, whispering]
Jade: There she is! Would you look at that computer? Woowie! It's got to have at least 35 gigabytes, and a DSL modem at the least! How do you reckon we get that keyboard?
Nancy: I don't know. It's going to be tricky, but I know we ca-
Misty: RRRRAAAGH!
Jade: MISTY!
Kristin: What? Guards!
Jade: Oh schiznoodle! Run!
[they all run into a corner]
Jade: The window! GO! [they jump out and are in the forest again]
Kristin: Blazes! What am I to do... ah HA! You, little bird. Hold this monkey and go fly! FLY! FLY! All of you birds. Grab a monkey and Fly! Get me that girl and her Ruby Slippers!
[Back to the Trio]
Jade: Oh my! Flying monkeys!
Nancy: No, those are birds carrying monkeys!
Jade: They've got me! Help! Help!
Misty: JADE!
Nancy: Ah! We've got to find her!
[in Kristins room]
Kristin: What a pleasure to have you join me in my lonliness. Oh? What's this? [she snatches Jades pokeball]
Jade: What are you doing to do with my Magikarp? Give him back to me!
Kristin: All in good time, my pretty. All in good time.
Jade: Oh, please! Give me back my Pokemon!
Kristin: Certainly, certainly... when you give me your Pikachu slippers!
Jade: But the Good Bitch of the North told me not to!
Kristin: Very well! [hands the ball to the guard] Send this Pokemon into the river to drown!
Jade: [unenthusiastic] Oh, please.. no. DON'T drown THAT one. Oh! Fine! Here, take your Pikachu slippers! Just please, give me back Magikarp!
Kristin: Good little girl... [she pulls and tugs at the slippers that Jade put back on her feet a while ago, but they don't budge] Good grief!
Jade: I'm sorry! It's not my fault. Can I still have my pokemon?
Kristin: No! Fool that I am... I should have remembered. These slippers are so tight against your giant feet! They won't come off as long as you're alive!
Guard: Uh... huh doit! [Magikarp comes out of the ball and flies into Jades arms]
Jade: Oh, Magikarp! [she tosses the fish into the moat at the bottom of the castle.] Swim! Swim Magikarp, Swim away!
Kristin: Catch them, you fools!
Jade: Swim! He got away! [sniff] he got away!
Kristin: Which is more than you will! Drat you and your Pokemon! You've been more trouble than you're worth. One way and another, but it'll soon be over now! [she pulls out a Pokeball hour glass] You see this? That's how much longer you've got to be alive! And it isn't long, my pretty. it isn't long. I can't wait forever to get those shoes! [leaves]
Jade: [leans over to the computer monitor, where the keyboard is absent] I'm frightened, I'm frightened, Mommy! I'm frightened!
Mommy: [from the computer monitor] Jade? Jade! Where are you? It's me, your mother! We're trying to find you! Where are you?
Jade: Drat! Where's that microphone! Oh... here it is. I-I'm here, mommy! I'm here in Bremerton! I'm locked in some bitches castle! I'm trying to get home! Oh, mommy! I'm frightened! [mom starts to fuzz out] Don't go away! I'm frightened! Come back! Come back... [Kristins face starts to appear]
Kristin: Mommy! Mommy! Come back, mommy! I'll give you your mommy, my pretty!
[outside]
Nancy: There's Magikarp! Where did he come from?
Misty: More guards! Come! We need to run through!
Nancy: Noo!
Misty: [runs into the guards and they all attack her and she dies]
Nancy: Ah! My perfect oppurtunity to get through! how ironic... two people died in Chapter 13...