First of all....pertaining to the review about heero screwing relena.....um no. I think a little more romance is needed you perv. Second of all...i can't stand writing yaoi, not that i dont like any yaoi. I do have one fav story between 1x2 and 1xR, but its not like that in this story. its more between just 1xR. Its not an entry but it does continue Heero's diary. So bear with me. I had so much trouble figuring out what person this point of view is coming from and how to write that so dont yell at me. You can tell me how to keep from screwing it up though :) pwease. hope ya like it, Love, Olly.
Disclaimer: YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! They're showing Gundam on tv again! woohoo! Now i wont have to go steal the show from bandai and sunrise and all those peoples who are so mean cause they didnt finish the damn show. hmm......o yeah....so i dont own anything in here. :(
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The Confrontation
---------------------------
"Heero?"
"Relena we need to talk."
"Look I don't know why you're following me..."
"Stop it Relena!"
"What's going on? Why are you yelling at me?"
I didn't have an answer. My heart was racing, but I had to find out what was going on, I didn't have time to calm down. "I found your note..."
She fell silent, and she turned in her seat to look out the window. She always did this to me, turn and look away, and she could never talk to me after turned away, she would just stare off somewhere else anywhere but at me. I knew this would happen, she'll want an answer from me. I don't have one. I don't know what she wants from me.
"What do you want from me?" My anger flowing through my words, and I knew they hurt her even more than what I had earlier said. I froze in my attempt to turn her to face me. I know she is crying and I did this to her. I did this to her. I'm the doing this to her. This only happens when she is around me or alone in her room.
She wipes her tears off with a napkin in her purse and is mumbling something that just comes out as whimpers. Even now, after this realization of my blind idiocy, I am even more confused than ever. "Stop the car!"
I grab her arm and pull her out of the car, maybe a little too forcefully because she stumbles a bit and I have to grab a hold of her waist to help her get control. As hasty as I'm acting, we really need to go somewhere else. Pagan keeps giving me looks from the drivers seat, and I'm afraid Milliardo will interrupt our conversation. If he calls her, she'll find that as an excuse to avoid this.
We must have been on our way to that little town in the country that she was to make a speech about agricultural benefits from the Peacecraft Industrial Institution. They were going to help develop the little town into a full out agricultural city and make it as prosperously as possible. So now, the car is parked on the side of the road, in the middle of the countryside, and its getting dark quickly.
"Where are we going?" She finally spoke up.
"Look I just need to talk a walk, it helps me calm down." I paused a minute and noticed her trying to keep up with my pace. So I slowed down. "Sorry if I hurt
your arm."
"It's fine."
So stubborn. She just won't talk about it. I'm making an effort here, and she's being difficult. "Why are you being so difficult?"
Relena stopped. She walked across a street and sat on a little bus bench in front of a crossing road. She pulled out her phone and began dialing. "No, don't...look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that."
I took her phone in my hands, set it on the floor, and sat down in the road near the bench. I was facing her, but she turned away from me again. She sniffled and then threw her purse down on the bench.
"Dammit why do you have to be so difficult?!" "I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know what I did. Tell me?"
We both sat there for a moment coming up with an anser, which was not easy since we asked the questions at the same time. I really don't know what to say. It's all on her now. She is the one that wrote the note.
"Look, just explain to me what the note was about, I don't' understand."
"Okay. In the letter...um...I...I asked you a simple question Heero!" Suddenly, her tone changed and she grew angry with me. Instead of more tears descending her cheeks, a full cherry flush rose and burned her tear streaked cheeks.
"Jesus, what do you want from me?! I told you everything in that letter, even the one thing which is something you damn well should have known by now!"
I stood there, unbelieving and studdering over my own mumbling attempts at arguing my thoughts. I went up to her and grabbed her shoulders, and she shuttered under the pressure of my hands. The words found their way out and my voice dropped to a low whisper, "So, you love me?"
"Yes." She silently snapped immediately. She was looking at the ground, again.
"Relena...love is a strong word you know." She still wouldn't look at me. "I really don't know what it feels like and..."
"Well I have a strong feeling and I know what if feels like..." I could tell she was still mad, "it hurts, really bad.", and now she must feel awful. I don't know what love feels like. I hope she's not expecting me to. I know I care for her, I care for her very deeply.
"I do care.....Relena.....I really do." Now I turned away, she wasn't listening anyway, but I was going to say what I was feeling right now. For the first time, I understood something about my emotions, and I had to tell her. "Why do you think I care for you like I do? You are my mission." I know that's not what she wants to hear right now but its what she needs to hear from me. "I don't know what love is. I know it's something intangible to me, and that's why my mission is so important. That's what I have to guide me, to live by, to live for." God, this feels wonderful, to make her understand this, to be able to understand this, and to let her know. "And if there is one thing I have learned from you it's to live for that. Not to die for my mission if it requires it, but to find a way to live. I always get back to life, because you make me want to live to get back to you."
"Oh Heero do you mean it?!" Tears slipping off her rolling down over her cheeks and one droplet hanging off her bottom lip. She turns around and turns me to face her. Oh dear god she's beautiful, she's so beautiful, I never really knew. "Please tell me you care for me, please."
"I do Relena..." Not another word was spoken. Her hand guides my cheek, and pulls me down to her mouth. I was never expecting to receive a kiss, and at first I hesitated. Then she wrapped her arms around me and I lost all thought. I swept my arms around her thin figure and pulled her closer. Her taste was so sweet I couldn't bare to let her go. She smelled like flowers, and her skin like milky silk wrapped around heat filled with passion.
When we fell out of the kiss, our hearts beating wildly, we locked eyes for what seemed like an hour. Both of us grinning and living in the bliss exerted from our presence on the side of the road. I looked up and beheld the field of flowers shining in the moon light behind her. She turned and gasped. It was a beautiful sight really. The flowers only bloomed in moonlight and only lasted until early morning sunrise.
So we began walking over to the field, hands locked, neither of us knowing what was really happening. She knelt down and grassed the flowers with her hands. A bright yellow dust floated around in the air and she sneezed. It was quite amusing to see her face wrinkle up and her nose twitch. And she just smiled and got up.
We never said another word. None were needed. I wasn't sure at all what was going on, but I said all I had to and everything was just wonderful. She was happy, and I'm not sure why, but I was too. She forgot about her purse, her phone, and apparently everything else to do with them. We walked all the way back to the car, arms wrapped around each other, in silence.
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Okee, I really need for someone to review this for me....i really cant keep writing this cause its hard for me. ive had some recent relationship probs so i would appreciate reviews or something. ill make time to write more. luv anyone that actually read my story instead of pass it by. Love, Olly.
Disclaimer: YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! They're showing Gundam on tv again! woohoo! Now i wont have to go steal the show from bandai and sunrise and all those peoples who are so mean cause they didnt finish the damn show. hmm......o yeah....so i dont own anything in here. :(
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Confrontation
---------------------------
"Heero?"
"Relena we need to talk."
"Look I don't know why you're following me..."
"Stop it Relena!"
"What's going on? Why are you yelling at me?"
I didn't have an answer. My heart was racing, but I had to find out what was going on, I didn't have time to calm down. "I found your note..."
She fell silent, and she turned in her seat to look out the window. She always did this to me, turn and look away, and she could never talk to me after turned away, she would just stare off somewhere else anywhere but at me. I knew this would happen, she'll want an answer from me. I don't have one. I don't know what she wants from me.
"What do you want from me?" My anger flowing through my words, and I knew they hurt her even more than what I had earlier said. I froze in my attempt to turn her to face me. I know she is crying and I did this to her. I did this to her. I'm the doing this to her. This only happens when she is around me or alone in her room.
She wipes her tears off with a napkin in her purse and is mumbling something that just comes out as whimpers. Even now, after this realization of my blind idiocy, I am even more confused than ever. "Stop the car!"
I grab her arm and pull her out of the car, maybe a little too forcefully because she stumbles a bit and I have to grab a hold of her waist to help her get control. As hasty as I'm acting, we really need to go somewhere else. Pagan keeps giving me looks from the drivers seat, and I'm afraid Milliardo will interrupt our conversation. If he calls her, she'll find that as an excuse to avoid this.
We must have been on our way to that little town in the country that she was to make a speech about agricultural benefits from the Peacecraft Industrial Institution. They were going to help develop the little town into a full out agricultural city and make it as prosperously as possible. So now, the car is parked on the side of the road, in the middle of the countryside, and its getting dark quickly.
"Where are we going?" She finally spoke up.
"Look I just need to talk a walk, it helps me calm down." I paused a minute and noticed her trying to keep up with my pace. So I slowed down. "Sorry if I hurt
your arm."
"It's fine."
So stubborn. She just won't talk about it. I'm making an effort here, and she's being difficult. "Why are you being so difficult?"
Relena stopped. She walked across a street and sat on a little bus bench in front of a crossing road. She pulled out her phone and began dialing. "No, don't...look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that."
I took her phone in my hands, set it on the floor, and sat down in the road near the bench. I was facing her, but she turned away from me again. She sniffled and then threw her purse down on the bench.
"Dammit why do you have to be so difficult?!" "I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know what I did. Tell me?"
We both sat there for a moment coming up with an anser, which was not easy since we asked the questions at the same time. I really don't know what to say. It's all on her now. She is the one that wrote the note.
"Look, just explain to me what the note was about, I don't' understand."
"Okay. In the letter...um...I...I asked you a simple question Heero!" Suddenly, her tone changed and she grew angry with me. Instead of more tears descending her cheeks, a full cherry flush rose and burned her tear streaked cheeks.
"Jesus, what do you want from me?! I told you everything in that letter, even the one thing which is something you damn well should have known by now!"
I stood there, unbelieving and studdering over my own mumbling attempts at arguing my thoughts. I went up to her and grabbed her shoulders, and she shuttered under the pressure of my hands. The words found their way out and my voice dropped to a low whisper, "So, you love me?"
"Yes." She silently snapped immediately. She was looking at the ground, again.
"Relena...love is a strong word you know." She still wouldn't look at me. "I really don't know what it feels like and..."
"Well I have a strong feeling and I know what if feels like..." I could tell she was still mad, "it hurts, really bad.", and now she must feel awful. I don't know what love feels like. I hope she's not expecting me to. I know I care for her, I care for her very deeply.
"I do care.....Relena.....I really do." Now I turned away, she wasn't listening anyway, but I was going to say what I was feeling right now. For the first time, I understood something about my emotions, and I had to tell her. "Why do you think I care for you like I do? You are my mission." I know that's not what she wants to hear right now but its what she needs to hear from me. "I don't know what love is. I know it's something intangible to me, and that's why my mission is so important. That's what I have to guide me, to live by, to live for." God, this feels wonderful, to make her understand this, to be able to understand this, and to let her know. "And if there is one thing I have learned from you it's to live for that. Not to die for my mission if it requires it, but to find a way to live. I always get back to life, because you make me want to live to get back to you."
"Oh Heero do you mean it?!" Tears slipping off her rolling down over her cheeks and one droplet hanging off her bottom lip. She turns around and turns me to face her. Oh dear god she's beautiful, she's so beautiful, I never really knew. "Please tell me you care for me, please."
"I do Relena..." Not another word was spoken. Her hand guides my cheek, and pulls me down to her mouth. I was never expecting to receive a kiss, and at first I hesitated. Then she wrapped her arms around me and I lost all thought. I swept my arms around her thin figure and pulled her closer. Her taste was so sweet I couldn't bare to let her go. She smelled like flowers, and her skin like milky silk wrapped around heat filled with passion.
When we fell out of the kiss, our hearts beating wildly, we locked eyes for what seemed like an hour. Both of us grinning and living in the bliss exerted from our presence on the side of the road. I looked up and beheld the field of flowers shining in the moon light behind her. She turned and gasped. It was a beautiful sight really. The flowers only bloomed in moonlight and only lasted until early morning sunrise.
So we began walking over to the field, hands locked, neither of us knowing what was really happening. She knelt down and grassed the flowers with her hands. A bright yellow dust floated around in the air and she sneezed. It was quite amusing to see her face wrinkle up and her nose twitch. And she just smiled and got up.
We never said another word. None were needed. I wasn't sure at all what was going on, but I said all I had to and everything was just wonderful. She was happy, and I'm not sure why, but I was too. She forgot about her purse, her phone, and apparently everything else to do with them. We walked all the way back to the car, arms wrapped around each other, in silence.
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Okee, I really need for someone to review this for me....i really cant keep writing this cause its hard for me. ive had some recent relationship probs so i would appreciate reviews or something. ill make time to write more. luv anyone that actually read my story instead of pass it by. Love, Olly.