Vector: A songfic oneshot.
*****
Told myself for a long time
don't go there
you will only be sorry.
Told myself so many times
I just had to take a look
in those faraway eyes
*****
Snow fell gently as a car pulled up alongside a large dome building. A large painted C could be seen clearly through the snow. The red car door opened with a click as a valet held open the door courteosly.
" Thank you."
A woman stepped gracefully out of the car, holding her father's hand who helped her out. Lacing her arm around her father's she allowed herself to be dragged up the sidewalk. When her shoes hit the brickwork of the path leading up to the building, she dropped her father's hand like a hot coal and the happy exterior disappeared.
" Pan...are you coming in?"
Pan looked at Gohan's worried eyes and turned to peek at the window. She could see the warmth of the building, the fireplace, the lights, the people. Her eyes met sky blue ones. Quickly she looked away, sticking her hands in the pockets of her grey coat and walking quickly on the grass leading to the back.
" I'll see you later dad. I think I'll spend some time alone outside. Tell mom I'm fine."
Gohan watched helplessly as his daughter walked on the grass, now covered in snow. He looked through the window to see what had scared Pan so much. He caught a blur of purple moving away from the curtain. He sighed as he walked up the steps to the front door.
Him again.
**********
Pan hurried around the side of the round building, keeping in the shadows in case someone saw her. She caught sight of a bench underneath a leafy tree. Snow blanketed the tree, hiding it's forest green leaves. She had fond memories of that tree, the rope and rubber tire was still tied to it, swinging around in the wind. Even though Bulma had invented complicated high tech toys, nothing had beat the tyre swing, which she and Bura had played on as little girls.
Flashback. Trunks pushing her and Bura on the swing.
Pan punched the tree in frustration. Why did he always have to invade her thoughts? For so long, she had scolded herself for falling in love with him. There was no way it would ever happen, no way they would ever get together...but when she had looked into his eyes...
There was nothing she could say or do. She couldn't help herself.
She brushed the snow off the wooden bench and sat down. She could see her breath in the cold air, being blown away like a cloud. Her heart constricted as she caught sight of the balcony on the 3rd floor of the building.
She closed her eyes, hoping to prevent any tears from falling. Her mind wandered back to that night when...
He'd kissed her.
Her memory...
*****
And in them I saw longing
for something
maybe i couldn't give you.
Said " its all in my mind".
It meant nothing.
*****
She breathed in the cold air as she stepped between the sliding doors to watch the full moon in the sky. The wind gently blew her hair back, making it seem like silk. She felt hot breath on her neck, making her turn around to stare into his blue eyes. A look of hunger and longing.
She sucked in a fast breath in surprise as Trunks moved to kiss her. His strong arms around her, protecting her from the cold. His warm lips exploring hers. When it ended, she backed up against the cool metal fence. Her fingers touched her bruised lips. This was where the passion had taken them.
No...this isn't happening. He's too old for me...it'll never work. It's all in my mind...it didn't mean anything.
Pan's fingers now gripped the top of the fence, staring at Trunks in shock. When his outstretched arms came for her she jumped off the balcony, taking off into the night.
*****
Don't say that, don't say that.
Darling no
don't say anything at all.
Because i see it now
can't pretend anymore.
It ain't nothing
Do you know what I mean?
And have you seen it too?
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know?
And I'll do anything
Just tell me what it means.
Cause I can't live in doubt anymore.
Do we try or should we
just say goodbye?
*****
She shivered as she stuck her hands in her pockets to search for more warmth. Underneath her coat was a simple silk party dress obviously not designed for snowy weather. She looked up from her lap and stared inside the window. She could see people mingling together, talking a laughing. It looked so warm inside. But then she realised who was in there, who she had to face.
He would say that it would never work. Too much age difference. Too risky for their family's sake. Too much to risk their friendship over her crush.
Tears fell unendingly. She didn't want to pretend anymore. It had been a month since the last time she'd...
Seen him...
Talked to him...
Kissed him.
Pan clenched her fists inside her coat pockets as she screamed inside.
I want to know...I don't want to pretend anymore.
Her weeping turned into full fledged sobs as she cried. She folded her legs against her chest as she rocked herself back and forth in an effort to comfort and calm herself before anyone noticed her.
Then she felt a warm hand stroke her hair, brushing the melting snow flakes off her head and enveloping her in a warm hug.
" shh...don't cry Panny. It's alright..."
Pan quickly broke out of the embrace at the sound of the husky male voice. She scooted to the other end of the bench leaving the purple haired boy looking rather bewildered.
" Whats the matter? Did someone hurt you? What would make you cry like that? That's not the Pan I know."
Don't say that. Don't pretend you don't know. Please...
" I'm fine."
Despite what her heart was yelling, Pan turned away, dragging her coat sleeve across her eyes to dry her tears. Trunks got up and sat closer to her. Pan moved further down in an effort to get away from him and hide her red eyes.
" Pan whats wrong? Please don't try to escape me. I want to know what I did wrong. What did I do to hurt you?"
Anger spilled over at Trunks' obliviousness.
" As if you don't know."
Trunks' shoulders visably slumped. He got up to kneel in front of Pan, taking her hand in his own, his eyes widening at the coolness of her skin.
" Pan...I apologize for taking you by surprise that night. I really am. But I'm not sorry I kissed you."
Pan pulled her hand away and held her head in her hands.
" You don't understand Trunks. I'm afraid of what might happen if..."
" what? You can tell me."
" What would happen to us? What about our families? I don't want anything wrong to happen. I'm afraid I'll lose you."
" You'll never lose me. We're friends forever."
" But you don't know that! Don't you see? I couldn't take that...but I don't want to give this up either. I'm so tired Trunks. I can't think anymore...Do we try...or should we say goodbye?"
Pan lifted her head to stare into his eyes.
He was speechless, he didn't know what to say.
*****
If you'd rather be somewhere
that's not here,
then you just gotta tell me.
Cause there's so much more to life
then pretending.
Don't you know, don't you know.
Darling for you,
I'd do anything at all.
I wanna be with you
but that look in your eyes
tells me something.
Do you know what I mean?
And have you seen it too?
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know?
And i'd do anything
just tell me what it means
cause i can't live in doubt anymore.
Do we try or should we
just say goodbye?
*****
Pan touched him on the shoulder. His silence had answered her question.
" Go back inside Trunks. I'm sure some girl is looking for you. You don't want to disappoint her right? I'm sure you'll be much happier inside...it's too cold out here."
" ...you'll be cold too."
" I'll be fine. Go on. I want to stop pretending that theres something between us. It'll be better that you leave me alone for awhile."
Trunks gave her a blank look, no knowing what to think or say to that. He let her push him back towards the house. He was so shocked, the only thing that registered in his mind was his legs moving automatically in their usual stride.
Pan watched him walk away, the tears coming once again. She had hoped that he would have chosen to be with her. But his silence and blank countenance had said it all. She would have done anything for him...but it was his choice. Not hers. She had gotten what she wanted. They had said goodbye.
This time, she made no attempt to stop the tears. She stood up and prepared to blast off into the sky.
I guess I won't be staying for the party after all.
A hand reached up to prevent her from flying away. She whirled around to see Trunks holding onto her coat sleeve.
" Don't..Don't leave."
" I want to be alone right now."
Trunks' arms snaked inbetween her arms to hold her at the waist to prevent her escape.
" Listen to me first."
" Let me go."
Pan powered up, blasting him off with a flux of ki energy. However he grabbed her coat collar. Desperate to get away, she yanked her coat off, flying off into the sky. The chilly wind now made direct contact with her skin. The thin straps of the long blue silk dress did nothing to keep her arms warm. She ignored the cold air as she tried to fly away.
" Damnit Trunks! Let me go!"
The wheels of her mind turned quickly as she thought about why Trunks would keep her here.
*****
I wanna know. Can you tell me?
I wanna know. Will you tell me?
Is it hello, is it goodbye?
I gotta know. Won't you tell me?
I gotta know. You can tell me.
Is it hello or just goodbye?
*****
Trunks grabbed hold of her again, this time holding her close. His hair tangled in hers as his body heat made her feel warm.
" I don't want you to go. Stay with me."
Strands of lavender hair brushed against her forehead as his lips met hers in a possessive kiss. Time stopped at that moment until they broke for air. Trunks wiped Pan's tears away with his thumb, caressing her cheek.
" Why are you telling me this?"
Trunks let out a heartbreaking smile.
" I want to be with you. I need you."
" You don't mean that...do you?"
Trunks chuckled and held her close, letting Pan place her head on his shoulder as they stood in the snow.
" Of course I do. I love you...I'll do anything to make you mine."
Pan broke into a happy smile, hugging Trunks tightly and kissing him once again.
" I'm yours."
" Then will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"
Pan gasped and slugged him playfully on the shoulder.
" Quit joking around like that. Our parents would never stand for it."
Trunks eyes twinkled mischeaviously as he leaned down close.
" Who said that had to know?"
His lips moving at his words tickled her ear before meeting her lips in another kiss.
***********************************
Owari ( the end in Japanese!)
***********************************
Song used: ( as indicated in the title of course!) Vector. One of the songs in Escaflowne in the Yubiwa single. Sung by Maaya Sakamoto!
Author's notes: Forgive me it's kinda late. I'm kinda tired from my exams. I'm tired from studying for my next exams...this was my break! I love this song ^_^ except it was kinda hard to work out what she was saying. Heavy accent at times so if some of the lyrics are a bit iffy...tell me! R&R pleaseee!