Title: Spellbound 4/8
Author: Hayley
email: Lamb@traverse.com
Summary: Giles' visit to Los Angeles has interesting consequences.
Rating: R-some naughty language, and some nudity. . . .all the good things in life.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All the toys you see before you have been borrowed from the all mighty Joss.I just take them out and play with them. *yay me* Don't sue.
Feedback: Oh pretty please? Have you hugged your author today?
Distribution: You may put it wherever you desire and I'll be thrilled about it. Just let me know where so I can send all my friends there to check it out.
Spoilers: Most of Angel, and some of Buffy. . . . nothing too specific or earth shattering.
*~*~*~*~*
Cordelia's Apartment
"And this is the demon database that Harry and I have been working on. It's not quite complete yet, but every time we run into a demon I make sure to classify it and enter it in."
"Incredible."
"Well for a guy who thinks that computers are a passing fad, you seem pretty impressed."
"And this 'Harry' person was your friend Doyle's ex-wife? Doyle was the one that gave you the visions?"
"Yeah. . . ." Cordelia frowned. "It's not going to be that easy Giles. I don't want to talk about the visions and you can't make me."
"Fine. I don't want to know about the visions. I want to know how it is that you pick up a phone before it rings. And please. . . " Giles held up a hand and used his most stern expression. "Please don't try and pass it off as coincidence."
Slamming down the top of the computer Cordelia glared at Giles. She could feel a cool breeze of air brush her cheek. "I'm calm Dennis. I'm very very calm."
Giles had almost forgotten about the ghostly presence in the time he'd been in Cordelia's apartment.
"Look Giles. I know you can't help it. You're curious. But I'm not some psychic science experiment. I used to be the normal one. I ENJOYED being the normal one. There was the witch, the wolf, the Slayer, the Watcher, and God knows that Xander's anything but normal. . . .then *POOF* Doyle's gone and I've got these visions. . .then the rest of it came and I hate it!"
"I'm sorry Cordelia . . .I didn't mean to be insensitive." He rubbed his hands over his face wearily. "And contrary to popular belief a Watcher is hardly endowed with any super powers."
"I don't know, I always thought that all the tweed was just a cover for a pair of tights and a cape."
"We are issued the cape, but the tights are optional." Giles replied. "I don't suppose that I might persuade you to allow me to use that infernal machine and make inquiries about Ethan to some mutual friends of ours."
"I thought that Egyhon killed all your mutual friends?"
Giles' jaw only tightened in response.
"Oops. Sorry about that." Cordelia waved her hand expansively. "Sure. You do know how to use one don't you?"
"I've got a vague idea."
"Well then, I'll leave you to it. I'm exhausted." She turned away from the table to find Dennis floating a couple pillows and blankets in front of the sofa. "Aww! Thanks Dennis!" She watched in satisfaction as her roomate carefully made up a comfortable bed on the sofa.
Giles was so intent on sending out his inquiries he was surprised when a fresh cup of tea replaced the cup cooling at his side. "Oh! Yes! Thank you Dennis." Cordelia's ghostly roomate was an excellent host. Taking a sip of the tea, Giles smiled at the hint of whiskey in it. "Good man Dennis."
Cordelia emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam dressed in a pair of boxer shorts and T-shirt, her wet hair wrapped in a towel. Padding in barefeet to the cupboards on the far side of the livingroom she revealed an impressive library of books. Finally selecting a book of poems, Cordelia turned and surveyed her livingroom. Giles seated at the kitchen table with his glasses on, and intently glaring at the computer screen with a cup of tea in his hand.
It felt suddenly very safe. Since the incident with Wilson Christopher she hadn't felt safe in her own home. She'd thrown away all the bedding, and carefully removed any trace of that evening from the apartment, but nothing could erase the memories from her mind. Somehow, having Giles here counteracted the insidious darkness.
hr
3:00 am.
Giles jerked awake after a particularly erotic dream, only to find Cordelia curled in a chair next to the sofa. "Cordelia?" He fumbled for his glasses and the switch for the lamp. "Are you feeling unwell?"
"I'm fine. I haven't slept in there in a while." She nodded in the direction of her bedroom. "Guess I'm not used to it." She toyed with the edge of her blanket. "Why don't you take the bed? I'm shorter, I'll fit better on the couch anyway." She suggested.
"I can't kick you out of your room. . . ." Giles' expression was troubled. "Is there something you need to talk about Cordelia? Because I assure you, whatever you tell me is safe, and will stay strictly between us."
Climbing out of the chair, Cordelia moved and dropped down onto the sofa, barely giving Giles time to move his legs. "I can't sleep there anyway Giles." She took a deep breath. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up the same way again. . . ."
Not knowing the details, Giles carefully placed an arm around Cordelia's shoulders, and pulled her against the soft cotton of his nightshirt. "You know, after I found Jenny, even after I got rid of the bed, I couldn't bring myself to go into my bedroom for months. During the daylight I was able to convince myself there was nothing wrong with the room. But at night . . .at night it was far too painful."
"I got rid of the bedspread, and the sheets. . . I can't afford a new bed, but I don't think it will make a difference anyway." Cordelia said flatly. Unconsciously she curled closer to Giles' solid body, drawing warmth from him. "Right after Doyle died I met this man at a party. A photographer named Wilson." She sighed. "I don't know. Maybe I was trying too hard to have a normal life, but he was funny, and sweet, and maybe he reminded me a little of Xander." Closing her eyes Cordelia frowned. "And he was actually interested in me. It was like he knew me. Anyway, he brought me home, and I should have listened to Dennis. Dennis didn't like him from the beginning."
Giles said nothing, merely bracing himself for what he knew had to be a terrible ending.
"The next morning. . . it was like coming into a horror movie halfway through." She shuddered and placed both hands over her flat stomach. "I was nine months pregnant." A harsh forgery of a laugh escaped from her lips. "It was my turn to figure out the 'Girl from Sunnydale' lesson. Sex is bad."
Giles' hold on her increased.
"There were seven babies. . . .NO. There were seven demons. They weren't babies. And they weren't mine. A Hacksaw demon gave these guys fame and fortune in return for getting girls with no family pregnant so he could raise an army."
"My God. You mean they KNEW?"
"Yeah, but it was worth it, cause they got really nice cars out of the deal right?" Cordelia's laugh was bitter. "And the worst thing was that I could HEAR them inside of me. Cause the first thing I wanted to do when I woke up was to throw myself down a few flights of stairs, or drink gasoline. . .but I couldn't. I could hear them. . ."
"Them?"
"Wesley took me to the doctors and they counted seven fetuses."
"SEVEN?!"
"I was huge." Cordelia shrugged.
"What happened?"
"Wesley and Angel used liquid nitrogen to freeze the demon which killed the fetuses in the womb the dumb ex-cheerleader who should have known better built." Cordelia rattled off with a humor she most definately wasn't feeling. Afterward, Angel offered me as much time as I needed. I don't know what he thought I'd do with it. Sit here and brood? That's really his trademark, not mine. And most of the time I'm fine. . .I mean I even occasionally go on dates, but they have to pick me up at the office which is enough to scare off any but the innocent. It's not easy explaining to a date why I'm attached at the hip to two good looking guys who are always at my place or visa versa."
"Yes, I understand that it's not easy explaining this particular way of life. For years I have had to have some semi-logical explanation for the fact that a forty-five year old ex-librarian has a troop of teenagers marching in and out of his apartment late at night." Giles answered.
"Oh man. . . .I never thought about it that way. What *do* you tell people?"
"Absolutely nothing. I stopped explaining myself long ago."
"It kind of made sense when you worked in the library, but now. . . ."
"Well that is about to be changed. I've accepted a position at the Sunnydale museum." Giles informed her, noticing her drooping eyelids.
Cordelia's head rested against his shoulder, Giles began to explain very carefully and in great detail his duties and new responsibilities at the Sunnydale Historical Museum, and soon, she was sleeping soundly.
hr
Sunnydale Historical Museum (The Next Day)
"Nice place you have here Giles. . . .was the roof taken?" Xander quipped.
"I don't know, I kind of like it. It reminds me of the library at school." Willow mused exploring the vast abandoned museum basement with great interest.
"It may not be cosmetic, but it is functional." Giles said from inside his office. "I'm the only person down here and there are several ways in and out that no one owuld know about unless they'd seen the building plans from 50 years ago."
"I've lost all respect for this hallowed institution. Don't they know that you're the Sunnydale version of the Unabomber?" Xander called from behind a heavy metal bookshelf.
"Xander, try not to touch anything." Giles winced as a book teetered on the edge of the case.
"Yep, I think I could like it here." Buffy stretched out on Giles' leather sofa. "Nice and comfy." She folded her hands on her stomach and smiled up at her Watcher. "So how goes things in L.A?"
Giles was spared from answering by the ringing of his cellular phone. "Hullo?"
"Hey there stranger." Cordelia chirped.
"Well yes. Hello there." Giles covered his smile with his hand.
"I'm just gonna guess that all the Scooby Gang is there right now wondering who would call you on your cell phone."
"That sums it up quite nicely I'd say." Giles answered non-commitally.
"So I could say just about anything to you right now and you couldn't do anything about it except smile and nod?"
Giles could almost see the slow cheshire grin spreading across her face. "That really depends on what sort of reaction you're looking for. And you will keep in mind that every action has an equal and opposite reaction won't you?"
"So I shouldn't thank you for my new bed?"
"I hope that you will accept it in the spirit in which it was offered." Giles responded.
"Oh? Does that mean you don't want to sleep with me?"
Feeling several pairs of curious eyes on his face, Giles cursed the spreading warmth creeping over his face. "Th-th-that is not what I. . . . ."
"So you DO want to sleep with me!"
Giles buried his face in his hand. "There is no bloody way that I am going to come out ahead in this conversation is there?"
"Probably not." There was a soft sigh on the other end of the phone. "It's only fair. You're here for just a couple days and my whole life gets turned upside down."
"Yes. I'm well aware of that. . . .I had no intention. . . ."
"And the worst part is, I don't even mind it that much. Except for the icky fever, and the gross tea, and the missing you part."
Stunned, Giles was silent for a moment. The truth was that he missed her as well. Before Ethan's spell the feeling was less potent. Just a vague feeling that someone was missing from their tight-knit little group. But that feeling had blossomed since the spell into a genuine loneliness for her company.
"Anyway. . .since you're not here, I have to make myself feel better somehow. . .and tormenting you is more fun than playing computer solitaire." Cordelia continued. "Now you mentioned something about 'coming' and a certain head?" Hearing Giles' groan, Cordelia continued. "You know, I had a job offer today. . . "
"Is that so?" Hoping for a change in conversation, Giles latched onto the idea of her work.
"Yes. A club owner offered to let me dance in his private club. . . ."
Instantly Giles snapped to attention. "HE WHAT?!"
"Yeah. He said I could be taking home $1,500 a week *easy* what with tips and all. More if I'm willing to do private parties. . ..he's also got his own film studio."
Teeth gritted, Giles ennunciated each word carefully. "I'm going to say this once. And once only. You might wish to write this down.Got a pen and paper?" He paused. "Good. Now I want you to tell him to 'sod off' immediately after you call him a 'pillocky good for nothing.' Got that? And then I want you to apply your knee to whatever part of his anatomy is closest." Warm, rich laughter flooded the phone lines. "You were toying with me weren't you?"
"Sod off yourself mate! Spike bellowed from the other room. "I'd pay the chit good money to strip down to her Victoria's Secret!"
When Giles looked across the basement he spotted Spike waving a phone at him.
"SPIKE is there? Spike is listening in on your phone calls?" Cordelia shrieked. "What the hell is wrong with you Sunnydale people? Why don't you stake him and send me the dust?"
"Now. . . .Spike's had a change . . . ."
"Unless it involved a frontal lobotomy I don't want to hear it!"
"Close enough. Spike can't bite, and he can't hurt any living thing." Giles attempted to explain. "He's something of an ally."
"And you Giles are something of a moron if you think he can be trusted!"
"Ooh. . . .give it to him Luv. . .I can't resist a mean woman." Spike purred.
"GET OFF THE LINE!" Giles bellowed.
"Fine. . . .just one question first though Ducks. . . .does the old guy make you wear the cheerleader uniform to get it up?"
"Tell that no-biting, Dru losing, Billy Idol worshipping, WUSSY that if I ever see him again I'm going to . . . . "
Giles pulled the phone away from his ear, and winced at the mental picture Cordelia was painting. The vivid, vicious, revolting mental image she was painting.
"Ooh." Spike returned. "Tell me more. . .you know ducks you could run a phone sex line for vamps. . .you sexy little thing you." At Giles' withering glare Spike shrugged. "What? Vamps like it a little on the rough side." Still purring Spike settled himself into a chair. "Cor. . . you should forget the stage, get a whip a pair of handcuffs and a leather cat suit and you'd make more money than you can imagine as a vampire dominatrix. . .people pay good money for what you're dishing out."
"How much?"
Flabbergasted Giles butt in. "THAT'S ENOUGH!!!! Both of you! Spike hang up the damn phone!"
"That's okay you wanker. . . I have the girl's number in my head. I'll just give her a call later. A little practice and she might be as good as Dru."
"Buffy, if Spike isn't out of the building in ten seconds you have my permission to stake him." Giles instructed. "Feel free to start counting at seven."
"Hey hey hey now!" Spike backed away from a determined looking Buffy. "I would have thought gettin' some would turn him into less of a wanker! Especially a pretty little young and tasty piece of fluff like that cheerleader!"
"Nine. . . ." Giles snarled before storming into his office and slamming the door. He could hear Cordelia's laughter on the other end. "You're damned impossible!"
"I'm very possible, you're just fighting too hard."
All laughter forgotten, Giles could practically feel her warm breath on her skin as she whispered in his ear. "One of us has to be responsible in all this. . . ."
"Fine. Then we have safe sex."
Giles sank down onto his sofa with a heartfelt groan. "Cordelia. . . ."
"Just hearing you say my name like that sends shivers up my spine. It makes me want to hear you call me that when there's nothing but thin air between our bodies . . . ." She paused, drawing in a steadying breath. "I've thought about this Giles. And I don't care *how* it started."
"You would luv. You would care very much when the spell is broken and you see me as just another bastard who's taken advantage of you." He leaned back into the sofa and closed his eyes. "Once the spell is broken. . . ."
"I can go back to having jerks take me out and expect a quick fuck cause I'm young, and pretty, so I must be dumb. And you can go back to not getting any and not having any life outside of being an ex-watcher. Forgive me if that's not a lot to look forward to."
"Cordelia. . . ."
"No. That's okay. I get it Giles. You like your life the way it is. The only way you could ever want me is because of Ethan Rayne's stupid spell. . . .you may now return to your regularly scheduled life."
"Bloody Hell!" Giles cursed venomously, not sure whether it was at himself for being so stupid, or Cordelia for being so obstinate. Yanking open the office door, he was confronted by several pairs of curious eyes.
hr
Author: Hayley
email: Lamb@traverse.com
Summary: Giles' visit to Los Angeles has interesting consequences.
Rating: R-some naughty language, and some nudity. . . .all the good things in life.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All the toys you see before you have been borrowed from the all mighty Joss.I just take them out and play with them. *yay me* Don't sue.
Feedback: Oh pretty please? Have you hugged your author today?
Distribution: You may put it wherever you desire and I'll be thrilled about it. Just let me know where so I can send all my friends there to check it out.
Spoilers: Most of Angel, and some of Buffy. . . . nothing too specific or earth shattering.
*~*~*~*~*
Cordelia's Apartment
"And this is the demon database that Harry and I have been working on. It's not quite complete yet, but every time we run into a demon I make sure to classify it and enter it in."
"Incredible."
"Well for a guy who thinks that computers are a passing fad, you seem pretty impressed."
"And this 'Harry' person was your friend Doyle's ex-wife? Doyle was the one that gave you the visions?"
"Yeah. . . ." Cordelia frowned. "It's not going to be that easy Giles. I don't want to talk about the visions and you can't make me."
"Fine. I don't want to know about the visions. I want to know how it is that you pick up a phone before it rings. And please. . . " Giles held up a hand and used his most stern expression. "Please don't try and pass it off as coincidence."
Slamming down the top of the computer Cordelia glared at Giles. She could feel a cool breeze of air brush her cheek. "I'm calm Dennis. I'm very very calm."
Giles had almost forgotten about the ghostly presence in the time he'd been in Cordelia's apartment.
"Look Giles. I know you can't help it. You're curious. But I'm not some psychic science experiment. I used to be the normal one. I ENJOYED being the normal one. There was the witch, the wolf, the Slayer, the Watcher, and God knows that Xander's anything but normal. . . .then *POOF* Doyle's gone and I've got these visions. . .then the rest of it came and I hate it!"
"I'm sorry Cordelia . . .I didn't mean to be insensitive." He rubbed his hands over his face wearily. "And contrary to popular belief a Watcher is hardly endowed with any super powers."
"I don't know, I always thought that all the tweed was just a cover for a pair of tights and a cape."
"We are issued the cape, but the tights are optional." Giles replied. "I don't suppose that I might persuade you to allow me to use that infernal machine and make inquiries about Ethan to some mutual friends of ours."
"I thought that Egyhon killed all your mutual friends?"
Giles' jaw only tightened in response.
"Oops. Sorry about that." Cordelia waved her hand expansively. "Sure. You do know how to use one don't you?"
"I've got a vague idea."
"Well then, I'll leave you to it. I'm exhausted." She turned away from the table to find Dennis floating a couple pillows and blankets in front of the sofa. "Aww! Thanks Dennis!" She watched in satisfaction as her roomate carefully made up a comfortable bed on the sofa.
Giles was so intent on sending out his inquiries he was surprised when a fresh cup of tea replaced the cup cooling at his side. "Oh! Yes! Thank you Dennis." Cordelia's ghostly roomate was an excellent host. Taking a sip of the tea, Giles smiled at the hint of whiskey in it. "Good man Dennis."
Cordelia emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam dressed in a pair of boxer shorts and T-shirt, her wet hair wrapped in a towel. Padding in barefeet to the cupboards on the far side of the livingroom she revealed an impressive library of books. Finally selecting a book of poems, Cordelia turned and surveyed her livingroom. Giles seated at the kitchen table with his glasses on, and intently glaring at the computer screen with a cup of tea in his hand.
It felt suddenly very safe. Since the incident with Wilson Christopher she hadn't felt safe in her own home. She'd thrown away all the bedding, and carefully removed any trace of that evening from the apartment, but nothing could erase the memories from her mind. Somehow, having Giles here counteracted the insidious darkness.
hr
3:00 am.
Giles jerked awake after a particularly erotic dream, only to find Cordelia curled in a chair next to the sofa. "Cordelia?" He fumbled for his glasses and the switch for the lamp. "Are you feeling unwell?"
"I'm fine. I haven't slept in there in a while." She nodded in the direction of her bedroom. "Guess I'm not used to it." She toyed with the edge of her blanket. "Why don't you take the bed? I'm shorter, I'll fit better on the couch anyway." She suggested.
"I can't kick you out of your room. . . ." Giles' expression was troubled. "Is there something you need to talk about Cordelia? Because I assure you, whatever you tell me is safe, and will stay strictly between us."
Climbing out of the chair, Cordelia moved and dropped down onto the sofa, barely giving Giles time to move his legs. "I can't sleep there anyway Giles." She took a deep breath. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up the same way again. . . ."
Not knowing the details, Giles carefully placed an arm around Cordelia's shoulders, and pulled her against the soft cotton of his nightshirt. "You know, after I found Jenny, even after I got rid of the bed, I couldn't bring myself to go into my bedroom for months. During the daylight I was able to convince myself there was nothing wrong with the room. But at night . . .at night it was far too painful."
"I got rid of the bedspread, and the sheets. . . I can't afford a new bed, but I don't think it will make a difference anyway." Cordelia said flatly. Unconsciously she curled closer to Giles' solid body, drawing warmth from him. "Right after Doyle died I met this man at a party. A photographer named Wilson." She sighed. "I don't know. Maybe I was trying too hard to have a normal life, but he was funny, and sweet, and maybe he reminded me a little of Xander." Closing her eyes Cordelia frowned. "And he was actually interested in me. It was like he knew me. Anyway, he brought me home, and I should have listened to Dennis. Dennis didn't like him from the beginning."
Giles said nothing, merely bracing himself for what he knew had to be a terrible ending.
"The next morning. . . it was like coming into a horror movie halfway through." She shuddered and placed both hands over her flat stomach. "I was nine months pregnant." A harsh forgery of a laugh escaped from her lips. "It was my turn to figure out the 'Girl from Sunnydale' lesson. Sex is bad."
Giles' hold on her increased.
"There were seven babies. . . .NO. There were seven demons. They weren't babies. And they weren't mine. A Hacksaw demon gave these guys fame and fortune in return for getting girls with no family pregnant so he could raise an army."
"My God. You mean they KNEW?"
"Yeah, but it was worth it, cause they got really nice cars out of the deal right?" Cordelia's laugh was bitter. "And the worst thing was that I could HEAR them inside of me. Cause the first thing I wanted to do when I woke up was to throw myself down a few flights of stairs, or drink gasoline. . .but I couldn't. I could hear them. . ."
"Them?"
"Wesley took me to the doctors and they counted seven fetuses."
"SEVEN?!"
"I was huge." Cordelia shrugged.
"What happened?"
"Wesley and Angel used liquid nitrogen to freeze the demon which killed the fetuses in the womb the dumb ex-cheerleader who should have known better built." Cordelia rattled off with a humor she most definately wasn't feeling. Afterward, Angel offered me as much time as I needed. I don't know what he thought I'd do with it. Sit here and brood? That's really his trademark, not mine. And most of the time I'm fine. . .I mean I even occasionally go on dates, but they have to pick me up at the office which is enough to scare off any but the innocent. It's not easy explaining to a date why I'm attached at the hip to two good looking guys who are always at my place or visa versa."
"Yes, I understand that it's not easy explaining this particular way of life. For years I have had to have some semi-logical explanation for the fact that a forty-five year old ex-librarian has a troop of teenagers marching in and out of his apartment late at night." Giles answered.
"Oh man. . . .I never thought about it that way. What *do* you tell people?"
"Absolutely nothing. I stopped explaining myself long ago."
"It kind of made sense when you worked in the library, but now. . . ."
"Well that is about to be changed. I've accepted a position at the Sunnydale museum." Giles informed her, noticing her drooping eyelids.
Cordelia's head rested against his shoulder, Giles began to explain very carefully and in great detail his duties and new responsibilities at the Sunnydale Historical Museum, and soon, she was sleeping soundly.
hr
Sunnydale Historical Museum (The Next Day)
"Nice place you have here Giles. . . .was the roof taken?" Xander quipped.
"I don't know, I kind of like it. It reminds me of the library at school." Willow mused exploring the vast abandoned museum basement with great interest.
"It may not be cosmetic, but it is functional." Giles said from inside his office. "I'm the only person down here and there are several ways in and out that no one owuld know about unless they'd seen the building plans from 50 years ago."
"I've lost all respect for this hallowed institution. Don't they know that you're the Sunnydale version of the Unabomber?" Xander called from behind a heavy metal bookshelf.
"Xander, try not to touch anything." Giles winced as a book teetered on the edge of the case.
"Yep, I think I could like it here." Buffy stretched out on Giles' leather sofa. "Nice and comfy." She folded her hands on her stomach and smiled up at her Watcher. "So how goes things in L.A?"
Giles was spared from answering by the ringing of his cellular phone. "Hullo?"
"Hey there stranger." Cordelia chirped.
"Well yes. Hello there." Giles covered his smile with his hand.
"I'm just gonna guess that all the Scooby Gang is there right now wondering who would call you on your cell phone."
"That sums it up quite nicely I'd say." Giles answered non-commitally.
"So I could say just about anything to you right now and you couldn't do anything about it except smile and nod?"
Giles could almost see the slow cheshire grin spreading across her face. "That really depends on what sort of reaction you're looking for. And you will keep in mind that every action has an equal and opposite reaction won't you?"
"So I shouldn't thank you for my new bed?"
"I hope that you will accept it in the spirit in which it was offered." Giles responded.
"Oh? Does that mean you don't want to sleep with me?"
Feeling several pairs of curious eyes on his face, Giles cursed the spreading warmth creeping over his face. "Th-th-that is not what I. . . . ."
"So you DO want to sleep with me!"
Giles buried his face in his hand. "There is no bloody way that I am going to come out ahead in this conversation is there?"
"Probably not." There was a soft sigh on the other end of the phone. "It's only fair. You're here for just a couple days and my whole life gets turned upside down."
"Yes. I'm well aware of that. . . .I had no intention. . . ."
"And the worst part is, I don't even mind it that much. Except for the icky fever, and the gross tea, and the missing you part."
Stunned, Giles was silent for a moment. The truth was that he missed her as well. Before Ethan's spell the feeling was less potent. Just a vague feeling that someone was missing from their tight-knit little group. But that feeling had blossomed since the spell into a genuine loneliness for her company.
"Anyway. . .since you're not here, I have to make myself feel better somehow. . .and tormenting you is more fun than playing computer solitaire." Cordelia continued. "Now you mentioned something about 'coming' and a certain head?" Hearing Giles' groan, Cordelia continued. "You know, I had a job offer today. . . "
"Is that so?" Hoping for a change in conversation, Giles latched onto the idea of her work.
"Yes. A club owner offered to let me dance in his private club. . . ."
Instantly Giles snapped to attention. "HE WHAT?!"
"Yeah. He said I could be taking home $1,500 a week *easy* what with tips and all. More if I'm willing to do private parties. . ..he's also got his own film studio."
Teeth gritted, Giles ennunciated each word carefully. "I'm going to say this once. And once only. You might wish to write this down.Got a pen and paper?" He paused. "Good. Now I want you to tell him to 'sod off' immediately after you call him a 'pillocky good for nothing.' Got that? And then I want you to apply your knee to whatever part of his anatomy is closest." Warm, rich laughter flooded the phone lines. "You were toying with me weren't you?"
"Sod off yourself mate! Spike bellowed from the other room. "I'd pay the chit good money to strip down to her Victoria's Secret!"
When Giles looked across the basement he spotted Spike waving a phone at him.
"SPIKE is there? Spike is listening in on your phone calls?" Cordelia shrieked. "What the hell is wrong with you Sunnydale people? Why don't you stake him and send me the dust?"
"Now. . . .Spike's had a change . . . ."
"Unless it involved a frontal lobotomy I don't want to hear it!"
"Close enough. Spike can't bite, and he can't hurt any living thing." Giles attempted to explain. "He's something of an ally."
"And you Giles are something of a moron if you think he can be trusted!"
"Ooh. . . .give it to him Luv. . .I can't resist a mean woman." Spike purred.
"GET OFF THE LINE!" Giles bellowed.
"Fine. . . .just one question first though Ducks. . . .does the old guy make you wear the cheerleader uniform to get it up?"
"Tell that no-biting, Dru losing, Billy Idol worshipping, WUSSY that if I ever see him again I'm going to . . . . "
Giles pulled the phone away from his ear, and winced at the mental picture Cordelia was painting. The vivid, vicious, revolting mental image she was painting.
"Ooh." Spike returned. "Tell me more. . .you know ducks you could run a phone sex line for vamps. . .you sexy little thing you." At Giles' withering glare Spike shrugged. "What? Vamps like it a little on the rough side." Still purring Spike settled himself into a chair. "Cor. . . you should forget the stage, get a whip a pair of handcuffs and a leather cat suit and you'd make more money than you can imagine as a vampire dominatrix. . .people pay good money for what you're dishing out."
"How much?"
Flabbergasted Giles butt in. "THAT'S ENOUGH!!!! Both of you! Spike hang up the damn phone!"
"That's okay you wanker. . . I have the girl's number in my head. I'll just give her a call later. A little practice and she might be as good as Dru."
"Buffy, if Spike isn't out of the building in ten seconds you have my permission to stake him." Giles instructed. "Feel free to start counting at seven."
"Hey hey hey now!" Spike backed away from a determined looking Buffy. "I would have thought gettin' some would turn him into less of a wanker! Especially a pretty little young and tasty piece of fluff like that cheerleader!"
"Nine. . . ." Giles snarled before storming into his office and slamming the door. He could hear Cordelia's laughter on the other end. "You're damned impossible!"
"I'm very possible, you're just fighting too hard."
All laughter forgotten, Giles could practically feel her warm breath on her skin as she whispered in his ear. "One of us has to be responsible in all this. . . ."
"Fine. Then we have safe sex."
Giles sank down onto his sofa with a heartfelt groan. "Cordelia. . . ."
"Just hearing you say my name like that sends shivers up my spine. It makes me want to hear you call me that when there's nothing but thin air between our bodies . . . ." She paused, drawing in a steadying breath. "I've thought about this Giles. And I don't care *how* it started."
"You would luv. You would care very much when the spell is broken and you see me as just another bastard who's taken advantage of you." He leaned back into the sofa and closed his eyes. "Once the spell is broken. . . ."
"I can go back to having jerks take me out and expect a quick fuck cause I'm young, and pretty, so I must be dumb. And you can go back to not getting any and not having any life outside of being an ex-watcher. Forgive me if that's not a lot to look forward to."
"Cordelia. . . ."
"No. That's okay. I get it Giles. You like your life the way it is. The only way you could ever want me is because of Ethan Rayne's stupid spell. . . .you may now return to your regularly scheduled life."
"Bloody Hell!" Giles cursed venomously, not sure whether it was at himself for being so stupid, or Cordelia for being so obstinate. Yanking open the office door, he was confronted by several pairs of curious eyes.
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