Name:
Carnival Night
Couples:
2+3
Time:
Episode 36 though I rewrote a bit (understatement)
Rating:
PG (mild curses)
Warning:
Shounen-ai, curses
Key:
*Thought*
~(-Point
of View-)~
~Time~
Disclaimer:
I
don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. Don't sue me, I'm poor.
Carnival Night
~III~ Chapter Three ~III~
~(-Trowa-)~
We're
walking back to the main part of the circus. The crowds are thinning. A light
but cold breeze is picking up, and I'm regretting not getting a jacket.
"It's
nice here," Duo says. "You're lucky, getting to live at a circus and all, I'd
kill to live here"
I
shake my head.
"It's
hard work" I say. "And I don't think the trailer I have to share with my sister
is something you would want to kill for"
Duo
laughs.
"Yeah"
he says. "I think I'll pass"
Silence
settles over us again. He's gotten quieter since when he first came, and he
doesn't seem as...fake.
"It's
getting late" he says reluctantly.
"Yes
it is, they will be closing a lot of the rides soon"
Duo
stops walking and I turn to see what's wrong. The people around us give us
dirty looks for holding up traffic.
"Trowa..."
he starts but stops. "Hey you know what? We haven't been on the Farris Wheel
yet!"
Something
tells me that's not what he started to say. He looks to his right and I follow
his gaze. The large Farris Wheel looms up in the sky, brightly light with
hundreds of tiny light bulbs.
My
stomach turns and my knees feel weak. The roller coasters were one thing,
sitting in a little chair fifty feet off of the ground was another.
I
look to Duo, ready to protest when I see the look in his eye. He's still
staring up at the thing, eyes wide and a slight smile on his lips. After a
moment he looks back to me.
"Ya
ready?" he asks.
"Yeah"
~(-Duo-)~
*I
love these things!*
We
get into the metal seat and a bar locks across our laps. The wheel slowly rises
into the air, showing a breathtaking view of the whole circus. I stare at it
wide eyed for a moment, the lights, and the people walking around looking like
little ants.
The
breeze picks up, blowing my bangs across my face.
*It's
like I'm flying...*
Deathscythe
was never like this, you couldn't feel the rush of air, didn't have time to pay
attention to the ground rushing from underneath you. No, this is different...
I
can hear some music drift up, a light background along with the shouts and
laughter of the people below.
My
problems, the war, the Trowa dilemma, they all seem far away, unimportant...I
feel weightless in the cool spring air.
~(-Trowa-)~
I
quickly turn away from Duo as we lift off of the ground, shutting my eyes. It's
odd, but I didn't want him to know I was scared. I slit open an eye, just
enough to see the ground moving away from me.
*Oh
god!*
I
look away, this time towards Duo. He's watching the ground, his eyes sparkling.
I forget about my fear and watch him.
What
was it about this strange boy? What did I find so...intriguing about him?
*He's
different, you've never met anyone like him before*
*Or
have I? He seems familiar...I can't remember...*
The
chill starts creeping up my spine again and I focus on Duo, letting him take
away the fear and worry. Maybe that's it. When I'm around him I forget about my
memory loss, I forget about my fear, not of heights, of something different...
Some
nights I would wake up breathing heavily, my heart beating fast and a cold
sweat all over my body. I was afraid, but I didn't know what it was I was
afraid of. Whenever I talked to Cathy about it she would say that they were
normal nightmares and change the subject.
The
fear is part of my life now. It's always there, looming in the back of my
heart. I try to act happy, at least not unhappy, for Cathy, she hates to see me
sad. But the fear is always there, haunting me every minute, every breath.
But
now, this whole day, I've forgotten it. Like this violet-eyed boy has absorbed
it, and I don't even know who he is. That strange feeling of familiarity is
growing stronger, I feel I should know who he is, like he's important, but I
can't remember, I can't-
The
chill creeps back up and I close my eyes, controlling my thoughts. I open them
again and watch Duo.
We've
stopped now, nearly at the top. He's looking over the edge, a soft smile on his
lips, not like the ones that he'd kept glued there when he first came, a small
smile, not even showing teeth.
He
was breathing deeply, smelling the air, leaning over the edge, which made me
nervous, but to deprive him of it seemed out of the question, he looked
so...free.
~(-Duo-)~
Trowa's
quiet, which doesn't surprise me, I'm glad actually, it gives me time to think.
I
don't know what to do. Trowa seems happy here, he has his sister, his job, he's
surrounded be admirers, hell, I'd love it here! To take him away, tell him he's
a Gundam pilot and make him fight again...He could have a peaceful life here,
with no killing, he wouldn't even remember it, he wouldn't ever feel guilty or
bloodstained...But then he wouldn't know who he really was.
It's
possible that this girl is really his sister, though he never talked about her
before, but when has Trowa ever talked about his life away from war? And even
if she wasn't his sister, she obviously loved him like a brother, isn't that
just as good? So he had a family here, biological or not.
Maybe
Quatre would be able to decide, they'd spent sometime together, though very
little from what Quatre told me. He said that they'd become good friends. All I
knew about Trowa had come from Quatre, and that was so little.
What
do I know about Trowa? I know that he's the reserved type, not talking
unless he has to or has something worth saying. But other then that, Quatre
didn't know much about him, which doesn't help me much. How can you make a
decision like this for someone you hardly knew?
He
seemed happy enough today, almost having fun sometimes, though he didn't show
it much. That's odd, how that old habit stayed strong.
I
wonder how he's doing now? If he's enjoying this as much as I am. I sneak a
look out of the corner of my eye to see him looking at me. He's watching
me...my ears feel warm again...
I
turn my head and he looks away, but as soon as he does he closes his eyes.
"What's
wrong?" I ask.
"Nothing"
he says quickly. He opens his eyes and looks at me. "Did you enjoy the circus?"
"Yeah"
I say. "I had fun with you"
"I'm
glad," he says quietly.
He's
still looking at me.
"Are
you sure nothing's wrong?" I ask.
"Yes"
he says.
He
looks away and down to the ground. He immediately jumps back, pushing against
the seat; his eyes are glued to the ground.
I
grab his shoulder with one hand and his chin with the other, forcing his face
to mine.
"Look
at me!" I say. "Don't look at the ground, just look into my eyes"
He
nodes and breathes deeply. After a few moments he looks calm and I let go of
his chin and smile slightly.
"Why
didn't you tell me you were afraid of heights?"
Trowa
looks like he wants to look away but knows better then to try.
"I
didn't want you to know. I wanted you to have fun"
*Damn!
Why didn't Quatre tell me he was so sweet?*
*Maybe
Quatre doesn't know*
My
stomach flips and I put a hand to it. Trowa puts his hand on my shoulder, we're
facing each other completely now.
"Are
you okay?" he asks.
"Yeah"
I say with a small laugh. "I guess that ice cream doesn't like heights either"
To
my surprise he chuckles lightly.
*I
wonder if Quatre ever heard him laugh...Stop it! What is that?*
His
hand is still on my shoulder... he's so close...
*Oh
god! Not Trowa!*
Trowa's
hand drops and he places it in his lap, still looking at me. I drop my hand
reluctantly.
*No,
not Trowa, this can't be happening...*
I
want so much for his hand to be on my shoulder again, I already miss the
comforting warmth.
*No!
Every relationship of mine fails...besides, I really doubt Trowa's interested,
there was the whole Jesse thing...*
"I
had fun," Trowa says quietly.
"I
did too," I answer.
*You
already said that! Think before you talk!*
Trowa
doesn't seem to notice.
"The
circus is leaving in a few days," He says. "Will you come back? If only to say
good bye?"
My
stomach flipped again.
*He
wants to see me again! But...he's going to leave? Why had I never thought of it
before?*
I
have to tell him, he needs to know. If I don't tell him he's a Gundam pilot
before he leaves I could never find him again, I have to choose, it's now or
never.
He's
looking at me, his face is solid but his eyes are hopeful.
"Trowa...I
need to..." I can't say it.
His
hand goes to my face, resting lightly on my cheek. My hearts beating so fast! I
wonder if it's possible have heart attack at fifteen.
"What
is it Duo?" he asks.
Quickly,
without thinking about it -because I know that if I did I'd realize that it's
idiotic, not to mention suicidal- I lean in, softly brushing his lips with
mine.
He's
not moving and neither am I. Seconds are passing and we aren't doing anything,
he hasn't pulled back but he also hasn't responded.
The
wheel starts to move up, the sudden motion pushing us closer. He takes the
hint, the hand that had been on my face moving to my neck, his other arm
wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer. My head's buzzing, I'm not
thinking straight, all I know is he's responding, he's not pushing me away, he
actually seems to like this.
I
cautiously run my tongue across his lips, praying silently that he doesn't pull
back. His lips part almost immediately.
*Thank
you!*
I
slip my tongue in, gently probing the inside of his mouth. I mentally laugh, he
still tastes a little like Mint and Chip.
He
gently pulls away, moving his hand back to my cheek, rubbing it lightly with
his thumb.
Without
a word he leans down again, this time trying to be in control. I smirk inwardly
and play with his tongue, gently warring with him.
We
pull away a second time and I sigh, pulling him back into a tight hug. He
returns it just as firm, kissing my hair.
The
chair is moving again, I didn't even notice it start. It comes to a stop.
"We
have to get off" Trowa murmurs into my ear.
"Are
you sure?" I ask, not wanting to leave the comfort of Trowa's shirt.
"Lou
is holding the bar open and watching us. I'm sure"
I
sigh and sit up, giving Lou a dirty look as I climb out of the seat.
~End of Chapter Three~
Soooo
sorry if the kissing was wrong! I'm trying my best! Reviews are loved!
Nikki :-P