Warnings - Insanity, insanity, insanity, random character bashing LOL! Beware of insanity!
Oh, swearing!
Author's Random Ranting - Hehe! I need to get more REVIEWS!! :hint hint: This isn't set at any particular time in the saga, it could be during the Peace Wars or before Mariemaia's rise to power. Anyway, Heero is always getting missions from the scientists. What would happen if they got a never ending mission? What would it say? Would the world ever be safe again? What would the G-Boys do? Will I ever stop asking these stupid questions?
Mission Complete . . . Or is it?
"Holy shit! That's gotta be the longest mission yet, Heero!" Duo exclaimed looking over the print out.
"And it's still going," Quatre exclaimed stuffing more and more paper into Heero's printer.
The printout was about ten pages long and in the tiniest print possible. Duo had to
squint to read and laughed outright when he read the first item on the list.
'On way to destroy OZ base, pick up tuxedos from Rent-A-Tux. Then go to the corner pharmacy and get
anti-fungal cream for Doctor J...' and the list went on and on.
"Disgusting. Next thing ya know they'll be asking for worming medicine and syringes..." Duo commented.
"Page two, Row three."
"Thanks Trowa, I really needed to know that." Duo sighed in exasperation.
"......."
Heero shrugged and slung his bag over his shoulder. He gingerly picked up his laptop, paused printing and motioned to Wufei to carry the last
pieces of paper being spewed out. Instructing Duo to get the printer, Heero started to walk out of the room. Duo waited until Heero left the room to kick the offending machine.
"Don't kick the printer Duo, and hurry up!" Heero's voice traveled down the hall to the room.
Duo shrugged, and hauled the heavy printer to where the rest of the pilots were. They stood in the hangar where they would be fixing Heero's Gundam to equip all Heero's paper and computer and printer. Quatre and Wufei were busy wrestling all the paper down after Heero hit 'Unpause' on the printer. Duo continued to rattle off parts of the list out loud while sitting on his Gundam,
"Oh listen to this! 'Pick up Manuel on Dealing with Sociopath Pilots who Like Ferrets, between picking up prescription medication for radiation burns and dropping off dried ear wax for lab samples.' Ewww! You think they could do that themselves!"
Frustrated, Heero snapped. He picked up the papers, laid them on the ground, and began stomping on them to make them flatter. Having no effect, he grabbed Wufei, threw him on his back on top of the papers, and stomped up and down on Wufei's chest, while screaming,
"OMAE O KOROSU! I SHALL NEVER STOP UNTIL THESE GODDAMNED PAPERS ARE GODDAMNED FLAT
ENOUGH TO FIT INTO MY GODDAMNED GUNDAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Haha! Page 106, row 45, 'Stop at mechanics and pick up muffler to hit Heero with.' Page 275, row 93, 'Pick up bridal gown from
Laundromat for classified reasons.' Hey Heero, here's a whole other stack of about 50 papers to add to you collection!"
Wufei's eyes went wide, and he yelled,
"You braided baka, make that braided baka yaro, don't give him any more to flatten." It was too late.
Heero jerked Wufei off the ground and with his well-know superhuman strength, tossed him aside. Gently putting the stack of papers on the others, Heero calmly asked for more. When the stack reached about three feet high, Heero wiggled his butt on top of them, and let it rip. The gas had to be worse than tear gas, and was now Heero's best known weapon. Sighing contentedly,
Heero watched the pile deflate into a stack no more than six inches high, and as heavy as a brick. Duo wheezed, and picked himself off the ground.
"Here's a good one that fits the occasion, 'Pick up GasX for everyone's favorite Gundam Pilot.' That's page 1067, row 87," Duo said pinching his nose, giving his voice the characteristic nasal twang.
"......" was Trowa's addition to that comment, as he swayed back and forth, still reeling from the stench in the hangar.
Quatre was strangely absent, and they found him, twitching, under his Gundam. One eye was wide open, and the other
squeezed halfway shut, giving him a disturbed look. Backing off slowly, Duo said,
"Ok, he's just gonna stay there then," he hopped back onto his Gundam and said, "Hey check this one out, a normal one, 'Destroy Oz MS manufacturer and,' ok take that back, 'And pick up gift certificate from Victoria's Secret after entering carrot-cake colored quilt contest,' Ok the next thing on this list is gonna shock you, 'Make carrot-cake colored quilt.' Won't that be fun!"
Heero dropped unconscious then and there. Duo shrugged and continued reading until Quatre walked in rubbing his head from an obvious headache.
He tripped over Heero, and just lay there saying,
"Nobody touch me. I think it's better if I don't know why Heero's laying here in the middle of the hangar."
Wufei however was jumping all around yelling,
"I LOVE quilts! When can we start? Huh? Huh?"
Duo dragged Heero into Wing ZERO and helped Trowa convince Quatre that it was the nice, helpful thing to do, to run errands for the scientists. Quatre then readily agreed and Wufei was still hopping around bugging Trowa about the quilt. Heero woke up and yelled as Duo was about to pause the
printer to take it with them,
"Leave the damn thing here, let the damn thing print, and just put some
damn paper in."
Duo obliged, and when everyone was in his own Gundam, They took off. After getting the tuxedos, it was off the Bill's Falafel Hut for top secret pita ingredients. Duo called Heero on the vid screen, and caught the Wing pilot concentrating on something in his nose.
"Uh, sorry Duo, had a, um, itch."
"You were picking your nose, Heero. Find any good ones up there?" Heero turned bright red and Duo turned off the vid screen laughing.
The next stop was office building Paper Clips & Co. to get a paperweight for Professor G.
Why he wanted a paperweight made of plastic Legos was beyond them, but the Legos
drew Heero in like magnet, He sat there for half an hour taking it apart and putting it back together again, laughing manically when it was finished. When the boys were done paying for it with the scientists' expense account, Duo grabbed it from Heero and bopped him on the head saying,
"Let's go Lego maniac! We're going after those scientist to DESTROY them!" *for everyone including myself hating the US kill dub, for pplz who don't know, the US dubbed every single word kill to destroy*
Quatre stomped his foot in anger, after the boys returned to the parking lot where they had parked their Gundams, Quatre had three parking tickets plastered onto
Sandrock's foot. He shook with rage and yelled at a calm Heero,
"IF YOU HADN'T BEEN PLAYING WITH THOSE STUPID LEGOS I WOULD HAVE $40 WORTH OF PARKING TICKETS!" Quatre went into ZERO system mode and tried to throttle Heero, who stood just out of reach. Trowa and Wufei held the blond pilot back until he calmed and said,
"Let's get those scientists!"
After DESTROYING the scientists, they returned to the hangar. Heero went to check the printer and yelled for the other's.
"It stopped!" he called.
"It did?" someone echoed.
"Ya! It ran out of paper!"
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Dun, Dun, Dun! Hehee! Sorry, I don't how that hit me! Enjoy!!!
~Gothica Angel
