Little Red Riding Hood
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, I don't own the original
Red Riding Hood...
Rating: PG-13. I think.....
Pairings: Implied 2x1... *shrugs*
Warnings: Quatre in a dress... Seriously cute....
Notes: I need notes? Er... I want my Gundam Chicken!!!! Um....
*shrugs* I need something to do....
Phobos: You made me Red Riding Hood?
Yeah. So?
Phobos: *sighs* .....
Go get into costume, Phobos....
Phobos: Fine, fine... *walks off*
(Once upon a time, there was a little girl that everyone called Red Riding Hood.)
Phobos: *peeks out* I'm not little, you know.
(I know you're not! It's just how the story goes!)
Phobos: *steps out in the open, dressed in her normal outfit along with a red cloak around her neck* /Must/ I be Red Riding Hood?
(Please? I /swear/ I haven't been watching Tex Avery's Red Hot Riding Hood!)
Phobos: Better not have... *looks around* There's no one here!
(You've been arguing with me. Can we continue?)
Phobos: I suppose.
(Thank you. Now, one day, Red's mother...)
*Quatre gets shoved out in the open. Quatre is wearing a blue dress, a white apron, and blue high heels*
Quatre: *whimpers* Ko!
(Hm?)
Phobos: *points at Quatre and laughs*
Quatre: Phobos!
(Anyway... one day, Red's mother asked her daughter to deliver a basket of goodies to Red's ailing grandmother who lived at the other end of the woods.)
Quatre: *gratefully hands over the basket he was holding*
Phobos: Eh? *looks in the basket* Holy...! *slams the lid down* Who's the grandmother?!
(Can't tell. So, anyway, Red was sent on her way.)
Quatre: Oh, and 'Red'? Don't stray far from the path and don't talk to any strangers.
Phobos: Yeah, yeah. *waves him off*
(Trowa: *from his spot by the author* Ko's as strange as they
come.
Koneko: Hey!!
Candy: *also by the author* *snickers*)
Quatre: *ignoring Ko and the two with her* I have things to do, my dear, so I must take my leave, daughter mine.
(Candy: Daughter mine? *laughs*
Trowa: Ho boy...
Koneko: ....Can I continue without conflict from you two?
Both: *shake their heads rapidly*)
Phobos: Sure, Mother. I have to take my start on my journey.
Quatre: *happily leaves the stage*
Phobos: *exits the stage from the opposite side*
(Red cautiously entered the forest.)
Phobos: *walks on the new set and sees all the trees*
(When she realized it was safe, she started to skip on her merry way.)
Phobos: I DON'T skip and I'm NOT merry.
(Okay, okay. Walked on her way. Happy?)
Phobos: Very.
(Now, in the woods, there lived a big, bad wolf.)
Heero: *walks out from behind a tree. A pair of silver-gray ears are atop his head and a long silver-gray tail wraps itself around his upper thigh* ....
(*blinks* Um...)
Phobos: *sighs* You see Heero looking like a wolf and you forget the story?!
(Candy: *giggles*
Koneko: He's a cute wolf! Sorry!)
Heero: Can we get a move on it? I have a piggy to kill and if I remember this story, I have a 'grandmother' to eat.
Phobos: Does it involve the stuff in this basket? *holds up the basket*
(Maybe... And Heero, you owe me for /your/ part.)
Heero: No playing with my tail.
Phobos: *blinks* WHAT?!
(I can't give Heero up for Lent.... Plus, there's that wedding picture....)
Heero: Just /get/ on with it!
(Okay, okay... Now, the wolf approached Red.)
Heero: *glares at the author*
Phobos: *whimpers* Don't, Hee-senshi! She might do the 'Red Hot Riding Hood' version!
Heero: *stops and looks at Phobos* And where are you off to, little lady?
Phobos: *regains her composure* I'm delivering goodies to my ailing grandmother who lives at the edge of the woods.
Heero: *nodding* I see...
(Now, the droolsome wolf looked around and saw a meadow of flowers.)
Heero: A meadow? We're on some soundstage.
Phobos: This /is/ Ko we're talking about. Stranger things /have/ happened.
(I still have that Immortal fic to finish.... /That/ isn't going as planned.... Anyway....)
Heero: *sighs and looks at his script* Would your grandmother like some flowers?
Phobos: *groaning at the lameness of the lines* I bet that would make her day! *stops the sappy lines* Who /is/ the grandmother anyway?!
Heero: Think, Phoenix. If I'm the wolf, /who/ do you think is the grandmother?
Phobos: Lessee... handcuffs... Duo?
Heero: Bravo.
Phobos: .....
(Moving on... While Red was picking flowers, the wolf slipped off to Red's grandmother's house.)
Heero: *cautiously approaches the 'cabin' marked 'Grandmother's house'*
(Why are you being so cautious?)
Heero: It could be J behind that door.
(Oh. *checks* It's not.)
Heero: Good. *knocks on the door* Duo?
Duo: *from inside* Wha? Who is it?
Heero: *in a seductive voice* Just a wolf that needs to be taught a lesson.
Duo: *laughs*
(That's NOT what your line is!! Heero!)
Heero: *gives Koneko a grin and sneaks in the house*
(*sighs* Anyway... Red came out of the forest and went up to the door.)
Phobos: *walks out on stage, looks at the 'cabin' and sits down*
(Go up to the door and knock!)
Phobos: *shakes her head*
(Why not?)
*low moans, yelps, and growls come from the 'cabin'*
Phobos: They're busy. Sounds like they're making a 2x1 lemon.
(*sighs* Why me?)
Phobos: Why not? End this already. Call it /your/ sanity, psycho kitty.
(Fine... *looks at the 'cabin' with the 2x1 lemon in progress*)
The End