Body
I don't know how many there are, but I know it's more than six!
by Teg
Cloud was racing his new chocobo, Sylvia, at the Gold Saucer, when a thought struck his mind.
"Tifa, how many chocobos does it take to reach the moon?"
"What!?" asked Tifa.
"Well, I don't know many there are, but I know it's more than six!"
"Cloud, you have problems." And Tifa walked away.
"Esther, how many chocobos does it take to reach the moon?"
"One."
"Nu-uh! I don't know how many there are, but I know it's more than six!"
Esther hit him, and then ran off to the moon with Sylvia.
"Hey! She stole my chocobo!"
Cloud left the chocobo racing, and went to the event square to find Vincent. He was sitting down on one of the benches.
"Vincent, how many chocobos does it take to get to the moon?"
"You can't take chocobos to the moon. Why are you asking me this?"
"Honk Honk!" Cloud honked Vincent on the nose, and ran away giggling.
"What's wrong with him?"
Cloud ran to the wonder square, pretending to be a plane, and then he ran into Cait Sith. They both fell down.
"Ow, my bottom." said Cloud as he got up.
"Hey Cloud! What are you up to?"
"Oh Cait Sith! How many chocobos does it take to get to the moon?"
"Uhhh... four?"
"Wrong! I don't know how many it is, but I know it's more than six!" Then he ran off to where the games were, and found Yuffie, who was playing Mog House.
"Damn! Another 100 gil down the hole! How are you supposed to beat this stinkin thing?"
"Hi Yuffie!"
"Go away Cloud I'm trying to concentrate."
"I'll tell you how if you answer a question for me."
"Alright."
"How many chocobos does it take to get to the moon?"
"What kind of dumb ass question is that?"
"Answer."
"Hmmm... I would have to say two, cause if one got tired, then you'd have a fresh one to use."
"Nope! I don't know how many there are, but I know it's more than six!"
Yuffie took out her Twin Viper and tried to shove it up Cloud's ass, but he dashed away and found Barret and Cid at the battle arena.
"Barret, you idiot! You haven't won a single battle! You're getting out of shape!" said Cid.
"I know! Curse that addictive Passions!"
"From now on, we need to get out and train! Starting now!"
They started to do some aerobics moves, right in the middle of the battle arena.
"Feel the burn!"
The funny thing was, all the people around them started to join in.
"Barret! Cid! I have to ask you something!" said Cloud as he grape vined his way over to the pair. They stopped.
"What do you want to know?"
"How many chocobos does it take to get to the moon?"
"Three." said Barret, and Cid nodded in agreement.
"No! I don't know how many there are, but I know it's more than six!"
Cloud ran off. He couldn't find Red 13, so he just started to ask random strangers. None of then knew the answer either. Soon it was time to go home, and the rest of the heroes gathered at the station, but Cloud wasn't there.
"Does anyone know where Cloud is?" asked Tifa.
"I dunno, but his ass has a date with my Twin Viper!" said Yuffie.
"He asked us somethin about chocobos and the moon, and then he disappeared." said Cid.
"Did anyone see him after that?"
Everyone shook their heads. Tifa sighed.
"We have to go look for him then."
Everyone groaned. They all split up though, and went to look for Cloud. Red 13 found him in the speed square, unconscious. When he came to, he couldn't remember a thing, but it turned out he was taking Maiden's kiss pills so he wouldn't turn into a puddle when he had a nervous breakdown, and well, he took a few too many than the dosage and he went crazy. It explained a few things, but why did he pass out? Well, he asked a few too many people that absurd question, and the cast of Passions (they were there too.) got really mad and tortured him. Yuffie's Twin Viper never did get it's date with Cloud's ass, and Cid and Barret never got back into shape, but Cloud stopped taking the pills, and stayed away from the Gold saucer for a long time.
THE END
Author's Note: That was the weirdest story I've written. Well, almost. But I want to know what you guys thought of it, so please review!
