"The Sins of the Father"
BY: Arizona (KarmasChild@aol.com)
Obi-Wan, pre-ANH, reflection/angst, G/PG at best
SUMMARY: Obi-Wan has been watching over young Luke Skywalker for many
years, keeping him safe from his father. But, if he were trained as a
Jedi, who would keep them safe from him, should he turn? An old friend
counsel's Obi-Wan when he needs it the most.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, not mine, not mine! None of it. I don't even
claim the punctuation this time... I'm sure it belongs to someone. That Webster guy,
maybe?
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A light breeze blew over the Dune Sea, kicking up a dust cloud in its
wake. Tatooine's twin suns hung high in the sky, beating down upon the
planet's inhabitants and scorching the land below. It was nearing
midday, a dangerous time to be outside in the heat... even the planet's
indigenous species' were holed up in various hideaways awaiting nights
cool embrace.
One lone figure stood out among the landscape's rocky, sandy terrain...
Luke Skywalker. Lanky and strong, the dusty blond moisture farmer was
barely a man at nineteen standard years of age. The only nephew of Owen
Lars, the owner of this land, Luke had been farming all his remembered
life... one would think he'd have the hang of it by now. But, he'd been
careless. Prone to long periods of daydreaming, he'd often find himself
at he mercy of an all too short deadline that would have been reasonable,
had he stuck to his original schedule. This was one of those cases.
Collector 13 on the North ridge was full and damaged and if he didn't
hurry, the entire day's harvest would be lost. It -was- a dangerous time
to be out, but the repairs had to be made.
Luke paused a moment, once the repairs were done, to wipe the sweat from
his brow and take a sparring sip from his canteen. He squinted out into
the sparse rock formations of the ridge and took a deep breath. He knew
it should concern him to be alone, out in the Wastelands. The heat alone
was worry enough and was coupled with the danger the Tusken Raiders
presented. An unsuspecting traveler could find himself in a world of
trouble. Luke chuckled at the image... there wasn't really any tourism
to speak of on Tatooine, so the 'unsuspecting traveler' species really
didn't exist on Tatooine. And those who arrived from other places often
stayed not long at all or ended up dead very quickly.
But, he never worried about his own safety out here. His Aunt Beru
thought it arrogance and a feeling of invincibility of youth. It wasn't
so much a feeling of invincibility, though, as a feeling of... being
watched over. He'd long been convinced that he had a guardian angel
looking out for him. As he bent to retrieve his tools, he was once again
warmed by that feeling of watchful protectiveness. He smiled a bit and
then, with a parting wave to the empty terrain, he climbed aboard his
speeder and headed for home.
****
A second figure stood shrouded in the shadows of a rocky outcropping a
short distance from the moisture collector where Luke Skywalker had just
been standing. Once certain that the boy was safely away, the hooded
figure turned back to find his own refuge from the midday heat.
Obi-Wan Kenobi shook his head, wonderingly, as he walked. Sometimes he
was sure that the boy knew he was there. Had that parting wave been
meant for him? He shook his head again. No... Luke was strong in the
Force, that was certain. However, he was unpracticed, untrained, and did
not have to proper control to determine that what he was feeling was
actually another man and not just a feeling. Just a shadow.
A shadow, A shade... sometimes he wondered if that was what he was. If
he even existed at all. His thoughts drifted as he walked on- each step
that carried him farther home sent his memories swirling back. The Old
Republic with it's stuffy senators and delegates, the Jedi Council
seeming to hold the peace and justice of the Galaxy intact with
effortless grace and dignity, friends and lovers, enemies and
adversaries... ghosts of the past.
He pushed open the door to the small hut that had served as his home for
more years than he cared to recall. Shrugging off his heavy outer robe,
he trudged wearily over to his cot and slumped heavily down upon it,
taking a seat with his back to the wall. Heaving a heavy sigh, he
dropped his head down into his hands. He was tired. His body and bones
ached with an age that was not entirely the fault of time. War, the pain
of loss, loneliness... all had conspired to age him beyond his years.
Outwardly, he was strongly built and well maintained... but, inside, he
felt his strength wasting away. He was heartsick... Palpatine's empire
had grown to massive proportions, it's reign of terror stretching out to
reach all but the most remote of systems in the outer rim. Obi-Wan had
seen the end of the Republic, the end of the Jedi Council, the end of the
Jedi themselves... he'd managed to outlive it all. Would he outlive the
Empire, he now wondered? Or was that Force prickling at the back of his
neck a sign that he would soon see his own ending...?
"Not an ending, Obi-Wan..." came an all too familiar voice, "but a new
beginning."
Obi-Wan's head snapped up, eyes wide. "Master?"
The apparition before him was all at once terrifyingly strange and
painfully familiar. The face, the gentle eyes, soft smile registering...
what... amusement? Obi-Wan would know those features anywhere. What was
strange about it was the fact that Qui-Gon Jinn had been dead for decades
now, and by all rights really should not be standing in his living room.
For a moment, Obi-Wan wondered if he'd been out in the heat too long...
"How?" Obi-Wan murmured, staring at the nearly translucent form of his
old master, wanting so very badly for this to actually be real.
The Force apparition that was Qui-Gon shimmered as he walked over to the
cot where Obi-Wan sat and took a seat beside him. "The Force is a
powerful ally... surely I need not remind you of that." He smiled.
Oh, how he'd missed those gentle, teasing smiles! Obi-Wan returned the
smile, momentarily forgetting the pain and hopelessness of the Galaxy in
favor of one perfect moment with his beloved master. "I've missed you,
Master."
"And I you, my friend." The warmth in his voice was unmistakable.
The smile faded from Obi-Wan's face as quickly as it had appeared. "I am
afraid, Master..."
Qui-Gon nodded. "I felt your distress... tell me what is troubling you."
"It's the boy..." Obi-Wan stared off into space with a frown.
"Young Luke Skywalker?"
"Yes..." Obi-Wan hesitated. "I failed, Master, with Anakin. My pride and
his hatred led to the destruction of everything we fought for, that you
died for! That I loved..."
Qui-Gon nodded gently in understanding. "I see... do you think that you
alone suffer the blame for Anakin's downfall?"
"Who else can be blamed?" Obi-Wan asked, miserably, as he slumped back
against the wall behind him. He'd have given anything at that moment to
be back on Coruscant all those years ago, sitting on the floor at his
master's knee, listening to anything and everything Qui-Gon had to say.
To be young again and full of strength and promise.
"Perhaps," Qui-Gon began, "it should not be a question of blame. Every
man chooses his own path, Obi-Wan. You know that. The choices are set
before each of us by destiny, by the Force... you could no more have
controlled Anakin's decision than he could have yours."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "If he'd been better trained..."
"He would still have turned." Qui-Gon responded flatly. "It was his
destiny and his choice to do so and would have held true no matter who
had trained him. Myself... Yoda... another. We cannot change what's in
another man's heart, no matter how hard we work to do just that..."
"Then our efforts are meaningless..." Obi-Wan mumbled, feeling the weight
of his despair crash down upon him.
"No." Qui-Gon's voice sharpened, catching his attention once again.
"Your will, your focus, your action determines your reality. Yours and
no one else's. But, your fates are not isolated, Obi-Wan. The people
around you... those we love and care for, those we fight against... our
fates are all intertwined. Your actions affect those around you. The
path you choose opens up new options for them. What they learn from you,
for better or worse, affects what choices they have before them and how
they will make it."
"Then my wrong decision, somewhere, must have pointed Anakin in the wrong
direction..."
Qui-Gon fixed him with a look, "Listen to me. There is nothing you can
do, nor do you bear the responsibility of the results of other's actions.
Your only responsibility is to react to those decisions they make as best
you can. You cannot make the decisions for them even if you want to.
What you gave Anakin was more precious than you believe, Obi-Wan. You
gave him the information he needed and the trust and free will necessary
to make his decisions on his own... it was no less than I gave you."
Obi-Wan spread his hands in defeat. "But, he made the wrong decision,
Master! If I gave him no less than I received, why did he turn and I did
not?"
An affectionate smile spread over Qui-Gon's stoic features. "Because, my
Obi-Wan, you are a good man. You always have been. Throughout your
entire life, your only ambition has been to better yourself and the world
around you. Anakin's was darker... power, revenge... his was always
selfish motivation. The fault was in the material, not the molding..."
A tiny, warm glow blossomed in Obi-Wan's chest at his master's praise and
a smile hovered near, but did not quite reach his lips. He was still
afraid. "But, what if the son is cut from the same cloth...?"
"To some degree he is... his bloodline is never to be ignored nor
overlooked. But, the son is not the sum of his father's past or his
current actions. Luke is his own man with his own choices laid before
him by the Force."
Obi-Wan nodded. "Still, I've watched the boy for nearly two decades now.
There is much good in him, however, there is also ambition, stubbornness,
fear... and he's very old to just be beginning his training. There's so
much time lost."
The Force apparition Qui-Gon, folded his hands in his lap. "Yes, he's
quite a bit older than we would have liked him to be. Certainly, he is
much older than the Council would have allowed. But, this is a new time
for us, Obi-Wan, a new kind of evil to be fought, and it requires a new
kind of Jedi. I believe that Luke is that Jedi." Qui-Gon looked at
Obi-Wan for a long moment. "Do you remember when I first brought Anakin
before the Council." When Obi-Wan nodded, he continued. "And do you
remember what Yoda said?"
"Fear. Yoda sensed much fear in him... and a clouded future."
"Yes," Qui-Gon nodded. "So did the other masters. And you? What was it
you felt from him?"
"Danger, Master... to us all." Obi-Wan suppressed a shiver.
Again, Qui-Gon nodded. "You've always had a bit of the foretelling
talent where I did not. And even though you felt danger from him, you
trained him for me as I asked." He smiled. "I've always been proud of
you, my apprentice, but never more so than for that. You honored me
greatly with your trust and courage."
Obi-Wan smiled again, a genuine smile. "Thank you, Master."
"From Anakin you felt fear, then, and danger. But what of Luke?"
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and stretched out with the Force. Luke's
presence was easy to locate, a bright Force spot in the vast wastelands.
He reached out for the boy, reached deep within him... measuring him
beside his father's image. Where Anakin's heart held only hate, Luke's
held joy. Where Anakin's harbored fear, Luke knew only courage. Where
Anakin's heart had burned with anger, Luke's glowed with the promise
of...
"Hope." Obi-Wan opened his eyes and turned to look at his master, but
the vision of Qui-Gon was no longer there. In his place, though,
blossomed the strength and hope necessary to drive Obi-Wan to carry on
and see this path through to it's end. His master's wisdom and love had
shown him the way. Finally he began to see young Luke Skywalker the way
he should be seen... as a young man, bright with the light of promise and
potential. He was not an extension of his father.
He was a new hope.
As he lay back on his cot and his eyes drifted shut, his thoughts on the
future. He would go to the boy and talk to him. Somehow he would
persuade the boy to begin his training and learn the ways of the Force.
He smiled in the dark, a smile of hope that dared to dream of new peace.
"Thank you, Master..." Obi-Wan said into the night as he drifted off to
sleep.
A soft whisper, like that of a gentle breeze, drifted through his
dreams... You are welcome, my Obi-Wan. The Force will always be with
you... and so will I.
-The End-