Disclaimer: Um, still don't own digimon or digicharacters, and probably won't anytime soon.
Black Clouds: Part two- Pain
Matt's POV
I sat there stunned. What was I thinking? That he would love me back? That's a laugh, nobody could love me. I had just told Taichi my biggest secret, well one of them, and all he could do was stare at me. After about ten minutes of silence I asked him if he was okay, and you know what he did? He ran away, from me, breaking my heart, he ran. I don't blame him, maybe I would have too if our situations were switched. But it still hurt. He was the one who had asked me to share my feelings in the first place, practically begged me to tell him what was wrong with me. He had promised to stay my friend, and after all that he ran from me, like I was some diseased animal. Ha! Some friend.
I sat in the same spot as earlier, without moving, just stared out over the river. I had loved Tai practically forever, how ever long that is. Even though I wouldn't admit it, I realize now that I needed him. Sure we had always fought a lot, but I had always provoked him. I think I was denying my feelings the whole time, not wanting to face my greatest fear,... that I would fall in love. We had become great friends after the wars in the digital world, but now that friendship meant nothing. I had just blown it away. What a loser I am, a disgusting, perverted freak.
Shivering violently, I looked up from my musings and saw that night had already fallen. Up above I could barely make out the tiny pinpoints of light from millions of bright stars. Sighing, I finally stood up, groaning with the effort as I had stiffened up from sitting in the same spot for so long. I shook my head trying to clear it. My dad was probably getting worried by now, I should head home. As I slowly walked towards the part of town where my apartement was, I couldn't help the questions that tumbled through my aching head. Did Tai hate me now? Would he ever speak to me again? How could I live with myself if he did hate me? What was I going to do?
Deep in thought, I went through one of the many alley ways in the city, and bumbed into someone. "Hey! Watch where you're goin' asshole!" He growled at me.
I mumbled an apology, too tired to get into a fight, but as I tried to step around him he moved back into my way. "You're Tai's friend, ain't ya." Just hearing that name tore me to pieces inside. I finally looked up and vagualy recognized the guy as one of Tai's soccer teammates.
"Maybe, maybe not. Just bug off okay?" I tried to shove through but he just grinned and held his ground.
"You are Tai's bud. I know it. You ain't getting away this easily. We're going to pay Tai back for stealing our fame. You're going to help us, blondy." He grinned evilly and whistled, "Hey boys! I found him, lets get some payback!" Three other guys, also Tai's teammates, stepped out of the shadows. I was surrounded.
"W...What do you want?" I looked around frantically, the alley way was empty except for me and these guys. I would get no help.
"Sorry blondy, no time to explain, you'll find out soon enough. Daren! Grab his arms! Rem, Jerry, get his legs." I struggled in a panic as they pounced on me, there was no escaping, they were a hundered times stronger than me, "Hehe, that's right blondy, struggle all ya can. You ain't gettin away. Now here's where the fun begins."
They had me on the ground, on my stomach. Whenever I tried to break free, one of them would hit or kick me, hard. I felt some broken ribs already, and blood was running freely down my face. The two guys who had my legs spread them out, and I felt some one tear away at my pants with a knife. Oh shit, I tried to scream but I got punished again, this time a boot slammed down on my back, stealing away most of my breath. I sobbed helplessly as the leader laughed at me, "You're going to give this message to that brown haired bastard. But you ain't going to live to tell it, only to show it. Hahaha."
"Please," I whispered, swallowing painfully, "Please don't... Please." Tears rolled down my eyes as I felt pain shoot through me. It never ceased, again and again the pain lanced through my body as the leader had his fun with me. I could feel my body being torn up inside. It felt like a million knives being stuck inside of me. I had never felt such a awful, dirty pain before. The whole world seem to fall to pieces. When he was done, he switched with one of the others, until each had his turn. I begged and pleaded the whole time, never in my life had I felt so low. This is something you just don't expect to happen to you.
By the time the last one was in me, I couldn't feel, hear or see anything. Pain was my only sense. I felt more kicks and clubbings, and even a knife, but it all seemed so far away. Like it was happening to someone else. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, it's surprising I held on this long. Before the last guy was done with me I had fallen into a oblivious dark hole. I could no longer feel any pain.
*>>>>>*
I don't know how long I floated around in the darkness. It felt like eternity, it felt like mere seconds. All I know is that I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was like I was dead, but if I was, how come I wasn't in heaven? or Hell? Or somewhere, anywhere? This couldn't be what it was like to die. It was so boring, and pointless. All there was to see was black, it was blacker than black. It seemed to suck at my very soul, trying to pull me away from myself. The blackness was seeping through me, I was Darkness. But then there was light.
I don't know where it came from, one moment I was about to fall forever into the surrounding darkness, then the next I saw a small pin of light. It looked like a tiny star, but it seemed to be growning bigger. I tried to push it away, not wanting to leave my comforting dark place, but it was insistent. Soon it had pushed away most of the black, shining bright as the sun, blinding me. I still couldn't think, but I felt. It was pain, it washed over me suddenly until I gasped for breath. Where was my painless dark, I wanted it back. I didn't want to face my life again, it was just to hurtful.
But nothing helped. And just like that I could see again. The pain was there, but it was dulled. I just stared at the ceiling, trying to push away a curtain of unreality, What was I still doing here? Alive? What had happened?
"He's Awake! Doctor! Come quick, Matt's awake!!" I heard a voice yell beside me, but I didn't, couldn't, move. "Matt? Matt, can you hear me? Come on Matt say something, do something dammit!"
I saw a face appear in my sight. It was someone I knew, but I was just too tired to think of who it was. The boy's face was suddenly pulled away, and another unfamiliar face replaced his. "Ishida Yamato? Can you respond? I am doctor Naiko, you were badly hurt, and you are in the hospital know. So everything is going to be fine." She was quite pretty, with her long black hair tied back, and a pair of small glasses sitting on her nose. I didn't even try to speak or give any sign I heard, though. I was just too filled up with a pain that wouldn't leave me alone. I couldn't understand it, why was I here? The doctor asked me more questions, and I just stared blankly at her. Finally her face was gone from my view and I could hear voices beside me.
"Is he going to be okay?" A boy asked.
"Well, he is going to live. But he might be a bit traumatized. I'm sorry, I do not know yet if he will be physically or mentally okay." I heard the doctors voice answer.
I closed my eyes, feeling very drained of energy. I had no clue what was going on, why I was here, but I was tired so I didn't care. Just before I drifted off into sleep once again, I felt my hand be taken up into another's hand and the boy was talking to me. I started to remember to whom that voice belonged to. It was someone I held dear, but all I could recall was a name. Taichi.
"You're going to make it, Matt. Please, you have to. I'm not going to leave you, not again, don't you worry. Your father and your brother are out there waiting for you. You have to be okay. You have to because I need to tell you something when you feel better." He went on and on, all about how I was going to get better. Soon I just tuned him out, and went into a deep sleep. A horror filled sleep.
***
It was happening all over. Again Tai ran away from me.
Again I walked down that cursed alleyway. Then over and over I was torn
apart. Even in my dreams I could feel every little bit of pain, it wasn't
any less. They laughed at me, beat me up, and took me from the inside.
Why? Why were they doing this? In my dream I was able to scream, the more
they hurt me the louder I screamed. It hurt, oh god it hurt. Blood everywhere,
mocking laughter filled the air. And I screamed for all I was worth. I
couldn't stop, the pain was too great, I was going to die of it.
Then, out of no where, I heard voices over top of my screams and their laughter. Others were yelling at me, trying to get me to hear them. I didn't want to listen, I wanted to die, leave all the hurt behind, all the humiliation. I heard someone wailing, it wasn't me. I recognized that cry, I would know it anywhere. Then I knew I had to live, for my brother's sake. What would he do without me? I could never leave him behind. I had promised him once that I would always be there for him, and so I would.
***
I woke up, I couldn't see. It was too bright. Blinded, I was still screaming, the pain was lessened but still there, still real. And the memories were even worse. I wanted it to go away, forever. Flailing around, I tried to stop my attackers.
"Matt! Get a hold of yourself man! OW!" I felt my fist connect with someones face. I didn't care, this time they wouldn't get me.
"Hold him down, he'll hurt himself!" Someone else yelled over my screams. More arms grabbed me, holding my arms and body down. Finally after a little while, I calmed down a bit. Only because I was in even more pain from moving around, and my throat was killing me. I seized up once, then lay still. Slowly the hands came off of me.
"M...Matt?" I opened up my eyes slowly, painfully, tears were still running out of them. I looked up and saw a blurred face watching over me, brown hair wild. A hand wiped away my tears, "You're safe now Matt. They... they can't hurt you here." As my vision cleared, I could see that the other boy was also crying. He also had a purple cheek where I had hit him.
I tried to say something, but my throat closed up, and I ended up gasping for air instead. "Don't move Matt. You were beaten up really bad. They must have wanted to kill you..." The brown haired boy choked.
"T... T...K.." I managed to croak. I was so thirsty, and as if reading my mind Tai took a cup of water off of a table and held it while I gulped it down.
"I'll get TK. We had to take him out of here for a while, he was pretty upset. But he'll be okay." Tai took away the empty cup and left the room. I turned my head a little so that I could watch him. I wished that he didn't hate me, I should never have told him. Too late now. Why was he here anyway?
Just then a smaller boy came running into my room. He looked quite a lot like me, with his short blond hair and deep blue eyes. My brother, I loved him more than anything in the world. TK had grown up quite a lot since our adventures in the digiworld. But he would always be my little brother. I could see the tears in his eyes as he ran to the bed that I lay on. He couldn't jump on, as he might have, because of all the tubes and stuff that were connected to me, but he stood beside me.
"I'm so glad you're awake. You don't look very good, but you're okay now right?" TK looked at me hopefully. I just nodded my head slightly. My brother seemed to take that as a good answer and went on talking cheerfully, "Dad's here, he's in that room we all waited in. Mom had to work so she'll be here later to see you. Matt, you should see all the kids outside. There's a lot of our friends, and a whole ton of girls. And there's cards an' flowers an' presents an' everything!" He paused to take a breath.
I gave him a small reassuring smile. Just to hear my little brother's voice cheered me up a bit. He was so innocent from the pain of the world. I tried to move a hand to touch him with, but pain shot up it causing me to groan aloud. TK knew exactly what was going on, he always was a smart kid. Taking my hand gently, the smaller boy smiled at me cheerfully. He started chatting again, a little quieter this time, about what was going on while I was stuck in here. It was great to see him again, to hear his cute innocent voice prattle on about non important stuff. As he spoke about his life, my eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. I seemed to be tired a lot lately, probably because I had lost so much blood. The last thing I heard as I drifted off to sleep was TK telling me how much he loved me. He's so sweet sometimes. Then I was out like a light. And with sleep came the nightmare once again.
(A/N) Aww, poor Yama-chan. sniff. Next part coming
soon, please review?? Please?