Dude, Where's My Bong? Part 1:The Party
Disclaimer: What has two thumbs and doesn't own Zelda? THIS GUY!
"Hey everybody. I, Link, welcome you to the par-tay of the century!" The seventeen year old Hero of Time declared to the guests in his new house in Castle Town Market. He was now sharing a house with his homeboy Knil.
"Now, let the drug use begin!" Link said as he pulled out his bong. It was a beautiful ghetto bong decorated with bunnies. He took some marijuana from his secret stash, put it into the bong, and smoked it. Within an hour, everybody in the house was stoned.
"Hey. Darunia. I have a problem with you. I want a freaking Werthers candy dammit!" Saria said to a houseplant.
"Everybody, tell me your pleasure!" Zelda yelled to the crowd before she stripped down to her bra and panties.
"Wheee!" Darunia yelled as he swung from the ceiling fan moments before the fan broke and he fell on Ruto.
"Hey. After the luau, do you want to go windsurfing?" One of Knil's friends said to Link.
"How can we go windsurfing when we're trapped on an disabled submarine?" Link responded.
"This is fun!" Zelda yelled as she ran by Malon wearing only whipped cream over her privates who began to lick it off.
"Shake shake shake! Shake your boo-tay!" Knil yelled as he ran around the house in his boxers.
"Ruto want Link! Ruto will get Link!" Ruto said before she grabbed Link into a bedroom.
"Me want Link and me will get Link!" Ruto said and began to strip him. She placed his bong on the nightstand. Link instantly passed out. Ruto did something that I will not describe in order to keep this fic below NC-17 and left. While Link was passed out, a hand reached into his clothes' pockets and took his bong.
"Oh god. My head is killing me." Link said as he woke up the next morning. He looked down at Link JR (Not the Goron) and saw it was all green.
"Oh shit! Where are my clothes?" Link said as he scrambled around the room getting his clothes on.
"About time you woke up. You've been sleeping for a long time." Knil said as he sipped his coffee.
"Dude. Where's my stuff?" Link asked.
"Your stuff should've been in your bedroom. What are you looking for?" Knil asked.
"Oh shit! Dude, where's my bong?" Link asked frantically.