Disclaimer: I
do not own Gundam Wing I wish I did. However, I am an author and because of
that I can do things like this:
*Hopes into a huge gundam that appears to be a combo
of them all and disposes of lawyers* Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!
Now if you'll excuse me I have a fic to write.
Warning: This fic was started during a moment of
temporary insanity shortly after I saw episode one of Gundam Wing for the first
time (it's not my fault they took Gundam Wing off TOONAMI before I could). Of
course I had to stop running around they house attempting to sing "Just
Communication" (In English) first. Now that I am calm (yeah right) again I will
write my first humorous fanfic ever. I hope you enjoy it. Please Review!
Thanks!
Staring:
THE G-BOYS: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Wufei
Chang
THE G-Girls: Relena Darlain/
Peacecraft, Hilde Sheibaker, Catherine Bloom, Sally Po, and Lucrezia Noin
OZ: Millardo Peacecraft/ Zechs
Marquise, The Ghost of Treize Kushrenada, Lady Une (with glasses), Dorothy
Catalonia
TOONAMI: Tom2, Sara, and other
The Real Reason TOONAMI Brought Gundam
Wing Back
Written By BrittanyRae
Heero Yuy turned on his laptop and
heard the familiar words,
"You've
Got Mail!"
However much to his surprise there
was an email with the subject heading "Mission". Strange, Relena had finally
achieved total peace so why was he receiving a mission? Hmm, well he was
getting bored so he opened the email and read it.
To: Heero Yuy
From: BrittanyRae
I have to go do my homework so I'll make this short and
sweet. Your mission is to bring Gundam Wing back to TOONAMI programming.
After you complete that task you will eliminate the idiots at
Tripod.com for de-activating my account and accusing me of breaking rules. But
first you will get me a cappuccino. Good Luck!
After getting a cappuccino for the
author so that she could continue the fic (Mwahahahahahaha! Bow to me the
almighty Author) Heero re-read the rest of his mission and had only one thing
to say,
"Omae
O Korosu."
Meanwhile the other recipitents of
similar emails had comments of their own,
Duo: The God of Death is back in
Action!
Trowa: …
Quatre: Those _______ bastards! (Note
the crazed zero system look in his eyes)
Wufei: Injustice!
Relena: What! Pagan get the limo!
(Note it is no longer pink. Relena finally had some free time and she repainted
it)
Hilde: Duo I'm borrowing Deathscythe
Hell! (HeeHee)
Catherine: And I just finished
sharpening my knives too.
Sally: Wow! I never would have
guessed the preventers would be busy again this soon. #@%! I forgot to give
those guys their raise!
Noin: I better get a good mobile suit
for this mission! (Poor Noin)
Millardo: Mask or no Mask? Mask or no Mask? (DaDaDaDaDaDaDaa! BirdMan!)
Ghost of Treize: How I miss those
rose scented baths!
Lady Une: You're Excellency, I will
find away to bring you back to life and have some rose fragments ready in time
for you next bath.
Dorothy: Ahh, I wonder if Miss Relena
will be there? Ooo, I wonder if Toonami is trying to stage a Grand War. The
beauty of the bloodshed of war…
Duo: *whining* Hilde is my steak done
yet?
We interrupt this program to bring you,
Courage, The Cowardly Dog! Starring Courage! Abandoned as a pup he was found by
Muriel who lives in the middle of nowhere with her husband Eustace Bad. *Zzzt*
Stupid Dog! You made me look bad!
UggaBuggaBugga!
Relena: Why does the dog have to be
pink? And why does everyone think pink is my favorite color? I can't stand it!
Eww- My favorite color is lilac get that threw your skulls!
Duo: *singing that annoying Think
pink Barbie song* Think Pink, dododododododo…!
Ghost of Treize: *Imitating Aretha
Franklin very poorly* Think! Think about what you're tryin' to do to me aaaaow
Think! …
Author: Ahem!
The Group met outside that TOONAMI
spaceship.
"How do we
get in?" Sally wondered.
"You open
the door!" Duo said eagerly.
"There is
no door you baka!" Wufei grumbled.
"Oh…." Duo
began whining about not eating dinner and spending his salary on the stupid
email- sender's latté.
"I'm the
"stupid email- sender" and it wasn't a latte' it was a cappuccino!" yells a
voice from above! Duo cowers. Relena smiled,
"Like
this!" Relena pulled Heero's gun out of the pocket of his jacket (He's wearing
the Endless Waltz outfit) and blew a hole in the wall. Heero stared (Stop
drooling Heero!), so did everyone else. The G-Gang entered the spaceship and
ran into no other than the dreaded hand activated door!
"Oh no! Non
of our hands match the door!" exclaimed Trowa in horror.
"Oh, Oh! He
speaks!" Duo was on his knees waving his arms in the air and holding a hand to
his heart.
"Never
fear Hilde's here!" shouted Hilde.
"How
did you sneak into Libra anyway?" Millardo demanded.
"Oh,
spy-work is a natural talent. My parents were international spies before they
died. I saved them with the help of my little brother when I was 10. Then the
house blew up and I was the only survivor." She explained calmly. (Massive sweat dropping) Hilde took off her beret and reached into it. Out of Beret
Space she pulled a plastic glove that resembled Tom 2's hand,
put it on, and placed her hand in the
space. A female voice was heard,
"Access
granted." (Massive
sweat dropping)
Five
minutes later they'd finally arrived at their destination.
"Tom2!
You're dead meat!" Millardo yelled.
"Oh
really? You made it this far but can you survive this!" He opened a door and released a group of
hormone driven teenage girls.
"Mars
Star Power!"
"Mercury
Star Power!"
"Venus
Star Power"
"Jupiter
star Power!"
"Moon
Cosmic Dream Action!"
"Hey
the blonde one with meatballs had a sore throat!" Duo whispered. "Here's a
cough drop!"
"I
am Sailor Moon and on behalf of the Moon I will punish you!"
"?????"
Went the G-Gang.
"Mars
Celestial Fire Ignite!"
"Mercury
Bubble Blast!"
"Venus
Love Chain Encircle!"
"Jupiter
Sparkling White Blast!"
"Moon
Gorgeous-."
Massive
Sweatdropping
"Make
them stop! I'm getting a migraine!" Lady Une screamed.
"It's
not working! They've dodged all the attack's Serena!"
"Well
in that case-" gets down on knees and begs the G-Boys for mercy with waterfalls
of tears streaming from eyes.
Mexican
music is heard out of nowhere Tuxedo Mask appears and a rose lands at The
G-Gangs' Feet
"Don't give up yet Sailor
Moon! Here's Mini Moon! Now change into Super sailors!"
"UhHuh!"
Massive
Sweatdropping
"Oooohhhhhh!
A rose for your bath after I bring you back to life Your Excellency!" Lady Une
jumped for joy.
"What
are you a magician or something?" Relena asked.
"I'm
Tuxedo Mask!"
"Uh…Okay…Um…Heero
this guy's freaking me out!"
"Not
right now Relena! I'm a little preoccupied!" At the moment Heero was trying to
pry a short-skirted girl with long blonde hair, other wise known as Mina or
Sailor Venus, off of him.
"Grrr…Get
your hands off of him!" Relena aimed Heero's gun at the girl and BAM!!
Massive
Sweatdropping and staring
Duo finally found his voice
again,
"Umm,
one down six to go?"
BAM!!!
After
the smoke cleared there were 6 dead sailor scouts, and 1 dead guy in a cheap
tuxedo.
okay but what about this! Tom2 yelled.
"Umm…In
English?" asked a confused Wufei.
"Hmm…okay
but what about this!"
"What
about what?" Asked Noin.
"This!"
and he opened another door.
"Ryo
of the Wildfire!"
"Kento
of Hardrock!"
"Cye of
Torrent!"
"Sage
of Halo!"
"Rowen
of Strata!"
Catherine
was caught whispering to Trowa,
"The
one in orange is nearly Identical to Bumbo, the monkey we got yesterday!" Trowa
nodded his agreement.
"What's
with the wallpaper?" asked a perplexed Duo.
"Weaklings!"
Mumbled Wufei. He sneered at Sage, "Stupid Womanish looking disgrace to men!"
"What!
He's a guy!" Treize closed his mouth and stopped drooling (meanwhile the author
vomits).
"Looks
to me like a bunch of Elvis wannabes." Quatre commented.
"Who'd
want to be Elvis?" Heero asked, dazed. "You'd get fat and die from drugs."
Quatre shrugged.
Girls in
sluttish outfits appear: "If you wannabe my lover, You gotta get with my
friends, make it last forever, friendship never ends..."
All: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Author: *Zap* Okay back to the fic…
"I'll
take care of this!" Dorothy yelled as she released a mob of girls from the Sank
Kingdom.
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"
squealed the Ronin Warriors in high-pitched girlish voices.
"Go Dorothy! Not
even the perfect soldier would be able to survive them." Duo remarked.
"How
about this!" Tom2 opened a door and released the DBZ cast.
"Kaaaaamaaaaaaahhhhhmaaaaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Ducking
and Sweatdropping
"We'll
have to change into super sayins to beat them!"
"Wow
and I thought you guys had weird hair!" Lady Une commented.
"Yeah,"
Sally agreed. (Like those two should be talking)
The
G-Boys shrugged.
"So
how do we beat this group or weirdoes?" Duo asked.
"I've
got an idea!" said the Ghost of Treize, "Gather around."
"So
what's the plan Your Excellency?"
"WILL
YOU CUT WITH THE EXCELLENCY CRAP ALREADY!?" Millardo shouted.
Massive
Sweatdropping
"Anyway
the plan is…(whispering is heard)…(more whispering)…(pig sounds)…(whispering
again)."
Five
minutes later a tub of rose scented bathwater is dumped on the DBZ-gang and
massive screaming and crying is heard.
"BOO
HOO HOO BOOEY HOOEY HOOEY!" cried the DBZ-team in unison.
"Ha!
I knew they wouldn't survive it!" shouted the Ghost of Treize as he watched the
DBZ –team melt.
"Face
it Tom2 you'll never defeat the G-Gang!" bragged Treize.
"We'll
see about that! Sara release Tenchi and the girls!" he shouted.
"It's
Tenchi Muyo can anyone here sword fight?" Duo asked.
"Uh
yeah I can, you actually watch these shows?" Wufei looked at Duo confusedly.
"HeeHee-er-
go fight Wufei!"
While
Wufei and Tenchi are dueling it out…
"I,
Washu, will get rid of you all with my latest invention!"
"Release
the scientists Duo!" Trowa yelled… (wow Trowa yelled)
Duo
reached into the pockets of his pants and one by one pulled out the scientists
(???).
While
Washu and the Mad Scientists are battling over who's madder (is that a word?)…
"As
the princess of Jerai and the most beautiful girl here I command you to
surrender!" screamed Aiaika. Then she noticed Dorothy's eyebrows. "Eeeeek! You
need a makeover!"
While
Aiaika is distracted by cockroach lady…
"Come
on Ryookee!" screeched Salami-oops-Sasami.
Sasami
jumped into a now Gundam-like Reyookee. The gundam pilots looked skeptical. Out
of Hammer-Space Heero pulled Wing Zero out and Millardo pulled out Epyon and
they took care of the midget gundam pilot impersonator.
While
Heero and Millardo are getting rid of Sasami…
"This
agent Kionai- you are under arrest!"
???
"Okay
lady, put down the gun and no one gets hurt." Quatre told the blue haired
woman.
"Put
your hands up!" she shouted.
"*sigh*You
leave me no choice. Sic her!"
The
taco bell dog appears out of nowhere and starts licking Kionai's face.
"Achoo!
Achoo! How'd you –ACHOO! – know that I'm – Achoo! – allergic to dogs- ACHOO!?"
"I
have my sources." Quatre answered.
While
Kionai is sneezing…
"Look
a scratch and sniff sticker!" shouted Duo!
"Where?"
squealed an ecstatic Mihoshi.
"At
the bottom of that pool!" Duo told the girl. Five seconds later…
Blub,
Blub
"She's
not breathing," Noin said casually.
"Hn,"
Trowa replied.
Note: This is not meant in offense toward
blondes. My best friend is a blonde. I'm simply attempting to write a humorous
fic and Mihoshi happens to be a not so smart person who is also a blonde. By
the way, how come all the blonde jokes are about girls? How come they never
make fun of blonde boys?
While
Mihoshi is drowning…
"No
Tenchi you'll get hurt!" cried Ryoko.
Slice
"Oops,
sorry onna. You should have gotten in the way." Wufei remarked.
"Oh
no with out either jewel I'll be banished to the cave for eternity!" sobbed the two handed no jeweled space
pirate.
Bright
light and the demon is gone
Five
minutes later the Tenchi group is disposed of.
"Sara
release the next group!" yelled Tom2.
"Yes
Tom." Replied the feminine voice.
"I
am Gene Starwind, Pilot of the Outlaw Star!"
"Everybody is a star! Everybody is a star!
You're a star you're a Johnson's kid!"
Fizzle, Fizzle!
"Someone clean up that mess! Back to
the fic…"
Massive Sweatdropping
The G-Gang exchanged glances.
"In
the name of the GatouGatou (Or what ever they're called)!" screeched a woman
who was turning into some sort of wolf (Or something like that).
"Anyone
up for a little sword fighting?" said a Chinese woman. Wufei sighed,
"Here
we go again."
Meanwhile
Gene and Heero were having a shooting match (guess who's winning) and Duo and
Jim were having a whining match (and the prize goes to…Duo!).
Sports Reporter: Well folks we have
a battle going on between Asha and the Energizer bunny and it looks like the
energizer bunny is going to win. It
just keeps going and going and going and going…
"Hey
Trowa where'd you get the idea to sic the energizer bunny on the Cat Woman?"
Heero asked.
"I
had a dream. A dream where blah, blah, blah…" came Trowa's answer.
"???"
Heero responded.
"Where's
Relena?" asked Quatre.
"She
and Melfina are trying to decide which one has a more stressful job. The loser
has to go jump in a lake." Answered Duo.
"What
are their jobs?" asked the Ghost of Treize.
"Queen
of the World and Keeper of the Galactic Layline." Heero told him.
Moments
later it appeared that Melfina and Relena (hey that rimes) had become best
friends. The two girls had made a pact or treaty and agreed that they wouldn't
fight each other and with that the crew of the outlaw star packed up and left.
"Darn!"
whined Tom2.
"Give up?"
prompted Noin.
"Never!
Sara sic Batman on them!"
"As you
wish."
"Batman???"
asked the G-Gang.
"And
Robin." Tom2 told them.
"That's
it?" the G-gang asked.
"Yeah
Batgirl and Catwoman are vacationing in Honolulu." Tom2 informed them. (Little
do they know that the two are actually slaving away doing my homework and
cleaning my room and getting me more cappuccinos. I don't live in Honolulu.)
The G-Boys
grinned and picked up the points from Dorothy's eyebrows that Aiaika had
removed during the makeover and stabbed Batman and Robin to death with them
(Wow those things are sharp!).
"Anything
else Tom2?" asked Hilde between yawns.
"As a
matter of fact yes. Sara…"
"Yes Tom."
Theme
Music plays:
Blossom-
she runs around the leader
Bubbles-
she is a joy and a wonder
Buttercup-
yeah she's the toughest fighter
Powerpuff
save the d-(sound of a stereo be turned off)!
"Hey who
killed the music!" complained the green one.
"Okay girls
lets pulverize these villains!" yelled the pink one.
"But
Blossom, the blonde one is cute!" squeaked the blue one pointing at Quatre who
was sweatdropping.
The
powerpuff girls promptly get into a fight over what they should do and destroy
each other (ahhh! The joys of sisterly love! I happen to have two little
sisters). Tom2 sank to his knees,
"I give up!
We'll bring Gundam Wing back just don't hurt me!"
"See we
knew you'd see it our way." Hilde grinned.
Narrator: And so the day is saved
thanks to the Gundam Gang! Tune in next time to see how they beat up the idiots
at Tripod.com!
Author's Note: *finishes the 99th
cappuccino* Please review! Thanks! Byes!
~BrittanyRae~