I'm tired of all those stupid mistakes I'm making all the time. Therefore, I beg you: Is there anyone who's kind, generous, gentle, nice, brief: perfect enough to agree to be my beta-reader? Please! I'd love you forever and a day! (You can email me - zarah2@t-online.de - , or, if you prefer, there's also this nice little box at the end.)
Okay, now this part was, hopefully for the last time - hint, hint, nudge -, written without help and revision, so excuse my mistakes.
I'd love you to hate me
Part 4
Don't walk too close
Don't breathe so soft
Don't talk so sweet
Don't sing
Don't lay oh so near
Please don't let me fall in love with you
(Jewel, Don't)
***
"So?"
"What do you mean?"
"You wanted to explain the prank to me, remember?"
"Oh, yeah..." The only problem is that I don't know it myself. Curse me, why did I have to ask you to help me with a prank I didn't make up yet?
Lily and James were walking down the mainstreet of Hogsmeade, he was pretending to search for some money in his pockets in order to gain some time until he would have to answer her. Lily was watching him secretly, silently giggling about his hair that kept falling into his eyes just to be brushed out a few seconds later.
If you weren't so incredibly annoying, you could be extremely cute, you know. A shame your ego's the size of Snape's one. I have to admit that I like you more than him. Doesn't mean that I like you, though. I just don't hate you as much as Greasy.
"Couldn't you search for your money and explain at the same time?"
"Sure I can." I just don't know what to explain to you. - Why did I do this?
"Okay then, fire away."
"Erm..." James thought hard, desperately begging his brain for any idea, but he just wasn't able to think straight with her walking so close to him.
Although it's not that close, come to think of it. I wouldn't mind if you'd be closer. How about in my arms?
"Erm..." he started once again, trying to develop the prank while he was talking. "You see, there's this drawer in Filch's office, it's marked 'Dangerous objects'. Wouldn't it be nice to have a little look in there? Which would mean that we had to be alone in his office. Which would also allow us to do something to Mrs Norris' food. Get the point?"
"Yep." I'm not completely dumb, Potter! Not like all those girls that are following you wherever you are. "And how are you planning to arrange that?"
Actually, I don't know. "Um... I was thinking that... Maybe you could go into Filch's office, you tell him that you need to look up something in his list of forbidden objects. I don't have the faintest idea why, but all the profs and Filch, too, think that you're soooo innocent, therefore he won't suspect anything. I'll never understand how you manage to get away with everything." Well, that's not entirely right. This smile could make a guy jump out of the nearest window if you asked him to. Couldn't you give it to me? Only one time, that would be enough for me!
Lily shrugged. "Maybe it's because I don't make it so obvious that I'm guilty. Whenever you did something, everyone can tell it by your huge grin." I have to admit that you look cute with that mischievous grin, but it's not the smartest thing to do if you don't want to be punished.
"Oh, the actor trick." James raised a brow. "Anyway. So you'll go into Filch's office. And then there'll be a sudden explosion of Dungbombs, and he'll leave in a hurry. You'll have about 5 minutes till he comes back, enough time to bewitch Mrs Norris food and grab something out of the mentioned drawer."
She nodded. "That could work. Given the fact that you'd be able to throw those Dungbombs at the right time and the right place." Probably, even you can manage that.
"Evans, I've had six years of Dungmombs experience."
"Some people'll never learn it."
"Well, I'm not one of them, okay?"
"Okay, okay. I didn't mean it like that." Maybe I did, but as we're on truce...
"Yeah, right." Why can't you just be nice to me? Only from time to time? It would make me feel better. But I'm asking to much from you there. - Lily, why do you hate me so?
Out of a sudden impulse, James spoke the last thought out aloud. "Evans, why do you hate me?"
Because I don't want to know what the alternative of hating you would be.
They entered Zonko's Joke Shop, James looking at her expectantly as she kept quiet and didn't answer his question. Seeing that she wasn't going to say something, he grinned evilly. "I take it that you don't hate me, then. Do you like me?" Please say yes, please say yes!
"No!" she blurted out. A little too quickly, maybe. It's not a lie. I don't like you. I hate you. I really do. Or... "- But do you like me?"
"Nope." I don't like you. I love you. - Now, where did this one come from? Of course I don't love you. Do I? What a rubbish!
Lily didn't notice that his answer had come out even quicker than hers. She walked over to the table where the newest inventions were presented, wondering why she felt so disappointed.
You don't want him to like you, do you? Why would you want Mr. Bighead Potter to like you? This doesn't make any sense. It's just because it would be really funny to watch him kiss Snape. That's it.
"Hey, look at this!" James had followed her to the table and was now pointing at a hat. The sign next to it said:
Mind-reading hat. Looks exactly like the standard wizard hat and will yell out the thoughts of the person you'll give it to without him or her noticing it.
"Want to try it on?" he offered her grinningly.
"No." I'm not exactly interested in letting you know about my thoughts. "What about you?"
"Thanks, but no." My mind's completely out of control at the moment, I really don't want the hat to yell out that I think your eyes are beautiful. Although this is a fact, not only my opinion.
"Do you have any money with you?" Lily asked, jerking James out of his thoughts.
Noticing the evil spark in her eyes, his face cracked into a grin. "Who do you want to give it to?"
She grinned back, and neither of them noticed that they actually were looking at each other with a friendly expression and wordless understanding, instead of the usual frown. "Kert."
She was referring to the Potions teacher, a tall, unpleasant man of thirty. As he was the head of the Slytherin house, he hated every other students and, out of tradition, especially the Gryffindors.
"You're aware that this would be worth two weeks of detention?"
"Yep. Where's the problem?"
"Okay then. We share?"
"Can you advance my half?"
"Sure."
***
Sirius looked up from his potions homework when James entered the boys' dorm. He was lying on the floor, one leg leaning against Remus' bed, seemingly comfortable on the soft woolen carpet that was covering the floors of all the Gryffindor dorms to make them more cozy for their occupants. However, the moment he saw his friend, Sirius crumpled up his essay - James had caught sight of the words 'Kert', 'curse', 'long nose' and 'Azkaban', though - and jumped to his feet, glad to find an excuse for getting his mind to other things.
"How was your date with my darling Lily?"
James grinned from one ear to the other. "It was great. Guess what we found? A mind-reading hat! We want to give it to Kert, then it'll yell out every one of his thoughts during the next lesson!"
Sirius wriggled a brow. "So you had fun?"
"Hey, Lily will help us getting some stuff from Filch's office and bewitching Mrs Norris food!"
"Lily?" Now Sirius' expression changed from suspicion to amusement. "So it's no longer just 'Evans'?"
"What?" It took James a few seconds to get the message, then he turned a deep shade of purple.
"So you discovered that she's not that bad at all, didn't you?"
"Erm..."
"I take this as a yes."
"Uh..."
"Let me guess: You fell head over heels for her."
Still, no answer, muttering a few unintelligibly words and turning a deeper shade of red was all James did.
Enough for Sirius to prove the correctness of his words. He grinned evilly. "I knew that this would happen."
"How?" James mumbled, dropping down on his bed, gazing at the ceiling and throwing three or four of Sirius' school books on the floor during the process.
"I just know you too well, my dear Jamsie-boy."
"I didn't like her at all just two days ago!"
"Wrong. You didn't admit to anyone, not even to yourself, that you liked her, but you did it all the time."
"Not true!"
"Yes, it is." Remus had entered the dorm at the right time to hear Sirius' words and James' reply and immediately guessed that Lily was the topic.
"No!" James glared.
Remus made himself comfortable on his own bed and yawned. "It is true, Jamie. She's one of the few girls who's not running after you, and you like that."
"None of the Slytherin's running after me, and I still don't like them."
"They are neither pretty nor smart. Lily's both. And she loves pranks."
"Yeah, especially pranks that humiliate me."
"Oh, come on, she never went too far. Hey, I even think she did a good job there, she prevented you from becoming too pleased with yourself."
"It's good to know that your friends are always there to build you up."
"We're just telling you the truth, James. Heck, there was this week in our fifth year, after the fabulous match versus Slytherin, I could hardly stop myself from blowing your head off! You were practically snogging with a different girl every five minutes. You only stopped this insanity when Lily made you fly around the Great Hall at dinner."
James turned even a deeper shade of red, but didn't say anything.
Remus and Sirius glanced at one another. "So what are you going to do about this?"
"Do?" James stared at Sirius. "Nothing, of course. Firstly, you're in love with her. And secondly: Lily and me? She hates me!"
"Number one's not a problem, Prongs. I don't love Lily, I just really, really like her, and I also think that she's cute and would make a wonderful girlfriend, but unlike you, I don't love her."
"I don't..." James started crossly, but was cut off.
"... deny that I love her." Remus smirked.
"Who do you love?" Peter had just opened the door and walked in, trying to join the conversation without attracting too much attention.
"Me? Nobody." Remus smiled encouragingly at the little boy. "But James here's got it bad."
"You and Sirius decided that I'm in love!"
"Yeah, and aren't we right?"
Once again, James didn't say anything, he just sighed and closed his eyes. Not for long, though, as the picture of some green eyes kept appearing in his head, so he quickly opened them again, just to find Sirius and Remus staring at him with certain evilness on their faces while Peter was shuffling through his bag, muttering something about Charms homework.
"Jamie-boy..."
"What?" James narrowed his eyes, not liking the tone at all.
"D'you remember the parchment you signed for me?" Sirius grinned broadly.
James paled. "Oh my God, Padfoot, please... Don't..."
"Aw, but you promised!"
"But... I can't kiss Snape! Lily'd know that I like her then!"
"Would that be so bad?"
"She hates me!"
"How can you be so sure? Maybe she doesn't want to admit to herself that she likes you."
"You bet." was the sarcastic answer.
"Prongs, Lily or not, it was a promise."
"Couldn't you at least give me some time?"
"Didn't the parchment say that you'll kiss him the moment you find yourself liking her?"
Sirius shuffled through his books, then pulled out the note, looking triumphantly. He threw it to Remus who read it aloud.
"I, James Harold Potter, promise to kiss Severus Snape the moment I find myself liking Lily Evans.
Signed: James Potter - Sorry, James, no reprieve."
"Oh no..." James buried his head under the pillow.
"Well..." Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance, then the last one spoke. "You're lucky we're your friends, James. We'll give you a month."
"Two weeks!" Sirius contradicted immediately.
"Three."
"Okay. So you'll have three weeks to make her yours before kissing Snape, Jamie-boy."
James sighed. "How do you manage to make a girl, who hated you since you first met her, love you in three weeks? And it's not as if I'm the only one who's after her."
Sirius shrugged. "That, Prongs, is not our problem."
***
"How can we do it?"
Lily and James were sitting together in the common room in chairs at the back of the room, the same day but a few hours later. For once, they weren't yelling or arguing with each other, instad, they were putting their heads together, trying to find a way to exchange the mind-reading hat for Kert's one.
"Okay. I know how we can do it, Lily."
She stared, completely amazed by the fact of not being called Evans by him, but as he acted as if he hadn't noticed anything unusual, she decided to keep her mouth shut.
"But before I'm going to tell you the secret of my success, you have to promise not to tell a soul."
"What is it?"
"Promise me!"
"Okay, okay, I promise. So what is it?"
"An invisibility cloak. We can sneak into Kert's office and exchange the hats tonight."
Lily gasped. "Where did you get it from?"
"My father. He said I should have some fun at Hogwarts." James grinned. "Now, are we going to do it like that?"
"Tonight?"
"Why don't? The first thing we have tomorrow is a Potions double lesson, therefore we can enjoy our prank to the full."
"Okay. But I need to get some sleep before. Can you wake me up at two?"
"Sure."
Actually, James expected Lily to get up and disappear in the direction of her dorm, so he was a little irritated when she yawned, curled herself up in her chair and closed her eyes.
"'Night, Po..." she hesitated for an instant, then corrected herself. "'Night, James."
"Night Lil." He smiled at her, knowing that she couldn't see it, then leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes as well, ordering his brain to wake him up at about ten minutes before two in the morning.
***
Lily stirred and opened her eyes. She didn't know what had woken her up. Most likely a nightmare, she still thought to see the common room gleaming in a strangely green light, although there were only the shades of the dancing flames on the wall. James was sleeping in the chair in front of her, both legs hanging over the armrest, a slight smile on his lips, but his forehead set in a frown nonetheless. She was startled how relieved she felt when she saw him, almost as if she didn't expect to see him ever again.
This wouldn't be a bad thing, not to see him anymore, would it? Or maybe it would. His constant annoyance sort of belongs to my life. I think I'd be pretty bored without him, at least I don't have to be gentle if I don't want to, just out of fear that I might hurt his feelings. It's a nice break. Although I'm never nice to him. Why not, though? Well, probably he'd have a heart fit if I was.
Lily leaned a bit closer to James.
When he's sleeping like that, then I can even understand why the girls are all drooling over him. He is kinda cute, the tall, handome type, I guess. Completely different to Sirius, though. Or Remus. Sirius is more the bad boy type, funny, mischievous, cute, and completely insane. Remus... The mysterious one, though friendly and sweet, there's always this mysterious aura around him. None of the girls that are following him around knows that he's a werewolf, though. I wonder if that's why he never had a girlfriend? Because he was afraid that he might find himself caring for her, and then, when she found out about his secret, that she hated him? - Now, James... It's the charm of everything that's hard to get. It's not a problem to get a kiss from him, but true feelings? Most of them are after his love, they want to become his girlfriend. No chance there, but that's what makes them go crazy about him. The challenge. All they see in him is the good looking guy, fabolous Chaser and captain of the Gryffindor team. I wonder if he ever gets sick of this?
When she saw his eyelashes tremble, Lily quickly slumped back in her chair and closed her eyes, pretending to be fast asleep in order not to let him notice that she had been staring at him for quite a while. James yawned and stretched himself - being the athletic one, he was always careful to stretch his body before getting up, a habit that both amazed and frightened Peter every morning he was James watching doing his warm-ups. When James took a look at his watch, he found out that he had fifteen minutes left till two, which meant the quarter of an hour for him to think about the mess he was in at the moment. First, there was this promise to kiss Snape, just because he liked Lily. A thought that made his gaze wander over to the girl, who was curled up in front of him, her hair hanging into her face.
I could brush this strand out of her face and then kiss her. Yeah, I definitely could do this. But I mustn't. Mustn't do this, it's not a good idea. Not at all. Why do I still want to do it? I'm out of my mind, that's it. Blame Sirius, he probably gave some lovepotion to me. Which would mean that I really am in love with her. Not likely. She hates me! Well, doesn't mean that I hate her, too... Damn, how could this happen? How - and why - did I fall in love with Lily? With Evans? Carrot-head? Why did I have to fall in love with the only girl I can't get? Yeah, I know what you'd say, Moony, Padfoot: Exactly because of that. Because it makes her special that she's not one of those giggling, drooling and empty-headed dolls. Know what, you two? Maybe you're even right. But not entirely. It's also her looks. And no, Moony, you don't have to frown at this, every guy pays attention to a girl's looks! And in case of Lily, it's rather difficult not to think about it.
Checking his watch, James decided that this had been enough thinking and staring for tonight and crawled over to the chair Lily was apparently sleeping in. He hesitated for an instant, torn between three possibilities. Number one: Bending down and kissing her forcefully on the lips, seeing if this would have the same effect like it was told in the muggle fairy tale, Sleeping Rose or whatever it was called. Number two: Shake her gently to wake her up. Number three: Leaning as close to her ear as possibly, then let out a loud boo.
James chose number two, it was sort of a compromise between number one and three, and besides, it would prevent him from trying to do number three just to change his mind in the last moment and actually do number one. So he went over to her chair and gently touched her shoulder.
"Evans? Lily, wake up!"
"Huh?"
She looked positively sweet with those ruffled hair and sleepy eyes, James decided. "Time to go." he explained.
"What? - Oh, yeah." She yawned, then got up. "So, where's this cloak?"
"Wait here, I'll be right back."
James rushed up the stair, not too careful about not making too much noise, then walked into his dorm, not caring in the slightest bit about the protesting and tired voices of his friends when he switched the glowing stones on to find his cloak. He grabbed it, then left, calling a cheerful 'Goodnight' over his shoulder, and climbed down the stair to the common room where Lily was already waiting for him, now that she was completely awake, he noticed a mischievous spark in her eyes and couldn't help but smile at her before throwing the cloak over the both of them.
*****
Whee! Not that long, but it was okay, I guess. And considering that I already posted the second part of 'As we go on...' two days ago, I'm positively proud of myself. Looks like I've finally gotten rid of those writer's block! Was about time!
You people asked for Lily's thoughts, well, there you are. I hope you're all happy now. And I'll come to her parents' death later, be patient. I didn't decide yet what I'll do to Mrs Norris. But she won't be dyed another colour, I think, 'cause we already had that. I don't want to repeat things, it would get boring. No no, I'll find something else, thanks for all your ideas!!!!!!! A @---- to all the wonderful people who tried to help me. And now it's time for the usual...
Disclaimer: Same as ever. Don't own them. Never will. I only own the four books. Yay!
Firebolt7: My boyfriend and me are like Lily and James? Oh my God, noooo! I don't want to marry him! *quickly bents to one side in order not to be caught by him* I think he should search for another girl that wants to iron his trousers. Actually... No, I think he should search for another girl in... let's say, three years? That would be fine with We'll ma GIMME BACK MY KEYBOARD!!! He's going to make me crazy! Sorry, have to tickle him. Lucky he's ticklish and I'm not. *grins evilly* - So, I'm back. Where was I? - Red cordial? That was definitely not me. I was the one who wrote to you about the thirty kbs of your review.
Hermione Gulliver: I don't know how many parts there'll be. Ten, maybe. Or less. Or more. It's just that the story develops itself while I'm writing it, so I don't have any idea what'll happen in the next part. Not yet. We could make it like that: Every review I get = one more part. *g* J/K. Honestly, maybe the next part's the last one. Probably not, though, but who knows? I don't.
Cassie: I have to do a report about Leonardo da Vinci today. Just because I was a little bit too late for my lesson. Fifteen minutes or so... Anyway, I'll write tomorrow, promise. PS: Glad your Physics mark's not my fault! ;-) PPS: Erm, your teacher locked two of you in the cupbord? He's not a bit... insane, by sheer chance, is he?
Ana:): Those colours sucked! Green and orange, yuck! Well, maybe I'll use red and pink for the next one... *grins evilly*
Gurl:Of course I write back to all my reviewers, well, at least to those who asked me something. If people take the time to review my story, then I can at least thank them in answering their questions. BTW, the love potion's not bad... We'll see about that...
Unicorn Child: Well, I suffered from writer's block, but I'm recovering. And no, I didn't abandon 'Nail'. Erm, that means, 'Nail' is finished, of course, but I guess you were referring to 'As we go on'. And I finally uploaded the second part of it on Saturday. Or was it Friday? I don't know.
Hallie Mary Potter: Zinke means cornet? Well, that would be new for me. And as I'm speaking German a tiny little bit better than English *g*, I think that the person who told you this made a mistake. Zinke... There's the German word 'Zink'. Zink is this metal, how's it called in English? Zinc? Something like that, I think. And then, there's 'Zinken'. A very colloquial term for Snape's nose (long and big, you know...). Do you speak German, by the way? - As for Mrs Norris: Just as I said: We'll see about that.... I'm evil, I know. *g* And proud of it, too.
Jessie: Could you please check your account? I've tried four times to send this e-mail to you, and also to send the other one back to you, but the messages came back to me, with a headline, telling that your address was unknown. And I'm absolutely sure that I spelled everything right! But still, it doesn't work.
MoonSerpent, kristen: Did you recognize some of your ideas in this part? No surprise there, I have to thank you for your suggestions. Viola, MoonSerpent? I played the violin for some time, and also the transverse flute, the last one for an orchestra, too. It was awful! Did you ever have to play in front of - huh, I don't know, two- or threethousand people? *shudders at the memory* And of course I was late. I'm always late. And so I had to push my way through the crowd, dressed in this penguin-like black-and-white robe we had to wear... Awfull!!!
Flora: Yep, I know this was quite strange with the titles, first, it was ch.1, then it was nothing, and then it was part 3... - I wanted to divide it into parts since the second one, but it did't accept the whole title for some strange reason I don't know. And my stupid computer doesn't let me edit it. So, sorry about that...
Amanda: I write it with Microsoft Word, there's this function 'Save as html-file'. (File/Save as/and then you have to chose 'html'. That's how it works with my computer, anyway.) If it doesn't work... Erm, I could try it. But I dunno if I can do it.
Hermione Black: I can understand this whole homework-thing... I should do some, too, I just don't want to... And there's also this Leonardo da Vinci report... Ugh!
Morgana le Fay: Well, the Italian guys aren't exactly what you'd call shy... *grins broadly* But they're charming, really. Most of them. *jumps out of her boyfriend's reach* Some of them came back last weekend to visit us. It was funny, I can't wait to go to Italy! It's much warmer than Germany... I hate winters... No, that's not entirely right. I hate winters as long as the weather's bad and there's no snow. The weather's nice at the moment, but I'm missing the snow...