Can you believe it? Me neither. But it's true. Finally, eventually, I managed to write the last part of this story. Yes: It's finished! And I'm so glad it is. Here's a piece of advice: Never try writing two stories at the same time...
Also, before you can start reading, I have to add that I'm sorry if there are several mistakes in this part, but for some reaso, my beta-reader is offline or something like that. Allie, whatever it is, wether you're sick or if I have to blame your computer: Thanks anyway. You've been a great help!
I'd Love You To Hate Me
Part 8
Touch my skin and tell me what you're thinking
Take my hand and show me where we're going
Lie down next to me
Look into my eyes
And tell me, oh tell me what you're seeing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling
What you feel is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
I'll always be alone, if I'm lying to you
Dido, Take My Hand
James was having a wonderful time waiting for the waitress to finally pass him their drinks. Right now, the bar seemed quite a good place to be, far away from anyone or anything he knew, above all far away from a certain girl he wouldn't mind having around day and night. Usually. But not after he just decided - with a little help from Sirius - to finally confess his feelings for her. After all, he was running out of time, considering that the Halloween Feast would be celebrated in two days. And Halloween was it. The deadline. Armageddon. In other words: The day he had to live up to his promise and kiss Slimy a.k.a. Severus Snape. And he sure as hell wouldn't kiss that ugly-faced troll before talking to Lily.
Maybe Sirius and Remus even forget about the promise when she rejcts me. Pity can be pretty useful.
A moment later, James shook his head at his own thoughts. This can't possibly be so hard, can it? All you have to do is walk up to her, look her in the eye and say: "Lily, I am falling for you." So, where's the problem? Come to think about it: In the "and say" part, probably. What are the chances to hear her answer: "Oh James, I'm so glad that you finally had the courage. I love you, too."? I wouldn't even dare to bet a lonely old button on it.
His thoughts were interrupted by the waitress placing the two drinks in front of him so that he could take it to the table. Much too soon, for James's taste. He wouldn't have minded standing at the bar for another two hours, even if he felt that he would have been looking like an ordered, but no longer desired item. Everything to have more time to prepare for the overdue conversation lying ahead of him.
Although I doubt that more time would help me to calm down. More like the contrary. Breathe, James. Take a few deep breaths. In... and out... and in... - As if this were really some help. Oh well, a guy can try.
- Hey, I could hate her again. She's the reason for the mess I'm in, isn't she? It's all because of her. Because of her, I'm standing here, looking like a fool, not daring to even glance in her direction. Because of her, I have to kiss Slimy. Isn't that enough reason to hate her? It definitely is. Yes, absolutely...
Picking up the drinks, he turned and looked around, his eyes searching for Lily. He found her sitting at a table near the window, a book lying open in front of her, a few strands of hair hanging in her face. He sighed deeply.
Okay, obviously the hate-thing isn't going to work. So that brings me back to telling her about my feelings. Great. Here I am, rambling and talking to myself. Again! I swear, that girl isn't good for me. Neither is my cowardice, though. - I'll just go and tell her. Now.
Shaking his head to clear his slightly confused thoughts, he took a determined step and finally found the courage to return to the table he shared with Lily. Any other time, he would have cursed the large group of wizards that were sitting between him and her, but right now that only meant that he would have to make a detour. Which was more than welcome as it meant more time. Slowly approaching her from behind, he tried to figure out what to tell her, but all he could think of was his increasing panic. So he did the first thing that came to his mind and cleared his throat. She jumped up, nearly knocking the drinks out of his hands, until she realized that it was him and she sat down again, giving him a half reproachful look as he took the chair in front of her.
"Hey! You scared me."
"Uh, sorry." He gave her an uneasy grin and shifted his weight.
"Yeah, sure." She grinned back. "Bet that was what you wanted in the first place."
He shook his head emphatically. "Not true. I just... wanted to jerk you out of your studies. Anyway. Um, Lily?"
"Yup?"
"We... Well, I guess there's something I have to tell you... It will sound kinda stupid, I guess, but... There's something you have to know..."
"James?"
"...Yeah?"
"Just say it."
"Promise you won't laugh?"
She nodded her head, not even thinking for a second.
James sighed silently. All around them, he could hear the noise caused by the other customers, their conversations, raised voices, their laughter, but it only made him feel more alone, apart from them. They had a good time. After all, they didn't have to confess their feelings to the girl they loved. They didn't have to expect her bursting out laughing.
He shook himself inwardly, turned to look Lily fully in the eyes - and had to realize that his voice was gone. He gulped a few times, trying hard to ignore her expectant expression.
I can do this. Now is my chance. I can do this.
"Um... You know... Well, I was thinking we could... um, you know..."
I can't. No matter what Sirius and Remus will say, I can't.
"There's this book in the Library, and we were thinking that maybe the solution has to do with love. For our assignment, I mean. Stronger than death, remember? The book's called something like The Power Of Love, but it's in the Restricted Section, so we might have trouble getting it. And I was thinking that maybe we could sneak out tonight and get it. Is that fine with you?"
He noticed her eying him strangely, but put on a confident expression, not showing any sign that indicated his relief that was, at the same time, mixed with disappointment.
She nodded slowly, still looking quite confused and maybe... disappointed as well? James wasn't sure, but he decided that this was not the right time to think about it.
Lily shrugged. "Yeah, sure. I hope it will be some help. We really need it. Although I don't know why you had such trouble in telling me this."
Choosing to ignore her question, James rose to his feet, all of a sudden not thirsty anymore. "I... It's high time to leave, Lil. I have detention in barely half an hour, and we're not exactly supposed to be here in Hogsmeade."
"Okay."
With a last glance at her butterbeer, the girl stood up as well and slowly followed James out of the pub, her mind still busied with the strange behaviour he had just shown.
***
See my eyes, they carry your reflection
Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you
Give your trust to me
And look into my heart
And show me, show me what you're doing
So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling
What you feel is what I feel for you
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
I'll always be alone, if I'm lying to you
Dido, Take My Hand
James could see her walking down the stairs, then in his direction, probably on her way to the Great Hall and already a little late for the Halloween Feast. He closed one eye to have a better view through the crack of the door, hidden from view in a room, but able to see everything that was going on. For a short moment, the doubts were back, but with all the determination he could muster, he forgot about them and concentrated his every thought on the girl that was now approaching. Nine steps until she would pass him, eight... He prepared himself.
Out of nowhere, Lily could feel someone reaching for her hand, pulling her through a door in a little room, almost empty except a velvety blue sofa. Not that she had time to look around her. She had hardly the time to gasp for some air and recognize James as her kidnapper before his face was too close for her to see anything else, and even coming closer until his eyes were the only thing she could see at all. Not that I need to see anything else was her last thought before she could feel their lips touching and her eyes fell shut.
This can't be true. This is a movie. It's a dream.
But his kisses, soft and demanding at the same time, were so real that she couldn't think any longer that it was only a dream with open eyes. Everything went by in a blur and she wouldn't have been able to tell what came over her. All she knew was that she kissed back just as demanding.
Neither Lily nor James knew how much time had passed in the little room when James pulled back only a few inches, just enough to see her face. He couldn't help grinning happily when she opened her eyes after a second or two, looking like waking up from a pleasant dream. He watched her expression change from dreamy to confused, but when she gazed up at him with wide, questioning eyes, his grin only broadened. Before she even could think about a question, he shook his head. "Don't ask, Lil. Wait two more minutes and you'll know. Till then, just wait, okay?"
As she didn't trust herself to speak, she nodded faintly as he took her hand and dragged her out in the corridor and in direction of the Great Hall.
***
Take your time, if I'm lying to you
I know you'll find that you believe me
You believe me
Feel the sun on your face
And tell me what you're thinking
Catch the snow on your tongue
And show me how it tastes
Take your time
Take my hand and if I'm lying to you
I'll always be alone, if I'm lying to you
Take your time and if I'm lying to you
I know you'll find that you believe me
You believe me
Dido, Take My Hand
All heads turned towards the Entrance of the Great Hall when the doors flew open and two adolescents, both with slightly ruffled looks, entered and made their way to the front. Lily could practically feel all eyes on her, but James didn't mind at all. Now that he had the answer he needed, he was fine. Well, maybe not fine, his next task would definitely be one of the most terrible experiences of his life, but even having to kiss Snape wouldn't be enough to ruin his day. Nothing would be enough to ruin his day. Lily had kissed him back, and that was all he needed to know.
They had reached the front. Before she had any time to react, James let go of Lily's hand and jumped on the table, giving her a reassuring smile before doing so. Knowing all eyes on himself, James looked around in the Hall, winking at Sirius and Remus who were both staring at him, mouth hanging open. He grinned secretly, then took a deep breath and prepared himself inwardly for his speech, although remaining perfectly calm on the outside.
"Hello everone!" James was surprised at how loud his voice was, the acoustics were better than he had expected. But now was not the right time to think about that. He cleared his throat and gave everyone a - in his opinion - rather nervous grin. "Okay. I guess you're all wondering what I'm doing up here. I have my reasons, believe me. Actually, there are three reasons, to be exact. The first reason is Sirius. Why? Because of his extremely weird sense of humor. The second one? Well, I am the second reason. Because I don't know when to promise things and when I'd better not. And last but not least: The third reason. The third reason is Lily, just because she's the girl she is."
At the teachers's table, Kert was getting up, without any doubt with the intention to reach James in order to give him a full month of detention, but Dumbledore stopped him, and the Potions teacher sat down again, his expression furious, while everyone else was listening with great interest as James continued his speech.
"You probably don't know what I'm talking about, so I'll just explain, okay? Well, there was this time - actually, it's only about a month ago - when Lily and I couldn't stand each others presence. And you know what? When Sirius dared me to, I was stupid enough to promise him that I'd kiss Snape if I should ever find myself liking her."
The boy at the Slytherin table, hair as greasy as ever, went pale and made a move to rush out of the Hall, but thanks to a spell from Remus, he had to find out that moving was impossible. He clenched his fists, but knew that there was nothing he could do without his wand. And his wand lay on his nightstand.
James had paused to watch Snape's reaction, enormous amusement evident on his face. When he glanced at Lily, he could see that the confusion had disappeared and was now replaced with anticipation and a clearly visible smile. In order not to lose the thread, James averted his gaze and spoke once again to the assembled students.
"Okay, and now, here's my problem: I said I wasn't going to like Lily. And I was right." When saying so, James locked his eyes with Lily's. He noticed that hers had become huge, and as he didn't want to give her the wrong impression, he quickly continued, not averting his eyes. "See, just as I said, I don't like her. I love her."
Once again, he paused and concentrated on Lily's reaction to his words. First, confusion was evident on her face, in her eyes, then it was quickly replaced by disbelief, and only a moment later, the joy took over. He grinned at her, a happy, broad grin that she instantly returned.
If Sirius and Remus hadn't chosen exactly that moment to interrupt, dragging a struggling Snape along with them, both of them would have forgotten about the promise, the other students, brief: about everything around them. As Sirius tapped his shoulder, James jumped, then turned around and made a face at the sight of the Slytherin, but one look at Sirius's enthusiastic expression told him that there was no way out. He sighed loud enough for the whole hall to hear.
"You know, if there was a way to turn back the hands of time, I'd undo that stupid promise. Sadly, there isn't, so let's just get over with this, the sooner, the better."
Too quick for Snape, he grabbed the boys's face, pressed his lips against Snape's and pulled back as soon as he felt the slightest touch. While the Slytherin was staring up at him in a sort of trance, not blinking, not moving, not showing any sign of life, James rubbed his mouth with one hand, obviously in an attempt to get rid of a bad taste. By now, the previous silent Great Hall was filled with noise. Some students started clapping, others were laughing too hard to join in the applause, only the Slytherin table was deadly quiet, the Slytherins sat there glaring at everyone and everything, but especially at the cheering Gryffindor table.
Taking advatage of the chaos, James left the table and joined Lily who was still standing where he had left her, clearly waiting for him. A smile was tugging at the corners of her mouth.
"Lil?"
"Hmm?"
He put on his best puppy dog face. "Could you kiss me again? It would make everything better."
A grin threatening to break through, she shook her head. "Nah. I won't kiss anything Snape touched." Seeing his disappointed look, the grin finally spread on her face. "I suggest we go to the Bathroom first, then you can wash your mouth."
"Ooh." He laughed. "So you'll finally take that shower with me?"
"Nope." She squeezed his hand while following him out of the Hall. "But you know that you can always try to convince me."
******
It's over! Yuppie! I'm sooo glad I finished this, even if it the ending wasn't as good as it could be. Maybe I'll fix it later, I don't know yet. All I know is that for now, it's over!
Actually, I wanted to thank every reviewer personally, just as in Nail A Pudding On The Wall, but with this new chaptering system of FFN, it's not possible as I can only take a look at the last hundred reviewers. But if you reviewed, then you can feel hugged right now.
Whoa, my last round of question and answer, at least for this story. A reason to get all sentimental? Nah.
LadyLyra: You want to know since when I've been a member at FFN? Uh, I don't know. Must have been somewhere around the begeinning or teh middle of September 2000 that I joined the community, I think.
Roarke: Yeah, as long as we're not concerned, it's very easy to know what's going on. I guess that's because we don't expect anything, we aren't prejudiced or partial, therefore it's only lgical that we can see things more clearly.
Christa Crabbe: Sorry, no Speedo, it just doesn't fit. And hey, how could I know what a Speedo is? It's not mentioned in my dictionary. But now that you explained the whole thing, I think it's the same as a Stringtanga in German.
Zannuuh: I was thinking about that, too. But somehow, I don't think that J. K. Rowling made a mistake. There are editors and so on, and if it wasn't intentional, then at least one of them would have noticed, don't you think so? No, it probably will make sense in the end. At least I hope it will.
Nick: The Nearly Headless one? Sir Nicholas de Whatsoever?
Alex: Yeah, I like Enya. She isn't exactly famous in Germany, but a lot of people know her.