A little common sense

One happy shiny day, the Digidestined were doing what they do best: Nearly killing each other.
"Alright T.F., let's settle this once and for all! Kari's MINE!" Davis snarled at his blonde
nemesis.
"Come on Goggle Boy, let's go!" T.K. growled, bristling. The two boys circled each other as
best they could in the cramped computer room.
Hopping onto a table, Gatomon said to Kari, "Shouldn't we stop them?"
Smiling as serenely as only Kari can, the spandex-loving girl replied, "Ordinarily I'd agree
Gatomon, but I bet Demiveemon 10 dollars that T.K. would win." Demiveemon leaped up and
chirped, "No way Davish will loosh!", to which Gatomon responded with an facefault off the
table. Cody and the other Digimon wisely stayed quiet and sweatdropped.

Just as Davis and T.K. were about to claw each other to shreds, Yolei burst into the room.
"I brought snacks!" she warbled, and dropped several bags of junk food on the floor for the
Digimon. As the creampuffs stuffed their cute little faces, Cody asked the question that had
was on everyone's minds.
"So Yolei," he rasped, "How do you afford all this food?"
"Well, you see Cody, for extra cash I submit myself to medical testing to check which new
medicines have really nasty side effects. That's also why I need glasses the size of
dinner plates!" Yolei smiled her funny little ^_^ smile. Everyone blinked.

Finally, Poromon pried himself away from the food long enough to squeak, "Come on Yolei, let's
go to the Digital World!"
"Oh yeah, DIGIPORT OPEN!" Yolei yelped, holding out her Digivice dramatically. The kids and
their Digimon were sucked into the computer through the miracle of a transportation sequence
with funky music.

Once in the Digiworld, the Digidestined looked around at the forest they had landed in, and
spotted Ken on a hilltop.
"Hey Ken!" Davis yelled, "How many control spires have you and Stingmon destroyed so far?"
The indigo-haired boy turned around from watching his bug destroy stuff. "Oh, hello everyone."
he said cordially. "What a coincidence that you should end up in the exact place I am. We've
destroyed 47 control spires so far, which is funny because we've been destroying them for
weeks and they seem to be getting closer and closer together." He gestured to where a line
of control spires made a picket fence-like line off into the distance. Stingmon paused in his
Lightening Striking to wave to Veemon.
Davis turned to his friends and declared, "Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's Digivolve!"
"Right." everyone else agreed.

"Veemon, Digivolve to...Exveemon!"
"Hawkmon, Armor Digivolve tooo...Shurimon! The samauri of sincerity!"
"Armadillomon, Armor Digivolve to...Digmon! The drill of power!"
"Gatomon, Armor Digivolve to...Nefertimon! The angel of light!"
"Patamon, Armor Digivolve TO...Pegasusmon, flying hope!"

The computer effects died down and the Digimon held their impressive poses for a moment, then
flew off to start smashing control spires. "Hey, I can't fly...!" Digmon whined, stomping off
to do some Rock Crackin'.

"Well Digidestined, we meet again." a familiar frosty voice said. The Digidestined paused from
their destruction to see Arukenimon sitting in her Jeep with Mummymon. The evil duo laughed
diabolically.
"Oh great, you again." T.K. muttered.
"Whatever you've got planned, we can beat it, so why don't you just stop trying?" Kari snapped.
"Come on Ken, let's DNA Digivolve and beat her!" Davis said to Ken, who nodded firmly.
Chuckling menacingly, Arukenimon purred, "Oh, you kids are so cute when you think you have a
chance." She started transforming into her Digimon form while explaining her evil plan. "All
this time I've been doing things the hard way. Defeating you children in battle will be much
easier after I do THIS!"

Before the Digidestined Digimon could react in defense, Arukenimon flicked out her Spider
Thread and seized all 6 Digivices, while the kids gasped incoherently. Handing the devices
to Mummymon, the villainess snapped, "Destroy these, and then we can rule the entire Digital
World!"
Looking at the D3's, Mummymon ventured, "But Arukenimon, wouldn't that kind of wreck the
dynamics of the show...?"
She snarled, grabbed him by the collar, and threw him into a nearby rock wall.
"I love it when she does that...." Mummymon murmured, sliding painfully to the ground.
"Excuse me, but we were having a dramatic moment!" Yolei screeched.
"Oh yes, don't let that little interruption stop your fun." Arukenimon said cooly, "Spider
Thread!" With that attack, Digmon lay twitching in defeat. He glowed and reverted to
Armadillomon as the Digiegg of Knowledge was sucked back into Cody's Digivice.
"Armadillomon!" Cody cradled his Digimon, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm feelin' great!" Armadillomon snapped. The boy and the Digimon blinked. "Uh...I
mean...I've been better...." the armadillo Digimon stammered, then conviniently passed out.

Nefertimon and Pegasusmon's boots glowed as they soared past each other. "Golden noose!"
they cried, swooping towards Arukenimon, but she jumped straight up and they crashed into each
other. Struggling to get free of the Golden Noose and her horse partner, Nefertimon muttered,
"How cozy." The two flying Digimon de-Digivolved, and Gatomon and Patamon lay in a weary, if
comfortable, pile.

"Really, you two! Now is not the time." Shurimon boomed, as Kari and T.K. picked up their
Digimon. "Doublestar!" A spinning black gear-like blade flew towards Arukenimon. "Hey, that's
not a Doublestar! Stupid dubbers...." the samauri grumbled. She managed to dodge this attack as
well, and Spider Threaded Shurimon. He plummeted to the ground and de-Digivolved to Hawkmon,
who was quickly scooped up by a near-hysterical Yolei.

"Come on Ken, we need Paildramon!" Davis exclaimed, clenching his fists determinedly.
"Uh, Davis, we need our Digivices for that. And besides, I'd rather not enter your head more
than necessary." Ken said meekly.
"Such insolence! I'm the leader and my stupidity goes!" Davis wound up to smack Ken, but Cody
stopped him. "Hold on Davis, you've already bitchslapped Ken! It's my turn!"
Kari dropped Gatomon and trotted over. "I thought it was my turn...?"
"We'll flip a coin." Cody said, pulling out a coin, "Call it."
"Tails! Gatomon is also called Tailmon!" Kari beamed, as Cody peered at the result of the flip.
"Call your cat whatever you want, Queen Perky. You win." Cody muttered, putting away his coin
and returning to cuddling Armadillomon.
"Yay!" Kari chirped. She backhanded Ken and skipped back over to Gatomon.

"Well we can still fight, even if it doesn't help the show's yaoi quotient!" Stingmon hummed,
"Lightening Strrrike!" By some feat of agility, Arukenimon dodged this attack as well, stomping
on the Digimon as he passed. Stingmon de-Digivolved to Wormmon and bounced to a halt. Ken
stopped holding his face and whimpering long enough to pick up the exhausted bug.

Davis was still pumped for battle. He called to his Digimon, "Come on Exveemon! It's not over
'til it's over!"
Exveemon looked up from filing his nails. "Huh? Oh right, saving the day, gotcha. Exvee La-"
but the dragon was cut off from his attack by the snap of a Spider Thread across his face,
causing him to writhe and de-Digivolve.
"I'm sorry Davish, I'm just not shtrong enough..." Veemon apologised to his irate human.
"Not strong enough, my goggles! Before this DNA Digivolving came along, Exveemon was the best
thing since the scantily-clad angel!" Davis fumed, then grudgingly cradled Veemon to match his
companions. "How is she so powerful?!"

Arukenimon surveyed the fallen Digidestined and laughed cruelly. "Hahahahahaha! I'm so powerful
because I found this little trinket!" She held up one of her legs, which had a grey ring on
it.
"My tail ring...!" Gatomon snivelled from her seat in Kari's arms.
"Yes, and thanks to it, I've finally defeated the Digidestined!" Arukenimon crowed, "Now no one
can stop me from taking over the Digital World!" Mummymon echoed her in laughter, and recieved
a swat for his trouble. He sighed dreamily and loped back to the Jeep.
"And now, " Arukenimon said dramatically, "To finish you all off! Poison Mist!" She charged
her attack, and was about to fire on the helpless Chosen Children, when a large boulder fell
from the sky and crushed the spider lady into data bytes. Mummymon gulped like a fish out of
water, before he too was crushed by a boulder from the sky.

The kids gaped at the spot where their enemies had been just moments before.
"What...was that?" Yolei faltered.
"It must be the old rule," T.K. suggested, "Bad Guys Can Never Win."
The other kids nodded appreciatively, then grabbed their Digimon and started off to the nearest
Digiport so they could gloat to the older Digidestined.

THE END