By SUPER MAGUS!
Disclamer:I don't own Earthbound.APE and Nintendo do.

ME and friend Nick thought of this.
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Man:Who is Ness' father?Secrets revealed!

Ness:Cool.

Man:And it is................THIS PERSON!

*A green,slimy alien comes in*

Ness:WHAT?!

Man:You two should spend some quality time together.*Puts them in a room*

(Five minutes later,Ness comes in all green and slimy)

Ness:That was some kiss dad.

Another man:*Runs in*WAIT!THAT IS NOT NESS' DAD!

Ness:*breathes a sigh of relief*

The man:IT is really Dr.Andonuts!That means NEss and Jeff are brothers!Think about it!Ness has no dad,Jeff has no mom.IT MAKES SENSE!

Jeff:*Grins*Hi brother.

Ness:I think I like the alien better.

Man:Too bad!You can't change your bloodline.

THE END.