I can't believe this is happening. I mean she was fine this morning, laughing and joking while making Dawn's breakfast. And suddenly she's gone and i'll never see her making pancakes again. Silly i know but it's always the little things you miss the most. Out of all the demons i've slain, death is the only one i'll never be able to get rid of. Yet, it's the biggest one of all. In two minutes it can turn entire households upside down and scar someone for life. Death doesn't have a face, a visage. You can't hear or feel it. It slips in and out and by the time you realise it's been it's too late to do anything. I used to think i'd cheated death, what with drowning and being brought back. It's that memory that haunts me, makes me feel so gulity. My mom was needed in this world, Dawn's unstable enough as it is and now that mom's gone i don't know what she'll do. She's already slit her wrists i can't bear to think what she might do now. I'm not needed as much, if i die another slayer is called so it's not like the world will suffer. Death, it's got a funny sense of humour. It chooses its victims carefully, always the little innocent kids or the people that are needed by their families. Like my mom, Dawn needs her now and i can't bring her back. I want to help her so much but what she really needs is her mom and i can't give her that. I wish it had picked me, not because i feel gulity for not being there when she died but because i'm selfish. Yeah, i'm more selfish than my friends know because i don't want to go through this pain and hurt and grief. My mom was supposed to go through it not me. I'll stay strong though, for Dawn. I'll make her pancakes in the morning like my mom used to and i'll yell at her for being home late but i'll also comfort her when she needs it and listen to her problems. We'll get through it; i won't let death cause my family to fall apart like it wants, like it expects. No, i'll stay strong and i'll fight it. I'll fight death until i can't.