Last one, it's our Takeru! Our one and only gilligan. We love his hat, don't we people? ::there are a few coughs:: DON'T WE?! :: some people mutter yes and kind of:: O.K. That's ALL I'm asking. Here's a bit of Takeru angst.

d/c: I do not own Digimon.

Sadistic Love

Hikari's looking at me. I know she is. She always is. I'm not sure what her problem is. Her hormones are taking over, I guess. But she can't love me. Despite popular belief, I don't think we're meant for each other. I don't love her. Well, in that's brotherly sisterly way I do, but not romantically. Seriously, kissing Hikari would be like kissing Yamato, which, I hopefully won't do any time soon.

Yeah, I'll confess. I'm bisexual. I don't see a problem. Neither does Hikari. Daisuke might, but that's because he's him. I can't help it. Neither can he, I have a feeling.

I talk to Daisuke, in hopes that he'll notice me. I know it's highly unlikely- Hikari will probably be his life long crush. It sucks. Sucks for me.

Why am I damn to be in this demented love triangle? None of us are going to get what we want. We're all just going to suffer in eternal hell until one of us dies. Then, only two of us will have to suffer each other. No one has won and no one will.

You know, some days I think 'Why don't I just go and get with Hikari?' Then I looked at Daisuke and I say 'That's why.'

But why me? Everyone has always said 'Oh! Takeru and Hikari are going to make a lovely couple! They're so perfect for each other! It's destiny!' Well what if I don't want to make a lovely couple?! What if I don't believe in destiny? Would the entire world be thrown off course if I didn't love Hikari? God I hope not.

Hope. Count how many times I've said 'hope' in the last bit. 3, 4 times? Something like that. I am Takeru Takashi, the bearer of Hope. Yeah, like 'I HOPE Daisuke will just suddenly start liking me' and 'I HOPE Hikari will start liking someone else.' I guess I represent the hope to go on, even when I don't want to. Oh well.

Look, Dai just spilt creme on himself. I smile a little.

"Here, let me help." I say. He shook his head vigorously, not wanting me to touch him. Not matter. I would be persistent. He finally lets up, realising I'm not backing down. I mop the creme off his shirt the best I can, or at least until it's wearable.

Then I start talking to him. I know he's not paying attention to me. He's looking at Hikari. Again. I can't even remember a time he's paid attention to me when Hikari's within the same square mile. But you know, sometimes it doesn't bother me that much. In fact, I think it's kind of cute, his childish antics. We're teenagers and he still follows Hikari around like a puppy. Hikari still disregards him. She's thinks it's annoying. But then, that's Hikari.

I can feel it. Her eyes. She's staring at me again. God that feels creepy. Sometimes I almost feel as though I have a stalker, you know?

I know she knows that I like him. I know she looks at me critically, wondering why. I can't answer why and I never will be able to. There's some things that can't be answered.

Uh oh. Hikari slipped. In my direction, the chairs topples down with her on it. She looks genuinely surprised as she goes down. I think her subconscious did it deliberately. All I do is look down at her and smile, while Daisuke rushes over to her, as usual. He helps her up and then she nods and mumbles thank you, once again pushing Daisuke aside. I want to be angry with her for doing that, but I can't. It's not her fault she doesn't love him.

Daisuke is glaring at me, asking me why I didn't help her up. I pretend not to notice as I take another sip of my coffee. I didn't help her up because she needs to learn that I'm not going to be there forever. Also, I just felt as though if I helped her up, then I would be confessing non existent feelings. I didn't want that.

I'm talking to him again. I need to. Like usual. He's not listening. He's somewhere else. Like usual. It'll always be this way. Forever. It's destiny. I'll always be talking to Daisuke, he'll always be helping Hikari and Hikari will be staring at me. It'll never change.

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O.K. Here's my thoughts on it:

Hikari's sucked, Dai's was O.K. and Takeru's was somewhere inbetween there, like, didn't totally want to make me wretch, O.K.? Need opinions please!