*Kamikaze Mission*
By: Goddess of Insanity
Disclaimer:
I don't own Gundam wing, the characters or the plot; I just like to write okay.
So don't get difficult here and sue me, for you shall get NO MONEY!
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This takes
place in the episode where Heero is about to self-destruct. When Dr. J says, "I
surrender, but I do not surrender the Gundams."
JLJL
Suicidal, stupid, irrational, insane, they would
call me all those things just to ease their mind. They want to think
something's wrong with me when I do this. Well, there isn't. I'm perfectly
sane. It's just the things a war can do to you, especially if you've been
fighting it all your life.
How would they know what's going on in my mind, my
insane, cold, perfect mind? Are they I? I think not. Most of them are cowards.
They stand up when they feel nothing is going to happen, but in the line of
fire, they run away and hide.
My reason for doing this? I believe in the mission I
was given, and I fight what I believe in. I follow my emotions, not that I have
many. They were erased from me years ago, no need for them. I have no worries.
Why should I? One day I could be here, the next I could be six feet under.
As I stand here, on the open latch of my Gundam, I
think is this really what I believe in? Is this war something I want? Gripping
the self-destruct button in my hand, I wonder. But yes, this war is something I
need. There is place in society for a fifteen-year-old boy, with no emotions,
and the mind of a killer. Sure, maybe I'll be a hero after this. But maybe I'll
survive and be shunned by every person in space and on earth.
But why should I care? History repeats itself as you
can see, and sooner or later there will be another power hungry person in this
world starting something. The there will be more battles, more looses, and more
heroes.
I was born into this; it wasn't a choice I got to
make. It was just given to me. And I, the humble servant, yes that's all I am.
I follow the orders that are given to me, whether I fail them or not, I still
obey. I do fight for the good of the earth and the colonies. Why is it that
they must fight? We all came from the same place whether you want to believe it
or not, earth. We were all born on this beautiful world.
As I look out, I notice I don't have much time left.
If I'm going to do this, I better do it now. There is now way I am going to let
the enemy get Zero. I am not blinded by the war. I see perfectly well what they
want. And my fight is to make sure that they do not get it. Ever.
This is it, the final decision. Everyone is counting
on you Heero. The sounds of exploding flood my mind. It's now or never. I must act on my emotions, I must obey, and I
must not let them down. Oz you can keep trying, but you will never ever win
this war. There is no way I'll let you.
Call me insane, suicidal. stupid, whatever you wish,
but I fight for what I believe in. Even in life after death. There will always
be one more battle in one more war, an endless waltz where the music never
stops.
Fin