AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hi everyone. Mirax, here. The next part of G.B.R. is finally here. Sorry it took so long. We went to band camp (yes, band camp) and had trouble getting together. Another bit of news, Ampris is now Ryoko. Don't ask. I did, and I regretted it. Anyway. We are now the Anime Chicks because everyone at band camp called us that. So enjoy the fic.
The Gundanium Brick Road, part 2
By the Anime Chicks
Quatre lowers himself to the ground by that little black thingy that they all use (sorry, we don't know what it's called). He looks around in wonder at all the greenery around him.
QUATRE: I haven't seen this much plant life since I wondered into Zechs' flower garden. (From behind the curtain Zechs' voice can be heard: "Hey! … You weren't suppose to know about that!!") Quat rolls his eyes.
Suddenly, Quatre gets the feeling that he is being watched. There is a rustle from behind a patch of ferns as he spied a sunglass-adorned face poking out from behind the leaves.
QUATRE: Hey Abdul, what are you doing here?
ABDUL: (comes out kneeling, walking on his knees) Master Quatre… (looks around nervously) It's a play… I'm a munchkin… remember?
QUATRE: Oh… yeah… I get it.
(Behind the scenes all three writers slap their foreheads simultaneously.)
All of the rest of the Maguanacs a.k.a. munchkins come out from the various greenery. All are on their knees. They all form a circle around a very confused Quatre. From the edge of the crowd, a small litter approaches. It is accompanied by a fanfare of trumpets. All of a sudden, the trumpets break into the main chorus of "Livin' La Vida Loca." Abdul starts to dance, not an easy feat when on his knees, and starts to sing a la Ricky Martin.
ABDUL: She'll make you take your clothes off…
Rashid unfolds himself from the tiny litter and stands at his full height in front of "Dorothy." Haha…
ABDUL: …and go dancing in the rain…
RASHID: Hello there, Master Qu— I mean Dorothy, welcome to Munchkin City. I am the Mayor.
ABDUL: …She'll make you live the crazy life…
(By now the trumpets have stopped playing and everyone is getting slightly, okay majorly peeved a Abdul's a capello singing.)
QUATRE: But Rahid, I mean Mayor, aren't you just…. well…. You're a little too tall for a "munchkin," aren't you?
RASHID: (haughtily) I was adopted. (Actually, Rashid didn't feel like standing on his knees. Hey, do YOU want to try to make him? Didn't think so.)
ABDUL: …And she'll take away your pain, Like a bullet through your brain…
RASHID: I wish somebody would put a bullet through his brain.
TROWA: (from off stage) Gladly!!!! (Hurls a Bucket of Colonel Sanders Extra Crispy Chicken at the merry midget. As an after thought, he also throws a side of Buffalo Wings. Both hit the dancing dwarf in the face. Abdul immediately starts hogging down the chicken.)
TROWA: That shut him up. I never liked Ricky Martin anyway.
QUATRE: Hey! What's that up there?
(A small object is floating down out of the blue sky surrounded by a pink bubble.)
QUATRE: It sort of looks like an Aries in a fruffy pink tutu. Trowafairy??**(explanation will be given at the end)
RASHID: Well, aren't you the observant one.
(This comment goes right over Quat's head.)
The object that they are looking at lands and IS actually an Aries in a fruffy pink tutu.
RASHID: Oh… by …. Allah… those authoressess have done it again.
From the portal of the Aries, Noin pops out NOT wearing a fruffy pink tutu. (Sorry, we couldn't put her in anything fruffy, `cause she'd go buck wild and seriously prod some buttock.)
QUATRE: Miss Noin! What are you doing here?
NOIN: Oh God! ….Quatre….aaagh!
RASHID: (leans down ,way down) Masta Quatre, please stick to the stupid script!
QUATRE: oooooohhhhhh…….yeah? Okay.
EARTH: What a dumb blond!!
RYOKO and MIRAX: Okay, hello! You're a blond, too!!
EARTH: Yeah, well. "And now back to…. athe rest of the story."
NOIN: Are you a gay Gundam pilot or a straight Gundam pilot?
QUATRE: Uh… Noin?….. why are you asking me that? You know I'm going out with Dorothy.
NOIN: Um….aren't….. aren't you…..aren't you Dorothy?
RYOKO: SCRIPT!
NOIN: (deadpan voice) I really don't feel like being here, so I'll give you the run down. Ya landed on the Wicked Witch of the East, Relena.
(Heero runs out from behind the scenes, behind everyone else, and starts doing a Bevis and Buthead dance. Every one else is oblivious, so he keeps on. Finally, Ryoko has to come out and restrain him, all the while cursing in five different languages.)
QUATRE: I didn't mean to. What have I don—
NOIN: (interrupting) Quatre, nobody cares. Everybody's happy. Let's all rejoice. (Looks around. Nobody is doing anything.) I said REJOICE!!!
All the Maguanacs give a half-hearted cheer. Abdul starts in with the chorus of "Livin La Vida Loca" again. Noin gives him a fierce glare, and he stops abruptly.
NOIN: (rolls her eyes and turns back to Quatre) Okay. Go get the stupid teacup.
QUATRE: (gives confused look) Teacup? What teacup? I have plenty of teacups.
NOIN: uhhhhhh……migraines…. Quatre, the RUBY teacup! Over there. The one in the late Relena's hand.
MIRAX: Noin, could you please try to stick to the script just a—
NOIN: (interrupting again) Script?! I don't have time for the fraggin' script!! I have to make out with Zechs in five minut— (Noin breaks off and looks embarrassed.)
ZECHS: Noin
NOIN: (finds something very interesting to look at on the floor) Quatre, just go get the teacup.
So he does, but gets a little squeamish when he has to pry it from Relena's cold, dead fingers. As Quatre rejoins Noin, there is a puff of smoke and light. Coughing is heard. "My lungs are weak." Noin gets a condescending look on her face.
NOIN: Well. Like that doesn't give away who it is.
Then storming out of the smoke is a figure much akin to the Greek Gods. The Shaft theme is playing in the background.
WUFEI: Hey, I'm Chinese. Not Greek. Can you dig it? (looks frustrated) I can't believe they made me say that… (Wufei sees Noin) Oh. So that woman is here.
Quatre knowing that Wufei will be angry says: Hey Wufie Witch! You sure look preddy in that dress. Your shoes just complete the outfit. And those earrings are just stunning.
MIRAX: Earrings?
EARTH: We didn't make him wear earrings.
Ryoko and Heero smile mischievously.
WUFEI: Quatre, just give me the teacup. I'll get it in the end, anyway.
Quatre looks confused and pulls out his script from his vest pocket. He flips to the end.
QUATRE: No, No…. That's not right. It says right here that you get killed by—
RYOKO, EARTH and MIRAX: No Quatre! DON'T GIVE AWAY THE ENDING!!
QUATRE: Ohhh… I guess that would kinda ruin the fanfic, wouldn't it.
RYOKO, EARTH and MIRAX: Yeah, maybe just a little bit!
WUFEI: Okay. That's it. I'm going back to my castle. (starts walking. He didn't feel like using the smoke again.)
HEERO: (off stage) Yeah. His witch castle.
WUFEI: (He stops walking. He is breathing heavily) In…… In….
QUATRE: Maybe it's a gingerbread house. (trys hard not to laugh)
WUFEI: In… In… INNNNNNNNJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSTTTTTIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCEEEEE!!
(Wufei runs the rest of the way to his ::snicker:: gingerbread castle.)
All Maguanacs look at Quat. They start whispering:
MAGUANAC #1: He's got the ruby teacup.
MAGUANAC #2: He's got the ruby teacup.
MAGUANAC #3: Hee's got that there them ruby teacup thing.
. . .
MAGUANAC #38: He's got the ruby teacup.
MAGUANAC #39: Livin' la vida loca (Bet you can't guess who that is!)
MAGUANAC #40:He's got the—
QUATRE: I KNOW!! I KNOW I THE STUPID RUBY TEACUP!
RASHID: In case you haven't noticed, Masta Quatre, you have the ruby teacup.
QUATRE: Yes, thank you, Rashid. I had quite noticed that fact.
Quatre realizes that all the Maguanacs are gathered around him in a circle. It parts, and three Maguanacs with Maguanac mobile suit hand puppets walk up singing.
ALL 3 MAGUANACS: We-hee represent…the Maguanac Corps…the Maguanac Corps… We-hee represent the Maguanac Corps… and we wish to welcome you to Maguanac Land.
QUATRE: (stunned) …mommy…
NOIN: Okay, okay. Can we please hurry it up a little. I have to be …somewhere… (sweatdrop) in about one and a half minutes.
(Rashid stands there twiddling his thumbs and whistling until everyone looks at him expectantly.)
RASHID: Huh: Oh! Is it my line? Uhh…Okay…Umm… What's the boy's name again… oh, oh, Dorothy, right? Okay, um well. See that road there? If you want to get back to Arabia, you have to go see the Wizard of Oz.
QUATRE: Hey! That's Treize, isn't it?
RASHID: damn you Quatre for giving it away. Just follow the road until you get to Platinum City, okay?
QUATRE: Okay. I think I understand.
All the Maguanacs gather behind Quatre and break into a rousing chorus of:
ALL MAGUANACS: Follow the Gundanium Brick Road, follow, follow, follow, Follow the Gundanium Brick Road—
QUATRE: Screw skipping! (starts running scared)
SANDROCK: Huh? What? What happened? Oh, Quatre. (runs after his pilot after brushing a few pink flamingoes off his shoulders, which gather to him like flies to a bug zapper.)
So the two go thomping down the Gundanium Brick Road, Sandrock destroying it with his mighty weight.
RASHID: augghh…god… Abdul. Go get the bricklayers again.
End of Part Two.
**A Trowafairy (or trowalilia fair) is a nocturnal, magical being which resides in the darkness underneath Sailor Earth's bed. It is usually garbed in a gauze-like pink dress, which falls right above the knees; its feet are adorned with pink slippers. Attached to the pint-sized fairy's back are two transparent wings. Over its left eye an uni-bang falls gracefully. It can also be identified by its trademark call of "Trowafairy, Trowafairy," which is the only word it can speak. It can occasionally be seen with a large bouquet of lilies. It usually comes out when darkness falls to frighten the smaller of the human species. Regretfully, it can only be seen and heard after enormous amounts of sugar are consumed.
Actually, that's not the rest of the story. To find out more, or the real Trowafairystory, ask about it in your review or email one of us.
EARTH: Hello! Man, we had too much toast, can't you tell? Cinnamon toast that is, all the more lethal.
RYOKO: Toast is a highly dangerous substance. Did you know that? It really is. Toast should not be consumed on an empty stomach and certainly not in combination with green tea. Not to mention—
BONK
MIRAX: (throws down the toast she hit Ryoko with) She was right about one thing. It is dangerous.
EARTH: Yep.
Ryoko runs crying to Heero.
RYOKO: Wahh!! They hit me Heero!
HEERO: They did what?! (pulls a gun out of his shorts)
EARTH: Um, okay. Uhhh… Hey, we're going to go now. Please Review.
MIRAX: …we're all going to die…