What Legacies You Leave Behind (Part 2)
- A Voyager bedtime story
by Lt 17 of 26 aka fROzen TaTTooGaL™ (MERSTS)
The next day the child didn't even bother to try to sleep. She sat awake, a book propped in her lap, reading deep into the night. Waiting for the angel to appear. Or the sleep-fairy. It didn't matter to her.
At a minute to midnight the shimmering began again. The child put the book away eagerly as the angel materialized in her room.
"Shall we continue where we left off?" she asked as soon has she had fully coalesced.
The child nodded. "Please do. I've been thinking about nothing else the whole day!"
"That's very good," said the angel, smiling enigmatically at her. And she continued to tell the tale.
The senior crew was gathered in the briefing room. Seven of Nine glanced around the crew. There was Neelix, an exotic Talaxian from this quarter of the universe: cook, morale officer and ambassador. Seven found his perpetually cheery manner fairly annoying sometimes, but he was open and amicable; someone she could easily talk to at any time. Then there was B'Elanna Torres, the half-Klingon engineer. Seven had found her to be hostile and aggressive at first, but they'd grown to tolerate each other over the years, perhaps even to the extent of liking each other. There were times that it seemed to Seven that she would be quite lost without the chief engineer around. It was an enigma to Seven, and she wanted to leave it that way. Humanity itself was an enigma.
And of course there was the Doctor, the only holographic crewmember aboard this ship or any other. Seven's relationship with the Doctor was… special. The way she felt about him was different from the way she felt about anybody else. She might be closest to Kathryn on the ship, but she was rather fond of the Doctor, her mentor and her friend. Some would find it inconceivable that one could grow feelings for a hologram, especially one that was of such irascible manner, but Seven had strong feelings for him, all right. It was yet another mystery of humanity's ways.
The peculiarities of humans and human behavior were the furthest thing on the crew's mind at that moment, however. The situation concerning the Dominion was far more worrying. Inured as they were to the perils of being the lone friendly ship in unfriendly space, they all had been badly shaken by the ferocity of the last attack. The ship would likely bear visible scars for quite a while before they got around to fixing it. If they even lasted that long.
"Seven," said Kathryn, freshly recovered from her hard fall, "what do you remember about the Dominion from the Borg? Do they have any tactical weaknesses?"
Seven frowned. Although she had begun to loathe having to dredge up these memories, unpleasant reminders of her Borg heritage, sometimes they came in useful. She recalled the Jem'Hadar the Borg had assimilated, their ships and weaponry. "The polaron beam generator is almost indestructible," she said. "However, when struck with a high enough dosage of theta-radiation, the generator goes into a lethal energy feedback loop and it begins to vent the energy in any way possible."
"Including on the ship, where it will cause a warp core breach!" exclaimed B'Elanna. "So all we have to do is to find some way of releasing a high amount of theta radiation on one of the Jem'Hadar ships and the resulting radiation waves will destroy all fifteen ships!" She paused and her enthusiasm drained a little. "Like that's the easy part…" she muttered.
"What produces theta radiation anyway?" asked Neelix.
"A transnucleic compression bomb would," replied Harry eagerly. "I did a paper on them for my senior thesis. They're fairly easy to assemble, but they have to be timed, because their design means that they can only be manually activated. Unless you're on a suicide mission, of course, then it wouldn't matter." He chuckled dryly at his own joke, and Tom snorted. The rest of the crew remained silent.
"So in order for them to go off in the Jem'Hadar ship, we'll have to put them in there beforehand," said Chakotay.
"Which means someone has to beam in and put them there," added Kathryn.
"Which will increase the chance of the Jem'Hadar being able to find it," said Tuvok.
"Oh, yeah." Harry looked slightly sheepish. "I also forgot to mention that the bombs are fairly easy to deactivate as well."
"Maybe if we found really good hiding places for the bombs, they wouldn't find it," suggested Tom.
"Bio-signatures!" exclaimed Harry. "They can mask the readings of the bombs so that the internal sensors won't pick them up. So maybe we could immerse the bombs in… I don't know, bioneural gel packs, for instance…." He shrugged. "It might work."
"Bioneural gel-packs don't produce very strong bio-signatures," grumped the Doctor. "Those are produced by the number of highly complex chemical reactions occurring in the body. I suppose that, given time, I would be able to come up with a suitable substitute, however."
"Wait, wait." B'Elanna interrupted. "It seems to me that the problem lies in the design of the bomb, not the workings of the bomb itself. Why don't we redesign the bomb to detonate when remotely activated instead?"
"There isn't enough time," Chakotay told her. "We have one day at the most."
"Isn't there any easier way to produce theta radiation?" Neelix asked.
"Well, some forms of shielding do produce the requisite kind of radiation when struck with high-energy subspace distortion waves," suggested B'Elanna. "If we could erect a metaphasic forcefield or something similar around one of these ships, it just might do the trick."
"But not necessarily more easily," Seven pointed out.
"More so than beaming an away team into a heavily armed Dominion ship to plant bombs before beaming them safely out?" asked Tom.
"Gentlemen, I think it is pointless to bicker like this," said Kathryn, rubbing her forehead absently. "What I want to know is, is the plan feasible? Could we beam into the Jem'Hadar ship and get away with it?"
"There are several weaknesses in the shielding of Jem'Hadar ships," Seven told her. "If we concentrated fire on one spot, there may be a break large enough for a small Away Team to beam in."
Still Kathryn frowned. "I'm not willing to carry out a plan which bases itself on so many uncertainties. Things could go very, very wrong." She sighed. "However, it might seem like we don't have much of a choice. Harry, B'Elanna, Seven, I want the three of you to start work on those TCBs now. The rest of you-" she gestured to her crew- "will think of alternative solutions and also come up with a detailed plan on the modus operandi of the Away Team on the Jem'Hadar ship." She stood up from her chair and leaned forward to address her crew. Her formal, authoritative posture separated her from them, but the additional closeness to the crew helped compensate for it. "We've been through hell and back, people. And we're not going to let the Dominion stop us. We can do this."
It was late at night, and B'Elanna Torres felt so tired she thought she might just fall asleep over her console at any moment. They were in Engineering, bathed in the odd blue glow of the warp core, no longer pulsing but still brighter than any light on the ship. She rubbed her eyes and glanced over at Harry, who was working in tandem with Seven. The ex-Borg still looked impeccably fresh, but Harry looked like he could use a few days' sleep. Even Seven was slightly more irritable than usual. They were all tired, and it was easy to see why: in between shuttling from warp-core repairs and Red Alerts whenever the Dominion ships came too close to finding them, the trio had been scrambling to procure and assemble the TCBs. Kathryn had even come to help them with the spherical bombs in the late evening, assembling a few herself.
B'Elanna shook her head. If she was tired, the captain had to be even more exhausted. As far as she knew, she'd been on her feet for the past ten hours while she should have been recovering from the hard knock she'd gotten on her head. Tuvok had finally dragged her from Engineering to Sickbay for a checkup and rest. The Doctor had promptly thrown everyone else in Sickbay back to his or her quarters and sealed the place for two solid hours so she'd get some sleep.
Harry grunted from behind her. She turned. "Now what?"
He was bent over the neat stack of bombs they'd made so far. "My memory must be failing. I thought I'd made four of those genuine bombs, but they're only three here."
"You must have mixed it up with one of the decoys." She walked over to the other side of the stack and pulled out a sphere with a red marking on it. "See, I told you."
"Thanks." Harry took the object and put it together with the other real bombs. "Do you think we've got enough decoys here to baffle the Dominion?"
"I hope so," she replied. "I'm too tired to make any more. We've got a ratio of four decoys to every real bomb- that makes it a twenty percent possibility that any bomb a Jem'Hadar picks up and deactivates is going to be the real thing."
"Yeah, after all we only have so much of transperiodic elements," muttered Harry. "I'd sooner build more real ones if I could."
Seven turned from her worktable with a newly assembled decoy in her hand. "That goes without saying, Ensign," she remarked, setting the decoy down with the rest. Harry sat down, bone tired, and B'Elanna followed suit.
Harry yawned and clapped a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. "Phew. I'm tired."
B'Elanna found herself nodding in agreement. "I think we all are." When Seven didn't protest, she added, "Maybe we should call it a day."
At that moment the doors to Engineering slid open. Who could that be at this time of the night? She wondered. Please don't tell me it's more bad news… She turned around and her tired, grumpy frown dissolved into a rare smile. It was Tom, carrying a tray with coffeepot, mugs and a plate of cookies.
"Hey," he said. "I brought something for our midnight workers."
B'Elanna chuckled. "Actually, we're nearly done now, but those cookies look good." She grabbed one off the plate as Tom set it down on the floor. Then she noticed that her husband wasn't in a particularly good mood. "What?" she asked.
Tom settled down on the floor between B'Elanna and Harry. He looked troubled. "Tuvok and the captain have been working on Harry's simulations of the away team mission, and so far out of the thirty-odd times they have run it, they haven't managed to succeed at all. Not once."
"Simulations are different from the real thing," Seven pointed out.
"Yeah, because they are even more unpredictable than simulations are. That means the prognosis for the mission can only get worse." Tom ran a hand through his hair, rumpling it. "And worse still, Tuvok managed to break into a transmission from the lead Jem'Hadar ship and he found all these battle plans. The Jem'Hadar aren't after us because we're a Federation ship. It's what they want from us. They want our ship intact."
Harry frowned. "What would they want from us?"
"Tactical information, what else?" Tom cast Harry an irritated glance. "We've been through half this quadrant. We've survived the Borg and every other hostile race we've encountered. What more could they want?"
B'Elanna's eyes widened. "So Tuvok was right. It is an invasion force."
"More or less. They won't be satisfied until they have complete dominance over this quadrant."
Seven narrowed her eyes. "Are you suggesting that a second Dominion War is about to be staged in the Delta Quadrant?"
"More or less," repeated Tom. "They steal the wormhole technology from some hapless Gamma Quadrant race, send a fleet over here to gather tactical information and start the offensive, follow up with the main fleet, and then…" he shook his head. "So maybe I don't know all that much about this race, but it seems like they're power-obsessed control freaks who'll stop at nothing for complete dominance. I'm betting that once they've secured the Delta Quadrant they might just strike back with renewed forces at the Alpha Quadrant. And then some."
So the whole of the galaxy is in danger, and we're the only thing that's standing in the way, thought B'Elanna. She suddenly felt small and overwhelmed. A whole galaxy, with millions and trillions of beings, all depending on her ability to assemble these bombs correctly and stop the Jem'Hadar fleet before it started. She shut her eyes and tried to imagine the immensity of it, and felt Tom's comforting hand on her arm. "It's all up to us now, isn't it," she said softly, feeling unbelievably stressed. Her appetite had vanished and she now felt vaguely nauseous.
Harry seemed to have difficulty breathing. "There's more at stake here than we ever imagined."
"There must be a more fail-proof method of getting this done," said B'Elanna, but the words sounded weak even to her own ears. She realized the futility of their effort: one small ship against fifteen warships armed to the teeth. Voyager was barely functional at this point of time.
"We could destroy our own ship and prevent the Jem'Hadar from obtaining our tactical information," suggested Seven. "They would not last very long against the Borg."
"Oh, Tuvok did suggest that to the captain," said Tom airily. "She flipped at the mere idea."
"Destroying our ship…" Harry gulped. "Surely we're not that desperate?"
Tom gave him a sharp look. "You wanna bet?" He sighed and leaned against the bulkhead. "You three have been cooped up here the whole day, so I guess you wouldn't really know how desperate the situation is out there. Let me tell you, it's past midnight and the mess hall is still packed to the brim with people thinking their brains out. That's how desperate we are."
B'Elanna suddenly felt inexplicably guilty for not helping them out. "We're not going to be helping much by staying here and making more decoys, are we? Let's go to the Mess Hall and see if we can help with anything."
It was past midnight and Neelix felt like he was nearing the end of his endurance. He's spent the whole day on his feet, cooking, running errands and bracing himself for possible Dominion attacks. Yet the crew showed no signs of letting up. The Mess Hall was crowded, and filled with people tapping at padds or in agitated discussion. The general mood on the ship was tense and jumpy. It had the right to be. From what he'd heard, these Jem'Hadar might just be the second biggest scourge of the universe, next to the Borg. And this crew didn't have too many happy memories of the Borg.
Neelix served another round of coffee to Tuvok and Chakotay, fresh from the late duty shift on the bridge. The two were deep in conversation, discussing the best way to lure the Jem'Hadar to the decoy TCBs and draw attention away from the real ones. Neelix was more worried about getting the away team out of the ship than anything else. He was fairly sure that the crew would be resourceful enough to hide the bombs from the Jem'Hadar. His impression of them so far was that they were big and dumb with no volition of their own: pretty easy to outwit, in fact.
The doors to the Mess Hall slid open and Tom, B'Elanna, Seven and Harry entered. The latter three looked downright exhausted, and Neelix worried for them. They headed for Tuvok and Chakotay's table, and Neelix hastily adjoined the nearest few tables for them. Tom still had his tray of coffee and biscuits, which he distributed.
Chakotay handed B'Elanna the padd they'd been working on. "Take a look at this. Think it'll work?"
B'Elanna glanced at the padd and nodded absently. "I hope. It's not just the Jem'Hadar finding the bombs that worry me, its them finding the away team, or our ship not being able to withstand the shockwave of fifteen warp-core breaches, or our ship not even being able to survive that long- augh!" She tossed the padd across the table. "So many uncertainties, and too much at stake for anything to go wrong!"
Chakotay nodded in sympathy. "I know how you feel. Captain Janeway has stressed that repeatedly." He sighed. "However, short of blowing ourselves to pieces before the Jem'Hadar can board us, I don't see any foolproof method of stopping them. And the captain would never permit that unless we were truly desperate."
"But we are!" exclaimed Tom. "And so is she! Don't tell me that that isn't the case, because I know it is, and I know you know that it is too."
"Wait, wait," said Harry. "You're not seriously thinking of destroying Voyager with us all on it, are you? That's ridiculous! We weren't even that far gone when facing the Borg."
"The Borg are a different matter entirely," said Tuvok. "You analogy is inappropriate."
Neelix, sensing the tension at the table increase dramatically, decided to step in. "You must all be very tired," he said. "Why don't we all take the example of the captain, return to our quarters and have a good night's rest and continue tomorrow when we are fresher?"
Seven and Harry glanced sulkily at him, but the rest seemed to concur with his statement. Tom wrapped an arm around B'Elanna's waist and nodded. "I think B'Elanna really needs her beauty sleep."
B'Elanna elbowed Tom, jesting despite the somber mood. "Don't use me as excuse, Tom Paris, you lazy pig." He chortled.
Chakotay shook his head and sighed almost paternally. "I guess Neelix is right. There's little more I can do out here, so I might as well just turn in and get prepared tomorrow." He stood to leave and the rest at the table followed suit. Tom and B'Elanna, of course, would be headed back to their quarters. Seven and Tuvok might stay awake a little while longer in Astrometrics trying to gather as much data as they could, but they had the stamina to do so. Not Chakotay. He needed to rest. Poor Neelix- judging by the looks of it, he probably wouldn't be getting very much sleep that night.
Chakotay had the feeling that most of the crew would be unable to do so either.
He was just about to fall into bed in his quarters when the doorchime rang. "Come," he said, hoping that it wasn't Tuvok, perpetual bringer of bad news.
It was Kathryn, dressed in a silken gray nightgown. He was mildly surprised. She came into the room and stood on the blue rug in the middle, not saying anything for a long while. She looked troubled and distressed, and Chakotay couldn't blame her. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Is everything alright?" he asked her.
She glanced up at him and smiled crookedly. "Not exactly."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Oh, Chakotay…." she sighed heavily and shut her eyes. "I don't know where to begin."
"Is it about the Jem'Hadar? Because if it is-"
"No, no." She opened her eyes and walked slightly away from him, then walked back until they were standing face-to-face. "I came… to talk about you and me. About what's happening between us."
Chakotay frowned. That was most unusual. "Why?"
She glanced at him. "I'm not sure why, but… Chakotay, I just have to get it off my back. In case anything happens tomorrow… I want you to know."
"Know what?"
Her voice caught in her throat, and she took a few deep breaths. "I want you to know that…" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I love you."
Chakotay stared at her in utter confusion. "I… I don't understand. I thought we'd established long ago that if we're going to be stuck here in this quadrant, our relationship is going to be strictly professional." He didn't get it one bit. He'd longed for her all these years, but eventually he'd conceded that she was right, and they couldn't be together if they were to command this ship efficiently. Even if he could function that way, she definitely wouldn't be able to. So why this sudden change of heart?
A tear rolled down her soft cheek and Chakotay wiped it away. Kathryn, crying? What in the world was going on?
"I'm sorry," she said finally, "I know that after six and a half years, this must be rather strange to you… but it's the truth. I love you, Chakotay. I've just been hiding from you, hiding behind all these excuses and everything… it's not that we can't work together if we get involved… there isn't anything in Starfleet which prohibits that. I was just afraid… so afraid…" She started to cry.
Chakotay, confused and not knowing what else to do, did the only thing he could. He hugged her.
She clutched him tightly, her tears leaving a cold spot down the front of his pajamas. "It always happened to me, Chakotay! Every time I got attached or seriously involved, something happened… People died or got separated… I must be such a jinx." She shook her head, trembling. "Then after that fiasco with Seska, I thought that you'd never want to be close to anyone again… so I guess I just gave up. I'm so sorry, Chakotay. I'm such a coward."
He hugged her fiercely, tightly. "No, you're not," he insisted firmly. "You're the bravest woman I've ever known, Kathryn. You came here, didn't you? Nobody's ever done this for me. And you know what? I'm completely confident that you'll pull us through this Jem'Hadar crisis, like you pulled us through all those other hard times. And I still love you, Kathryn. I've always loved you."
They stood together like that for quite a long time. Finally she pulled away from his embrace and stood slightly apart from him, in the middle of the thick navy blue rug. In one fluid motion, she tugged at the string of her silk nightgown and shrugged it off. The gown fell to the floor, revealing that she wore nothing underneath.
"I want to make everything right," she whispered softly. "I want things to change."
He shook his head. "Kathryn, you don't have to do this if you don't want to-"
"But I do." Her voice was pleading, soft. "All these years… I guessed you've always known. But I was too afraid…" She glanced at him, looking vulnerable and at a loss for words.
"Afraid to get committed," he finished for her.
She nodded. "But it can't stay that way forever… I realized that if I let you slip away from me, I'd lose this opportunity…"
There was such sadness and longing in her eyes. He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Things won't ever be the same after this, you know. We can't ever go back… this is the point of no return."
She clasped his hands. "I understand," she whispered softly. "I don't want them to stay the same." And she reached for his pajama top and slowly began unbuttoning it.
At this point the angel paused. "Do you know what happens next?"
The child nodded solemnly. "Mommy says that when a man and a woman love each other very much, they get together…. I know." Her face grew wistful. "I don't know if I'll ever find someone like that who'll love me so much. Other than my mommy and my daddy."
The angel smiled. "You will. You do not need to know the details, I assume?"
"No," replied the child. "But please continue."