What Legacies You Leave Behind (Part 3)
- A Voyager bedtime story
by Lt 17 of 26 aka fROzen TaTTooGaL™ (MERSTS)
Chakotay lay in bed, unable to sleep. So many things had changed in the course of the day. Unbelievably many things. The Jem'Hadar, saving the galaxy-
-and Kathryn.
He glanced down at her, snuggled against him in the bed, sleeping soundly. He couldn't fathom it, much less believe it. Kathryn, here, in his bed, sleeping against him like he was everything to her in the world. Why? What had he done to deserve this? He studied the outline of her face; her firm nose, strong chin and rounded jaw which made her look so child-like as she slept. He brushed his hand gently on her reddish-brown hair, feeling an inexplicable completeness in himself that overpowered the shadows thrown by the specter of the Dominion. He sighed deeply, contentedly, letting his train of thought run free, trying to understand what had made her abruptly come to him in the first place.
As if she could read his thoughts, Kathryn stirred lightly and awoke, glancing up at him with her clouded blue eyes. "Can't sleep?"
He shook his head. "Too many things on my mind."
"Let me guess: you're probably asking yourself what I am doing here."
"You know me too well."
She sighed and leaned her head on his broad chest. "As a matter of fact, I have no idea why either. It was something that just came over me." She glanced up at him with a mixture of helplessness and empathy. "It had to come sooner or later, though… I mean, I guess it all started with Michael and the Doctor."
"The Doctor?"
She sighed. "We had a little… talk back then about my relationship with Michael," she said, her eyes gazing out into the distance of Chakotay's window. "And I remember he said something… something along the lines of 'you can't have a relationship with a member of your crew… they're all your subordinates.' " She looked away from the window. "And… it was a little thing, but it disturbed me."
Chakotay's brow creased a little. "But that's been your philosophy for the better part of seven years."
"I know. That's why it bothered me."
"I don't understand."
"It's just the way he said it… 'they're all your subordinates'. It felt as if I was in a classification apart… all on my own. And the more I thought of it, the more I felt alone… I mean, Chakotay, how many people on board this ship see me more as a friend than as an authority figure? I can never have the closeness of relationships I desire from my crew because of the lofty mantle of Starfleet on me."
"That's not true, Kathryn. We're all your friends- "
"It's not true and you know it. I mean, look at Tom and B'Elanna… Seven and Naomi… and I realized that as long as I used my rank as I do it'll always be a barrier there." She faced him, her eyes distressed. "Do you think I'm nuts, Chakotay?"
"No-"
"Because I do, all the time. I'm nuts, Chakotay, I'm obsessed with my ship and her crew and Starfleet principles when we're so far out it doesn't really matter anymore. And I can't shake it even if it stands between the two of us." She gave him a plaintive look. "Isn't it sad, Chakotay? I love Starfleet more than the man who means the most to me."
"That wasn't what you said earlier. You said you were just using Starfleet as an excuse to hide…"
"Yes, I know! That's one of the explanations why. There are so many… it's such a complex issue, Chakotay! And between commanding the ship and being strong for the crew I haven't had enough time to think about all my trivial personal things. I've stood by my personal philosophies since the Academy days and I'm not the kind to second-guess myself… but, sometimes they get so sorely tested… There are times when I look in the mirror and don't even know what I'm looking at. I get so confused."
He wrapped a comforting hand around her shoulder. "Then I'll tell you what I see. I see a woman, strong-willed and determined, and an undying passion to bring her crew home. I see someone who is selfless and willing to sacrifice herself for the sake of others. Someone who holds all of us together and prevents us from falling into despair and anarchy. Someone who watches over us… protects us."
She gazed at him, eyes wide. "Really?"
He nodded, clasping her hand to his bare chest as they lay, skin to skin. "Yes," he replied, smiling.
She closed her eyes and leaned against him. "It's going to work out, Chakotay. I know it will."
About the two of us?" he gazed at her hopefully.
"No, about everything. One way or the other, it'll be fine. This ship is so lucky to have you onboard, Chakotay."
"And about the two of us?"
"We'll see how things go, Chakotay, we'll see." She clasped her hands lightly in his. "I glad we had this talk."
He just smiled at her.
The angel spoke with such deep passion that the child's eyes were misting over. "That's so sweet," said the child. "And so sad." She pulled the covers around her thoughtfully and looked out of her room window. "Can anyone actually be so devoted to what they believe in and what they love?"
"Unquestionably, yes."
"I don't understand at all. How come I never feel the same way?"
The angel placed a hand on her head gently. "You will understand when you grow older."
The child brightened. "You think so?"
"You have my assurances."
The child smiled dreamily. "I want to be a scientist and explorer when I grow up. Like the people on the ship." She looked at the angel. "What did you want to be when you were little?"
The angel seemed lost in thought for a moment. "I wanted to be a dancer."
"But you became an angel instead." The child smiled. "And you went around telling fairy tales to little children to help them sleep."
She seemed amused. "Do you think that I am telling you a fairy tale?"
"Of course it has to be. It hasn't happened yet, has it? It takes place in the future. There isn't any starship Voyager or Captain Kathryn Janeway." The child giggled, and settled into her blankets. "But I like the story."
"I thought you might. That is why I will be returning tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Does that mean no more for tonight?" The child pouted a little.
"It is late. You must rest. Perhaps I will come earlier tomorrow and tell you more of the story."
"Okay."
"Good night." She leaned over the child to tuck her in. "Sweet dreams."
The angel arrived earlier the next day as she promised. "Perhaps I will be able to finish the story today," she told the child.
"Aww, don't," the child replied. "Then I will have nothing to look forward to!"
"On the contrary," rebuffed the angel, "you will have the rest of your life to look forward to."
"The rest of my life?"
"Many people do not cherish their future enough until it is too late. I must try to help you learn to appreciate it."
"Okay, but will you continue with the story first?"
Harry awoke early the next day to do more preparations for the soon to come confrontation with the Dominion. At 0835 hours the captain called for a crew conference.
To him, everyone looked tired and stressed. They sat around the table in silence, nursing cups of coffee and bad headaches. He kept scanning over the contents of his padd, wondering what the day held in store for them. So far they'd evaded the Dominion sensors for over twelve hours, a fairly phenomenal record, and way beyond Tuvok's estimates. He hid a slight grin. It looked like his and B'Elanna's deployment of the dispersion field had helped mask their ion signature for a while at least.
He paused in the fifth perusing of his padd and sighed in irritation. The captain and Commander Chakotay were uncharacteristically late, keeping everyone waiting while they could have been off doing something useful. He shook his head and started tapping at his padd again.
Truth to tell, he was more nervous than he had been in quite a long while. He'd heard more than enough Dominion War horror stories from the monthly data dumps from Starfleet, and he wasn't all that sure he was eager to go on a head-to-head confrontation with them. And all this depressing talk about blowing up Voyager as a last ditch resort to create the requisite theta radiation which would destroy the Jem'Hadar ships… he hoped it was just the pessimists talking.
The doors to the briefing room slid open. Finally, he thought. He looked up to see if it was the captain or Chakotay- and his jaw nearly dropped. Not only had the two of them come strolling into the room together, they were holding hands, perfectly relaxed in their closeness together. In full view of the entire senior crew, and making no effort to hide it. Whoa, whoa, whoaaa, he thought. Am I seeing right? He shot a look over at Tom and B'Elanna, both of whom seemed to be delighted at this turn of proceedings. Well, this could prove to get things real interesting. If we get through this ordeal intact, that is.
Kathryn and Chakotay settled down at their usual seats. "We're sorry to be late," said Kathryn, but we had a few things to settle. But, I promise, this will be the last time I'm late for a meeting I call. Now, about our offensive on the Jem'Hadar." She smiled at Harry. "Ensign?"
Harry took the cue and called up the plan of the Jem'Hadar ship on the viewscreen. "This is it," he said, gesturing at the screen. "The ship we want to infiltrate. We've only managed to do long range passive scans of it, so the details are a little sketchy, but we'll have to make do.
"So far Lieutenant Torres, Seven and I have made twenty TCBs, only four of which are genuine. The rest are all decoys, meant to distract the Jem'Hadar from picking up the real ones. Each of these bombs are going to be encased in a bio-organic substance, which will hopefully help mask the transnucleic signature of the real bombs. The real bombs are all going to be set against key points of the ship's infrastructure near the polaron beam generator, here, here and here." Red flashing dots appeared on the diagram, indicating the key structural points.
"Alright. All these bombs have to be activated only after beam-in either by hand or by a short-range transmission activator. We've programmed them to detonate after seven minutes, which gives the away team ample time to escape and Voyager to move as far away as possible," he told them. "We need a minimum of three personnel on the Away Team to be able to set up all these bombs before the Jem'Hadar get to them- the away team, that is. We've given an estimate of four minutes to the away team, which means five bombs have to be planted at every minute. It's a close call, but I think we can do it.
"Now, as to getting on and off the Jem'Hadar ship itself. It's the trickiest part, but I think we can manage. What we'll do is to spring out on them from nowhere and use the element of surprise to drill a hole in their shields with an annular modulation beam and transport the crew in. The crew will carry a pre-timed tricobalt device that they will subsequently cause a hull breach and reset their shields. According to Seven, there is a slight delay in the reset of the shields- about five milliseconds or so- but that'll be enough for us to beam out the away team if they locate themselves at predestined coordinates."
He finished and swept his glance over the crew. "The timing is very tight. One misstep and everything could fail." He squared his shoulders. "But I'm sure we're up to it."
"And is there a plan B in case this one fails?" asked Neelix.
Harry swallowed a deep breath, not knowing if he should reply.
Kathryn came to his rescue. "There is a plan B," she said softly. "But we will not deploy it except under the most dire circumstances."
The mood in the room sobered considerably. Harry couldn't help but notice that Chakotay reached his hand out to grasp Kathryn's for reassurances. But this time Harry wasn't smiling.
"We need to assemble an away team and begin preparation as soon as possible," he said. "We don't know how long more we can hide from the Dominion sensors."
"This is a high-risk mission," the Doctor began. "As I am the only holographic member of the crew I hold less risk of being harmed by the Jem'Hadar. Also, one might need my medical assistance on the team."
Kathryn sighed, an unusual tension filling her face. "Thank you for your suggestion, Doctor. But I already had a team in mind: Seven, Tuvok and myself."
Chakotay angled his face towards her in concern. "Captain-"
Kathryn patted his hand softly, a signal to keep it for later in private. "I've already decided on my choice. I know you will all have objections, but my word is final."
Harry noticed the tension in the room grow, and shifted in his seat.
Kathryn stood and began pacing the room. "The upcoming battle with the Jem'Hadar is not going to be an easy one, and I know that most of you have many reservations about our current course of action. But I assure you that it is all for the best. There is much more at stake here than just the safety of our ship. The Jem'Hadar want our tactical information and whatever data we have on the Delta Quadrant- including over two hundred gigaquads of information on Borg technology and tactics. And that's something I'm not willing to give to them. We will stop these Jem'Hadar at whatever the cost- even our own lives." A strange light came into her eyes. "But we have weathered obstacles just as big as this before and pulled through. Voyager will continue."
"You seem unusually confident of that," remarked B'Elanna gloomily.
Kathryn smiled at her. "As long as the my crew stays together and works together, I have faith in them that they will pull through no matter what." She straightened up, rubbing her hands together slightly. "Any other questions?"
Tom raised his hand, almost in a schoolboy- like fashion. "Are you dating Chakotay?"
The tension in the room broke as the crew erupted in laughter. Even Tuvok was looking amused. Chakotay seemed mortified, but not seriously so.
She chuckled and shook her head. "Alright, I don't like keeping too many secrets on this ship. Yes, in a sense, I am." She walked to Chakotay's side and placed her hand fondly on his shoulder. "After a long period of consideration, I have decided that perhaps some of my personal philosophies need to be rethought." Chakotay reached out and gripped her hand. "We've had our differences and difficulties over the years, yes, but maybe we would work better together if we didn't keep denying our feelings for each other, pushing them away so that we became almost apathetic to each other's needs." Her hand brushed Chakotay's cheek lightly. "It might work, even if it's only for a while."
Neelix beamed. "Why, that's so sweet!"
"Thank you." She was all business again. "Now, if there are no further questions, there is a lot of things we have to do before we confront or get discovered by the Dominion. B'Elanna will delegate duties to the rest of the crew. Seven, Tuvok, please stay behind for away team briefing." She nodded. "Dismissed."
The Federation ship was near. He sensed it. Sitting on the bridge and monitoring the activities of the fleet through his optical eyepiece, Weyoun thought he could almost smell them. Almost.
The treacherous purple nebula hovered like a gauze over the Jem'Hadar fleet, veiling the treasure that lay within it. Weyoun frowned and steepled his fingers, irked. They had been searching for the ship for an unreasonably long period of time- more than a day, in fact. Surely the Founder was getting displeased with their slowness. He glanced around the bridge at the silent crew of Jem'Hadar manning it. They were efficient and obedient workers, but somehow they lacked that slight … edge the Vorta had in battle. It was why the Founders had chosen them to lead the Jem'Hadar. It was a worthy and honorable task, and Weyoun had a fiercely fanatic devotion to it.
A triple beep brought a small anomaly in the readings to his attention. He looked down at it: traces of ion trails produced by standard Federation sublight engines leading to a point not very far from their current coordinates.
A smile of triumph touched his lips as he bored his gaze into the clouds of salmon and magenta. Soon, he thought, soon I will have my quarry.
Chakotay increased his stride to catch up with Kathryn down the corridor as she headed back to her quarters after the away team mission had concluded. "Captain," he called out.
She slowed down and turned to face him, looking troubled. "Chakotay? Is something wrong?"
He stopped in front of her, frowning. "You know what's wrong."
She shut her eyes and quirked her lips. "Oh, Chakotay, please. Not again."
He sighed. "Kathryn, it's a dangerous mission. I don't want you to put your life in jeopardy. What would happen if something happened to you on that Jem'Hadar ship? This ship still needs its captain." And I still need my captain, he thought, leaving the words unspoken but implied.
Kathryn folded her arms. "Look, Chakotay, I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself. It's not like I'll be going in there alone…"
"The last time you beamed onto a hostile ship you were assimilated by the Borg…"
"Only because it was a Borg Cube I beamed into, and it was our intention all along."
"But still." Chakotay remained worried. "I'd feel more secure if it was me on that ship instead of you." He touched her hand.
Kathryn frowned at Chakotay in determination, then resumed walking. "What kind of captain would I be if I sent my own crewmembers into danger for my own safety?"
Chakotay followed her. "It's not solely for your own safety, Captain. Not even for the safety of the whole ship. There's a lot more at stake in this mission."
"Which is why I need to be there personally." She stopped again and took Chakotay's hand. "Don't worry so much, Chakotay. This will be the last time I'm doing this. I promise."
He sighed, acquiescing. "Fine. But be careful, alright?"
She nodded. "By the way, come with me to my quarters, will you?"
He shrugged. "Of course."
Her quarters were in an unusual state of disarray. She went over to her desk and pushed aside several padds and holographic projectors. "Here, have a look at this." She handed him a padd. "The Vorta who addressed us yesterday, Weyoun… he didn't exactly look like this, did he?"
Chakotay took the padd and studied the picture. "No," he finally decided. "It's not him."
"I thought so. That means it isn't any confusion caused by the concussion…" she placed the padd down on the cluttered table. "The person speaking to us yesterday wasn't Weyoun." She gestured to the padd. "He is… or rather, was. The real Weyoun is dead."
"Dead? I thought the Changelings could clone them. Or did I remember wrongly?"
"The factory was destroyed. Or so I read." She shrugged. "At any rate, whoever addressed us yesterday wasn't all he made himself out to be."
"An impostor?"
"Perhaps."
Chakotay shrugged. "Why would anyone want to pose as this Vorta? He's a virtual unknown in this quadrant. Why not be someone else?"
"I don't know. But it does put a whole new spin on the situation, doesn't it?"
"The whole fleet could be an impostor…" he thought. "Which means it might not be polaron beams which hit our ships… and that our plan may not work."
"Oh, we're pretty sure they were polaron beams, alright," said Kathryn, folding her arms. "What worries me is that we're facing a total unknown here."
"Aren't we always?" he asked, smiling slightly.
Kathryn clasped his arm, nodding. "Yes… the path before us is never certain…" A strange light came into her eyes. "But we'll be alright, Chakotay. One way or another, this ship is going to pull through this ordeal."
"You're sure?"
"Yes," she said, the light shining in her eyes.
He smiled and patted her arm, suddenly feeling like his whole life was full and complete just standing near her. She looked so beautiful, so perfect in this moment. He could envision spending the rest of his life by her side, content and never apart. Just the thought of it seemed to banish all his worries of the Jem'Hadar. Somehow, somehow they'd get through this like they always did, and when it was all over she would be his. After six and a half years of longing and restraint, she'd finally come to him. He smiled. " That's very good."
This time, Weyoun went into the Changeling's presence with good news. The Federation starship had been spotted. Finally they would secure success.
The Changeling was scrutinizing a tactical display when Weyoun entered the room. "The Federation starship has been sighted," he said, bowing before the Changeling. He placed his own padd down reverently before the Founder.
The Changeling gave it a cursory glance and nodded. He then gestured to the screen in front of him. " What do you make of this?"
Weyoun glanced at the plans appraisingly and frowned. "It is an energy-release diagram."
The shapeshifter grunted in approval. "Correctly deduced," he replied. " Now, what does the diagram show?"
" A catastrophic energy release which tears the fabric of space-time."
" Also correct." The Founder smiled cruelly. " Now, see these calculations… " he pointed to rows of numbers below the plan. " What do they tell you?"
Weyoun studied the plan, then tried not to suck in an amazed breath. " A wormhole… ripping its way across the galaxy… through Bajor. It'll destroy the whole planet!" His eyes glinted. " And the Federation ship's destruction will catalyze the formation of this wormhole!"
The Changeling nodded to Weyoun. " Excellent."
It would be a double blow to the Federation, Weyoun realized. Losing one of their ships and valuable tactical information about the Delta Quadrant, as well as the phenomenal loss of an entire planet. It was a brilliant plan, he thought.
" A brilliant plan, don't you think?" the Changeling asked him. " That's all we're going to need for our plan to succeed."
Weyoun was momentarily confused. What happened to his meticulous plans to capture the starship? And what of all the tactical information that they needed to survive in this place?
"The plans have changed. All we need is this… then we will be able to roam the galaxy freely and rightfully as we once did." He smiled and lifted his hands up. " Liberation will at last be ours."
Weyoun looked up at the Founder and realized for the first time that his eyes were glowing.
"There are only three places possible for our away team to beam in," B'Elanna told Seven, the so-called "bomb team's delegate" on the away team. "Personally, I'd take this exhaust port on deck seventeen, where it's closest to the polaron beam generator, but it's too heavily shielded for us to penetrate." She moved her finger up on the schematic and pointed. "So instead we'll use this one, two decks up. It's a longer walk to most of the coordinate points, so we'll have to move faster." She sighed. "I sincerely hope nothing goes wrong."
The two of them were in Engineering, running through the procedure for the away team, slowly and meticulously going over every detail. B'Elanna was more than worried. It wasn't just the fate of the ship or even the whole quadrant that worried her the most. She was most concerned over the safety of the away team: Tuvok and the captain and Seven. She didn't know what her life would be like without them- even Seven, she thought. Seven wasn't exactly the closest friend she had, but she didn't hate her anymore either.
Seven glanced curiously at her as she paused. "You are worried," she said. It was not a question.
B'Elanna blew air between her lips with a sigh. "Who isn't?"
Seven frowned oddly. "The captain, for one thing," she said, and from her tone of voice B'Elanna knew that she'd been thinking about this for a long time yet was unable to come up with an explanation for it.
B'Elanna shrugged. "So maybe she's confident of pulling through this crisis in one piece. Or she's trying to put on a brave face for her crew." She let out a soft chuckle. "Or maybe it's because of Chakotay." It was no secret than most of the crew was delighted by the latest turn of events between the first officer and his captain. The senior crew, for one, was fully supportive of her decision. They seemed so much more relaxed and untroubled when comfortable which each other's presence. For that they worked better together, and B'Elanna was glad that both of them had, at least, found happiness with each other.
Seven paused in thought. "What does it feel like to be in love, Lieutenant?"
The question caught her totally off-guard. " Pardon?"
" What does it feel like to be in love?"
B'Elanna paused. " I don't know, actually… it's just a feeling you get. You feel more happy…, more relaxed. Content with life, at least." She shrugged. " It's a good feeling… but one which is rather hard to put your finger on." She thought of Tom and smiled a little. " Sometimes it takes a little while to get used to it, especially if you haven't … been loved much in your life." Her smile grew slightly twisted, bitter. She gave Seven a funny glance. " I guess I'm not making very much sense, am I?"
"On the contrary." The ex-Borg continued to study the schematic as she spoke. "It makes perfect sense. Human emotions are very … complex, and they are hard to quantify."
"'Hard to quantify'… Well, that's one way of looking at love, I suppose." She put her hands on her hips. As a newlywed couple, she and Tom had experienced their share of difficulties and differences, but everything was still working out for the moment. They had their goals, their plans. They both wanted kids; they both wanted to get back to Earth, and most of all they both wanted each other. B'Elanna wouldn't trade anything in the universe for what she had now.
Seven's commbadge beeped, and she tapped it. "Seven of Nine."
"Seven." It was the captain's voice. "The Dominion ships are on intercept course. Report to Transporter Room Three. "
Seven nodded tersely. "Acknowledged. Seven of Nine out."
B'Elanna took a shaky breath and tried not to show it. "Well, it looks like it's time to see if our theories work." Under her breath she muttered, " They sure as hell had better…"
Neelix sauntered into Sickbay, trying not to look too impatient. The Doctor was there, trying to cram Tuvok on emergency medical techniques at the last minute. The Vulcan, to his merit, was trying to maintain a modicum of interest as the Doctor once again demonstrated the use of his adapted dermal regenerator. "So you hold it over the injury, like this, and you press this button here-"
Finally even Tuvok's famed Vulcan patience was up. "Thank you, Doctor," he said with a slight touch of sarcasm, "but I believe we were taught how to operate a dermal regenerator in our first year at Starfleet Academy."
"Well," huffed the Doctor in his routine I'm-being-under-appreciated-again manner, "I believed that Starfleet Academy was quite a long time ago for you, so I thought I might run a refresher course." Insulted by the Vulcan's insouciant manner, he turned his back to him and added, " But if you think that you do not require the benefit of my coaching, that's fine by me. If anyone gets hurt or dies during the away team mission, it's not going to be my fault." At this he shot Tuvok a venomous glance before stomping away into his office.
Tuvok merely raised an eyebrow.
As he left Sickbay, Neelix walked over to the doorway of the Doctor's office and cleared his throat slightly. " Doctor?"
The Doctor, still grumpy, didn't glance up as he said " Yes?"
Neelix folded his hands together on his belly with what he hoped was a cheerful smile. " The ointment I asked for yesterday…"
The Doctor looked up at him, visibly brightening. "Did you want me to do something for you?"
"Ah… no. I asked for a vial of ointment yesterday."
The Doctor nodded. "Ah." Then he frowned. " What ointment?"
" For my skin rash? I told you that I was slightly allergic to the juices of that blue fruit we picked from that last planet."
The Doctor seemed perturbed. "I don't remember that."
"I asked you just as you were throwing me out of Sickbay, so maybe you don't remember anything about it."
Now the Doctor was definitely giving him an odd look. " I threw you out of Sickbay? Since when?"
"You threw everybody out of Sickbay yesterday," Neelix reminded him. He gestured to the deserted Sickbay. "Why else do you think it is so empty?"
"I did? Now, why would I do that?"
Neelix shrugged. " You wanted to give Captain Janeway some rest, so you declared Sickbay off-limits to all personnel except those who needed severe medical attention, of which there were none on board the ship. So basically you just sent everyone packing back to their quarters."
The Doctor stared at him some more, then finally blinked. " I need to run a check on all my subroutines. I seem to be forgetting quite a number of things."
"And my ointment…?"
"Is coming right up once I figure out what's the problem with my program."
Neelix nodded and left the Doctor's office, shaking his head and muttering about absent-minded holograms. As he stepped out of Sickbay, he heard the first sounds of the Red Alert klaxon starting.